I nodded to appease Daddy and fell into his
arms.
“I love you so much, darling girl. So very
much.”
I clung to him while debating whether to ask
him about Jacob Thomas. Could I tell anyone he was my half brother?
Daddy seemed so proud to have a son and paradoxically, content to
have his child growing up with the slaves, instead of under his
roof with the family. Shouldn’t Mammy have the privilege of staying
in our home, since she was the woman who gave him a son, after all,
I wondered.
I took a breath and gazed up at Daddy, who
had a faraway look in his eyes.
“He is my brother?”
Daddy’s smiled. “Yes, he is.” Then his smile
faded and his expression grew serious. “However, you mustn’t speak
of Jacob Thomas in the presence of your new mummy. The birth of my
son makes her unhappy. You do understand what I am saying, don’t
you?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good, very good. Now,” he said, jumped up
and clapped his hands together. “Mr. Niles Montgomery, his son, and
their wives are coming for a celebration supper tonight. Your mummy
brought you back a few lovely dresses from the finest boutiques in
Europe. You will wear one of them tonight. Perhaps that emerald
green one there,” he said, pointing to the open armoire. “That
dress is my favorite. I think you will look especially stunning in
it.”
“Are they coming to celebrate the new
baby?”
Daddy frowned. “No, darling. They are coming
to celebrate my new marriage to Eugenia. Remember Amelia, no talk
of Jacob Thomas. Promise me now,” he insisted as he went to
leave.
“Of course, Daddy.”
“That’s my girl, my best girl.”
“Are Violet and Beatrice your girls now too?”
I nervously asked.
Daddy gripped his hand on the doorknob and
turned back to me.
“I am their daddy as well. But they only have
a small place in my heart. The other greater part belongs to you
and Jacob Thomas. Just remember to always keep that a secret as
well.”
I was nervous and excited for our celebration
supper. I was nervous because Eugenia and her daughters were going
to be there, excited because Perry Montgomery was attending. My
mixed feelings were always filled with some sadness, for Hattie and
I had not yet made amends. So much had happened so fast that she
and I hadn’t a moment to talk. And with the arrival of my new
family, I was kept from seeing Hattie, as well as from seeing Mammy
and my baby brother.
I managed to steal away before the supper to
see him. Mammy let me hold him for a short while before I had to
return. There was so much I wanted to say; I was filled with
happiness and woe at the same time. Mammy understood, wiped away my
tears, and insisted I smile. “You have a baby brother who has your
nose and full lips. Now smile, Miss Amelia. Put your tears away,
’cause crying ain’t gonna do you no good. Don’t you worry ’bout
your mammy. I’m in good hands,” she assured me.
If Hattie were there, I would have asked for
her forgiveness. I was sorry for acting like a spoiled brat, and I
missed her terribly. But she was nowhere in sight. Most likely she
was off catching fireflies or frogs by the river with her cousins.
I wished I could be there too.
As I wandered back to the mansion, my eyes
were drawn up to the second floor where I noticed Eugenia standing
at the window to the suite she now shared with Daddy. She was
staring down at me with a cold glare that caused me to shiver. I
quickened my pace and hurried inside. Cordelia was waiting to help
me dress for supper.
“You needs to hurry, Miss Amelia. Suppa
almost ’bout to git started,” she said, and began to undress
me.
“Are they all here, Cordelia?”
“Yes ’um”
“Mr. Perry Montgomery as well?” I asked
wistfully, standing before the mirror as she assisted me with my
chemise. She laced up the corset tightly and next put on the
petticoat. After that came the crinoline. Finally, Cordelia lowered
the emerald green silk supper gown over my head. It had matching
silk ribbon and silk embroidery on the front panels of the layered,
flounced overskirt.
“He here wit his wife.”
“Hand me my gloves,” I said, as I gazed at
myself in the mirror. The dress made me look years older, and if I
didn’t know my own age, I would have guessed I was near to
sixteen.
“Sure is a pretty dress,” she mumbled, and
tied up my bonnet. “Fill it out as good as any grown woman.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Don’t be growin’ too fast, miss,” she said,
with the kind of weightiness in her tone that Mammy often
possessed.
