Each icy raindrop that fell onto my face, stung at my tender skin. I finally gave in to the urge to let my eyes close. And again, I heard nothing, I felt nothing. This wasn’t good. I had never felt so...detached from my own body before. I couldn’t move a single limb; I couldn’t form a single coherent thought. Something was seriously wrong. And then everything turned to black. I couldn’t even see any light through the thin skin of my eyelids. I felt my breathing slow, each breath getting shorter, and further away from the next.
And then I was gone.
I could hear her voice; I could feel her light touch against my cold chest. But I couldn’t see her. Where was I? More to the point, where was Emily?
I was cold. Really cold, and my body felt heavy, as if it had been swallowed by the soft mattress that I seemed to be lying on.
“It’s been nearly two days, there must be something wrong,” I heard Emily’s voice again, laced with concern and worry.
I tried to force my eyes open, but my lids were too heavy, they wouldn’t respond. I tried to lift my hand; desperate to feel Emily’s skin beneath my touch, but it wouldn’t move.
“His fist just clenched,” Emily’s excited voice trilled.
Did it?
I hadn’t felt any movement. Was she even talking about
my
fist? I concentrated hard, putting every ounce of my wavering strength behind the simple action of opening my eyes. I needed to see her. I needed to know that she and Maia were safe. I had no idea where I was, or how I got here, but I could remember watching Emily scream in terror before my first dose of pain had hit, and I had to make sure that that fear in her eyes had gone. My head began to pound as I fought against what my body was doing - which was absolutely nothing - and what I wanted it to do.
My eyes finally flickered open slightly. Emily’s face was blurred in my vision, but she was there. Her beautiful, deep eyes widened as she glanced down at me.
“Oh, Julian, thank God!” She reached forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of my mouth. I wanted to turn, to kiss her back, but my head wouldn’t comply. “He’s awake,” she called to someone behind her. A man, wearing bright blue from head to toe, came into my sight and began fiddling with something high up above my head. I didn’t even have the strength to raise my eyes to see what it was.
“How are you feeling?” Emily asked in a voice as smooth as silk. Her hand rested on top of mine, and it felt as if it took all of my strength to flip my hand over and squeeze her fingers in mine. She smiled warmly as tears pooled in her eyes and pulled our hands to her lips, kissing my knuckles tenderly.
As each part of my body slowly began to respond to my brain’s requests, my head slowly began to clear, allowing me to think more clearly, to see more clearly. Emily looked beautiful. I had never been more grateful to see a face before me. She had no make-up on; her hair was tied messily on the top of her head in the way I had always loved. Her eyes looked red and tired, and I wondered how long it had been since she had slept. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her down into me as I parted my dry lips and kissed her, slowly. My jaw ached unbearably with each movement, but I didn’t care. Emily was here, and that was all that mattered.
“Where’s Maia?” I asked, my voice sounding strangled and weak.
“She’s with Samantha, don’t you worry about us, it’s you I’m worried about.”
An image of Maia’s body being crushed in my father’s arms flashed into my mind and my eyes involuntarily squeezed together, sending a stab of pain through my head. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, thanks to you. Julian, I can’t thank you enough for what you did for her.”
For what
I
did for her? I did nothing for her. I lost all control and I threw myself at the man holding her without even stopping to think how much that could have hurt Maia. Without stopping to think how much that would frighten her. I hadn’t even looked at her. I couldn’t let myself see that fear behind her perfect eyes. Fear that should never have been there. I should never have let Emily become involved in my family’s mess, and I certainly should never have allowed Maia. I felt sick. How could I have been so goddamn selfish?
“Don’t thank me, Emily,” I said, feeling nothing but disgust with myself. “It was down to me that she was put in danger in the first place.”
“Don’t you dare!” she snapped, startling me slightly with her harsh tone. “Don’t blame yourself for any of this. It wasn’t your fault.”
I opened my mouth to protest but she quickly placed a finger over my lips to quieten me. “Enough,” she scolded, her tone stern and unwavering. “I won’t listen to you torturing yourself. I don’t want to hear another word.”
