Authors: Terri Blackstock
“All the time.” Sadie picked at her french fries. “But then I realize I need to finish. Maybe even go to college and study journalism.”
“Why? So you can spend four years learning to do what you’re already doing, then come back here and work the same job?”
She smiled. “How do you know I want to stay here? Maybe I want to go to New York or Washington and work for one of the major papers.”
“Is that what you’re gonna do?”
“I’d want the option, even if I didn’t take it. Didn’t you ever think of going to college?”
“Yeah, I thought about it. But my family couldn’t afford it.”
“What about scholarships, grants? Jonathan says no one should have to skip college because of finances, with all the financial aid available. I mean, you might not get to go to the college that’s your first choice, but you could go somewhere and get your degree.”
He bit again and chewed, thinking. “Well, to be perfectly honest, my grades weren’t good enough in school to get academic scholarships. I wasn’t a good enough athlete to get an athletic scholarship. And when it all came right down to it, and I started thinking about loans and grants and all that, I realized I’d rather get on with my life now. Now I have a steady income and a place
of my own and I don’t have to live in some dorm room waiting for real life to begin.”
“Real life? You don’t think college is real life?”
He chuckled. “No, I don’t. When else can you take four years to party and hang out, live in a place all expenses paid, with no one to answer to?”
“You answer to the professors.”
“Not much. If you can pass their tests, they’re satisfied. But they don’t care when you come in at night or how much you drink. Even the studying isn’t real life. Think about it. How often in life are you going to use calculus?”
“I don’t know. But don’t you think it’s good for your brain to learn? It makes you sharper. More disciplined.”
He rolled his eyes. “Most people come out of college with their brains fried, not sharper. I have friends who’ve gone to college and wound up just as messed up as those who dropped out in high school. I figure, who needs it?”
“You sound like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I have. I decided that being a cop was the way to get what I want. People respect cops. They admire them. Bad guys fear them.”
Sadie grinned. “And you like being feared?”
“There are worse things.”
Sadie thought about the impressions she’d had of cops in the past. They’d arrested her mother, dragged her off in handcuffs…. But they’d also rescued Sadie when she was alone and broken. “I don’t fear cops. I respect them. I owe my life to Cade. Ten college degrees wouldn’t make you more important than one police badge, in my book.”
His smile told her he appreciated that.
“And look what you did, discovering Emily’s body. You’re practically a hero.”
“Just doing my job.”
Sadie wasn’t sure of his sincerity—since he had every reason to be proud—but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Have you always wanted to be a cop?”
“Since I was a kid. But I also like working with computers. Maybe I’ll move into something with cybercrimes. Maybe for the FBI or something.”
“Ever thought of being a detective, like your uncle?”
“Maybe. But I wouldn’t settle for what he’s settled for. Small town crimes that would put you to sleep—”
“Hey, Joe’s helped solve some major cases. Cade says he’s one of the best.”
“Yeah, but I want more. I’m starting young enough to make my mark.”
“And you’re being trained by the best. Cade’s top-notch.”
“Yeah, he’s great. A real role model.”
Was that a note of sarcasm in his voice?
He gazed out the window, then his face changed. “Hey, if it isn’t the old gang. Let’s go out and see them.”
Sadie followed his gaze to the group of her schoolmates that had gathered in the parking lot. They’d been at the church, and like her, they seemed to need some levity after the sadness of the last few days. She didn’t want to join them, but Scott was already sliding out of the booth. Reluctantly, she followed him outside.
“Hey, it’s Scott!”
At Don Sandifer’s exclamation, everyone turned to look. Sadie wanted to shrink back, but Scott headed into the midst of the crowd.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?”
“Are you really the one who found Emily the other night?” Annie Malone’s voice gushed with adoration.
“Yeah, that was me, but I can’t talk about an ongoing police investigation, guys.”
“Do you have your gun with you?”
Scott shot Bret Ames a look that suggested he was an idiot. “No, Bozo, I’m not carrying a piece, and even if I were, I wouldn’t let you see it. It’s not a toy.”
