Breaking Even (7 page)

Sarah ignored them, watching Rocky as if
he were the best thing she had seen in months. At least she had moved on from
looking at Ric like he could be her last meal.

Lindsey finished her second cider about
the time Rocky took a break and nudged to Ric that she was ready to go. They
said their good-byes and made their way downstairs.

Ric was right. Downstairs, the bar was ten
deep, and everyone crowded around. The few lucky enough to have tables or seats
on the couches were moving. Ric pushed through, holding onto Lindsey’s hand and
pulling her in his wake.

“Lindsey! Over here!”

Lindsey turned when she heard her name and
saw one of the guys from the fencing club.

“Who is that?” Ric asked.

“Just a guy I met at fencing. Let’s go
speak,” she told Ric, pulling him toward the back of the bar. She could feel
Ric bristle beside her like a dog sensing another animal on his turf.

“Ric, this is Cayden, the president of the
local fencing club. Cayden, this is my boyfriend Ric Salzana.”

Cayden’s eyes widened at the mention of
Ric’s name. “Were you at the U.S. Fencing Championship in 2012?”

“I was,” Ric said, giving a short bow in
acknowledgment.

“That was an amazing match. To lose in the
finals like that. Wow.”

“It was a tough match, but I was proud to
be there,” Ric said. “How long have you been fencing?”

“Ten years. I love it, but I’ve never
managed to make it past regionals.”

Ric fished a business card out of his
wallet. “Email me. I don’t have time this trip, but the next time I visit
Lindsey I can look at your form and offer pointers.”

“Wow. Thank you. We tried to get Lindsey
to train with us, but she said she doesn’t have the time.”

“My game has gotten rusty,” Lindsey
admitted.

“Well, we are all still learning, and you
almost beat Lilah, who is our best woman player.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Ric said.

“Almost doesn’t matter,” Lindsey argued.
“Cayden, good to see you again.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Ric echoed.

“Likewise. And Lindsey, come back to the
club. We’d love to have you.”

“I’m not making any promises, but I will
try.” She smiled to soften the words, having no intention in joining them. She
couldn't keep her head above water now.

When they opened the door to go outside,
the heat rushed at them like they had opened an oven door. Lindsey’s glasses
fogged up completely, and she pulled them off. Now that it was dark, the
sidewalks were even more crowded with students heading in and out of bars. They
held hands and didn’t even try to talk until they were at the car. Lindsey
enjoyed his comforting grip on her hand as they navigated the crowds.

She leaned against her car door and looked
up at him. He reached out and idly traced her nose and the small indent that
her glasses had left.

“You are so beautiful—with or without your
glasses. Your eyes are so expressive. How could you ever wear those horrible
blue-colored contacts?”

Lindsey felt her face warm at the compliment.
He remembered the fake contact lenses she had worn when they first met. “And
you don’t miss the platinum hair? I can dye it you know.”

“God no. Even before I realized it was a
wig, the color didn’t suit you.”

“And mousy brown does?” she said, but it came
out more bitter than she intended. She buried her face in his shirt,
embarrassed.

“Mousy brown? All I see is warm chestnut.”
His finger lifted her chin up. “I love your hair.” She thought he was going to
kiss her, but he pulled back.

“You have men left and right chasing after
you. Should I be jealous of this Cayden?”

Lindsey laughed. “No, I think Cayden has
his own boyfriend. At least, that was the impression that I got.”

“Why didn’t you continue with the club?”

“The timing didn’t work. Besides, I’ve got
you. I don’t need to train with them.”

“I’m not here all the time. If you want to
train with them, I don’t mind.” He paused for a moment and squeezed her hands.
“That’s the first time you introduced me as your boyfriend.”

“You seemed upset earlier. I’m not ashamed
of you.” Lindsey’s voice broke as she said the last few words.

“I know you’re not, and I’m sorry I let my
temper get the best of me earlier. It’s hard to navigate this—what we have—but
I’d still like to try.”

Lindsey leaned into him, feeling like a
cat rubbing against a scratching post. “Me, too,” she said, stretching on her
toes.

“Let’s go back to your house.”

#

At least Lindsey
’s rental house
was a decent size. Ric's last year in graduate school, he had lived in a garage
converted into a tiny apartment. That place was out of hot water more often
than not. He still shuddered at the memories. He could have paid for better,
but he hadn’t wanted to dip into his inheritance from his mother. He had saved
everything he could to launch his resort.

“What are you thinking about?” Lindsey
asked when he was slow to get out of the car.

“Just remembering the dump I lived in when
I was getting my Master’s. This is a nice house. I wish it had a security
system, but I'm sure it will be fine."

