Bound to be Dirty (26 page)

“Seriously?” Kim studied the redhead. “Not even in fun?”

“Kim has, Kim has,” Marielle chanted. “So you and Ty tried out some new stuff?”

Kim's dark eyes danced. “Let's just say there's more than one use for a lasso.”

And a bungee cord.
But no way was she going there. It struck Lily that, if she and Dax were still together, it would be fun to toss out the bungee cord comment. Now, though, she wished she could expunge the memory.

“And belts,” Marielle said. “I don't get off on actual pain, but just a little sting across the butt can—”

Lily broke in, pleading, “Could we keep the discussion to the book?”

“Spoilsport,” Marielle grumbled.

“I'm with Lily,” George said. “And I want to know if the ending worked for people. That they say they love each other and they're going to have this amazing life together?”

“Yes, because they give each other what they need,” Kim said. “They complement each other, and that's what a good relationship is about.”

Marielle shook her head. “It didn't work for me. He'll get tired of her and go looking for a fresh, dewy-eyed, closeted submissive. The way I see Neville, part of the excitement is the, uh, initiation. Teaching her, showing her that he knows deep, dark secrets she hasn't acknowledged to herself.”

“Which points out,” George said, “that we don't know what's going on in his mind. We only see him through her eyes. Cassandra believes him when he says he loves her, but the author didn't include his thoughts, so we don't know for sure. The author gives the power to Neville, making him mysterious, so the reader isn't sure what motivates him.”

“True.” Lily put down the fork she'd been using to poke at a crab cake. “But that's like real life. We're never positive what's going on in someone else's head, or heart. It makes us vulnerable.”

“Did you buy into the ending, Lily?” George asked.

At the moment, it was hard to believe that any relationship could survive for the long term. “I have my doubts. Cassandra and Neville are at the beginning of a relationship, with the typical lust, fascination, excitement, a huge sense of possibility.”

As George and Kim nodded, Lily drained her martini and gestured to the waitress for another. No, she wouldn't indulge in a rich, chocolaty drink that reminded her of Dax.

“But those things don't give a foundation for the future,” she went on. “Remember
Ride Her, Cowboy
? Marty and Dirk had that spark of lust but over the course of the book they also developed respect, liking, trust. I saw Marty's discontent with her old way of life, and how Dirk's lifestyle grew on her. That author didn't have Dirk's point of view either, but his actions showed that he came to care for Marty. In a way we could all easily relate to, rather than”—she lowered her voice—“cuffing her to a spreader bar in a BDSM club, which is harder to get our heads around. So when they said they loved each other, I believed in it, and that they'd try to make it work.” Whether they succeeded was another matter. Love and good intentions clearly weren't enough to guarantee a happily-ever-after ending.

George, who'd been nodding as Lily spoke, now said, “
Bound by Desire
's all about the sex, right until the very end. They don't get to know each other as people. They don't talk about their jobs or families. Do they have friends? Hobbies? What are their core values? I don't even know if they like each other, so how can I believe they love each other?”

“That bothered me too,” Marielle said. “This was the first BDSM book I'd read, so I bought another. In this one, the woman's the dom. They're lawyers and they met through work but she didn't know he was a submissive and he didn't know she was a dom. At a convention out of town, they both visit the same BDSM club and have wild dom-sub sex in public. Then they go on to build a relationship, sexual and otherwise. Very hot sex, by the way. It worked better for me than
Bound by Desire
.”

“Woman on top,” Kim teased.

“Ha ha.” Marielle rolled her eyes. “Anyhow, the guy's this really successful lawyer, and it's such a turn-on for him to give over control in the bedroom. Besides, he's been lusting after this woman, and totally respects her, and when they hook up, he gets off on being able to give her this amazing sexual pleasure.”

“There can be a lot of satisfaction in that,” Lily said. “I even believed that with Cassandra. That she not only loved the orgasms Neville gave her, but she loved giving him so much pleasure.”

“Anyhow,” Marielle said, “in that lawyer book, I could see how their lives might look: home, work, sex.”