Sadie watched Scott bask in the admiration of his former classmates. He deserved it … but it was the last way she wanted to spend their date.
As if he sensed her feelings, Scott reached back and took her hand. “You guys know my date, Sadie, don’t you?”
The gesture surprised her. The gossip would be all over the island within an hour. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
Then, through the crowd, she saw someone watching her. Matt stood there, his hands in his pockets, looking at her holding Scott’s hand.
She let his hand go and crossed her arms. Why had she done that? Was it worry for his feelings, when she didn’t even know for sure how he felt? Or was it because she didn’t want him to think she and Scott were an item?
She honestly didn’t know.
Matt didn’t come closer. Instead, he walked away and was gone before she could stop him.
She considered running after him, but what would she say? If he was interested in her, why hadn’t he ever made a move?
Scott Crown had done so, and he was proud to be with her, even if she was a high school student.
And there was something to be said for that.
T
he sun melted into the horizontal clouds that seemed to hang over Hanover House, and Amelia Roarke realized it would be dark soon. The sight of that peaceful sky—like a banner that promised nothing bad could ever happen here—should have relaxed her. Instead, she couldn’t breathe.
She needed a paper sack to blow into, to signal to her lungs that they didn’t have to coil up like tightly balled fists. “I can’t do this. Keep driving.”
Her best friend Jamie clutched the steering wheel. “Come on, Amelia. We came all the way here. We’ve driven by that house four times. We’re going to stop and knock on that door.”
Amelia thought she might throw up as they rolled toward the driveway. “No, I
can’t!
Please, don’t turn in there. We’ll do it tomorrow.”
She’d never figured herself for a coward, yet here she was, shivering like her life depended on the person behind
that door, the woman who had given birth to her nineteen years earlier.
The mother she’d never met.
The truth was, she was scared of how she’d feel when that door opened. What if her mother answered the door and mistook her for an encyclopedia salesman? What if she slammed the door in her face?
Or worse, what if she invited her in and listened as Amelia told her that she was the child she’d given up for adoption? She could get angry and rail about sealed records and ruined lives. She could throw her out without even a smile.
Anything could happen.
Her parents had warned her—her
real
parents, who had loved her and raised her, stayed up with her when she was sick, and wept when she went off to college. Still, no matter how much they loved her, they just didn’t get it. They’d been hurt, as if her search was a personal assault on them.
But the questions ate at Amelia, and she often woke up thinking about this mystery woman who gave her up. What did her mother look like? Did she have any other kids? Who was Amelia’s father? Was he alive?
She’d had to do the search behind her parents’ backs, using the computer and the resources she’d learned about on a Listserv for adoptees. It took more than a year to find out her mother’s name and another year to locate her.
When Amelia learned she lived in a place called Cape Refuge, she thought the name sounded like shelter, peace, a place where you were a part of things without even trying.
She didn’t expect such terror at the prospect of finding what she’d searched for all this time.
“You’ll have to do it sometime, Amelia.” Jamie’s look was pointed. “We don’t have enough money to stay longer than a couple of days.”
Jamie was a good friend. She’d come along for moral support—knowing that Amelia’s nerves would get the best of her and she’d need a hand to hold. Amelia hated letting her down.
“I know, and I will. Tomorrow, I promise.” She twisted her long blonde hair around her finger until it almost cut off the circulation; she was like a little girl at vacation Bible school, clinging to her mother’s knees and begging her not to make her go in.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was supposed to have more courage. She’d been relentless in tracking her birth mother down, more fearless with each phone call that got her closer to her goal.
Was she going to let it slip through her fingers because of a case of nerves? If she did, she’d never forgive herself. “What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“We’ve been through all this.” Jamie came to a stop sign and gave her a long look. “You said you were ready. You’ve been building up to this for a whole year.”
It was true. Jamie had been with her every step of the way, rooting her on and offering ideas. The day Amelia got a copy of her original birth certificate and learned her mother’s name, Jamie was there, just as excited as she.