She rolled her eyes. “It’s a safe
neighborhood. I’ll be fine. I wanted something a little bit less like an
apartment. That’s one of the reasons I jumped on the idea of a roommate.”

“But you have the money from winning the
tournament,” he reminded her.

“I know, but that’s for a rainy day, or to
get me started later. Not for general expenses.”

He understood her all too well. That was
exactly how he had felt in Atlanta. He couldn’t help it if every fiber of him
wanted to protect her and support her. He knew she liked being independent, and
she wasn’t ready for a big commitment. He just had to be patient.

He wished he felt better about Ben and
Scott Morton. Neither had done anything overt to make him not trust them, but
he didn’t. It didn’t help that Scott had turned the color of his white shirt
when he heard the name Salzana. Since Ric knew he hadn’t had any dealings with
the man, it must be his cousin.

When Ric had met the Mortons earlier, the
area between his shoulder blades itched like it was on fire. He never ignored
the itching sensation between his shoulder blades. The premonitions had saved
his life more than once.

While Lindsey took a shower, Ric slipped
into Ben’s bedroom. Just a quick glance in a few drawers told him what he
needed to know. He found drug paraphernalia and bottles of pills. In the
closet, he stumbled onto a padlocked camouflage duffel bag. He would bet
serious money that the bag held marijuana or other drugs. He left the room
exactly as he had found it and returned to Lindsey’s bedroom, his heart pounding.
With that big of a stash, Ben had to be dealing.

He froze when he saw the picture of them
on the nightstand. She had taken the selfie when they were walking on the
beach. He loved the picture, but the frame she had chosen had the words
“Friends Forever” across the bottom.

Friends? The word cut like a sabre in the
hands of a master. How could she think that, after everything? She couldn’t
have been any clearer about how she saw them. Why was he even here?

Lindsey came out of the shower, wrapped in
a soft pink robe that outlined her nipples. He pushed that thought away. He
needed time to think.

“After traveling all day, I’ll take a
quick shower too,” he said, grabbing his shaving kit.

In the shower, Ric decided not to tell
Lindsey about the drugs in Ben’s bedroom. If she knew about his snooping, it
would damage their fragile, budding relationship.

The solution hit him as he dried off, and
he couldn't believe he didn’t think of it sooner. Fox had given Ric a business
card. When he returned to Calliope, he would tell Fox about Ben’s little stash.
Fox and Laura would handle it.

What was it about Lindsey? Every time he
took one step forward she knocked him two steps back. He thought they had a
breakthrough standing at his car, but then they came back here and he saw that
picture frame. He wanted her in his life as more than his friend. He wanted her
to be his partner. Unfortunately, he had no idea what she wanted.

Lindsey couldn
’t stop fidgeting.
She checked the lock on the front door for the second time. After all that time
sitting at the bar, now she had the munchies. She picked up two water bottles
and a bag of chips as she went through the kitchen.

She always got the munchies when she was
nervous. Wasn’t that how everything had started? Ric hadn't paid attention to
her until she turned house arrest into an impromptu floor picnic.

When he had sat down with her on the floor
and played cards with her, she had seen him eye to eye. She had connected with
him as a person, instead of this looming man who had dragged her into the
elevator. Her feelings couldn’t be Stockholm Syndrome if she still felt the
same way a month later, could they? He had no control over her now.

Laura could speculate about what had
happened, but Ric had never threatened her. He had been a perfect gentleman.
Annoying, but a gentleman nonetheless.

Lindsey may be the only girl in her
generation to graduate from Florida State as a virgin. Since her mother's
boyfriend had attacked her, she didn't want men to touch her. She managed
handshakes, but in general she avoided incidental contact.

If it was a man she had liked, Ben for
example, the three-foot radius shrank. With Ben, at first she thought she would
have a chance. He didn’t bring about the withdrawal that she usually felt
inside when she got near men. But then he had kissed her and she felt nothing,
just the sensation of lips touching lips. Passion didn’t flare for either of
them, and Ben never tried again. Neither of them had ever mentioned it.

Even with Ric, as much as she liked him,
sometimes the panic flared. She would be sitting with him, happy as she could
be, holding hands. The sensation would become too much, her skin would start to
crawl, and she would pull back. It had happened less often the more she got to
know him, but she lived in fear that it would happen again.

The water turned off just as she came into
the bedroom. She had glad that her bedroom had an in suite bathroom. Now she
locked the door and set the water bottles and chips on the nightstand. She
couldn’t decide which light to leave on. The overhead light was too bright, and
the reading lamp in the corner was even worse. She finally settled on the small
lamp beside the bed. Maybe less light would help calm her nerves. She got into
bed and pulled the cover up.

