She hesitated before adjusting her bag on her shoulder and heading toward her desk. “Good morning, Mr. Donovan.”
He pulled up a chair, sat across from her then slid across a gigantic cup that had the word
employee
written on it.
“Your mocha,” he said.
She frowned. But recognizing the logo and Marvin’s handwriting, she accepted it before putting her purse in a desk drawer and taking a seat. “I’m confused.”
“I stopped in. I asked Marvin to tell you they were out of mocha.”
“He did.” She took a big drink, and the hot, creamy chocolate and coffee taste went a long way toward her forgiving both of them. “I don’t understand.”
He slid a bag toward her.
“He wasn’t out of scones, either?”
“I had a drink with Connor yesterday,” he said instead of responding.
She froze, her hand midway to her mouth. “Oh?” She pretended to be uninterested.
“You’ve been shortlisted for the position at BHI.”
Her hand trembling, she put down the cup. She hadn’t heard. But he shouldn’t have been informed before she was.
“I asked Connor to remove you from the list.”
She stood. “Wait a minute! You can’t do that. You shouldn’t even know I applied, let alone be able to—”
“Stop. Please.”
If he’d used a sharp tone or held up a hand, she would have gathered her belongings and left or snapped back, but there was a tone in his voice that she’d never heard before.
“Please, Kelsey. I don’t deserve to have you hear me out. But I’m asking. Five minutes of your time. That’s all. If you want to be angry, rage, fine. You’ll get all the time you want and need to ask me questions and have your say. Please give me the chance to talk. Five minutes. Please.”
She sat back down.
“I screwed up. I’ve had plenty of time to think over the last couple of days. I’m a bit ashamed of how long it took me to figure it out. And unless I’d had that drink with Connor, I still might not have. Let me start over, pretend it’s Sunday morning at your condo.”
She took a sip, listening.
Obviously filled with nervous energy, he stood.
“I should have asked what you wanted to do with the rest of the day. I should have asked what you wanted out of a relationship, what mattered to you. And I should have listened.” He raked both hands in his hair then he propped his palms on his hips, holding back his suit coat. “I’m an idiot. I want you.”
Unable to pretend disinterest, she put down her cup again.
“And I want to know from you how that can happen. If you want to move in, I’d love it. If you want to stay at your house a few nights a week, fine. If you want to firebomb my place and build a castle with a turret, fine.”
Don’t do this to me.
This Nathan was impossible to resist.
“I talked about what I wanted from you, but not what I was willing to offer you in return. I want you to chase your dreams and choose whatever life you want. I will not stand in the way of anything you hope to achieve.”
“BHI?”
“Even that.”
Kelsey reached for a pen and tapped it on her blotter, thinking through what his words meant. She needed to leave him as badly as she wanted to stay.
“And I started thinking about the fact Lara has you on her shortlist. And it occurred to me you should run Donovan Logistics.”
She dropped the pen. “What?”
“There’s no one better. Even me. You have the trust of the employees, of me. You’ve got the qualifications and the experience. I think you’re suited for it, and I think you’d look good in the executive office. I talked to Newman. He agrees it’s an excellent idea.”
“And Connor?”
“Agrees with me. Freeing up more of my time for the Dallas deal would be a good thing.”
“Are you moving there?”
“No. Even if the deal closes, we’ll insert one of our own CEOs. But I would be vacating this office.” He jerked his finger toward the open door.
“I’m not quite sure what to say.”
“My five minutes are almost up.”
“You have more?”
“Yeah. The hard part.”
“That was the easy part?”
“I want to marry you.”
In stunned silence, she looked at him. This was everything. And every bit as impossible as her moving into his house as his sub. “I—”
“I’m not your father. I want what you want for your life, not what I want you to have. There’s a difference.”
“It’s…huge. My dad only wanted the best for my mom. What
he
thought was the best. And for me.”
“We can go as slow or as fast as you want. You can say yes now, tomorrow or in ten years. But I’m in. There is no other woman for me. No one I’d rather have as a sub. No one I’d rather have in charge of this company. No one I’d rather marry. It’s you, Kelsey. You. You complete my heart, challenge my brain, satisfy me physically. I love you.”
“You…”
“Yeah. The
L
word. I love you. Even if you have nothing to offer in return, even if you don’t want to submit to my spankings or have me fuck you hard…”
Everything in her turned molten.
“I still want you to become the CEO. And if that’s not what you want, and you want to pursue a position in oil and gas, you have my support. I love you so much that your happiness is the most important thing to me. And you can say you’ll marry me. Or not. But it won’t change the fact I’d be honored to have you as my wife. As Mrs. Donovan.” He scowled. “Or Ms. Lane, if you don’t want to change your name. I’m not perfect. I’m going to screw up. You’re going to wish I were way more attentive, or less attentive. And I may slip back into my old ways, but I want you to be strong enough to remind me where I failed, and I will do my utmost to make it right. Your terms, Kelsey.” As if all of his energy had drained, he sat. “Please put me out of my God damn misery. One way or the other.”
It took another full thirty seconds for everything he’d said to filter through her disbelief and shock. “This is a lot.”
He gave a half-smile. “That’s why I brought you the mocha.”
“As a bribe?”
“No. I didn’t want you thinking sharply. I was hoping to catch you off guard before you were awake enough to say no.”
“Oh, Nathan…”
“God, woman, you wreck me. My heart, my soul. I can’t be without you.” His voice sounded raw, his words blazed with honesty. And his watch beeped a warning. Impatiently he swiped away the heart and the noise. “Damn thing doesn’t let me act as calm as I pretend to be.”
This.
This was what she’d wanted. Happiness, and someone to share it with. A man who wasn’t just ordinary, but one who would demand a lot from her in return for what he offered. “The marriage thing is a little sudden.”
