“Do we have to come here every day?” Hattie
groaned as we spied Mr. Montgomery greeting his wife on her return
and then watched them stroll inside together.
We climbed down from the tree and began our
walk home through the woods.
“Would you rather be at school?”
“No.”
“Then what do you suggest we do all the hours
that we stay away?”
“I don’t know,” she mumbled.
“This is working just fine. And besides,
Daddy will be home soon, and then everything will be right back to
the way it was,” I stated optimistically.
“How will anything be the same? He is coming
back with a new momma for you!”
“Oh, you don’t think Daddy would really ever
marry Mrs. Norton, do you? Surely he has come to his senses by now.
And,” I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her close so I could
speak in only a whisper, “I have prayed for Daddy to come back to
us and Mammy and make her his wife.”
We were approaching Sutton Hall now, and we
stopped to watch two wagons full of new furniture being
unloaded.
There were hand-carved mahogany beds, tall
dressers, and oil paintings by the dozens being carried into the
mansion, and new lamps, rugs, boxes and more boxes that read
fragile,
which I later learned were full of delicate English
bone china. Our old but expensive velvet drapes were being pulled
down from every window and replaced with new even more elegant
ones.
Mammy was running about, though she had to
hold up her enormous belly. She was directing Hamilton and the
delivery men where to put everything, all the while appearing
completely exhausted.
“What are all these new items for, Mammy?” I
asked before heading inside.
Mammy wiped her brow with the back of her
hand as her eyes stayed glued to the men, who were expected not to
damage any of the objects.
“Your daddy had these things shipped all the
way from England,” she hastily explained and then insisted we wash
up for supper.
Hattie and I walked inside and scanned the
rooms in disbelief. Not one original piece of furniture remained.
Everything had been taken out and hauled away - everything but my
piano. I sighed with relief. I had been receiving my lessons from
Mr. Layne and doing well, he said. I was already past beginner
sheets.
“Come girls, git, git,” Cordelia insisted,
hurrying by to dust off the new lamps. “You in d’way!”
“Let’s wash up,” Hattie suggested and led me
upstairs.
“I just don’t see why we need new furniture
and lamps,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief.
“I don’t think God and you are seeing things
exactly the same,” Hattie replied flatly.
“What do you mean?”
She stopped midway down the hall to our room,
turned, and looked down at me with eyes as disturbed and teary as
her mother’s. “Your daddy and my momma never being anything other
than master and slave.”
Instantly I grew angry, angry at Hattie for
daring to say such a thing.
“That’s not true, Hattie Arrington. God will
answer my prayers, so take what you said back!” I said
adamantly.
“You need to see things for what they are
sometimes and stop living in your pretend world.”
“I do not live in a pretend world!”
“Yes, you do. You think Momma and your daddy
can get married, you write in your journal about Mr. Montgomery,
lovesick dreams about how he looks at you like he would a grown
woman. They are just silly dreams!”
“You shut your mouth, Hattie, this instant!”
I commanded. “Or I won’t allow you to share my room with me!”
“Maybe I don’t want to share your room!”
Hattie stormed away, slamming her bedroom door shut. I followed
suit and slammed my door and then I fell down onto the bed and
cried until past supper, when I refused to go down and eat.
Mammy stole in late that night to comfort
me.
“Hattie told me ’bout your fight,” she said,
and reached for my hands.
“She said some hurtful things,” I cried.
“What things did she tell you that made you
not want supper?” Mammy was tired and in obvious discomfort, her
baby due to come any day.
When I didn’t answer her, when I couldn’t
find the voice to speak of all that troubled me, Mammy leaned in to
kiss me on the cheek and pulled me into her embrace. “Hattie didn’t
mean no harm by what she said, Miss Amelia. She loves you as good
as any sista would, and I always love you as any momma would. Never
you forget that. Life ain’t always what you want it to be; it ain’t
always fair. God sees to us all, Amelia girl, in his own way, and
he don’t give us anything we can’t handle. I know I been crying,
crying for things I can’t change. But I done crying now, for I been
blessed with a child growing in me. You will understand one day.
