“
Yes, but honey, we’re not going to make anything off the house. I’ll probably still end up owing on it after it sells. Dad took out a second mortgage to cover his expenses.”
“
That’s what I mean,” Bri said. “If it’s half mine, then it’s half my responsibility.”
“
No, it’s not. Legally, the house is mine because you were only fourteen when Dad wrote the will. So, just let me worry about the house, and Ethan. Stop being so stubborn. You’re acting just like….”
Bri glared at her. “I hate Dad for this,” she said in a low voice.
“
Don’t say that. He did his best. We’ll all be okay.”
“
Fine,” Bri said, stomping toward the door. “Fine. I don’t care anymore! Do whatever you want.
I hate this
! And make Sam Strickland pay or I will!”
Jenna lay back and tried to sleep, but was now more upset than before. She slid out of bed and crossed the hallway into the nursery to look at her son, desperate to stop the cascading emotions, and knowing just the sight of him would help.
He was sound asleep on his stomach. A soft, sweet little body dressed in a diaper and dark green T-shirt, golden curls fluttering over his mouth with each exhale. Her arms felt so empty without him, the night seemed so long and ominous.
She thought for only a moment then crawled into bed with him, careful not to wake him, and pulled him close.
Strange how another heartbeat, no matter how small, could make life seem safe again. The rhythm of his breathing was an enormous comfort.
Beyond the door, she heard Bri calling for her before leaning her head in the room. “Jenna!” she hissed. “He’s here.”
Jenna propped herself up on her arm. “Who is?”
“
He
is!
Him
.
Sam
.”
“
Sam?”
“
Yes! He’s in the living room.”
Brianna’s excitement had the opposite effect on Jenna. She carefully slid her arm from under Ethan and climbed out of bed. “Okay, don’t freak out, I’m coming. Don’t wake the baby.”
“
Sorry,” her sister whispered, still bobbing in the doorway. “What should I do?”
“
Nothing. What time is it?”
“
Almost midnight.”
“
What a time to drop by.” Jenna headed across the hall to her bedroom and hopped into the pair of jeans she’d left on the bench in front of her bed, frowning at her sister. “Why didn’t I hear him ring the bell?”
Brianna laughed, habitually covering her mouth after years of wearing braces, even though her teeth were straight now. “He knocked. I peeked out and thought he was a psycho murderer.”
Jenna aimed for her closet. “Then why didn’t you come get me instead of answering the door?”
Brianna bobbed her head to the right. “I recognized him. I’m not blind. I told him he’d better pay child support.”
Jenna fought with a hanger to get a shirt out of the closet. “You did not.”
Bri followed Jenna into the bathroom where she rushed to freshen up. “Okay, I didn’t,” Bri said, “but I wanted to.”
Jenna tried to remain calm but her bouncing sister made it hard. The closer she moved toward Sam the more her sister seemed like an annoying fly buzzing around her head.
At the bottom of the stairs, she turned to stop Brianna from tagging along. She didn’t need her energetic sister standing there while she confronted the estranged father of her child. “Go to bed. I can handle this.”
Brianna’s face fell flat. “Oh, right, I get it. Privacy.” She jogged back up the stairs and Jenna turned into the lighted living room.
Sam wasn’t there. The room was empty. She’d had such a strong image of him standing at the mantel that she stood stunned for a moment. Then she wondered if Brianna might have imagined him. Annoyed, she turned on the light in the den, found it empty, then went to the front door and looked out. By the porch light, she saw a big green pickup parked in the circular drive. She remembered a red truck, but he’d likely bought a new one in the past three years.
It had to be Sam’s.
Her heart began to pound again as she turned around and closed the door. He was in the house, somewhere. She could feel him. Straight ahead, she heard a sound and saw Sam Strickland strolling out of the kitchen, making the hallway seem cramped by his size. Not only with his size, but also his presence, which Jenna found almost overwhelming as his energy rolled toward her and passed over her body like a billowing cloud of hot steam.
When he came near every muscle in her body seemed to vibrate.
“
I was just washing my hands,” he said. “Sorry it’s so late. I didn’t even think about everybody being in bed.”
She glanced at the bathroom door he had passed by to wash his hands in the kitchen, and immediately wondered if he’d been looking for Ethan. Perhaps thinking he could sneak out the back door with a sleeping babe in his arms.
She blocked the front stairs with her body, trying not to jump to conclusions. Regardless of his motives for this visit, he wasn’t going to get off easy. “I didn’t expect to see you again, the way you ran off. At least not for another three years.”
He glanced into the living room and then faced her. He crossed his arms, then unfolded them in the same motion and tucked his fingers into the front pockets of his jeans. “Sorry I ran out before, but…. I had to come back. We’ve got some pretty serious things to talk about.”
She nodded, knowing they did. No turning back now – now that she’d hurled the truth at him like a bucket of ice water. “Do you want something to drink?”
“
Yeah, maybe something. My throat’s dry.”
“
Mine, too,” she said in a whisper. In fact, she could barely swallow. He followed her to the kitchen where she filled two glasses with ice and sweet tea leftover from supper.
She could barely believe he, Sam Strickland, was in her house. In her dreams he had always been cool and confident.
In reality, he stood awkwardly by the table, and then nodded as he strode toward the back door. “Let’s step outside.”
Good idea. Fresh air and stars and the chirping of crickets and songs of late night birds for company – much better than the confines of the kitchen.
The world seemed strange with Sam sitting on her back porch. His presence changed the house, the yard, even the bench beneath him.
