Breaking Down Sydney (Sydney West #2) (22 page)

I frowned. I didn’t want to grow up and face the world. The idea of me being the mother, the one to teach, scared me. There was so much out there for me to learn, for me to experience. Was it a bad thing I wanted to taste all that life had to offer before bringing another life into the world? That was if I ever had kids.

“There!” I said, rushing into an antique store. In the front was a wooden table and right next to it was the “perfect” gift. It was sitting on a stand, looking at me. It was waiting for me to come by. Kylie told me Jason loved the book
The Great Gatsby
, and in front of me was one of the original copies.

I held it in my hands like it was a precious newborn. Amelia came in and looked at the book, then at me. “That’s
the
gift?” She raised an eyebrow, unconvinced the book would rock Jason’s world.

“Yes.” I took it to the register. My stomach was in knots. It was going to cost an arm and a leg. The old man behind the counter smiled at me.

“How much for this?” I slid the book on the counter.

He studied it as he toyed with his long white goatee. “For you, child, I’ll say two hundred.”

It was cheap for a rare book. “Are you sure?” I was in shock.

“Aye.”

I gave him my card. He ran it and had me sign a piece of paper to run my credit. Butterflies danced in my stomach as he slid the book into a bag.

As the man handed me the bag, he whispered to me, “Don’t let love go to waste. Let this gift speak volumes.”

“Thank you,” I said, unsure what else to do. Amelia hooked her arm with mine and led me out to the mall. I looked behind me. Was that shop always there?

“Now we can eat!” Amelia dragged me behind her as she ran.

The thoughts of the antique store and its nice, yet creepy man faded out of my mind.

All four of us sat at a table eating lunch. Jason texted Kylie, but she claimed to be in too heated of a conversation about cameras with the salesman to join us. We laughed and chatted during lunch while hiding bags of presents from each other. Afterwards, we agreed to go shopping for our best friend. To make it fair, Amelia went off with Jason and I was stuck with Hunter.

“What did you get Amelia?” I asked. It was strange being alone with him. The last time we were alone together was in California, when I threatened him to be kind to Amelia.

“Some jewelry. An emerald green necklace and matching earrings. They go with her eyes,” he said, running a hand through his hair nervously.

I nodded. “She’ll like that.”

He cleared his throat. “Do you know what to get her?”

I smiled. Of course I knew what to get my best friend. “I’m going to buy her some of her favorite lotion and perfume. Maybe a movie or a CD too.”

“Is the scent Onyx Amethyst?”

“Yes.” I raised an eyebrow in surprise.

He nodded. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shove his hands into his back pockets. It was awkward hanging out with him. At least we were buying presents for the same people. That meant we were on the same side, I think.

“What are you planning on getting Jason?” I asked, looking ahead. Maybe Hunter could give me a different insight to who Jason was by telling me what gift he planned to buy his best friend.

“He needs shirts so I’m going to buy him a gift card and maybe a movie or two,” he said, motioning to a popular clothing store. I followed him as he went to the cashier and bought a card for Jason.

Silence hung in the air as we wandered the mall once again. Across the way, there were kids chasing each other. Their parents sat on a bench, watching. The mom was resting her head on the dad’s shoulder. I wondered if that would be Jason and me in the future. A chill ran through me. Where did that thought come from?

I tugged on a loose strand of hair. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you in California. You and Amelia seem to be getting along great.”

“She told you.” His voice was low, as if Amelia had leaked one of his secrets.

I bit my lip. He probably meant the fight over the toilet seat not being down. “Was she not supposed to?” My stomach twisted in fear.

He shrugged. “I don’t care. I love her.” He smiled to himself, probably thinking of Amelia.

A smile took my lips. “I’m glad you two found each other.”

“She is quite a girl. Don’t worry about what happened in California. You were looking out for your best friend. I respect that.”

Body and Soul Works stood before us. I went straight to the Onyx Amethyst section, trying to decide which two items I should get my friend. I thought Hunter would hang back or drift around the store while I looked. Instead he stood in front of me. He looked like something was eating away at him. His face was blank, but his eyes held worry. I gave him a what-the-fuck look.

