Borrowed (Embracing Series) (17 page)

“Evan, will you look at me? I need you and only you. This is about you and me and no one else. I love you so much, I can’t imagine my life without you. Liam isn’t here, I don’t know where he is. I want to be with you, please don’t turn away from me. I know this is hurting you as much as it is me.” She said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Here it was, she wanted me to make love to her and I was crying like a bitch.

I grabbed Lila by the waist and started kissing her, she dropped the blanket, I took her coat off and then her shirt, and she started undressing me as she kicked her boots off. This woman was so goddamn sexy. I pulled my pants down and I was so fucking hard my dick hurt. I knew she could feel it as I pushed up against her.

“Evan, now. I need you now…
Please…”

“I don’t have any condoms, Lila. I wasn’t planning on doing this.” I said as I kissed her breast.

“Don’t need it, I’m on the pill.” She said as she kissed my neck.

“You sure? I have never been bareback with anyone.” I said as I kissed her neck.

“I’m sure, now please, I want you.” She said as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I pushed her back up against the tree and guided myself in her sweetness. It felt so good being inside of her, she was so tight and so wet. I could feel her juices running down my balls.

“Evan…Oh God… Evan, please go deeper. I want to feel all of you. It’s been to fucking long since I had you and I want it all. Oh God, Evan I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby. Always have and always will.” I said as I pushed deeper into her. She started screaming my name, her panting was making her breathless, I could feel my balls tighten, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came.

“I’m need to pull out, I’m getting ready to come.” I said as I gave her one last thrust.

“No, please no… I want all of you, please come in me Evan. The pill, I’m on the pill… Let it go baby, come with me.” She said as she wrapped her legs tighter and pushed her body further down me.

“Lilia! Oh good God….” I roared as I came inside of her.

“Evan, that was wonderful.” She said as she kissed my cheek.

“I thought so, too,” I said trying to catch my breath, it was at least thirty degrees and there was snow on the ground, but we made each other so damn hot. We got dressed and lay back down and talked about everything. I wanted to make sure she was okay and that she didn’t have any regrets.

“Lila, are we okay? I know that you love Liam and will always go back to him, but I can’t lose you. Hell I would marry you if I could. You mean so much to me.” I said as I rubbed my hand across her cheek.

“Evan, please know that I will always go back to Liam. But right now I am with you, I want to see where this will go. If you will allow that?”

“Anything you want, as long as I have you in some way. I am fine with that.” I said knowing, that it would kill me if he showed back up.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” I asked as I kissed her hand.

“Paris, I have always wanted to go there.” She said with a giggle

“Someday my love, someday we will go.” I said as I hugged her tight.

We laid there for what seemed to be hours and then got ready to head back to the city. Lila had decided she was going to stay with me, and I was glad she was. It was really late when we got back, so I carried her in and laid her in my bed. I slept with her in my arms all night long, I wondered how Liam was so lucky to have her heart. I wanted it so bad and he had it.

It had been a little over three weeks since Lila and I made love at Black Bear. She still hadn’t heard anything from Liam. I wanted to surprise her and take her out for her birthday. I had so much at the office to do, and she said she just wanted some alone time. So I worked and let her have her time, but come December 22
^nd
she was spending the evening with me, I knew that Nikki nor Addison would be able to come in for her birthday. So I figured I was the next best thing, I made reservations at Digordo’s an Italian restaurant in Jersey City. It would be a little drive but I know we both need it. So much had been going through my mind since the day she told me she was in love with me too. I just didn’t know what to do about it all.

I was leaving the office and my phone started ringing, I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the screen when Lila’s name came across the screen. She said she wanted alone time, but maybe she had changed her mind.

“Hello, darlin’,” I said as I smiled, but it was a man’s voice that came through the other end. “Yes, this is Evan… Okay I’m on my way.” I said as I threw my brief case back on my desk. It was a guy named Vin, he said Lila needed me.

I drove as fast as I could to Lila’s place. Once I walked through the door, I saw a young man with an Army hat on. Lila made a mad dash toward me and started sobbing as I pulled her into my arms. She couldn’t get any words out, just sobs.

“Sir, I’m Vin. I’m a buddy of Liam’s. He was in a crash six months ago and they can’t find him. He had given me some things to bring to Lila if he hadn’t returned. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell her.”

“Thank you for coming, Vin. I won’t leave her alone. If you hear anything else, could you please let us know?” I asked as I shook his hand.

He hugged Lila and left. My girl was a mess, she wouldn’t speak at all. She just cried, I called Brody and Nikki, and then Lila’s parents. Nikki was going to tell The Ellis’s. Brody brought me some clothes over and a pizza. Lila still wouldn’t eat anything. It hurt me so damn bad to have seen her like this. She was like a walking zombie, she stayed curled up in my lap. I made some coffee and she wouldn’t drink it either. So I did exactly as she wanted, I held her in my arms and let her cry for the man she loved, the other man who had everything I wanted.