“Whereas with
Bound by Desire
,” Lily said, “suddenly Neville's supposedly in love with Cassandra, she's the woman who completes him—”

“Gag,” Marielle interrupted. “I've always hated that line.”

“Aw, I think it's sweet,” Kim cooed.

“A woman should be complete on her own, and so should a man,” Marielle said.

“Agreed.” Lily reached for the second martini the waitress was delivering, and sipped it while the woman cleared the now-empty appetizer platters. Lily's plate held a half-eaten crab cake, a nibbled piece of naan pizza, and an untouched samosa. “Anyhow,” she went on, “so Neville says he'll give Cassandra this fabulous, luxurious life. By happy coincidence, she's tired of all that lonely travel and job pressure, and delighted to give up her success and independence to become his treasured pet. And he, who's screwed God knows how many subs, is suddenly going to be content with just Cassandra. I don't buy it.”

“But don't you think that's the appeal for a lot of readers?” Kim asked. “Okay, maybe this book didn't do a great job of making it believable, but I think it's about the fantasy anyway.”

“Which fantasy?” Lily asked curiously.

“Um, a few, now that I think of it,” Kim said. “Let's start with the basic premise. Plain old vanilla sex gets ho-hum and Cassandra wants something more stimulating, but where can she find it? Isn't that something a lot of women can relate to? Women who've dated a bunch of ho-hum guys, or women who've been married forever and things have gone stale. Sorry, Lily, that's not, like, meant to be personal.”

Lily took a gulp from her new martini. She'd learned this past week that sex with Dax would never go stale. And that sex with any other man would pale in comparison. Not that she was likely to be having any sex with anyone, ever again. “Go on.” She forced herself to eat a bite of samosa.

“Okay,” Kim said. “So what do women do? Fantasize, right? Mostly it's non-PC stuff they'd never confess to. Like being with two men. Or a vampire or werewolf. Or the old pirate fantasy.”

“The old pirate fantasy?” George asked. “You mean Johnny Depp in eye makeup?”

“Orlando Bloom, maybe,” Kim said. “You know. The incredibly dashing, utterly masculine pirate captures the ship and takes the prim maiden captive—and ravages her, and she loves every moment of it, even as she's protesting the loss of her virtue.”

“So that's your fantasy, is it, girlfriend?” Marielle teased.

“Actually, it was more vampires for me, until I met Ty and found out that live guys are way sexier. Well, I'd bet that Cassandra, even if she wouldn't acknowledge she was a sub, had some fantasies that involved being dominated by a sexy, powerful guy. Neville brings those fantasies to life, which is the only way she'll ever have true sexual satisfaction, and she knows she'll be safe.”

“Safe?” George said. “I know they say safe, sane, and consensual, but he's hitting her, causing her pain.”

“Yeah, but she needs pain to get intense orgasms,” Marielle said, “and if it goes too far, she can stop him with one word.” She turned to Kim. “I hear you. I can see lots of women buying into that fantasy.”

“There's another one as well,” Kim said. “I see this with some of the girls at art school.”

“What's that?” Lily asked.

“The old-fashioned one of having a man cherish you, take total care of you, and look after your every need. He not only provides fantastic orgasms, but you don't have to work. You can travel, study, pursue a hobby, not have to worry about earning money. You can paint, cook, garden. Ride horses.” Her dark eyes twinkled, the city girl who now lived on a ranch. “He'll buy you a fantastic oceanfront house, a villa in France, a Ferrari. A yacht, with a crew, a chef, a gardener. A pool boy. Every yacht needs a pool boy, right?”

They all laughed, and then George said, “That's like those old Harlequin romances my mom read as a girl. Where the poor little nurse or secretary met the rich, powerful, handsome brain surgeon or CEO, and he rescued her from her mundane life. And all she had to do was be pretty and sweet and say yes to his every whim. Girls really still think that way?”

“Pool boy on your yacht,” Marielle teased.

George chuckled. “All right, there's a certain appeal. But seriously, you'd never go for that. Right?”