I felt my lips stretch painfully as a smile formed. She was still incredibly sexy when she was angry, even in this battered state all I could think about was sinking myself into her.
“What happened?” I asked, unsure of whether I really wanted to hear the answer. If my father had walked away from this, which I was assuming he had, I would have no choice but to find him. “I remember my dad, the fight, and then Natalie being there. Then nothing, the rest is a blur.”
“Well, Natalie is fine. Turned out she had something that belonged to your father and he wanted it back,” she explained and I noticed a slight hint of annoyance in her tone.
“That was what all of this was about? What was it?” I could vaguely recall watching her throw something across the street, but I had no clue as to what it was.
“His little black book, as she called it. It had all the names and addresses of anyone he ever had business with. Obviously if anyone got wind of it, your father would’ve been jailed for the rest of his life, either that or murdered by any one of those names in the book that would have been revealed.”
“Why the fuck didn’t she just tell me that?” I suddenly felt angry. How could she keep something like that to herself when I had spent the best part of my life trying to protect her from him? What the fuck was she playing at?
“I don’t know. That’s not important right now, baby.”
I inhaled deeply, causing a piercing pain to shoot up my rib cage. “Where’s my father?”
Emily’s eyes dropped to our hands as she seemed to be struggling with what to say. “You don’t remember the car?” she asked, her voice revealing her nerves. Why was she nervous? He must have gotten away. I had kind of hoped I had killed him without remembering, although I was certain I would remember that, no matter how badly concussed I was.
I closed my eyes briefly and thought hard about the last thing I could remember. Nothing about a car rang any bells. And then the sound filled my ears once more. The deafening screech of the tyres against the wet Tarmac, the overbearing roar of the engine. “I remember hearing a car. What happened?”
“A car came from nowhere. It knocked your dad down. He died instantly.”
Wow!
I almost choked on the overwhelming emotion that filled me as I began to make sense of what Emily had just told me. My father was dead. I no longer had to look over my shoulder everywhere I went. No longer had to worry for my family’s safety. He was gone. He couldn’t hurt them again. I felt my smile widen again. It might make me sick in the head, but I couldn’t think of a more pleasing piece of news.
“Who was driving the car?” I asked eager to find out who had saved my life.
“We have no idea. They didn’t stick around to be identified.”
“What about the car? Did you see it?”
“No, I didn’t see anything. I heard it, but it wasn’t until Natalie came back up that I came down. The car was long gone.”
“Was it Ryan?”
“Nope, Ryan finally showed up about thirty seconds after it happened.” She winced slightly. “He dealt with your dad’s friend, but don’t ask me how, I didn’t ask.” She paused and locked her gaze on mine. “God, that was nearly enough to kill me, Julian. Not knowing what was going on and not being able to help. And when I saw you...just lying there,” she trailed off, taking a shaky breath as she squeezed her eyes together. “I thought you were dead,” she blurted out before dropping her head to my chest as her body shook violently with her tears.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here,” I soothed, sliding my fingers into her hair and holding her firmly in place.
I was discharged from hospital three days later. I was told I had suffered a severe concussion and severe bruising to my ribs. There was a clean break in my forearm that required a cast for the next eight weeks, but I was alive, and my father was dead. That was enough for me. I wracked my brain over and over again trying to figure out who the hell had been there to run my father down. If it wasn’t Ryan, then who the fuck was it? I couldn’t think of a single person who would have done that for me, or a single scenario that could explain it. People rarely drove down that street at all, let alone fast enough to kill a man instantly. It was no accident, it wasn’t a simple hit and run. Someone had done this. But who?
It felt amazing to be back at home, surrounded by reminders of Emily and Maia and our new life together. Emily wouldn’t let me lift a single finger. She waited on me hand and foot, supplying me with a constant stream of fresh drinks and snacks. Maia was spending the next few nights at Samantha’s, giving me some time to recover, but I couldn’t wait to see her. I was missing her perfect little smile, her glowing wide eyes. I finally felt human again. As long as I continued to swallow my painkillers, my pain was almost non-existent until I moved my head suddenly, which I tried desperately to remember not to do often.