Now Jamie sighed. “I’m gonna be totally bummed if we did this all for nothing.”
Amelia knew that for all Jamie’s encouragement, she was running out of patience. As they sat at the stop sign, Jamie pulled her bottle-blonde hair up from her neck to cool it off, since her air conditioner wasn’t working that great.
“I’ll be bummed too. I promise, I’m going to do it tomorrow. I just need to get my head straight first. Plan what I’ll say. I thought we’d get here and have a little more trouble finding where she was, you know? I didn’t expect that lady to tell us right off the bat. It threw my rhythm off.”
Jamie shot her an amused look. “Your rhythm? Don’t go dramatic on me, Amelia. You don’t need a rhythm to knock on someone’s door.”
“Okay, so it sounds crazy. But I don’t know yet what I want to do after I meet her. Like, if she does accept me, what relationship do I want to have? Will I want to be friends? Will I need to
call her
Mom
? Will I spend holidays with her, visit her in the summers? When I get married someday, will she sit on the row with my parents, or will she sit somewhere else like anybody else who comes? I have to work through these things.”
“Now you’re acting mental. Normal people don’t have to have the outcome for every possible scenario before they take the first step.”
“So you’re calling me crazy?”
“Yes. Certifiable.” Jamie looked at her with those impatient eyes, and suddenly Amelia started to laugh. Jamie broke into a smile too and started to drive again.
“Okay, so we go back to the room, get a good night’s sleep, you write about a hundred angst-ridden pages in your journal, and tomorrow—”
“Tomorrow we go and knock on her door. I’ll be ready then.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay, then. We’ll go back to the room.” Jamie flicked her hair back over her shoulder and glanced at Amelia. “Now
that’s
something to be afraid of.”
C
ade gave the information about Marcus Gibson to the GBI, letting them know his department was available to help in any way they needed. They’d planned to put Gibson under twenty-four-hour surveillance, but they hadn’t been able to locate him yet.
Cade took advantage of the lull to go to the jewelry store and pick up the ring he’d had made for Blair.
The Colonel from Crickets—Cade’s favorite diner—was there, standing at one of the display counters, studying some necklaces. Zaheer, who had taken out several things to show the man, clapped his hands when Cade came in.
“Ah, Chief Cade. I have been expecting you today.”
The Colonel turned around and grinned. “Well, well. If it ain’t ol’ Romeo hisself.”
Cade grinned and shook the man’s hand. “You didn’t see me here, okay, Colonel?”
“Course not. Can’t imagine what would bring you here.” He winked. “You ain’t shopping for a new watch, are you?”
Cade grinned. “Maybe.” The Colonel was teasing him. Cade should have made an appointment after hours and come in here when he was sure not to be seen. Why on earth hadn’t he thought of that? “What brings you here, Colonel?”
“The wife’s birthday is today,” he said. “I woke up this morning and realized it. Hadn’t got her a thing. Looking for an emergency necklace I can afford.”
Cade chuckled.
“You can go ahead and wait on him.” The Colonel waved his hand. “I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
Zaheer smiled up at Cade. “I will be right back with your purchase, Chief Cade.”
Cade wanted to tell him to wait until the Colonel left, but by then there might be someone else in the store. Sweat beaded on his temples. Maybe he should pretend he had a radio call and come back later. Before he could do so, Zaheer came out, brandishing the oyster. “Beautiful, is it not? I freshened the shell up a little, to make it a bit more magical.”
Cade tried to block the Colonel’s view, but he couldn’t help grinning as he took the oyster in his hand. It was perfect. Zaheer had touched up the shell with some pearl paint, making it look more like a jewel than a sea creature. “May I look?” he asked in a low voice.
“Of course. Carefully …” Zaheer opened the shell, revealing the one-carat solitaire Cade had so carefully chosen.
His heartbeat stumbled into triple time. He was really going to do this.
He glanced back at the Colonel, saw him straining his neck to see. Quickly he looked away, pretending he hadn’t seen. But the grin on his face told Cade he had.