I chuckled in amusement and hurried to join
everyone for supper. They were mingling in the parlor. Despite the
fact that my heart was racing and I felt winded, I swept gaily into
the room. All eyes fell on me. Daddy’s eyes were wide with
surprise, almost as if he’d seen a ghost. I looked toward Perry
Montgomery and felt myself blush as his dark eyes discretely
scanned me from top to bottom.
“Why daughter, you look beautiful this
evening,” Daddy’s said. Eugenia grunted and whispered something to
Violet, who stood by her side. Beatrice was seated on the settee,
wearing the same pretty rose-colored silk dress as her sister.
Their drab, deep red hair was styled to match and hung over their
lanky shoulders in long ringlets.
“Supper is served,” Abraham announced.
Daddy led the way, taking hold of my hand to
escort me in to supper. I was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t
walk in with his new wife and that he only had eyes for me. And at
his celebration supper, no less! Oh, how the dress made all the
difference. I was the center of attention, and this time not for
being disrespectful or disobedient, either.
Daddy held out my chair, and I sat to his
left, while Eugenia sat to his right, at the head of the table.
Perry Montgomery sat between Eugenia and his wife - directly across
from me.
If Hattie were to see me gazing adoringly at
Perry Montgomery, she would most certainly have been
displeased.
Perry Montgomery occasionally met my eyes,
and when he did, I cast them away bashfully. Though he was a
married man, years my senior and completely and ridiculously
unobtainable, I couldn’t help but be shamefully charmed by his very
handsome looks.
“Why, your daughter bears an uncanny
resemblance to Charlotte,” Niles Montgomery stated to Daddy.
I nearly dropped my fork on my lap. He knew
my mummy? He knew what she looked like, I thought in amazement.
“Indeed,” Daddy replied, winking at me.
Eugenia frowned at her brother, and as I glanced around the table
studying everyone’s expressions, I realized for the first time that
they all must have known my mother. Everyone except Perry
Montgomery and his wife, Myrna.
After the comment about me looking so much
like Mummy, and Eugenia’s silent rage, Daddy awkwardly but
appropriately for the occasion stood to make a toast. Raising his
glass filled with bubbly champagne, he declared, “To my new wife,
Eugenia, and her lovely daughters, Violet and Beatrice. My daughter
and I welcome you to Sutton Hall and into the Arrington family. May
we have many happy, prosperous years ahead.”
With a smile of approval, Eugenia looked up
to Daddy. The girls were beaming, the guests pleased, and only
Daddy noticed me grimace. When I raised my glass for the toast, he
chose to ignore it and carried on with supper. How rapidly my mood
could change at the mere mention of his new marriage. And as the
conversation flowed into politics, the annual Southerners’
Commercial Convention, and the push to open the African slave
trade, I grew bored and fidgety. Even having Perry Montgomery there
wasn’t enough to keep me from becoming impatient and ready for
supper to end.
Eugenia scowled across at me each time I
shifted in my seat. Finally, she couldn’t seem to stand my
unfitting decorum and said something to Daddy, which caused him to
become suddenly disgruntled with me.
Instead of calling me out and completely
embarrassing me, he gave me an uncharacteristically stern warning
look. No longer did he seem to see the image of Mummy when he
looked at me, but a little girl who was annoying and embarrassing
his wife.
I refused to look up at anyone. I went from
feeling like a beautiful woman back to being a little girl in a
matter of what seemed like an instant. And the more I sulked, the
angrier Eugenia became. She stared at me with eyes on fire until
finally she could stand my presence no more. “Amelia Arrington, you
are dismissed from the table.”
Helen came to escort me up to my room. I
couldn’t bear to look at anyone, especially Daddy. It hurt to have
him turn against me so easily.
Without a word, Helen drew the covers and
laid out my bed clothes, and then she left me for the night. As
soon as the door closed, I fell onto my bed, remembering Daddy’s
unhappiness, Eugenia’s wicked glare, and the sound of Violet and
Beatrice snickering as I was being scolded right in front of the
Montgomery’s.
Not long after, Eugenia stepped into my room
without first knocking. She towered above me as I lay curled up in
bed.