“Sydney, there’s something you need to know about Jason,” he said lowly, making a wave of fear wash over me. My stomach wanted to fall to my feet. Was he going to tell me it was all a hoax, some kind of sick game?

“What about him?” I tried to keep the horror out of my voice.

“He loves you, and it hurts him to see you sad or in pain. You once warned me about your best friend. I need to do the same for mine.” He leaned in closer. His breath was hot on my face. “He’s a wonderful guy, someone who’d never betray you or hurt you, no matter what you do to him. That’s rare in people these days, and I hate to see it taken advantage of. His ex fucked him up by cheating on him, and I don’t want to see that happen again.” His words made my heart race. Hunter thought I’d be as stupid as Jason’s ex and ruin my chances with him. I wasn’t brainless, just slow at showing how I felt.

I leaned against the wall and looked up at the man my best friend wanted to marry and have children with. He was strong, kind hearted, and a good friend. I patted him on the shoulder. “I’m thankful a man like you has my best friend’s heart. You’ll take good care of her, I can already tell.”

He looked at me, puzzled for a second. “Thanks.”

“As for your best friend, I’ll be careful with his heart. I do love Jason. I’m working on how to express it more.” I took the book I bought for Jason out of the bag.

Hunter’s eyes widened. “Whoa! How did you find something like that?”

I gave him a shy smile. “It was on a table basically calling my name.”

He nodded. “He really does love you. I mean, when you left to come home he was a basket case. It was like you stole his heart and took it to Arizona with you.” Hunter placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad we followed you girls. It was the right choice. I’m glad we can all remain friends.”

A smile twisted my lips. “Me too. Otherwise, double dating might be a little unpleasant.”

Hunter left me be. I watched him for a heartbeat. After sharing a moment with Hunter, I could see how Amelia could spend the rest of her life with him.

I bought a lotion and a body spray for Amelia in her favorite scent and we left the store as better friends. It was funny to think that a sweet girl like Amelia was the reason all four of us had come together.

Hunter and I swung by the music store. He bought Jason two movies and I bought Amelia a new album by her favorite artist. I resisted the urge to buy myself an Emilie Autumn poster. This was no time to be selfish.

Chapter Thirty-Three

When Christmas morning came, I was excited and nervous. I wanted to see Jason’s face when he opened his present. Everyone else I bought for would be thankful, but they weren’t someone I was devoted to. The fear burned me from the inside out. What did he get me? Something shiny and expensive, like a ring? What if he got me something without meaning, like a magazine or a lamp? Leave it to me to worry about what messages gifts had.

Everyone attacked the presents under the tree. My mom had the fake fireplace going on the TV and seasonal music playing in the background. There were even cookies on the table. Hunter took a few.

Amelia gave me a beautiful blue scarf and gunmetal-colored stilettos. She loved the gift I gave her. As soon as she opened it, she put on some lotion and misted Hunter with the body spray.

Mother freaked when she opened her gift. I bought her as much Snoopy stuff that I could find in stores and online. She gave me a silver bracelet, a CD, and a blouse with a box of condoms concealed inside it. My mom was protective, sweet, and strange.

Ellie and Kylie gave each other necklaces. They both pitched in and bought Jason a stereo for his Jeep. He gave them each a gift card to a fancy spa in Hollywood so they could relax when they got back home.

When Amelia and Hunter exchanged presents, they were so happy they made out on the couch. The rest of us tried to ignore them.

“This is what I got you,” Jason said with a smile. He handed me something small and square wrapped in Scooby-Doo paper.

“Nice wrapping paper.”

He winked at me. “Thought you’d like it.”

My heart raced as I cradled the small present. “This is for you.” I handed him his gift.

We both opened slowly. It was kind of ironic. We both wanted to see each other’s reaction and see our own present at the same time.

When all the paper was stripped away, I was left with a navy blue, velvet box. I looked up at everyone. They were watching me. I swallowed and looked at Jason. He gave me a smile before going back to ripping his own paper. At least he wasn’t getting down on one knee.

I licked my lips and opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful pair of diamond earrings I’d ever seen. They were perfect. They probably cost…

“Sydney! You didn’t!” Jason shouted with glee.

