Bound to the Past (Starville Series Book 1) (23 page)

Sara gave a hopeless glance around, almost wishing he would suddenly materialize in front of her, but she knew he wouldnʼt. He’d been so frustrated and upset when he’d left a few hours before. Was he all right? It was four in the morning. He couldnʼt still be walking around…. On a whim, she rushed outside to see if his Harley was still parked in the driveway—but the sight in front of her melted her fears away like snow in the sun: Jack was on the front porch, deeply asleep on the swing. He was all right.

He was home.

With a sigh of relief, Sara leaned over him and brushed his arm. “Jack.”

He eyes snapped open. They were bleary and hazy when they fixed upon her, as if trying to focus. He blinked a few times before darting a look around.

“I didnʼt mean to wake you up, but itʼs about to storm,” Sara apologized with a smile as a clap of thunder rolled in the distance.

Jack moved his gaze back to her and stared at her for another long moment, still looking a little disoriented. Finally, he returned her smile and stretched out with a yawn. “What time is it?”

“Four in the morning. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. “I must have fallen asleep without realizing it.”

“How long have you been here?”

“I have no idea, I donʼt have a watch. Hell, I donʼt even remember coming home! All I know is that I was walking, then suddenly everything turned into a blur. Those damn pills must have knocked me out.” He sat up and made room for her on the swing. “How ʼbout you? What are you doing up?”

“Iʼm not sure. I woke up and decided to get some milk, but― Well, I didnʼt see you in the living room, so I came outside to see if your bike was still in the driveway,” she admitted, feeling completely ridiculous.

Jack didnʼt comment but let out a deep sigh. “Iʼm sorry about what happened at the fair.”

“Donʼt think about it. I told you, it was just a misunderstanding.”

“I shouldnʼt have reacted that way. I lost control. Damn, I nearly broke that guyʼs arm!” He pushed a hand through his hair. “Sometimes I wonder…”

Sara frowned. The gravity in his expression when he turned his head and looked at her made her heart drop. “What?”

“I wonder if it might be true. If I might have really killed J.T. in a burst of rage.”

For a few moments, all she could do was gape at him in disbelief. Then she shook her head hard. “Jack, listen to me, you didnʼt kill anybody. You simply lost control last night, the same way I did when Charlene said those horrible things to you. That doesnʼt make you a murderer any more than it does me. Itʼs only human to want to protect the people we lo— care for,” she amended.

He gave her a long, penetrating look. “I want to be a better man, Sara,” he said in a whisper. “For you.”

Her heart melted. “I canʼt think of a better man than you, Jack.”

He looked away so abruptly that she wondered if she might have pushed a little too much. “Tell you what, itʼs still early. How ʼbout we go to bed and try to get some sleep?” she suggested, trying to sound casual.

Jack stroked Lance, who was sitting at his feet, then stood with a faint smile. “Why not?”

Sara followed him inside and locked the door behind them. He slid a hand into his shirt and removed the small gun from his waistband.
Crap
. Had he been wearing that thing the whole night? She hadnʼt noticed. “I-Iʼll see you later,” she stuttered as he placed the gun in the drawer and shut it. He nodded.

Still reluctant to move, she watched him walk to the bathroom until he disappeared. Only then did she force herself up the stairs with a sigh, followed by Lance. Her heart seemed to be overflowing with emotions. She didnʼt even know what exactly she was feeling, or why. All she knew was that the restlessness sheʼd felt earlier was back and she had no idea how to get rid of it.

Apparently Lance was feeling just as agitated, because he scratched the bedroom door as soon as she closed it behind them. She opened it to let him back out and stepped with him into the hallway. A gasp rose to her lips and choked there.

“Jack! What are you doing up here?” She stared at him in surprise. It was still dark outside, but she could see him well enough in the moonlight.

“I donʼt suppose I can say I was looking for the bathroom?” he tried to joke, but his eyes remained serious. Sara could sense the tension in his body, and it made her extremely nervous.

“Iʼm afraid not,” she said with an uncertain smile. “And you shouldnʼt have come up the stairs with your knee like that, anyway.”

Jack rolled his eyes and grabbed her waist with both hands. “Sara.”

