Breaking Elle (56 page)

“How do you always know what I need?” I ask, my voice thick with emotion as I look out over the peaceful ocean, feeling the mist from the waves on my body. I curl my toes in the warm white sand, feeling it slip over my skin.

“Years of practice.” He laughs, smiling charmingly as he looks down at me, placing his arm around my shoulder.

“I’m an open book to you, aren’t I?” I smile, watching as the muted golden rays splash across his face. As he pulls me closer to him, I see several emotions pass over his features: anger, pain, sorrow, happiness as he looks towards the horizon. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. If I should wait, or just push ahead and just see what life brings my way. I’ve been learning things the hard way, just as I always have. I have to learn to accept that Reed may not have wanted the same things and may not have meant what he said. I know what I felt at the time, and it felt amazing and deep down, I hope that he felt for me what I felt for him. I saw it in his eyes; I sensed it in his every touch. That’s what I want to remember.

“Yes, but I’m in almost all the chapters, so I have an unfair advantage,” he says as he cocks his head to the side. “Best chapters of my life so far.” His brown eyes sparkle in the sunlight hits as he looks down at me with selfless eyes. He shrugs, glancing back over the water.

“Mine, too. You’re like that knight in shining armor thing, aren’t you?” I inhale softly, watching the sun cross the horizon as I wait for him to answer. “Do you need a minute?” I whisper, gazing at his profile.

He turns and smiles warmly, brushing my hair behind my shoulder. I search his handsome face, knowing how much he cares for me, how much I mean to him, and how extremely difficult it is for him to see me this way.

“Not really.” He lifts my chin to him and looks at me with his perfect brown eyes. This time when I kiss him, it’s not out of curiosity.

The damn throbbing in my head jars me awake. Fuck. My body is swathed in pain. I need some drugs to take it away. What is that smell? I hate that smell. That beeping is fucking annoying me. I need someone to punch the snooze button. I hear voices echoing in my head as if they are speaking through an endless tunnel. I try focusing on the voices so I can understand what they are saying, but I’m not catching enough to make any sense.

“Broken... Lucky... worse...”

I’m surprised that I’m still alive. I don’t know how I managed that, what I said, or what I did to be here even in all this pain, but I’ll take it over being six feet under somewhere. I remember my life flashing in front of me, all the important people in my life that I let down, the feel of the gun against my temple, and then everything went black.

An airy laugh fills the room and it sounds familiar. I blink several times to open my swollen eyes to adjust them to the light in the room, making out the fuzzy images of Juju, Tommy, and a doctor holding a clip board. Looks like I’m in the same depressing room that my mother stayed in, with the same pale white walls, with a pair of balloons floating above me, and a couple of flower arrangements. I laugh, wondering if Jerry sent me one of the arrangements. A guy has to have a sense of humor.

I clutch my head with my hand to try and contain the pounding pain that seems to cut through my skull every time I move. I attempt to sit up, but a searing pain rushes up the right side of my body, forcing me back on my pillow, and I clutch my arm to my ribs to restrain the growing ache. I notice that I am wearing the same type of pale blue gown that my momma was wearing a few short days ago, but it feels like years since I’ve seen her.

“Reed.” I recognize the sound of my sister’s voice and turn to it; her face fills my hazy eyes. She lights up the room with her dazzling smile and the pale yellow dress she’s wearing. She looks like a ray of sunshine.

“Hey.” I half smile, exhaling heavily. My throat is raw. I need a drink and my jaw is sore from all the punches I endured. I can’t imagine what I look like covered in bruises. Caleb was probably enjoying the fact that he wiped the shit-eating grin off my face. “How long have I been here?” I ask as Juju pours me a cup of water. I immediately gulp the water down when she hands me the cup.

“A couple of days. You really got beat up,” Tommy answers. “Couple of broken ribs, broken arm, and a concussion. All in a day’s work for you,” Tommy chuckles, standing on the other side of the bed. I try to laugh but can’t, tightening my arm across my ribs instead from the pain that seems to push through every part of my body.

“Stop it, Tommy,” Juju says, giving him a pointed look. “It could have been worse.”

“Sorry little one.” He winks at her, and she blushes a sweet shade of red. I catch the look in my sister’s eye when she smiles back at Tommy, and I instantly miss Elle. I need to get out of here and call her. I need to get back to her.

“How did I get here?” I groan, anxiously stretching my legs below me, the only part of my body that not affected by the attack, which is a blessing since I can’t have anything happen to my knee again.

“You weren’t answering your phone, and Tommy found you at the hotel. You were robbed.” My sister answers as I glance over at Tommy. “You need to stay with me and Momma from now on. There are some crazy people out there.” I try to rebut, but she places her finger in front of my lips. “Case closed. It’s a done deal. I need my brother. You’re staying with us from now on. No more seedy hotels.”

I grin, knowing that I have no say in this. I know I won’t win the argument with her, and I’m fine with that. I glance back over at Tommy who smiles and scratches his head; we definitely need to talk about details because I don’t remember anything.

“Does Momma know?” I ask, glancing away to look up at Juju.

“God no!” Juju explains. “Do you know what this would do to her? Can’t tell her something like this in her condition.” I watch her bright eyes grow moon size and her brow crease.

“Speaking of condition. When can I get out of here?” I ask, staring at the thin gangly doctor hovering at the foot of the bed.

