Brain Over Binge (31 page)

Step 3:
I made a decision to use my highest human brain to exert my free will over the urges, and I took my life back.

The difference in my steps and OA's steps is self-reliance. I used my own power, my own brain, my own free will to stop binge eating, without relying on anything or anyone else to do it for me. I am not suggesting that binge eaters cut God, as they understand him, out of their recovery, because religious belief, prayer, and spirituality give many people strength in all facets of life. However, if reliance on God—or on another power outside oneself—does not enable cessation of the destructive behavior, then it is time to change perspective and take full responsibility for quitting.

There is nothing magical about making amends with other people and having a spiritual awakening that will turn off automatic urges in the brain. I believe binge eaters have to do that on their own through refusing to act on each and every urge. Redefining "Higher Power" to mean the highest human brain could lead many in OA toward a more practical solution to binge eating.

A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE

In trying to build a bridge between the traditional therapeutic approaches and my brain over binge approach, I've argued that a change in perspective is possibly all that's needed for those whom therapy fails. In its simplest terms, this change of perspective includes separating the binge eating from life's other problems, learning to view urges to binge as valueless neurological junk, and using the capacity of the highest human brain to resist them. Perhaps these three changes could make any form of therapy effective.

I think many people in therapy make the same mistake I did in thinking the therapists, therapeutic techniques, or any number of life changes or character improvements will make quitting effortless, will somehow take away the desire to binge. Who knows—maybe there is someone or something out there that can completely take away urges to binge; maybe if a binge eater continues therapy for many years, keeps talking about her problems, tries different medications, works hard on improving her self-esteem and anxiety, and deals with every possible underlying issue, the urges to binge will go away.

But why leave it to chance? Urges will assuredly go away if the binge eater stops binge eating, so why not stop it now? Since any path to recovery eventually and essentially involves a cessation of binge eating, why put it off any longer? To feel the urges to binge and not act on them is the quickest, simplest, and easiest path to a full recovery. It trains the brain to undo the habit right then and there and gradually puts a stop to the urges. It is also a foolproof protection against relapse, because if one never acts on an urge to binge, one can never relapse. If such a simple solution is available, why would anyone want to wait around for months or years for the urges to
possibly
go away? There is no reason to stop therapy if therapy is serving a useful purpose—as long as the binge eater changes her perspective surrounding the urges to binge and stops acting on them.

41
: Conclusion

Fulfilling some need ...

M
y binge eating certainly did fulfill needs, but not the complex emotional needs that my therapists spoke of. It fulfilled the needs of my survival drives; then it fulfilled my lower brain's need to maintain the very habit it started. If only someone had told me bulimia was a simple brain problem from the moment I entered therapy, I could have easily fixed it. This is now my mission—to be that someone who tells other binge eaters that a simple and quick recovery is possible, without therapy.

If you are bulimic, or if you suffer from binge eating disorder, or if you binge only occasionally, I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. You have only temporarily become a victim of your own healthy brain. If you are confused by therapy and not finding help there, I want to tell you that I believe there is a quicker and more cost-effective way to stop your behavior. I want to tell you that you can learn to view your binge eating differently—not as a symptom of underlying emotional issues, but as a symptom of something very real and concrete going on in your brain. I want to tell you that change is much easier if you dismiss the belief that you binge for deeper, more profound reasons, and instead learn how your lower brain works to keep you binge eating. I want to tell you that you have the power to take control of your actions, overcome your habit, and escape the daily torment binge eating brings.

The bottom line is: in order to recover from bulimia—or stop any other habit, for that matter—you have to
stop the behavior.
It is the simple and difficult truth. My own experience leads me to believe it is possible to quit on your own, even right now—without undergoing a major character transformation, without spending thousands of dollars on therapists or treatment centers, without stopping your life, and without having to deal with your eating disorder every day for the rest of your life. I truly believe that if I did it, anyone can; because, believe me, there is nothing special about me—and yet I was able to change my brain to erase any desire to binge eat.

Repeating the same old destructive behavior is not only a problem of bulimics, binge eaters, and other addicts; it's a problem shared by the whole human race. We humans are the lucky ones, though, because we do not have to follow every impulse from our brains. We can observe our own thoughts and feelings, and from moment to moment, we can choose which ones we will follow through on and which ones we will disregard.

Our marvelous highest human brains give us great responsibility. We have the ability to write our brains' own programs by what we repeatedly do. This means that our actions carry much weight. Each day, we can choose to act in ways that are consistent with our goals and identities, or we can make poor choices and let bad habits take hold. What we do will affect our futures in a very real and physical way, by altering the neural footprints in our brains.

I hope that reading my story has helped those of you caught up in binge eating to detach yourself from the urges that drive you to destructive actions and disregard them. I hope that it has helped you see that you truly do have a choice in how you act and that your choices can change you. I can't say what your life after bulimia or BED will be like, and I can't guarantee that you will achieve great things or be transformed into the person you want to be. But I do know that once you free yourself from binge eating, you will be free to discover your own possibilities.

Notes

Preface

1
. Michel and Willard,
When Dieting Becomes Dangerous,
54.

2
. Michel and Willard,
When Dieting Becomes Dangerous,
30.

3
. Michel and Willard,
When Dieting Becomes Dangerous,
73-74.

4
. Kaye, "Eating Disorders."

5
. Medina,
Bulimia,
45.

6
. Bulik and Taylor,
Runaway Eating,
57.

7
. Walsh and Cameron,
If Your Adolescent Has an Eating Disorder,
84.

8
. Eating Disorders Coalition, "Facts About Eating Disorders."

Introduction

9
. Walsh and Cameron,
If Your Adolescent Has an Eating Disorder,
22.

10
. Kirkpatrick and Caldwell,
Eating Disorders,
56.

11
. Kirkpatrick and Caldwell,
Eating Disorders,
57.

12
. Walsh and Cameron,
If Your Adolescent Has an Eating Disorder,
5.

13
. Kirkpatrick and Caldwell,
Eating Disorders,
56.

14
. Walsh and Cameron,
If Your Adolescent Has an Eating Disorder,
22.