Her heart slammed madly against her ribs. Good God, he was barely touching her, and already his nearness was causing havoc to her system. He was still wearing the same clothes from the night before, but his shirt was unbuttoned now, letting her peek at his chest, rising and falling as he breathed heavily. Mesmerized by that rhythmic movement, she found herself twisting her hands together to keep from touching it. She tilted her head back, locking her eyes with his. “Do you…need something?”

Jack brushed a strand of her hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear, his hand lingering at the base of her neck. He leaned over so close that their lips almost touched. “I realized I never answered the question you asked at the fair.”

Sara took a shaky breath, struggling to hold his intense gaze. “True.”
He leaned over so close that their lips almost touched. “My answer is yes, sweetheart.” His voice was so deep, the desire in his eyes so urgent, that a shudder passed through her whole body as he pressed against her, deliberately backing her up against the wall. “Yes, I want you.” He rocked his hips against hers, so that there would be no mistaking his intentions. “Iʼm dying to have you.”

Oh, God
.

Sara swallowed hard as he flattened both hands beside her head, caging her between the wall and his solid body. She had no way out now.

“If you want me to go, say it now,” he whispered, as though reading her mind.

Her brain scrambled for possibilities, trying to hold on to the last remnants of reason clinging in it. She could still change her mind and choose caution over bravery. She could still turn around and go back to her room by herself—back to her peaceful, uneventful life. Or she could let herself go. She could give herself to him, surrender to the heated promise in his unwavering, burning gaze, and…
Aw, hell!

Sara slid her shaky hands up his chest, relishing the feeling of his heat under her palms. He didnʼt move, but she felt his breath hitch and his muscles tighten under her light touch.

“I donʼt want you to go,” she murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his chest. He hesitated still.

“Nothing will change after tonight, Sara. If we do this, I canʼt make any promises. No commitment, no strings. No regrets.”

“I know. I donʼt care.”

Jack tipped her chin back up, his eyes searing into hers. “Are you sure?”

“Never been so sure in my life.”

He rewarded her with that slow grin she loved so much just before he crushed his mouth down to hers. Blood surged through her veins, and she melted into his hard body as the world swam around and reality stopped making sense. When he broke the kiss, her arms instinctively tightened around his waist, as if she were afraid heʼd pull away. But he didnʼt. Instead, he moved his mouth to her jawline and kissed a wet path down to her throat, the sensitive spot behind her ear. Then in one deft movement, he scooped her up into his arms.

She burst out laughing. “Jack, your knee!”

“To hell with my knee.”

He carried her to the bedroom and laid her down softly on the bed. He hesitated a split second before joining her—a second that made Saraʼs heart nearly shoot out of her chest. She swore she was going to jump his bones if he changed his mind again now! A sigh of relief escaped from her when he finally took a step forward, and she felt the mattress dipping under his weight.

Thunder roared outside, and rain started slapping against the window, but Sara hardly heard anything as he stretched beside her. Nothing existed to her but Jack. The intoxicating scent of his skin, the exquisite heat of his body, the burning desire in his hypnotic green eyes, the electrifying way he made her tremble with the slightest touch of his hands…and she wanted it all. God, she wanted him so much she could hardly breathe.

He threaded his fingers through her hair. “Do you have any idea how many times Iʼve fantasized about being in this bed with you?”

“As many as Iʼve fantasized about having you in it, I would hope.”

“Well, you have me now, Ms. Milano. What are you going to do with me?”

Her heart flipped. “Um, everything I want?”

“Sounds like a good start to me,” Jack said, running his thumb across her bottom lip. Instead of kissing her as she half expected him to, he rolled to his side with a deep breath. “I…donʼt have anything with me.”

Her breath caught as she realized what he meant. “Itʼs okay. Iʼm on the pill.”

“You are?” His hand stopped in midair on its way to cupping her cheek.

“Yes. I take it to regulate my cycle, not because I, uh, sleep around or anything,” she hurried to specify, noticing his frown.

Jack pulled her closer, smiling at her embarrassed explanation—and because he did feel insanely happy to hear her say that. More than he cared to admit. “Iʼm clean,” he blurted. “Doc gave me a full physical when I was in the hospital.”

