Break Away (12 page)

As wonderful as Dex was, there was definitely something dark beneath the surface. I saw flashes of it occasionally, as though there were a chink in the armor that he wore to shield that part of himself from everyone. Sometimes it was in his eyes, a dark shadow eclipsing his warm, chocolate irises. Other times, it was in his behavior, his temper igniting into full-blown rage at the slightest provocation. Most of the time, it was a subtle shift, as if he were sinking into himself and disappearing into his own head for several minutes before finally snapping out of it.

I never asked him about it or brought it up when it happened. I worried that it would only make him run away, and I didn’t want that. I wanted him to trust me enough to open himself up, but I didn’t want to force him. There were still plenty of things that I wasn’t ready to share yet, either.

We continued our game of disclosing one new thing about ourselves each time we saw each other, but we stuck to easy things like
“I sing in the shower,” (mine)
or
“I own a Backstreet Boys CD,” (surprisingly, Dex.)
However, those seemingly insignificant truths were surprisingly revealing, and I felt like I was really getting to know him. I still hadn’t told him the details of my breakup with Steven or anything about my family. It wasn’t something that I liked to talk about, especially when it came to my family. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or look at me with pity in their eyes. Whenever I told people about my mother dying or my father abandoning me, they began tiptoeing around me as though I were going to burst into tears every time they got a phone call from their own mom or mentioned family. I didn’t want to be treated differently. Especially not by anyone here.

The only time I’d ever been deeply concerned about Dex was when he showed up at the beach one day with a black eye, a split lip and bruises on his ribs. I remembered seeing bruises on him the first time we met, and I worried that he was involved in something dangerous. When I asked him about it, he brushed it off, saying that it was the result of a “casual fight between friends,” something he did every once in a while to “let off steam.”

What the hell did that even mean?

Dex just laughed, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and told me not to worry about it. I started to protest, but Amy flashed me an understanding smile, suggesting that she’d already tried and failed to talk to him about it. So, I let it go.

I came home from one of my mornings at the aquarium to find Amy and Dex bickering in the driveway. Sometimes they would get into it over the most trivial things, the way that only siblings who really love each other could do. It was pretty amusing, actually. Especially when Dex would try to win an argument by using the fact that he was three minutes older than her, and therefore superior.

“Hey, guys, what’s up?” I asked, climbing out of the car.

“I was trying to convince my sister to let me watch Sadie while she’s away this weekend,” Dex explained with a sideways scowl in her direction. “But apparently, she doesn’t trust me enough to do it.”

“That’s totally not the reason,” Amy said, rolling her eyes at him. “All I said was that having her for a whole day and night is a lot, and it might be better for Mom and Dad to do it.”

“It’s their anniversary, Amy. It’s stupid to make them cancel their plans when I’m offering to help. Besides, you and I both know what goes on when they ‘celebrate’ their anniversary… do you really want to subject poor Sadie to that?” he said with a grimace.

“I don’t know…”

“I can handle it, Sis. Sadie and I always have fun together. Don’t we, Sadie-girl?” Dex hoisted her up onto his shoulders, making her squeal with laughter.

“The problem is that you have too much fun!” Amy said. “Sadie has you wrapped around her little finger, and you know it. Are you really going to be able to get her to bed on time or discipline her when she acts up?”

“I could help,” I chimed in. They’d done so much for me since I’d been here, it was the least I could do. It was also really sweet how badly Dex wanted to help.

“No way, I can’t ask you to do that,” Amy protested, shaking her head.

“I don’t mind at all. It will be fun,” I assured her. “I’m not working this weekend, so chances are I’ll be hanging around here with them anyway.”

Amy finally agreed, making Dex and Sadie jump around the yard in excitement. He really was a terrific uncle, even if sometimes he acted like as much of a kid as she was.

Nate and I were at the gym getting an early workout in when I mentioned that I was watching Sadie while Amy was out of town, and therefore couldn’t work at the shop over the weekend. Not that I normally did anyway.

“Where’s Amy going?” Nate asked curiously, setting down the dumbbells between sets. “Who’s she going with?”