For now, you stop frettin’ so much.”
She cradled my face in her hands, looked
deeply into my eyes, and smiled.
“You such a beautiful girl, got so much in
you that reminds me of your daddy. Hoping my baby looks just like
you.”
Mammy left me that night, left me wide awake,
wondering where we were all going in life and if God’s love was
going to lead the way.
~ ~ ~
Spring 1859
The sounds of giggles and strange laughter
brought me out of a late morning sleep. I slowly sat up and rubbed
the sleep from my tired eyes to find two young girls, standing
beside my bed - two girls whose images mirrored one another.
I looked from one to the other, trying to
place the faces, and then looked again, until they simultaneously
giggled and quickly scurried out of my room.
“Wait!” I called and slipped out of bed. “Who
are you?”
The dark-auburn-haired girls ran hand in hand
until they reached their room. Inside they went, closing the door
behind them.
“Who are you girls?” I asked, knocking on the
door.
One of the identical girls came to the door
and cracked it open just enough for me to see her large
bright-green eyes.
“Are you Amelia?”
“Yes. . . yes, I am. What is your name?”
“Violet.”
“Can’t you open the door? Won’t you allow me
in?”
Violet stepped back and let me in. The other
girl stayed hidden behind the drapes, only peering out to get a
better look at me.
“That’s my sister, Beatrice.”
“Are you twins?”
Violet was small framed, and stood as tall as
me. I had never seen anyone with as pale a complexion as mine until
I met the Norton twins. They even had tiny freckles sprinkled
across their noses, just the way I did. When I studied Violet’s
face closer, I gulped hard, for so many of her features resembled
those of her mother.
“You’re Mrs. Norton’s daughters?” I asked,
though I already knew the answer. I slowly scanned the room, noting
all the changes.
There was new wallpaper, hung with drapes
that accented the purple in the violets of the wallpaper. There
were two individual beds with matching headboards and footboards,
separated by a small night table, and two mahogany dressers sat
between the room’s two windows. Book shelves were filled with
books, and delicate tea sets, and there were two of everything.
Even the books. Each girl had her own copy of each book! It was
obvious they shared nothing, with the exception of the room and
their faces.
“We arrived late last night with Mummy and
Daddy,” Violet explained, and she reached for a pretty doll. She
then turned back to me to study my reaction. Beatrice snickered,
and both sets of eyes watched my face turn from curious and
surprised to hurt and stunned.
“Daddy? My daddy is here?” I choked.
“He’s our daddy now, not just yours. Isn’t
that right, Beatrice?”
“Yes, Violet,” the other girl answered from
behind the curtain.
“And he bought us each a doll. He let us buy
any one we wanted, and I chose this one,” she said shoving the doll
in my face. “It was the most expensive one in the store, and
possibly in all of London,” she said with a heavy English
accent.
I dashed from the room with my heart pounding
in my chest, so anxious to see Daddy. I ignored the creepy, weird
laughter from the girls and flew down the steps to the main floor.
There I stopped in my tracks as I unexpectedly bumped into Eugenia
Norton, right after turning into the parlor. She gathered herself
and shoved me away with a face that made no attempt to hide her
disgust.
“Watch where you are going! Don’t you know
better than to run about the mansion!” she snapped.
I tried to speak, but staring up into her
stone-cold face, I could only stammer.
“Come now,” she said, snatching my arm and
squeezing it tight enough for her long nails to dig into my skin.
“We were just about to send for you.”
As soon as we stepped into the parlor,
Eugenia released her grip and went to gently guide me in. I stepped
far from her reach and frowned at her. I turned to see Daddy
standing beside Mr. Giles.
There weren’t open, loving arms to greet me,
no warm kisses or tender words of how much he missed me, as I had
expected when Daddy came home. Instead, his face was full of
disappointment and his hands stayed stiff by his side.
The room fell silent. All I could hear was
Eugenia’s steady, even breaths and my heart pounding like a
drum.
This wasn’t the reunion I had dreamed of
every night while Daddy was away in England. Instead of my dreams
coming true, a nightmare had begun.