I awoke to the sound of Lila’s phone. It had been ringing non-stop since last night. I talked to her mom and to her friends. Nikki was flying out today which was Lila’s birthday. I tried to get her to shower and she wouldn’t but she finally talked to her brother Eric. He was hurting as bad as she was, I could hear it in his voice. She had been holding a letter from Liam, but never opened it.

“Come on Lila, you have to take a shower.” I said as I pulled her off the couch. She was still in the same clothes she had on yesterday and her hair was in a very messy bun on top of her head, she had tear stains on her face.

“No,” is all she said as she curled up in a small ball on her couch. She had a blanket wrapped around her and a pillow that she had been crying into. I don’t think she has left the couch since Vin left.

I looked at Brody and he knew what I wanted, he went into the bathroom and started the shower for me. I picked Lila up and threw her over my shoulder. She didn’t say a word until she noticed what my plans were. I stood her up in the shower and the water hit her face and she let out a scream, and the tears started pouring out again.

“What the fuck are you doing?” she cried. I felt bad for standing her in there fully clothed. But it had to be done.

“You need to shower, now you do it or I will.” I said as I started to undress her. She still beautiful even in the mess she was in. I stepped in the shower with all my clothes on.

“No, I’m not. Leave me alone, Evan. Just fucking leave, I don’t need you here! I don’t need anyone, I don’t want to take a shower, nor do I need your goddamn pity. GO… Now just leave me alone. I’m a big girl and can take care of my damn self, no need for a babysitter. So take your friend and all your shit and get the fuck out of my place.” She said as she pounded my chest with her little fist. I’m not leaving her like this, she could hate me all that she wanted but I wasn’t going any fucking where. I moved her so her back was against my chest, and I was holding her arms to her chest. I felt bad for holding her down like this, but she was acting crazy.

“Lila, either you do this, or I will!” I said in a calm stern voice. I felt like I was scolding a child and making them bathe. She still stood there so I pulled her shirt over her head, pulled her shorts and panties down, and started washing her off, I washed her entire body including her hair. I was soaked, glad Brody brought me some more clothes. I got a towel dried her off and dressed her, I put her body spray on her, and brushed her hair out and put it back in a ponytail. She just sat there why I did it all.

“Okay, now you can brush your teeth or I will.” I said as I picked up her tooth brush. She just looked at me. Her baby blue eyes was swollen and red, her lips and nose was red and swollen as well. She took her toothbrush out of my hand and picked up the tooth paste and turned the water on. Her hands were shaking as she tried to squeeze out the tooth paste. I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her stomach. I loved the way she smelled. I inhaled before I spoke, and said “You will be okay, I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.”

She brushed her teeth then placed a kiss on my lips, and hugged me tighter than anyone ever has. I seen the tears getting ready to pour again. I just kept placing kisses on her head.

“Evan, can I be alone to read Liam’s letter? Then I will come out and eat something. What day is it?” She asked as she sat on the bed, and reached for her iPod.

“Take your time, and it is December 22
^nd
your birthday!” I said as I kissed her cheek.

I walked out the door, and closed it. Hell who the fuck was I kidding, I was ready to have a crying fit myself. She is so hurt and I know her heart is breaking. I don’t know the dude and hated him because he had everything I wanted, but I was upset that something happened to him. It wasn’t fair to him or Lila.

Just as I poured a cup of coffee Nikki and Brody walked in. I could tell Nikki had been crying, she was good friends with Liam’s family also. She ran over and hugged me.

“How is our girl?” She asked as she grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I sighed and took a drink of my coffee and ran my hand over my face.

“Better than last night, she is a mess though. She is reading his letter that guy brought, he also brought a box of pictures and some clothes.

“Well we need to get her out of the house tonight! She can’t sat here and mourn this way.” Nikki said as she hugged me again.

“I know I’m really worried about her though, I’m not sure how she will recover from this.” I said.

We had made Lila go to dinner and bowling for her birthday. Today is Christmas Eve and Nikki was flying back to Ohio. Lila is doing a little better, we are going to spend Christmas at my place. Brody left for Utah this morning. I couldn’t wait to give Lila her gifts. I saw a bracelet at the mall a couple weeks ago and knew it was for her. It was white gold, with a purple and yellow butterflies between each diamond. It was expensive but she was worth it. I also got her a pair of those damn boots she loved.

I cooked a turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I had never really cooked like that before but figured I could give it a try. Lila made apple pie, well she opened the box.

“Evan, that was wonderful. I didn’t think you could cook like that. I will have to call your gran and tell her that she taught you well.” Lila said as she cleared the table.