“You can take your time, as much as you need. Are you done yet?”
She shook her head. “Do you ever change?”
“It’s not going to be easy.” He shrugged. “
I’m
not going to be easy. But both are worthwhile. Please save my soul by saying you love me.”
“I do. I’ve been halfway in love with you for a while. And I knew it for sure on Sunday.”
“You have an odd way of showing it.” He shook his head.
“I couldn’t go back to a regular work relationship, maybe watch you date. But I knew if I continued to be your sub after hours and moved in with you, I might lose track of my goals. Getting a little distance for both of us could be a good thing.”
“As long as you give me everything when we’re together. The rest we’ll figure out.” He spread his legs.
Overcome, hardly able to think, she stood. One thing she did know. More than anything, she wanted to obey his command.
Kelsey went to him, collapsed against his chest and allowed him to wrap her in his arms.
He rubbed her, stroked her then he put his hand in her hair and pulled back her head to give a kiss that ignited her senses and left no doubt of his feelings or commitment. “You’re mine, Kelsey. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it.”
Also available from Totally Bound Publishing:
Mastered: With This Collar
Sierra Cartwright
Excerpt
Chapter One
“And now, friends, Lana will offer her submission to her new husband,” Damien Lowell said.
Julia scowled. Submission?
Lana and Julia had chatted on the phone earlier in the week to discuss the final wedding plans. Lana had warned that the union would be a bit untraditional. She’d been vague about the details, but she’d made Julia promise to say nothing during the ceremony.
They’d been friends since they were ten, and there was no way Julia would miss the festivities, even if they were a bit odd.
Until now, everything had been what she’d expected.
Lana and Ben were being married at their friend Damien’s mountain home. Damien was also performing the ceremony.
About two dozen of the couple’s closest friends had gathered in the great room and, at dusk, Lana had descended the stairs of Damien’s picturesque home, carrying a single, beautiful, white rose to match her full-length gown.
The only gift requested had been a candle. In a romantic gesture, the pair had said they wanted all their friends to light their way into their future.
As Ben and Lana had joined hands and faced Damien, fat snowflakes had fallen from the cloudy sky. The vows had included the word obey, which was somewhat unusual among their circle of friends. But everything else had been normal. Lana had placed her rose on the mantel behind Damien before she and Ben had exchanged rings.
“Lana?” Damien prompted.
“Yes, Sir,” Lana said.
‘Sir’?
Until tonight, Julia hadn’t met Damien. She knew he was a friend of the groom’s, and he was drop-dead, movie star handsome. The man had rakishly long, dark hair that curled at his nape, and he wore an indefinable air of command as easily as he filled out his charcoal grey suit. But still, for her friend to call him ‘Sir’…?
Lana cast her gaze at the floor and gracefully turned her back to her new husband.
Ben undid the row of tiny buttons that held her gown closed.
What the hell?
Ben drew the material from Lana’s shoulders and let the dress fall to the floor.
Lana, wearing stacked heels, a merry widow and stockings, stepped out of the dress, and another man scooped it up and laid it across a chair.
Like Damien, this man was also ridiculously tall. That was where the resemblance ended. This man had an olive complexion that hinted at a Mediterranean background. His head was shaved. He wore black jeans and a black T-shirt that revealed a number of tattoos. A thick, knotted silver bracelet adorned his left wrist, and a silver stud pierced his right earlobe. He could have been a pirate in a former life.
Suddenly
unconventional
took on a whole new meaning. Julia had never been more distressed. Part of her wanted to make an escape, and a bigger part of her wanted to shake some sense into her friend. But she was riveted in place by her promise to remain silent.
With a grace that spoke of practice, Lana knelt.
Jesus.
All through college, they’d each vowed to keep their independence. They’d pushed against the glass ceiling, and they’d fought for their positions in corporate America. And now her friend was kneeling in front of her husband, almost naked, for their guests to see?
Julia wondered if she was the only one who was frozen in shock.
Lana spread her legs a bit farther apart, and she leant forward to kiss one of Ben’s shoes.
Julia gasped.
From the front of the room, Damien looked over his shoulder at her, his eyebrows raised.
Firm, relentless hands landed on her shoulders. Her heart rate increased with her panic.
“Be quiet,” a man whispered harshly into her ear.
“I—”
“I said be quiet.”
She gritted her teeth. The man’s tone was commanding.
He pulled her back a bit, and she inhaled the unmistakable—and sexy—scent of leather.
In that same rich and rough, for-her-ears-only voice, he added, “Or else I’ll haul your sweet ass out of here and turn you over my knee.”
For the first time in her life, she was rendered speechless.
“Lana’s doing this of her own choice,” he continued.
She struggled against his grip, but he dug his fingers deeper into her flesh.
“Surely she told you to expect some unconventional things.”
“But—”
“Trust her,” he urged. “Like she trusted you.”
When Julia had given her promise, she’d had no idea what that had meant or how difficult it would be to keep her word. Julia spent her entire life in control, and she hung out with women like herself. And now a powerful man had her imprisoned while her friend was on her knees in front of a roomful of people. The experience was surreal.
With unshakable force, the man pulled her back a few steps so they were several feet away from the rest of the guests. He held her firmly against his body.
She still hadn’t caught a glimpse of her assailant.
“Do you really want to make a scene and embarrass yourself as well as your friend?” he asked softly. “Nothing you do or say will stop tonight’s proceedings. So I recommend you behave yourself.”
“Damn you.”
“Last warning,” he said.
His tone rang with an authority she didn’t dare question. He was speaking quietly, but that made his words all the more terrifying. He’d threatened to turn her over his knee, and in that instant she believed he’d do it. She stopped fighting. “Who the hell are you?” she demanded in a whisper.