My eyes fall on Cane sitting at the card table, and my breath catches in my throat. Seeing him outside of work is going to be harder than I thought. My heart is racing a little bit, partly from nerves and partly because I miss him even after he hurt me. He smiles wistfully, his eyes lingering on me as he rakes his hand through his blonde hair, and then returns to playing his hand.
“You know I’m going to be trying that bull ride machine out, right?” Tyler jokes.
“Yeah, if you’re into making a fool of yourself.” I grimace at the thought of mounting the damn thing.
“You should try it; you might like it.” He cocks his head and shoots me his signature Tyler smile.
“Hmm, considering what I’m wearing, I don’t think that would be possible.” I spin, reminding him that I have a skirt on.
“Maybe after a couple of drinks you’ll change your mind.” He grabs my hand. “Come on; let’s check out the selection of alcohol.”
We head to the kitchen, and find it fully stocked with beer, wine, and tons of different liquors. Enough snacks and food to feed the whole block are set up on the island and countertops. The kitchen walls are grayish color and bare except for a Dallas Cowboys clock and a swimsuit model calendar. Takeout menus cover the front of the refrigerator. The typical guy décor is simple and functional, and nothing indicates a feminine touch, which for some reason, makes me happy.
“Hey, guys.”
I’m not surprised to hear her voice. Evelyn is not one to miss a party. The last time we did anything outside of work was the night she dragged me to the club so that I could witness Cane cheating with my own eyes. I turn around and smile wryly at her dressed in a pair of cut-off shorts and white blouse tied at the waist and a pair of cowboy boots, obviously keeping with the theme of the party. Tyler nods and turns to check out the selection of liquor on the counter.
“Hi.” I say.
“How are you?” She glances into her red cup and smiles back up at me.
“Fine.” I shift my eyes to the table stocked with food and slowly glance back over at her.
“I’m sorry,” She says, twirling the cup in her hand.
“It’s not your fault. You were doing what anyone would do.” I reply, not wanting to revisit the unpleasant memory or images of that night.
“If you need anyone to talk to, let me know.” She says with genuine concern as she comes up and surprises me with a hug. I reluctantly bring my arms up to squeeze her back.
“Thanks, Evelyn. I’m okay,” I say as I pull away.
“I’ll be here all night if you need to talk.” She gracefully spins on her toes and walks back out to the party. I’m glad that’s over. At least we cleared the air. I don’t want her to think I was mad at her. There’s only one person to blame for what happened that night.
“Well after that, you deserve a drink.” Tyler laughs as he turns to look at me. “So, what will it be?” Tyler picks up several bottles of liquor, visibly contemplating his choices as other guests grab beers, and fill their glasses with shots of liquor and then go back out to the party leaving us alone in a room full of alcohol.
“Whatever you’re having.” I’m too preoccupied with locating Reed to care what Tyler gives me to drink. I haven’t seen him since I walked in, and I want to wish him a happy birthday before things get crazy. Looking from the kitchen, I spot him, talking to a couple of blondes right outside the front door, laughing along with them while one of the girls leans into his arm. I should have known he was too good to be true. “Give me something
strong
, would ya?” Twisting away, I aimlessly flip through the calendar on the wall to distract myself.
Tyler grins devilishly and starts mixing several different liquors in a tall glass. “You’re gonna like this one, it’s my fave.
Long Island Ice Tea.”
He finishes shaking it and hands me the cold tall glass beading with condensation. I take a long sip and feel the rush of alcohol hit my system immediately.
“Elle, slow down. That’s five different shots in there!” His eyes widen in surprise.
“Good!” I reply. “I’m gonna go mingle.” I take the rest of the drink and head out to the balcony to get some air and to nurse the rest of my beverage alone while listening to Imagine Dragons.
What was I thinking? Why am I surprised?
This is great. I’m mingling alone with my thoughts.
“Hey.” Startled, I turn, lifting my eyes to meet Cane’s tortured brown ones. He looks handsome wearing a gray shirt and black jeans. “You look great tonight. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I saw you walk in. I lost my hand so I could come and talk to you.” He swallows painfully, cupping the back of his neck. “How are you?”