“What do you fancy for lunch?” Emily asked, making my stomach clench as the memory of the event that followed when I had asked her the same question popped into my thoughts.
“Just you.” I grinned wickedly, raising a single brow.
“Don’t even think about it!” she scolded, looking even sexier than usual as her cheeks glowed crimson. “I would imagine that’s the worst thing for your head right now.”
“Then I suggest you take good care of me. I can lay still, my head will be unaffected.”
Sex should’ve been the last thing on my mind in my current state, but I needed her. I needed to feel her warmth around me. It had been five days since I had been alone with her. I needed to feel that she was still mine, with the one and only way that couldn’t ever pretend.
“I need you,” I whispered, begging her with my eyes as she sat down beside me on the sofa.
“Then I suppose, as your carer, I’m obligated to give you whatever you need,” she mimicked, carefully positioning herself above me before kissing me deeply.
Emily opened the door, ordering me to stay put on the sofa as she let Natalie and Ryan in. Natalie apologised over and over again for ever letting things go that far, as far as my father was concerned. But, in a strange way, I was now glad she had kept the book to herself. He must have spent the best part of twenty years in prison, fretting and terrified that Natalie would reveal his precious list to the police. He deserved that. I didn’t mind the beating that he had given me, simply because it had resulted in his death. He deserved that, too.
“I honestly thought he’d killed you,” Natalie said, wiping at her cheek with the back of her hand. “You certainly took a hell of a beating, Julian.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” I smirked, winking.
“It’s not a joking matter!” she scolded. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she screeched, seemingly forgetting her anger entirely as her hand eagerly dived into her handbag. “Here, look at these.” She handed me a small white card as her face glowed with excitement.
I studied the blank card before opening it slowly. Ah, the scan, I had forgotten all about her appointment with my doctor. The small grey image of my little niece or nephew stared back at me from inside the card. I could clearly make out the side profile of a small face and could even see a tiny little leg; it actually looked like a baby. Although, I’m not sure why this surprised me, it
was
a baby after all. I smiled and handed the card to Emily.
“So everything’s okay?” I asked
“Everything is fine. Perfect size and no sign of any problems.”
“How far gone are you?” Emily chirped from beside me. I glanced across to her and saw her staring thoughtfully at the picture with a warm smile on her lips.
“Slightly further than we thought, thirteen weeks today.”
Emily handed the pictures back before pulling Natalie into a hug and gushing about how happy she was for them both. I slapped Ryan’s back, as men did, and I found myself envying him slightly. I wanted a family with Emily, and that was something I never thought I’d find myself even considering. Of course I was happy for the two of them, but there was a strong part of me that was wishing it was Emily and I flashing around photos of our unborn baby. If there was anything I had learned in the past week, it was that life was far too short to sit back and watch your dreams fade away.
“I think it’s about time we considered a brother or sister for Maia, it’s no fun growing up on your own without a sibling to fight with.” I winked at Natalie before turning my attention to Emily. She was staring at me, unblinking, mouth agape, looking more than adorable.
“Are you serious?” she gasped, her eyes remaining wide but with a hint of a smile touching her lips.
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,” I stated, pulling her hand to my mouth and kissing her knuckles.
She looked deep in thought before her eyes warmed. “That’s something we can discuss after the wedding. We only have about five weeks to sort that out.”
“Five weeks?” Natalie yelped. “You’ve set the date and failed to tell me?” Now she looked angry again.
“Sorry, we booked it a few days ago and haven’t had the chance to spread the word yet,” Emily explained, looking somewhat embarrassed, or ashamed, I couldn’t tell which. “I was kind of hoping you might be able to help me organise it. And, given the fact it’s tradition for the best man to sleep with the bridesmaid, it’s only right you should be up there at the altar with me.”
Natalie’s mouth popped open. “Are you asking me to be your bridesmaid?”