I looked up from my earrings to see Jason holding his book like it was a newborn baby. He had a huge smile on his face.

“This is like the best present ever! Where did you find this?” His eyes sparkled with love and joy.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “It called to me, really.”

Kylie snorted. “Fate,” she mouthed to me.

“Thank you!” he said, hugging the book to his chest.

I stood and sat on his lap. “No, thank you. These are gorgeous,” I said, motioning to my small jewelry box.

“Not as gorgeous as you.” Jason took my face in his hands and kissed me hard.

At first I was afraid of kissing him in front of both our moms, but my heart wasn’t ashamed and took over the voice inside my head. Besides, my mom wanted grandchildren. She’d probably be desperate enough to lock us in a bedroom together. I prayed that would never happen. Besides she gave me condoms for Christmas. That was a big hint for us to wait for kids.

We all spent the rest of the day watching holiday-related films and eating too many sweets. I fell asleep on Jason, and he held me in his arms all night.

Chapter Thirty-Four

A few days later, the seven of us went to Butterflyland for the day. It was a sanctuary for butterflies from all over the world. Our tour started with a 3D video of the life cycle of Monarch butterflies and then we walked into a room that held cocoons. Some butterflies had already broken free and were wandering around the glass tank. There were rows and rows of cocoons, all labeled with what type of butterfly they were going to become.

Amelia and Kylie took pictures with their cell phones, talking about angles and lighting. Hunter stood behind Amelia, rubbing her shoulders. She’d brush him off to take a picture, then let him touch her again. Mom and Ellie talked about which butterfly was their favorite.

“Syd.” Jason nodded for me to come join him. “Look.” He pointed to a lime green cocoon that was moving.

We stood there in awe as nature’s miracle broke free and spread her wings for the first time. She was almost the size of my hand. Her wings were blue with black tips and a matching body.

“She’s gorgeous.” I leaned into the glass and read the label above her.

A Blue Morpho butterfly.

“The next party can come into the exhibit,” a man in uniform said.

The seven of us entered a tiny room. “The rules are simple. Watch your step. Butterflies land all over the place. Please make sure you don’t step on them. Don’t touch the butterflies. The oils on your skin hurts their wings. They may land on you, though. If you want a butterfly removed from your person, ask an employee. They are all in a uniform like this.” He motioned at his bright blue shirt and tan pants. “Enjoy.” He opened the door and let us into the wonderland.

Mom squeezed my shoulder. I knew she was beyond excited. She loved butterflies. Her bedroom’s theme proved it. Amelia and Kylie went into the corner to take pictures of butterflies on red flowers.

Hunter and Jason walked along the path to the pond and waterfall. They joked with each other, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

A purple butterfly landed on my mom’s shirt. She smiled and gave me a look, asking for me to take her picture. I took my phone out as fast as I could and snapped the photo before it flew away.

“This place is amazing!” Mom cried, looking up.

The ceiling was domed, letting in little sunlight. It was all controlled to be like a rainforest. The air felt muggy, and it was kind of hard to breathe. Misters came on, encasing us in a mysterious fog. Butterflies were all over. A small yellow one landed on the path in front of me. I stepped over it and walked into the back, where the plants were thicker. A bowl of water laid beyond the rail was filled with countless butterflies. They were various sizes and colors.

“Who knew there were this many types of butterflies?” Ellie said, standing next to me. “Too bad they only live for two weeks.”

I frowned. “Yeah, their beauty should last longer than that.” The skin between my shoulder blades itched. It felt odd being alone with Jason’s mom.

“I’ve never seen Jason this happy before,” she said, resting her arms on the metal rail.

“Oh?” I had no idea where this was headed.

“He’s had past girlfriends, but they always managed to hurt him…” She trailed off.

I remembered Jason telling me about his girlfriend cheating on him with his former friend. That was beyond cold. Was his mom giving me a warning too, like Hunter?

“I don’t plan on hurting Jason, if you—”

She gave me a weak smile. “I know, dear, but a mother worries. He hasn’t told you about his father, has he?”

