Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) (24 page)

“Sienna-“

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…I’ll wait outside.” She blinked several times and backed out of the room in a rush.

“Hey, are you crying?” he asked worriedly as he followed her.

“No.” she lied wiping her eyes.

“I’m just…confused. Why did you bring me here? ”

“I just wanted you to see that there’s so much more to life than just…sadness!”

“So you brought me here? To a place filled with sick possibly terminally ill children? What is my faith in god supposed to suddenly return? Am I supposed to suddenly believe that the world isn’t such a bad place? Nice plan, quarterback.” She hissed and ran her hands through her hair suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

“I wanted you to see that there are better ways of dealing with sickness than cutting the people who love you off and pushing them away-“

“Love me? We both know you don’t love me. How dare you do this to me? How dare you bring me here? And
sickness
? What do you know about sickness?” she whispered and looked around. The hallway was thankfully empty.

“Let me tell you something about schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder, the doctors differ on their opinions from week to week, personally I don’t think they have a clue what to label me. When you tell people you have cancer, their immediate reaction is despair, anguish perhaps a dash of sympathy and a whole lot of love and care. Try telling someone you’re a schitzo, all you’ll get is a bucket load of fear and a shed load of pity and wariness. All that comes to your mind straight away is the crazy nutjobs who go around firing bullets at innocent kids in high schools and elementary schools. We’re not the good guys. We’re not the cute button nosed kids with wires stuck in our arms; we’re the ones who stick things in our arms to get away from all the crazy in here. We don’t get flowers, or balloons, or hugs, there are no races for schizophrenia walks, or annual fundraisers.”

“Sienna, calm down. I understand–“

“Our parents don’t love us or want us. All they
do is pray to God that we’ll get better all ready if only we took the damn pills that make us so sleepy and cranky then people wonder why she’s such a lazy slob? And look at us as if it’s our fault we see things nobody else can. We’re nothing but pariahs lurking in the shadows, we’re horror stories you hear around a campfire, the boogieman, we’re the monsters hiding in your cupboard that society just wants to lock up and throw away the key so don’t tell me you understand because you don’t!” she wept silently and pushed him away as he tried to console her.

“So what’s the point of this little tour of yours? Am I supposed to marvel at how secretly sensitive you are to cancer patients? That deep down you’re just a misunderstood good guy? That your alter ego is just a misogynist chauvinistic arrogant douchebag and that this is the real you? Please give me a break. That poor girl can’t be more than fourteen, you sick sonofa-“

“I’m his sister!” A girlish voice suddenly erupted from the doorway.

16.

“What?” she asked quietly as she gaped at the pretty little girl.

“You’re right she’s feisty. I like her.” She smirked; the dimples in her cheeks and the dark blackness of her eyes confirmed her words.
Oh my god, she looks just like Annie, how did I miss this?
She was the girl on Logan’s phone on the night of the train ‘incident’!

“Sienna, this is Amber, Amber well you know all about Sienna.” Logan sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “How?” Sienna inquired unfathomably. “Lets just say Annabelle is not the only child my dad fathered with another woman.” Logan winced.

“Oh. My. God. Annie has another sister. You have a sister! Who has cancer…does Grace know about you?” Sienna asked rapidly.

“Oh yeah. That bitch hates me.”

“
Amber
.” Logan reproached.

“Sorry, but she does.”

“Join the club.” Sienna retorted.

“So why isn’t he here?”

“He literally just got elected senator of Pennsylvania. It’ll be like Arnold Schwarzenegger all over again. Little Amber Vale here is Papa Jackson’s secret lovechild. The press would have a field day if they ever found out.”

“Logan’s actually not supposed to visit me too often otherwise people will get suspicious. But good news is at least I’m terminal so Papa Jackson as you so fondly called him can finally relax.”

“She doesn’t know about Annie?” Sienna gasped.

“Of course I know about Annie.” She replied cheerfully but Logan could detect the weariness in her voice from standing too long.

“Lets get you back in bed.” He said softly and led her back in.

“My mom used to work for our dad. She was his secretary.” Amber said airily and took off her wig throwing to the end of the bed revealing her hairless head.

“Sienna, can I talk to you alone?” she asked abruptly.

“Amber.” Logan chided.

“Relax, I won’t tell her about the playboys stashed in that creepy box under your bed. I just want to talk, girl to girl.”

“Five minutes.”

“Yes Warden Jackson.” She cooed as he left.

“Lets cut to the chase ‘cos I think he really means it. My brother is an idiot, a loveable idiot but an idiot nonetheless. He says stupid things. He does stupid things. And he’s such a good liar you’ll never know when he’s telling the truth something he inherited from our dear politician father, but you know him better than anyone else that he has the biggest heart and when he loves someone, he loves them with every inch of his being, he’d even be willing to fling himself in front of a moving train for them.” She said poignantly, her eyes suddenly looking so tired and sad.

“Amber, it’s more complicated than that.” Sienna blushed and looked away.

