Authors: Juliana Stone
air and started to chug. There were a few more guys from the
BoysLikeYou.indd 77
11/19/13 10:02 AM
Juliana Ston e
football team gathered around, and though they seemed happy
to see me, none of them came over. I was used to that these days.
No one seemed to know what to say.
Though I caught a few looks that landed on Monroe and
didn’t leave. Bill Ferris gave a long, low wolf whistle which
Monroe ignored.
We reached the fire, and Monroe tugged her hand from
mine. It was the right call. I mean, already a couple of girls who ran in Rachel’s crowd were staring her down, but still, it felt
good holding her hand.
She
felt good. Steady. Real.
And that was pretty screwed up, considering I didn’t think she
liked me all that much, and technically, I still had a girlfriend.
I decided not to think about it too much. I decided that
tonight I was gonna push all the crap out of my head and maybe
have a good time. Or at least try to.
I’d been closed off from everyone for so long that it felt weird
to see some of the old crowd hanging out near the fire, including Brent, the bassist in my band.
I thought he’d gone up to the cottage with Link and Rachel
and the others, so it was a surprise to see him here.
He was shirtless, with his beige cargos hung so low I hoped
he’d at least taken the time to pull on a pair of boxers. You see, Brent had a trigger. An old Def Leppard song, “Foolin’,” that
was his dad’s favorite song, and whenever he heard it, if he was
drunk enough, off came his clothes.
78
BoysLikeYou.indd 78
11/19/13 10:02 AM
BOYS LIKE YOU
The girls didn’t seem to mind too much, and us guys just
thought he was crazy as shit. Brent was also one hell of a wide
receiver and, as quarterback, my go- to when we played. He had
nimble fingers for catching my passes and made the bass sound
melodic in a way that not many players could.
His face made me thinks of things I wanted to forget, but I
couldn’t lie.
It was good to see him.
“Dude,” he said with a slow grin, grabbing my shoulders
tightly as he shook me. “Where you been hiding yourself?”
We hadn’t jammed once since the accident. Hell, I hadn’t
picked up my guitar since our last gig. And it wasn’t that we
couldn’t or didn’t want to. It’s just…without Trevor, the band
was dead. It was like the soul, the groove, and the life were gone, sleeping beside him in that hospital bed.
“I’ve been working for my uncle.”
“Every damn day? That sucks.”
For a moment, his bright blue eyes shadowed and he stood
back, rubbing the day- old stubble along his jaw. It wasn’t stubble so much as peach fuzz, and it was something I used to razz him
about a lot.
Except I didn’t feel much like razzing.
“You seen Trev?” he asked carefully.
I nodded but didn’t elaborate. I wasn’t about to tell him
that Mike Lewis had just threatened to kick my ass all over the
hospital. It was a small town. I’m sure he’d hear it soon enough.
79
BoysLikeYou.indd 79
11/19/13 10:02 AM
Juliana Ston e
“I stopped in a few weeks back but he just…” Brent’s voice
was subdued.
A heartbeat passed. Then another.
“Yeah, I know.”
Brent’s eyes quickly slid from me to Monroe and the moment
passed. He winked at her. “New blood? What’s your name, gorgeous?”
“Monroe,” she answered.
Brent’s grin widened even more and he bent over at the waist.
“Nice to meet you, Monroe. Y’all don’t sound like you’re from
around here.”
“I’m not.”
“So where’re you from, sugar?” His eyes moved over her
from head to toe, and something inside me tightened. I nearly
stepped forward but caught myself in time. I wanted to shove
him the hell away from her, and that was wrong. Monroe didn’t
belong to me. Shit, I barely knew the girl.
“I’m from New York City, and my name’s not Sugar.”
He snorted. “Your name might not be Sugar but I bet you
taste real sweet.”
Monroe made a weird noise in the back of her throat, and I
was surprised to see a hint of a smile on her face. “That’s lame.”