“Nah,” the brunette said. “None of us would, would we?” She lifted her cocktail glass in a mock toast. “We're a bunch of tough, independent broads.” At the moment, she looked the opposite of tough, with her melted chocolate eyes, wavy dark hair, pink and orange top, and creamy girly drink. Yet Lily knew Marielle prided herself on not needing any man.

While the other three laughed, Lily forced a smile. Oh yes, she was independent and trying hard to be tough. What choice did she have?

“But, hmm,” Marielle went on. “I haven't read those old books, George, but there's another interesting point in
Bound by Desire
, and it's way more obvious in the other BDSM book I read. It makes me think of that old movie
Pretty Woman
. You've all seen it? With Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, when they were young?”

“Love that movie,” Kim said.

“I do too,” George put in.

“Haven't seen it,” Lily said. If she had spare time, it generally went to reading.

“Okay, long story short,” Marielle said. “She's a hooker with a heart of gold. He's a rich businessman who does business takeovers, and has no heart at all. He says to her at the beginning that they both screw people for money.”

“Oh, charming,” Lily said.

“It is!” Kim protested. “You have to see it.”

“He buys her services,” Marielle went on, “and as they hang out together, they fall for each other. They break up, but he realizes how he really feels about her and comes to get her and—”

“In this big limo, and he even scales a fire escape to win her, when he's afraid of heights,” Kim put in. “And it's like this girlish fantasy she told him about once, the white knight rescuing the princess in the tower.”

“Let me guess,” Lily said. “She doesn't have to be a ‘working girl' anymore, and he'll buy her houses and yachts with pool boys.”

“No,” George said. “She'll go to school and get a good job, because him rescuing her isn't about giving her some ritzy life, it's about teaching her to value herself.”

“Exactly,” Marielle said. “He says, referring back to the fantasy, I think, ‘What happens after he rescues her?' And she says, ‘She rescues him right back.' And it's true. Because he'd never known love, and thanks to her he's discovered he has a heart.”

“Exactly,” Kim said. “He's this super-big catch—rich and successful and, hello, he looks like Richard Gere when he was young—and our heroine's the one woman in the world who wins his heart.”

That was how Lily had felt when Dax, every girl's favorite sexy bad boy, had chosen her. “All right,” she said slowly, “I'm starting to understand. Two flawed people meet and, through knowing and caring for each other, they both become stronger in the area in which they were weakest.” And how interesting that Marielle, who steered clear of romantic relationships, would love a movie with that theme.

“Very analytical, Doc Lily,” Marielle teased.

“But,” Lily said, “I'm not convinced that's what happened in
Bound by Desire
.”

“Maybe because it's an erotic novel,” George said. “It's about Cassandra's sexual journey. I think that thing you just said, Lily, is more the theme of a romance.”

Kim nodded. “It's what happened with me and Ty. We both helped each other find the strength to deal with our personal shit.”

Lily'd thought she and Dax had been starting to do that too. “You both became stronger, but that's not what happened in the book. Cassandra discovered her sexual nature and found her perfect sex partner, but as a person she became weaker. She's giving up her job, her independence.” She swallowed the last of martini number two. “A woman has to have a life of her own. Relationships end, so that's what she'll be left with.” She stabbed at the barely tasted samosa on her plate.

No one spoke for a long moment. Then George said cautiously, “Not all relationships end.”

“But they might.” Lily frowned at her. “I know you and Kim are in love with your guys and you think it's going to last forever, but promise you won't give up your own lives.”

George glanced at Kim. “Kim's launching UmbrellaWings and I've been talking to a couple of colleagues about starting our own marketing firm. We're not giving up our lives.”

“Girls,” Marielle said, “there's more to life than work.”

“Sure,” Kim said. “Family, hobbies, friends. Book club. Neither of us is giving up any of that.” She turned to Lily. “We're okay. You don't have to play mother hen, all worried about your chicks.”

Mother hen? Would Lily ever have the opportunity to mother her own children? And what was wrong with Dax—or with her—that he didn't want to do that with her?