“I don’t know, she has some work thing,” I said, unsure why he was so interested in my sister’s plans.

“How did you end up with babysitting duty… don’t your parent’s usually take Sadie?”

“It’s their anniversary tonight, so I offered.”

“That was unusually considerate of you.” He eyed me skeptically. “This act of kindness wouldn’t have anything to do with the person who just so happens to live right below your sister, would it?”

I took a swig of water from my bottle and ignored his smug grin. “Olivia and I are just friends. You know that.”

“Yeah, but in all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never once seen you be ‘just friends’ with a girl. So what’s different?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Olivia’s cool… she’s fun, smart… and she’s never afraid to say what she’s really thinking. She doesn’t pretend to give a shit about what I’m saying just so I’ll spread her out on the mattress.”

“You’re not biding your time to eventually get with her?”

Without answering, I went back to lifting weights. I didn’t know
what
the hell I was doing. As much as I liked being friends with Olivia, I didn’t know how long I could hide my attraction to her. I wanted her.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Nate smirked.

“I would only find a way to fuck it up if I did get with her, so no, I’m not,” I clarified. “She’s too good for a cheap fuck, and I don’t do more than that.”

“Maybe not, but the Dex Porter I know doesn’t back down when things get tough… he fights for what he wants.”

“Not anymore.”

“Ooooh, look at that one!” Sadie said enthusiastically, pointing her tiny finger at one of the fish through the glass.

Olivia and I had decided to take Sadie to the aquarium for the afternoon. She was taking her time to examine everything. At the rate we were going, we’d likely be there all day. I didn’t mind, though. Olivia was telling Sadie about the different varieties of fish and other creatures in the huge tank, and Sadie was loving every minute.

I carried her so that she could see better, and Olivia was huddled right next to us as we stood in front of the glass. Glancing to the side, I saw an elderly woman watching us from a few feet away with an appreciative smile on her face.

“You have a beautiful family,” she said, gesturing to Sadie and Olivia who were happily watching the fish and chatting quietly, completely absorbed in what was going on inside the tank.

I gave her a small smile and nodded, not bothering to correct her. Her words tugged at my heart and as I looked at the little girl in my arms and the gorgeous woman nestled at my side, I felt myself wishing that I could have that for real. For once, I wanted normal. I’d never given much thought to having a family. I’d always thought that the better part of my life would be devoted to the Marines, not retired at twenty-five and stumbling through whatever fragment of a life I had left. Having a family wasn’t in the cards for me. I couldn’t be responsible for anyone else, much less be there to protect them and guide them. I couldn’t survive another failure.

A small group of people came up and stood next to us, and I put my free hand on Olivia’s hip, gently shifting her in front of me to make room for them. I let my hand rest there, unable to move it even though I knew I should. She was close enough that my chest was scarcely brushing against her back, her magnetic pull drawing me in and charging the blood that pumped through my veins. My thumb found a slice of bare skin at the hem of her shirt and gently skimmed across it, sending a faint shiver through her. I held my breath, waiting for her to pull away from me or push my hand off, but she didn’t move. Our bodies hovered as close to each other as possible without touching, connected only at the point where my thumb lingered on her skin. The air between us was thick and crackling with electricity as we stared at the tank in silence, mesmerized by the fluid motion and vibrant colors that passed by.

“Can we go see the turtles now?” Sadie’s voice broke the trance, and I dropped my hand, taking a step back.

“Sure,” Olivia replied, her voice quivering slightly as she put more space between us. “How would you like to meet Myrtle? She’s the coolest and most special turtle in the whole world.”

“Yes! I wanna meet Myrtle!” Sadie clapped her hands excitedly, dissolving any tension between us.

After a long day at the aquarium, we were all sufficiently exhausted by the time we got back to Amy’s house. We ordered pizza and cozied up on the couch to watch Sadie’s favorite movie,
The Little Mermaid
.

“That’s a pretty bathing suit,” Sadie said, pointing to Ariel on the screen. “Can I get one like that, Dee?”