“Yeah, I guess it is.” Brent chuckled, his eyes moving from
Monroe back to me, and I saw the question there. Brent was
a player. Big time. I narrowed my eyes in warning. There was
no way he was going there with this girl. Mrs. Blackwell would
have my butt in a sling.
80
BoysLikeYou.indd 80
11/19/13 10:02 AM
BOYS LIKE YOU
Brent was all about getting laid, which was pretty much the
one thing most guys I knew thought about every single day. But
him? Girls had been throwing themselves at him since he was
twelve, and the ones who fell for his lame ass lines deserved what they got.
But Monroe was different. And she didn’t know him like I did.
“So, Monroe,” Brent said carefully, cocking his head. “You
want something to drink?”
She shook her head. “I’m driving.”
“Right.” Brent looked at me. “That means you’re not.” He
grabbed a can from his back pocket and tossed it my way.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ve got a couple of guitars.”
I popped the can open and took a long swig. The beer was
lukewarm and not my favorite brand, but whatever, it was some-
thing to drink. Something to hold onto. Something to keep my
hands busy.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Monroe said carefully,
cocking her head to the side in a way that made a chunk of that
dark tangled hair fall over her face.
I took another long drink and then wiped my mouth. “I’m
not sure of anything right now.”
For a moment, I thought I saw a small smile lift the corners
of her mouth. I blinked and it was gone.
“Are you going to play for me?” she asked. Her eyes glistened,
little sparks from the fire reflected in their depths.
“Yo, Nate.”
81
BoysLikeYou.indd 81
11/19/13 10:02 AM
Juliana Ston e
The three of us turned as Chuck McDaniel strolled over with
his girlfriend, Gina. I’d seen them earlier, at the festival, and wasn’t surprised they had ended up out here. It’s not like there
was much else to do on Saturday night in Twin Oaks.
Gina’s eyes narrowed on Monroe, her glossy lips pulled tight
in a fake smile as she flexed her claws.
“Where’s Rach?” she asked, though her eyes never quite made
it to my face.
“Not here,” I answered.
“I can see that.” She snapped her gum and smiled. “And who
are you exactly?” That was for Monroe.
“No one,” Monroe answered, before tugging on my arm.
“Are you going to play for me?”
“Come on, Everets. What’s a party without some tunes?”
Brent said.
“I don’t know, man. I haven’t picked up in forever.” I took
another long swig of beer and then crushed the can before
shoving my hands into my front pockets. “I’ve probably lost my
calluses, and knowing the way you’ve got your action rigged, my
fingers will kill tomorrow.”
“Pussy,” Brent laughed. “Get your ass over here.”
He was near the fire and Monroe was two steps behind him.
For a second, my eyes rested on her perfect round ass. On the
way her hair swung down her back and how cute her feet looked
with her green toes.
She turned, ignoring all the curious stares, and looked directly
82
BoysLikeYou.indd 82
11/19/13 10:02 AM
BOYS LIKE YOU
at me. For that one moment, it felt as if she was looking into my soul and she knew how badly I wanted to play.
“I want to hear you, Nate.” Her voice was soft, so soft, like a
whisper inside my head.
“Sugar, if you sweet- talked me up like that, I’d do anything
you wanted,” Brent said with a laugh as he bent closer to
her. “Anything.”
He turned to me and held out a beat- up Epiphone. Trevor’s
beat- up Epiphone.
“He’d want you to play, man.” Gone was the laughter from
Brent’s face. “You need to play.”
I stared at the guitar for so long that my eyes blurred, and
when they began to sting, I knew this had been a bad idea. I
should never have come here.
“No,” I said, shoving my hands deeper into my pockets before
I turned away from them. “It’s not gonna happen.”
I walked back toward Monroe’s car and let the darkness slide
over me.
83
BoysLikeYou.indd 83
11/19/13 10:02 AM
BoysLikeYou.indd 84
11/19/13 10:02 AM
I dreamt about Malcolm, which was something I hadn’t done
in months.