I paused, thinking back to the summer. He told me he could relate to having a crappy father, but I didn’t recall any details. Recently he dropped a few hints, but nothing major. “Not really, said something about fighting in the house sometimes and he’d go out and surf. Mainly he told me his dad wasn’t a good man. We could relate on that subject.”

Ellie hung her head. “I see.”

“What’s wrong?” My heart pinged as her face crumpled into sorrow and her lips pressed into a line.

“His father was a lot of things. He liked to hit Jason and tossed him out of the house once for defending me.”

I stood agape. A green butterfly flew between Ellie and me, followed by another. “Wait, what?” It felt like I’d been stabbed in the chest. Jason knew all about my family drama and he was holding this back?

“Don’t think too much into it,” Ellie said, touching my arm. “He never talks about it, not even in therapy. All his anger and whatever he held inside was taken to the ocean. He surfed until the sun died, maybe longer if the moon was bright enough. Always made me worry.” She shook her head, lost in her thoughts.

A tiger-striped butterfly landed on the back of my hand. I admired its beauty for a heartbeat before it took off again. My mind swirled and everything ached.

“But I told him a lot about me…he was there when my father died!” I blinked back tears, unsure how to process this information.

Ellie brought me into a hug. I squeezed my eyes tight.

Was this heartbreak? I let my walls down for this?

“I don’t understand…”

“Shh, I’m sorry, sweetie.” She rubbed circles on my back, calming me. “I shouldn’t have said all that. I forgot about your father. May he rest in peace.”

Jason walked up to us. “Hey…”

I let go of his mom and placed my hands on my hips. “Why didn’t you tell me about your father? He was an asshole just like mine and you summed it up—”

“Syd, I don’t talk about him. He left us and never came back.” His eyes moved to his mom.

She raised her hands. “I’m going to talk to Jessica,” she said, slipping past me.

“I don’t—”

“Baby, I’m sorry. I wish she hadn’t upset you. After you told me about your dad, his addiction and abuse,” he paused, letting out a breath. “I didn’t want to share my pain with you because you were already locked up. If I related too much to you, then you’d back away. I know because I did that with a few people. I didn’t want them to be on the same level as me and I didn’t want them to pity me so I never talked about him. He was a dick who was mean and abandoned his family. My sister cried for weeks, always looking out the window to see when Daddy was coming back.” He bowed his head.

I looked past the trees, seeing Amelia and Kylie laughing as a butterfly landed on Hunter’s face. They kept taking pictures and mocking him. The corners of my lips curled up but died before turning into a smile. My grief was too heavy for the simplest of grins. To see his older sister shattered and his mother a mess must have left deep scars.

“How can you love so much? You’ve been through hell too and you didn’t become ice like me.” I tilted my head, confused.

The pad of his thumb traced the line of my lips. “Because I didn’t want that to be the end. I knew love had to be out there and I’d find it for myself. I had a lot of setbacks, but they helped me.”

My eyebrows met, still puzzled. “How?”

He pressed his forehead to mine. “Because all that pain and heartache lead me to you, Syd. I learned from them and I taught you how to open up. Don’t you see…we were meant for each other.”

I looked into his stormy eyes. My knees weakened. He was right. How screwed up our lives were before was what brought us together.

His mouth parted, and I kissed him. He bit my bottom lip and hooked his fingers into the loops of my jeans. He pushed my ass against the railing and butterflies chased each other all around us. People laughed and took pictures in the distance, unaware of our passion. Voices filled the air like music. Jason grabbed a handful of my hair and dipped me back, kissing me like he needed me to live. Fire grew in my belly, moving south. I raked my fingernails down his arms and closed my eyes.

When I opened them, a butterfly landed on Jason’s shoulder. I giggled and watched it fly away.

“You’re mine, Jason King,” I murmured, against his lips.

“I’d have it no other way,” he replied. “Come with me.”

Jason took my hand and towed me into the center of the wonderland. He motioned toward a blue chair. Its back was shaped like a butterfly. I sat down and looked up at him, wondering what he was planning. People gathered around us. In the corner of my eye, I saw Amelia with Hunter’s arms wrapped around her torso. I turned my head and saw my mom, Kylie, and Ellie standing by each other, smiling in our direction.