“How dare you be so disobedient!” she spat,
just loud enough for me to hear. It was obvious she didn’t want
Daddy to be aware of her chastising me. “Sit up,” she commanded.
“You’re a spoiled little brat. Your father has doted on you far too
long. Thomas has tried his best, no doubt, but a child as wicked as
you needs a stronger hand.”
“Daddy doesn’t think I am spoiled. You give
him those ideas,” I retorted fearfully. She heard the tremor in my
voice and smiled.
“Oh, yes, he does. You’re a child who needs
discipline, a girl who if left to her own accord will only bring
sin into this home. I see the way you look at my nephew, Perry,”
she said and slowly leaned down to me so her face was only an inch
from mine. She was so close I could count the dozens of crow’s feet
growing from her tightly squinting eyes.
“I see the lust in your eyes. Your father may
be blind to it, but I certainly am not. I am not a fool, Amelia.
Girls like you are nothing but trouble.”
“No, I’m not!” I yelled back.
“Don’t you dare speak to me in that tone,
ever!”
I shimmied back against my pillows and turned
away so she couldn’t see my fear.
“Things are going to change around here. I
have suggested to Thomas that you be educated strictly from home,
and he agrees. You will no longer attend school with the other
children, or with Violet and Beatrice. This plantation has been run
with a great lack of authority. It is appalling the way the slaves
disrespect their master. They don’t appreciate what’s given to
them. They should consider themselves lucky to have such a
magnificent plantation to work on. My father ruled his home with an
iron fist, and I see it the same way. Thomas could be much more
prosperous if he had more backbone. That is what I am here for. I
may not have youth on my side, or the timeless beauty most men
gravitate to. But your father is a smart man and can see beyond the
heaving bosom of a loose woman. He wants to make his plantation the
richest in all the South, despite the talk of the northerners’
attempting to abolish slavery. That will never happen; it’s such a
ridiculous suggestion. Neither I nor your father will allow
anything or anyone to stand in the way of our success.”
It was Hattie, my better half, the one who
always managed to ease my fears, whom I longed to see right away.
Into the shadows of the night I stole, down the back stairway and
to the tiny humble cabin she shared with Mammy and Jacob
Thomas.
~ ~ ~
All was still as I found myself wandering
outside, under the light of the full blue moon, over to the cabins.
The plantation was asleep, the slaves all tucked inside and resting
as comfortably as possible in their stuffy rooms for the grueling
day ahead in the cotton fields.
In the distance, the river frogs croaked, and
all around me the crickets’ night symphony filled my ears. Beyond
the moon, the stars twinkled brilliantly, and I stood for a moment
gazing upward, wondering if the stars twinkled in heaven or if it
was always sunny and bright, immersed in an extraordinary, golden,
heavenly light.
Mammy’s cabin was the only one illuminated
with the glow of a lamp, and in my bare feet, I gravitated to the
front stoop. I stole over quietly and peered through the small
window before knocking. I was glad I did, for Daddy was there with
Mammy.
I saw that Hattie was asleep, and my infant
brother snuggled up in his cradle just at the foot of her bed.
My eyes were wide with inquisitiveness and my
heart was racing. Daddy was fervently kissing Mammy. She appeared
willing, and eager. I had heard their passionate nights before,
when she used to share Daddy’s room, but never once had I actually
seen it.
After spying most definitely too long, I
turned to go, and as I spun around, I gasped with fright. Hamilton
stood only steps away, and if there had been no moon I would not
have seen him.
Just then the door to the cabin opened, and
Daddy stepped out.
“Amelia!” Daddy looked at me with surprise
and then at Hamilton, and he quickly closed the door.
I had never seen Daddy so embarrassed,
awkward, and at a loss for words. It wasn’t any better that
Hamilton, even if he had wanted to speak, couldn’t.
“I came to see Hattie,” I choked, through my
tight voice. “I didn’t realize. . .”
“Go back to bed,” Daddy said gruffly. “And
you there, what are you doing staring at me!” Daddy barked over to
Hamilton.
“He can’t talk,” I quickly explained.
Mammy had heard the commotion and after
hastily dressing came out to see what was the matter. When she saw
me standing there, she sighed heavily.