And sure, I should have seen it coming after my hospital
visit— I didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know it would
trigger all the bad things I’d been trying to forget— but still…I wasn’t ready.
I wasn’t ready to see his wavy blond hair touching tanned
skin, or that one long piece that always fell over his eyebrow. I wasn’t ready for the freckles along the bridge of his nose, so light they appeared to be sprinkles of cinnamon. Or his long lashes
and the way they licked the tops of his cheeks when his eyes
were closed. It hurt to see his dimple, the birthmark just under
his collarbone, and the way it felt as if I was his entire world
when he looked at me.
I wasn’t ready for any of it, and that’s why I woke up with
screams in my throat, wiping sweat from my brow, my teeth
clenched so tightly I was sure I’d ground them down another layer.
BoysLikeYou.indd 85
11/19/13 10:02 AM
Juliana Ston e
The ache in my heart felt like it was crushing me from
the inside out, and for a few moments, I lay there shaking,
sobbing quietly. I stuffed my fist into my mouth because it
was late, or rather it was early in the morning, and I didn’t
want to wake Gram.
She didn’t need to see me like this. Weak and broken. I knew
she had hope. Hope that I’d come out of this summer ahead,
maybe part- way whole.
I also knew that her hope was false, but I didn’t want to
crush it.
The panic, though, was real, and I knew the drill so I counted
backward, starting at twenty. I had to do it more than once or
twice even, and when I was finally calm— when the breath didn’t
catch in my chest and the pain had eased up a bit— sunlight was
creeping into my room.
But it was hours before I left it.
• • •
We were on the porch, and I had just sat down beside Gram,
sliding my feet beneath me as I curled into the white wicker
chair. I stared down at my pink- and- white checker pajama
shorts, noticing syrup had dripped from my morning pancakes
onto the white T- shirt. I scraped it off with my finger, sucked it from the tip, and waited a few seconds to answer. Not because
86
BoysLikeYou.indd 86
11/19/13 10:02 AM
BOYS LIKE YOU
it was a trick question or anything, but because I hadn’t called
home and I didn’t particularly
want
to call home, and I knew Gram was going to make me.
I focused on the honeysuckle climbing the trellis at the side
of the house and the bees buzzing among them.
“I tried earlier but got Mom’s voicemail, so I left a message.”
The white lie slipped out and I kept my gaze on the honeysuckle.
Gram’s eyes rested on me for a few seconds, and I knew she
wasn’t fooled. “Well, if she hasn’t returned your call in a few
hours, try again. I know your mother doesn’t always check her
voicemail. You’ve been here over a week now. You need to talk
to them. They’ll worry.”
“I emailed Mom yesterday.”
“Bah,” Gram said. “That email will be the death of society as
we know it. It’s not the same, Monroe.”
“I know,” I mumbled. “I’ll call them tonight.”
The truth of it was, talking to my parents was hard. So
freaking hard. And right now, I liked not having anything hard
in my day- to- day business. I hadn’t realized how difficult it was for me to
breathe
in New York until I’d come to Louisiana.
“So,” I said, chewing on my bottom lip, “Nate told me
about Trevor.”
I didn’t volunteer that we had actually gone to the hospital— I
figured that wasn’t mine to share— but I was curious to see what
Gram would say.
She settled back in her wicker chair, sipped her tea, and said,
87
BoysLikeYou.indd 87
11/19/13 10:02 AM
Juliana Ston e
“Good, that boy needs to talk to someone. What happened that
night was an awful shame, but it’s in the past.” She glanced at
me sharply. “And the past can’t be undone but we can surely do
our best to move forward and learn from our mistakes.”
My cheeks smarted at her meaning because I knew she was
talking about me as well. I tucked a long piece of hair behind
my ear and tried to think of something else besides the pathetic
past I’d left in New York.
“Nathan’s a good boy who made a bad decision, but he’ll be
fine. He’s just hit a rough patch.”
Huh. I thought of the scene I’d witnessed the night before,
and in my mind, Nathan Everets had hit more than just a