My attention went back to Jason. “What is—”

“Sydney, I know we haven’t known each other for even a year yet, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. We share a lot of the same scars, and I swear we’ll never end up like our crappy fathers.” His eyes flicked over to our moms and then back to me. “We’ll be more like our badass moms.”

I swallowed and stared into a sea of silver. His eyes pulled me in, trying to drown me. “If I was half the woman my mom was, I’d be thankful, but what does—”

Jason got down on one knee before me and held a dark blue, velvet box in his hand. “This is part two of your Christmas present, but I wanted a better venue, so I had to wait a bit.”

A humming took over my hearing, making me deaf.

Jason’s proposing to me? What the fuck? We never talked about marriage. Amelia and Hunter did. They have a plan! Then Jason throws a curveball at me.

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, making it hard to speak. “Jason…I…” He said part two of my gift. I grabbed my diamond earring in my left ear, fingering it. Oh shit.

He opened the box and inside was a diamond ring with smaller diamonds on both sides. My heart fell out of my chest and died from shock.

“You’re all I want, Syd. You make me happy. I couldn’t picture my life without you and being away from you for those few weeks made me realize how much you mean to me.”

I licked my lips and looked around. Everyone was watching us. We had taken over the wonderland. No one cared about the butterflies flying around us anymore.

My eyes dropped to the velvet box. As if fate wanted to rub it in more, a blue butterfly landed on the ring. Jason laughed and brought the ring up closer to me. “Will you marry me, Sydney West?”

Jason was my friend, my lover, and my savior. It took me too damn long to realize that without him I’d be hollow. I’d become something worse than I was in the past. He made me someone new, someone better. He was mine and I was his.

But marriage? Oh my God.

My mom burst into tears. Ellie rubbed her back and muttered something to her. Amelia wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled at us like she was part of the plan.

“Jason…” I took a breath and stared into his eyes. “Since I met you, I’ve felt things I’ve never knew existed. I can’t sleep without you in my bed. Thinking of living one day without you makes my chest hurt, as if an elephant is sitting on me.” I touched his cheek, running my fingers down his jawbone. “I never knew what I wanted until you came to Arizona for me. You shattered the picture I had for my life…” My voice cracked. I couldn’t hold my tears back any more. “You replaced it with something better. Your scent drives me wild yet makes me feel safe, like I’m home. I could never be with anyone else after you. It’s like you…”

My mom sobbed louder. Ellie held her close. Kylie joined in, rubbing my mom’s shoulder. She always cried when watching romantic movies. This was probably overpowering her emotions.

Jason brushed a piece of hair out of my face. The mist turned back on, creating an eerie glow around the dome. Butterflies chased each other around us, flying a few inches above our heads.

“Sydney, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.” He took the ring out of the box and held out his hand for mine. “Will you make me the happiest man?”

I gave him my hand. “Yes, Jason King. I’ll marry you!”

He slid the ring onto my finger and kissed me. Our lips molded to each other. Jason got to his feet and he pulled me out of the chair. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Jason sealed my mouth with his, killing my words. I gave into him, parting my lips. His tongue invaded me, dancing with mine. His hands were at my lower back, pressing me into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck. We kissed like there weren’t one hundred people watching us.

Somewhere I heard clapping. We broke away from each other, breathing hard. We found Kylie, Hunter, and Amelia giving us applause a couple feet away, as if we had just won the lottery. Maybe we had. Mom smiled proudly, wiping away her tears. Ellie held my mom close to her. She looked beyond happy as well.

Jason cupped my chin with his hand, tilting my head to look into his eyes. “I love you, Sydney West, even with all your insanity. And one day soon, you’re going to be my wife.”

My heart came back to life and fought against all its scars, all the pain it felt for so many years. The old Sydney would’ve run for the hills at the idea of marriage, but I wasn’t her anymore. Everything was clear to me now. I traced his jawbone with the tip of my finger.

“I love you, Jason King, even though you’re a pain in the ass. You have broken me down, all my walls are rubble, and I’ve fallen desperately in love with you. And on that day you become my husband, I’ll be yours for always.”