“A couple more days and you’ll be all set to check out,” the doctor replies reassuringly, as he places the clipboard under his arm and the pen in the pocket of his white coat. I smile at him and laugh, thinking he kind of looks like Dr. House but without the fucked up attitude. I pay the price for it, courtesy of my broken ribs, cringing as I feel the pain race up and down my body

“We’ll give you some more pain killers for that. You might feel sleepy, but if you want to get out of here, that’s what you need to do,” the doctor decrees.

“I’m okay with that, Doc.” I smile. “What about this?” I say, slowly raising my bandaged arm. “How long do you think I’ll be in this cast?”

“Give it about six weeks for both the ribs and the arm. You’re lucky they weren’t bad breaks.”

Fuck. I can’t wait that long to get back to Elle, but I can’t have her seeing me this way. I can call her and let her know that I’m okay. I hope she’ll understand.

“How does it feel to be released into the wild again?” Tommy says as we burst through the hospital doors out into the hot Texas sun.

“Feels good. Really good,” I reply. I rise from the wheelchair, shielding my eyes from the sun while inhaling the fresh morning air. My lungs are singing right now. The hospital clogged every inch of my body with that sterile lifeless air. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you, but since they were pumping all of them painkillers in me for the past couple days, I was in a drug induced fog and didn’t remember shit.”

“What’s up?” He asks, pushing the wheelchair back to the waiting attendant and falls in stride with me as we walk to his truck.

“Who came up with that robbery story?” I deliberately make eye contact. “I know you don’t have an imagination to come up with something like that. Too many moving parts for you to put that together.” I laugh, punching him on the shoulder.

“Hell. I made that story up. I didn’t want to face your sister. It’s hard keeping her in the dark about anything. She’s always asking questions.” Abruptly raking his hand through his hair, he glances at me. “Dude, I heard everything on your phone that night. It was some scary shit. I didn’t know what to do. After I heard all that, I went straight to the hotel, and you weren’t there. I waited all night, man. I didn’t know what the fuck happened to you.” He glances away and hesitantly turns back to me. My gut tightens when I see his nervous expression. “I even called Elle to see if you talked to her and well... she didn’t take what I had to say too well.”

“Shit Tommy, you called her?” I whisper harshly, rubbing my head in frustration.

“Yeah, man.” He frowns. “I didn’t know you didn’t tell her,” he says, raising his eyebrows.

“Fuck.” I stop, pacing back and forth in the parking lot, raking my hands through my hair. I soak in his every word, imagining what Elle was thinking when she got the call. “What did you tell her?” I say pointedly.

“That you were in trouble, man, and that’s all she needed to hear.”

“Damn.” I mumble, thinking I took the gamble, and I lost with her, too.

“Then the next night I got a call on your phone from someone named Caleb saying they just dumped you back at the hotel. You know I was in the truck in seconds to get you,” he says, as he makes his way around the truck and pulls out his fob to unlock the doors.

“Caleb.” I laugh, remembering the little punk.

“You told them something about the money you had in Boston, too. Do you remember that?” He questions, as we stop in front of his truck.

“I don’t really remember anything from that night, but I know the only ones that know about that cash are you and I. So it must have come from me to save my own ass when I was getting the beat down.”

“They said if they get that money, they’ll wait for you to get the rest of it when you sign that NFL contract that you’ve been banking on, and they won’t hurt anyone.” He smiles, sliding his hands in his pockets. “You plan on still trying out, right?”

“Definitely. Probably in April,” I answer, scrubbing the back of my neck. Thinking that far ahead is making my head hurt. I need to focus on my current problems with Elle.

“Well, that right there is almost a guarantee for you.” Tommy stops and clears his throat. “So, what’s the plan now? How do we get that money?” Tommy asks.

“You need to go to Boston, get that cash, and bring it back. I can’t go back and risk Elle seeing me like this.” I breathe roughly, squinting into the Texas sun, and welcome the warm rays on my bruised tired skin.

I can’t stop the tears of guilt that spring to my eyes when I think about her. That’s all I’ve been doing these past couple days since she hasn’t taken my calls. It’s impossible to keep my mind on anything but her. I remember the last time my eyes took her in at the airport, knowing that I wouldn’t get to touch her for five long days, but now it’s going to be longer than that. Maybe never. I recall her reaction to when she found out about me and part of my life back home. How do I explain this shit to her if she’s not picking up her phone? She’s probably already made her decision.

I just want to explain. If I can do that, I’ll be happy. I might be able to walk away and leave her alone so that she can go on with her life. The thought of not seeing her, being without her, hurts me more than I can handle and is a thought I wish I didn’t have to entertain.

I saw the pain in her eyes so often, and it destroyed me every fucking time. I had to witness that shit, and feel the rage that would burn inside of me, not even knowing what was causing her all of that suffering. Now I’m not there to protect her, to hold her like I want, like I told her I would over and over again. Now I’m the one she probably needs to be shielded from. I never meant to do this to her. I want her to know that. I was going to go back and come clean, but like everything else in my life, others seem to dictate my path for me. I know that I somewhat have a hand in that too.

Tommy drags me from reverie. “So, you haven’t talked to her?”

“She won’t take my calls. I don’t blame her. I majorly fucked up. I shouldn’t bother going back, not until this is all said and done. I can’t risk anything.”

“He agreed not to do anything if he got the money.”