“He is in love with you and you’re in love with him and you’re both
miserable
without each other, its not rocket science. He was so madly in love with you that he was so wounded when he saw that you’d rather die than be with him that he wanted to hurt you just as bad as you hurt him. He wanted to punish you. It’s petty and stupid but that’s Logan. He’s always had a temper. You know that. And I think what made him madder was that you never fought for the relationship, not once. You need to stop holding on to your hate. Believe me, life is too short.”

“What if hate is all I’ve got left? What if it’s the only thing that reminds me that I’m still alive?” Sienna asked sincerely looking to this child for answers to questions she’d asked herself for months.

“Then you’ll always be tired. Anger is exhausting believe me I know. I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was eleven. Make the most of your physical heath before its gone. Not all of us get a second chance in life and yours is standing outside and his is sitting right in front of me.”

“How do you know so much about me?”

“Oh, its all we talk about whenever Jake comes to visit, the latest in the soap opera drama that is Logan and Sienna. You’re both so dramatic and short tempered but what’s a little love without some passion?” Amber asked theatrically with smirk.

“Oh God,” Sienna winced and covered her face with her hand trying to hide her embarrassed smile. Seriously? First Annie, now Amber, did everyone honestly think that all Logan and Sienna ever did was go at each other like a couple of Viagra pill popping bunnies?

“What? I’m fourteen. I’ll probably not make the end of this month forget next year. I’m living vicariously through Scarlett O’Hara, Katniss Everdeen and you so you better go out and live.” She said gleefully, her eyelids began drooping as she yawned.

“One more thing, Logan is keeping something from you, but you can’t tell him I told you. He-“

“Oh hey.” She said abruptly as Logan walked in.

“You ready to go?” he said to Sienna looking rather apprehensive as if he were worried that Amber had already spilled his secret. 

“Sure. Is it okay if I visit you tomorrow Amber? I could bring pictures of Annie?”

“Really? I’d like that!” she exclaimed and yawned again.

“Get some rest. I’ll come visit when I can.” He said sweetly and kissed his sister on the cheek before leaving. This miniscule gesture of affection melted any remaining hatred she had left for Logan in her heart causing her to clench her fists to resist the urge to run over there and jump on to him hugging him like a child to a blanket.

“Logan, I thought you were taking me home?” she asked confusedly as Logan drove up to his home entrance.

“Yeah I will, sorry, I just need to pick something up from home. Do you mind just coming in for a minute?” he asked innocuously and after witnessing his behavior at the hospital Sienna didn’t detect a thing.

“Sure.” she replied naively and followed him in. She barely got two feet in before she was met with screaming horde of people and an array of party poppers, which Sienna mistook for gunfire causing her to drop to the floor.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they yelled. Their cheer died down when they saw her dusting herself and standing back up again awkwardly. Damn, she was weird.

“Oh just shoot me now.” she muttered under her breath as she saw most of the senior and junior year classes gawping at her.

“Just smile and breathe.” He said through a strained perfect white smile.

“Logan how could you do this to me? You know I hate these people.” She hissed under her breath her eyes specifically on Bethany Simmons who glared back at her in envy. “Well the people love you, so please don’t hate me just yet and blow out your candles.”

“Happy birthday, Sienna.” Rose gulped.

“Thanks.” She replied and couldn’t help but stare at the hand she was holding. Noah quickly moved his hand and shoved it in to his pocket.

“Make a wish birthday girl!” Trent hollered as Lawson brought the large square chocolate birthday cake topped with she’d be willing to bet seventeen lit candles on it out closer to her, resting it on a table in the foyer near the grand whirling staircase.

She looked up at Logan who grinned back at her knowing she hated all the attention and love she was getting but didn’t care because he decided she’s better get used to it. Sienna sighed and closed her eyes trying to figure out what to wish for.

In truth, she had a million and one wishes but decided against world peace because like that was ever going to happen Miss Universe, so she instead she hoped with all her might that her sadness, her hallucinations, her sickness would all just go away so that she could be a ‘normal’ girl again. She’d trade her illness over her newly found beauty any day if it meant she could go back to being that scrawny smiling braced faced kid again.

She opened her eyes as she blew the candles out causing her classmates to cheer and whoop and clap again. Sienna was stunned silent as she saw her father walking behind them smiling. She smiled back at him then at Logan who had noticed this strange exchange of looks she’s made to thin air. She looked back at where her father had stood just seconds before but he was gone. After the initial cake cutting process and passing of plastic red cups were made all the questions came rolling in.

“So, are you and Logan like back together?” Courtney Cross asked lightly twirling her blond locks with her fingers; her speech was a little slurred making Sienna wonder how it was that she was already drunk. The music pumped in the background making it hard for Sienna to barely make out what she was saying.

“No, we’re just…we’re friends.” Sienna answered for the third time that night.

“Oh, I wish I had super hot rich guy friends that threw me birthday parties. Oh wait, I do. He’s gay. Here are some words of advice. Come here, come here.” she ushered staggering on her heels for a couple of seconds. Sienna went over there.

“You might be surprised by this but I’m not a virgin.” she whispered in Sienna’s ear, her breath reeked of strong alcohol then belched.

“You don’t say,” Sienna retorted drolly.

“So here is my birthday present to you.” She cackled and slipped a condom in to her hand.

“Oh my…” Sienna sighed and quickly hid it in her fist before anyone could see it.