The night was warm with a fresh breeze and the scent of rain in the air. Miles away, beyond the distant hills, the sky occasionally glowed soundlessly with lightning.
She sat on the railing where she could see him, keep a close eye on him. He took a long drink of his tea and then, with a sigh, set it on the table beside him and leaned back on the bench.
“
You’ve changed,” he said, breaking through the silence.
“
Have I?”
“
When I first got here I thought it was you answering the door instead of your sister. She looks like you.”
“
It’s been almost three years.”
“
Hard to believe, huh,” he said.
“
It felt much longer.”
“
So it’s real, not some joke?”
In the darkness, she couldn’t see his eyes, and was grateful. “No, it’s certainly no joke.”
“
So he’s really mine – the kid I saw?”
“
No, he’s mine.”
“
You know what I mean.” An edge came into his tone. “I need to know the truth.”
“
I didn’t lie. And I’m not mistaken. There was no one else so don’t even ask.” There had never been anyone else, and likely never would be again.
“
Not even that Stewart guy I saw you riding in a Porsche with?”
“
Especially not him. I told you that before.”
Sam let out a soft chuckle. “Wow, I just can’t believe it. How old is he?”
“
He just turned two last month.”
“
When’s his birthday?”
“
May seventh.” He’d been born nine months to the day of his conception.
“
Wow,” Sam said. “What’s his name again?”
It bothered her that he didn’t remember his son’s name. Even though he hadn’t known when they’d met he had a son. “Ethan.”
“
Ethan. That’s okay, I guess. Ethan what? What’s his middle name?”
She hesitated, wishing she hadn’t felt so sentimental and forgiving when she’d named her son. “Ethan Samuel.”
Sam was silent for a little while, and for the first time she wished she could see his eyes. Was he offended? So touched he couldn’t speak? At last, he found his voice. “Why’d you name him Samuel?”
He was offended, obviously, and now planned to torture her. “Why do you think? After you.”
He startled her by laughing. Not a simple laugh, but a rumbling laugh that went on and on and ended with what sounded like tears of hilarity. “Lord…. We’ve got ourselves in one hell of a mess, huh, baby.”
“
You think his name is funny?” she demanded, now the offended one.
“
Well, yeah,” he said, “since that’s not my name.”
“
Sam is short for Samuel.”
“
Usually,” he said, “but not in my case. My mom was probably doped-up on painkillers when she named me.”
“
So what’s your name?”
He hesitated and let out a long, soft groan. “I’ll only tell if you promise not to repeat it.”
“
Fine, whatever. What’s your name?”
He groaned again and shifted in his seat. “Samson. They started calling me Sammy when I was little so I wouldn’t get beat up. Samson Elijah. The Elijah part was from my great-granddad. Probably a cool name in 1883, less so in 1983 when I was born.”
For a moment, she couldn’t respond, and then a slow tickle of humor came over her. Samson? It was a little funny. And a little sad that she hadn’t known Ethan’s father well enough to know his real name.
“
Good grief. This just gets worse and worse,” she said with a groan. “My poor baby is doomed.”
“
No, Ethan Samuel is a good name,” he said seriously. “A good solid name. You did good. Better than my mom, for sure.”
Warmed by his compliment, a month’s worth of stress seemed to melt off her shoulders. She wanted to really talk to him, to move over beside him and pretend the past three years hadn’t happened. But she couldn’t. There wasn’t really anything between them now. The entire situation was still too uncertain.
“
I have a brother named Boone,” he said, still going on about names. “So be glad. That could have been me.”
“
He has your eyes,” she said, not sure why she felt the constant need to compare this man, a virtual stranger, to her precious son.
“
Yeah, you said that.” Suddenly his voice sounded tight and annoyed. “I can hardly remember what he looked like.”
“
Are you mad?”
“
Mad? I don’t know yet. Surprised. Shocked. And yeah, a little upset you didn’t tell me sooner. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“
I didn’t know where you were.”
You ran off, remember
?
“
You could have asked any one of my family and they would have told you. I wasn’t hard to find.”
That was true, and she had thought of that many times over the past three years, but…. “Well, honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted you to know. You got what you wanted and then you dumped me the next day. By the time he was born you and I had no relationship. I wasn’t sure…. I was scared. I realized I never really knew you. I wasn’t sure if I could trust you. My dad kept saying….” She stopped and took a deep breath before her babbling got out of control. “I didn’t know what to do.”
He let out a long breath. “I sat in my truck for about an hour that day after I called you, trying to decide what to do. I was afraid you’d give up law school to follow me. I probably would have taken you if you’d wanted to come and then you’d have resented me for the rest of your life for costing you your education and career. You had that plan. You were always talking about your plan. The law degree, the city, and so on. So, I finally started the truck and drove off.”
Jenna was amazed he’d thought of her at all before he’d left. “Why did it have to be one way? Me going with you? Why couldn’t you have stayed with me?”
“
My granddad was having problems,” he said, weakly. “Somebody had to run the ranch.”
“
But why you? You have brothers, right?”
“
I was the only one free. Jack has three businesses to run and the others are all married with kids and couldn’t pull up stakes. I had to go because…. Your dad said a broken heart was better than a shattered life. And he was right. You weren’t ready. You had things left to do.”
“
You talked to my dad? He never said anything.” She’d known how afraid her father had been of her getting too involved with Sam, or anyone, and ruining her life. He’d said that to her, too, that a broken heart was better than a shattered life. He must have gone to Sam and made the decision for her.