Looking at him now, memories come flooding back, and there’s a dull pain in my heart for him. I don’t want to feel this way but it’s still so fresh. I know it’ll take a long time for it to disappear completely. “Hi.” I sit my drink down on the table and give him a hug. “I’m doing well. How are you?”
“I’m surviving,” he whispers, pulling away. His eyes burn with regret, and as I feel emotions rise in my throat, I look away. “I’m sorry I hurt you,
again.
” His voice is broken.
“Not now, Cane. We already talked about this,” I murmur, trying to fight back tears.
“I know, but seeing you here, I just had to talk to you. But I’m not going to stay,” he says softly in a strangled whisper.
“Why?” I ask. Part of me wants him to stay. I miss him. A part of me always will.
“If I can’t be with you, then I’d rather not be here. It hurts too much to see you, to know that I’m the one that fucked everything up between us. I know me being here makes you uncomfortable, and I don’t want to do that to you.” He leans in kissing my forehead. “I had my chance,
two
chances. I’ll always love you,” he whispers. I lower my head and bite my lip to stop the tears that want to erupt. He lifts my chin and looks into my eyes, “Don’t. I didn’t come out here to make you cry.” He brushes the back of his hand over my cheek.
I close my eyes, feeling his arms around me, knowing that if I move I’m going to cry angry tears, sad tears. “I’m the only one who should be crying,” he murmurs into my hair, holding me for what seems like forever. Stepping back, I see his pain. He turns away from me angrily jamming his hands through his hair as he walks out of the apartment. I want to run after him to say that we can try again. Why do I feel like I’ve made the wrong decision again?
Don’t go there. These things take time.
I thought parties were where you come to have a good time, but here I stand lost, battling with conflicting emotions about two guys; one I barely know and want to get to know, and one who I can’t be with but don’t want to let go. I know it’s going to take time to get over Cane, but add in Reed and the emotions he draws out of me, and I have myself a complicated emotional state. It’s a situation that I’m not enjoying now or could ever. How do you go from feeling jealousy for some guy you barely even know to emotional wrenching pain for your ex in mere minutes?
I’m so frustrated now that I just want to leave. This wasn’t a good idea. Tyler. Where’s Tyler? I finish my drink and reenter the party. A large crowd has assembled around the card table and Reed is the center of attention with the largest pile of winnings and, of course, surrounded by girls. I can’t deal with this shit. I make a beeline for the kitchen and start mixing up a bunch of alcohol, adding a shot of Coke. Like that will water down my drink. I vigorously shake the concoction and throw my head back to drink it.
“Hmmm, what do you plan on doing with that drink? Rub some paint off a car?”
I know the voice and angrily spin around. “Why do you care?” My voice is hard, but my insides collapse, seeing how sexy he looks in a pair of faded blue jeans and black fitted henley that accentuates his toned chest. I bring my attention back to his deep blue piercing eyes that lock on mine.
“Feisty tonight, aren’t we?” Reed mocks me with one brow raised.
God, he’s fine.
I’m too angry to blush, too angry to be embarrassed. “Don’t you have a card game to win?” I say, annoyed and excited at the same time.
“Nope, I was just playing a friend’s hand for him.” He shoots me a sexy smirk and takes a step toward me. “What has you so frustrated tonight?” His voice is mesmerizing, sensual.
You, damn it, you. And all the damn girls you seem to attract and that damn Texas accent. Everything!
“
I just need another drink.” I throw back my head and empty my glass. Clearly underestimating the power of the drink being absorbed in my empty stomach, I stagger, grabbing the granite countertop for balance
.
He takes a step towards me, extending his hand to help me, but I wave him away. “I’m fine!” I snap. “I’m a big girl.”
“Yes, you are
fine
.
”
He smiles, raking his eyes over my body. “But a light weight nonetheless. Look–” he gestures up and down with his hand, “–you’re barely able to stand up after one drink.” He chuckles, crossing his arms across his amazing chest as he leans up against the counter.
“This is number two for your information!” I reach over to take a playful swipe at him and completely miss; losing my balance, he catches me around the waist before I crash to the floor
. Isn’t this what you want? So why the hell are you fighting?
“Whoa, there!” he laughs. “I like the fire in you.” His blue eyes study me. “It kinda turns me on.” He rasps. His words and his fingertips touching my skin send a jolt through me. He slowly lifts me, clutching me close to his body while never losing eye contact with me.