She nodded, blushing. “Good.”

“Yes, it is. I can feel you much better without anything between us.” His voice became even lower as he bent his head down and murmured into her ear, “And I do want to feel you completely, sweetheart. Iʼm dying to be inside you.”

Oh, the way he said it!
Saraʼs insides all but melted. Looping a hand around his neck, she pulled his head down and pressed her lips into his. Heat spiraled low in her belly when he wrapped both hands around her waist, pulling her hips up to his, and she felt his erection pressing against the seam of his jeans. She rubbed against it, reveling in the way Jack groaned and sank deeper into her mouth.

Impatient to touch more of him, she slipped her hands to his chest and slid his shirt over his arms. He yanked it off just as impatiently, throwing it carelessly behind him, and she broke the kiss to stare at the chest that sheʼd dreamed of for so long. Gosh, Jack was so perfect! Hard and muscular, from his broad shoulders to his strong arms, to the thick muscles of his abdomen. He was all male. And, at least for tonight, he was hers. Her heart thundered, as she moved her eyes farther down.

Jack followed her gaze with a smirk and shook his head. “Your turn.”

Slowly, he pulled her T-shirt up and over her head. Sara shuddered at the sensation of his fingers against her bare skin but couldnʼt help dropping her eyes as the shirt fell to the floor. The thought of all the gorgeous women Jack must have made love with in the past hit her like a splash of cold water.

“Youʼre beautiful,” he whispered, as if reading her thoughts.

Sara shook her head to object to the obvious lie, but as she lifted her gaze to look at him, the intense desire blazing in his eyes choked her protests in her throat. “Youʼve had better,” she tried to joke.

“Youʼre perfect, love.” He brushed her lips briefly with his. Slid his mouth slowly down her throat. “Perfect for me.”

Her pulse took a wild kick. Heʼd call her…
love?
The little niggling voice inside her ordered her to rein in her imagination and not give too much meaning to his words. Men said things like that during lovemaking. Yet that didnʼt stop her from hoping, from dreaming, at least for one special night, that Jack could really love her, that they could have a future together.

Sara barely finished that thought. As soon as Jack started kissing a hot trail toward her breast, she forgot anything that wasnʼt his mouth on her skin, the sizzling swirl of his tongue around her nipple that drove spikes of wet heat between her legs. With a moan, she threaded her fingers through his hair and arched into him.
More
. She wanted way more.

When Jack pulled away from her to unbutton his jeans, she stopped him and moved his hands aside, replacing them with her own. “Let me.”

He swallowed thickly but raised his arms. “Iʼm all yours, babe.”

Drawing a sharp breath, she closed her fingers over his zipper and slowly inched it down―loving the way his eyes snapped closed and the strangled groan he let out as her knuckles brushed against his hardness. “Sweetheart, keep doing this and weʼll be done before we get started.”

She didnʼt even try to return his smile as he caught her hands and raised them to his lips. An instant later, he stripped off his jeans and yanked them away, standing in front of her wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs that left very little to the imagination. Her eyes flew wide. An involuntary shiver ran down her spine—and this time it was
not
a pleasant one.

Jack frowned, disoriented by the sudden change in her expression. A second ago, Sara had been staring at him with smoldering desire in her eyes, and now she was barely glancing at him, looking…
disgusted
? He shook his head, trying to shake off the strange, unfamiliar insecurity starting to claw at his gut. “Are you all right?”

She looked frantically around the room. “No, I—” Her words trailed off as she picked up the sheets and covered herself up to her chin.

His stomach twisted and burned as if it had been punched all over again. “Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, itʼs not your fault. Sorry, Iʼm the problem here.”

Jack cautiously sat down beside her on the edge of the bed and smoothed her hair back from her face. A sigh escaped from him as she flinched away. “Sweetheart, whatʼs wrong?”

She bit her lips. “Iʼm not sure this is a good idea after all.”

“May I ask why?”

An awkward silence followed his words as she scrambled for an answer. A muscle pulsed in his tightened jaw. Suddenly, Jack sprang up from the bed and walked to the window. “Itʼs because of my past, isnʼt it?”