“Amelia, Mr. Giles has informed me of your
weeks of absence from school,” Daddy said in a stern voice I didn’t
easily recognize. Though his voice boomed, I swore I saw a hint of
compassion in his eyes.
From behind me, Eugenia mumbled something
under her breath and nudged me forward. I gazed at Mr. Giles and
shuddered when he only glared back.
Panic began to set in, and as they all stood
waiting to pounce on me, I contemplated running. But Eugenia was
standing right behind me, blocking any escape I might attempt. Then
where would I go, after all? There was no way out of my
predicament.
“I am waiting for an explanation,” Daddy
said, with his arms folded over his broad chest and his head tilted
down at me. “Is it true that you have played hooky from school for
all the time I was away, as your teacher has enlightened me?”
Giggles flowed down from the top of the grand
staircase, causing a brief distraction. It was then that I decided
to run. I bolted passed Eugenia, who tried to grab hold of me but
just missed my collar, only barely scratching my neck. I ran past
Cordelia, who tried to hold onto the tray of filled teacups, but it
all fell crashing to the floor.
“Amelia!” Daddy called after me.
I was outside and running toward the cabins
when Hamilton appeared. The fright in his eyes stopped me, and I
watched as he hurried past and went straight inside. Hamilton
always stopped to say hello with a smile or a hand gesture. Never
once had he walked right by me.
Putting my own ill-fated circumstances aside,
I headed back to the mansion, but stayed on the gallery, just
outside the parlor windows.
Anyone listening hard enough when the wind
favored the direction of the mansion instead of the lazy river
could distinctly hear Mammy’s screams in the distance, through the
pain of childbirth.
I stayed in Hattie’s room and sat by the open
window that faced in the direction of the cabins, while she stayed
by her momma’s side. The moonlight reflected off Daddy’s white
hair, so even from that far distance, I could see him.
Despite Eugenia’s annoyance and utter
disapproval, Daddy stayed near the cabin all that afternoon and
into the early evening, pacing with worry.
The wind was warm, the night air dripping
with heavy moisture, making it uncomfortable to sleep or
breathe.
Sometime before midnight, I heard Eugenia
calling for me, but I stayed hidden in the darkness of Hattie’s
room and slid under the bed when she came in looking for me.
“That rotten, unpleasant child,” she mumbled
and flew out to check the other rooms.
I maintained my position by the window for
another long hour before I heard cheers replace Mammy’s final
screams, and then the faint sound of a baby’s first cry.
Mammy’s son was named Jacob Thomas, and he
came into the world with skin almost as light as any white baby.
His eyes were light green. His hair was dark and textured like
Mammy’s, but otherwise, much to Mammy’s delight and Eugenia’s
disgust, Jacob Thomas was the image of an Arrington.
Daddy came to see me that next morning with a
happy glow that replaced the disapproving one of many hours ago. I
was relieved when he took me into his arms and showered me with
warm kisses.
“I have missed my family more than you
realize, my sweet Amelia,” he whispered as he held me tight. “Today
is a fine day. I shall never take such a day for granted
again.”
“I missed you terribly.”
“I don’t ever plan to you leave again. I have
a great purpose here. Not only for the plantation, but for you. I
hope you can forgive me for being gone so long and understand that
I have only your best interest at heart.
“I know you are not fond of your new mummy,
but I think in time you will learn to love her. And you have
sisters now. They play piano and collect dolls, just like you.”
“Hattie is my sister. I don’t need any more
sisters,” I stated firmly.
“Eugenia has hired a private teacher to come
to Sutton Hall, so we can put all the schooling issues behind us. I
told Mr. Giles you won’t be returning. Your governess, Mlle. Duval,
will be arriving by the end of the month. She has been with the
Norton family since Violet and Beatrice were born. Today is a brand
new day, for all of us. We are a new family and will make so many
new wonderful memories. You finally have a real family, Amelia.
Tell me you’re happy,” he cried, his eyes brimming with tears of
happiness. “Tell me you’re as happy as I am.”