“What’s going on in here?” The blonde who I saw him talking to earlier appears in the doorway pouting and pissed.
“Oh, this
one
is trying to box me tonight. I’m just trying to restrain her.” Reed smiles charmingly. I punch his chest, trying to push him away, but it’s futile as his grip tightens. “You’re not going anywhere, doll,” he whispers sweetly in my ear. “You don’t mind if I call you that do ya?” Adrenaline rushes through me as the heat between our bodies overpowers me, conscious of how close his lips are to mine. He glances back up at the blonde. “I’ve got everything under control in here.”
“Fine,” she snaps, clearly annoyed that Reed is not giving her the time of day. “Just letting you know that they’re starting a new deck. You in?”
“Give me a minute,” he mumbles, shooing her away with his hand. He slowly pulls me away at arm’s length and pinches his chin, smirking as he sizes me up.
“Are you always so charming?” I retort, straightening my skirt. Glancing up, I’m distracted by his body again and his faultless face.
“Are you always so difficult?” He counters. I purse my lips, crossing my arms across my chest and glaring at him. “We seem to be getting off on the wrong foot tonight. Do you want to rewind and start over?” He questions with amusement, raising that eyebrow again.
“From what point?” I’m feeling frustrated but ready to play along.
“From the time you walked through my front door.” He’s entertained by my look of surprise and laughs out loud. I blush knowing that he’s been watching me and flattered that he was looking for me. “Yeah, I noticed you the second you walked in. I told you the party wasn’t going to start until
you
got here, doll.” He leans in and brushes away a piece of hair that falls in front of my eye.
Doll? Normally I would complain, but it’s kind of cute the way he says it with his sexy drawl. I’m feeling like the center of his world right now, but I’m not sure how much confidence I should put into this. He’s good at the game; I already know that. The question is do I have it in me to play along?
Taking my hand, he winks. “Come on. Let’s go play some cards. Maybe you’re my lucky charm.”
Tyler’s already at the table winning and the same blonde that was hanging on Reed has become Tyler’s new accessory. He seems to like that part way too much as I notice him squeezing her thigh. I give him a tight smile from across the table, and he shoots me the biggest grin. I can’t help but laugh. Reed walks to the empty seat next to him and motions with his eyes for me to stand next to him.
“I have a good feeling about you,” he whispers, squeezing my hand before he sits down. A thrill rushes through me when his breath touches the skin on my neck, “All right boys, who’s ready to lose? I’m feeling lucky tonight.” He mocks them, shooting me an appreciative look as the dealer starts dealing cards.
After watching Reed win a couple of hands, I head back into the kitchen to grab a beer and then make my way out onto the balcony with Evelyn to get some fresh air.
“So, what’s the deal with you and the birthday boy?” She nudges my arm and smiles coyly.
“Nothing.” I respond casually, looking out over the park to avoid her eyes. “What makes you think something’s going on?” I ask, taking a cautious sip of beer. I’m not sure Evelyn is the best person to share something with about Reed or anything else when I’m still trying to figure things out. Another reason would be she has a tendency to let certain pieces of private information leak.
“Come on! Are you kidding me? I see the way he looks at you.” She chirps.
“Hey, doll.” Reed croons; I swoon. He steps onto the balcony rewarding me with a smile. I feel like my knees are going to give out from his endearment and his stunning smile.
“Can I get one of those killer smiles?” Evelyn giggles, giving Reed a flirtatious hip bump.
“What’s up, Evelyn?” He gives her a curt glance pinning his eyes back on me.
“So, looks like you and Tyler cleaned house tonight.” I say. My eyes keep drifting to his broad chest and those striking lips. The effect he has on me is magical. I’m turning into a hot mess right before his eyes. How embarrassing.
“Yeah, I never knew that your best friend was a card shark. That’s good information to have.” His eyes glimmer dangerously as he takes the beer from my hand. “You don’t mind if I take a sip of your beer, do ya?” He winks, placing the beer to his lips before I can answer and takes a long drink. I hold my breath imagining his mouth on mine. He stares at me the whole time he drinks from my beer, as if he knows what I’m thinking. I think my body temperature just spiked a hundred degrees.