She didn’t own sexy sleepwear. She put on
a long T-shirt, so worn it was almost sheer, with nothing underneath.

She looked around her room, happy with the
furnishings she had chosen. She had picked a queen-sized sleigh bed, with a
matching bureau and dresser. Finally, she had grown-up furniture. Her comforter
and the matching valances were honey gold trimmed with deep purple.

The bathroom door drifted open just enough
for the ceiling fan to pull steam into the bedroom. Lindsey heard the snapping
sounds from the towel as he dried off. More sounds, accompanied by clicking and
zippers. More water running. What was he doing? Why wouldn’t he come to bed?

Now the sounds came together as she heard
him brushing his teeth. So much for the chips. Lindsey took a deep breath. It
wouldn’t be long.

Another zipper sound and Ric stood in the
doorway, a dark silhouette with the light behind him.

What was it about a man in a towel that
brought women to their knees? It covered more than a bathing suit for heaven’s
sake. Seeing Ric in a towel, Lindsey thought she knew.

Maybe it was the casualness of it: the
towel slung across, half-tucked, tan line peeking. Perhaps it was the intimacy
of his gaze and the thought that the towel could come down in a flash.

“Can you turn the bathroom light off?”

“If that’s what you want.” He reached
behind him and the ribbon of light coming through the steam vanished. She had
left just enough light so he could see the placement of the furniture.

“Last time you took a shower before bed, I
was asleep when you came out.” Lindsey reminded him of that short night on the
island when he had stayed with her.

“You were.” He crossed the room to where
his bag rested on a chair.

“I’m not asleep now.” Lindsey tried to
sound inviting, but it came out sounding petulant.

“No, you’re not. I left my shorts in my
bag,” he explained.

“It’s okay. Come to bed.” She patted the
bed beside her, but he continued to rummage in the leather duffel.

“Just a minute,” he said absently. She
watched as he pulled a T-shirt over his head. She thought he would drop the
towel, but instead he sat down and pulled on shorts under it. Who does that?
She watched, bemused, as he returned to the bathroom to hang up the towel.

He came back to bed and slid in beside
her. He turned on his side, his arm propping him up. His expression stayed in
shadow. When he smiled, some of her tension eased. Lying beside him in the
darkness, she didn’t feel the weight of his expectations.

Lindsey gathered her courage. “I’m more
comfortable around you now. You didn’t have to get dressed.”

He squeezed her hand. “I thought you would
feel better if I kept something on.”

“Yes, but—”

“Nothing has to happen tonight. We can
just cuddle.”

Lindsey’s smile faded a little. She
trusted him, if that was his concern. She reached for his shoulder, but
encountered his cotton shirt. Wanting to touch him and not his shirt, she
touched his forearm.

“I know, but I’m feeling better. I want to
try.” The sound of his breath in and out was comforting. He wasn’t as immune to
her charms as he wanted her to think.

“I’m old fashioned. I’d like there to be
something more between us before we take that step.”

Lindsey lay back, frustrated. She couldn’t
believe the turn this had taken. “You’re not waiting for marriage.”

“You’re right, but I’ve already had sex
before. I’m a good bit older than you.”

“Sounds like a double standard to me,” she
grumbled.

“No, that’s not it. I did have casual sex
when I was younger. But that’s not where I am in my life right now. I’d like us
both to be sure that we want a relationship before we take that step.”

Overwhelmed, Lindsey felt the tears
welling behind her eyes. She would not cry over this. “Yes, but everything is
so complicated. You live down there. I’m up here. I’ve just started this degree
program—”

“Yes to all those things, all reasons why
we should wait. This thing between us, whatever it is, is too unsettled right
now.”

How could he sound so calm and even when
Lindsey felt like she could come apart at the seams? “I’m not ready to get
married,” she said, pouting.

“I know. And that’s okay too. When you’re
ready for us to be together, you’ll know it.” Lindsey didn’t respond, so he
continued. “I want you any way I can get you, and if that means taking it slow,
I’m good with that. No pressure, no regrets.
Bien
?”

She lay down, her head on the pillow now,
just beneath him.

“I trust you,” she whispered. She traced
his shoulders with her fingertips. She thrilled at the power there, knowing
that he held himself in check for her. Someday soon she hoped he wouldn’t hold
himself back. “I want us to be together. I don’t want to keep pushing you away.”

“You’re not.” He leaned closer and their
lips met with just a touch before he kissed her properly. “There are other
things we can do, other areas to explore.”

Lindsey pulled him towards her. She wanted
to kiss him. She teased his lips with just a touch. He tasted of mint, but she
caught a whiff of beer on his breath.

Their legs shifted closer. Lindsey felt
the tension leave her. She relaxed into his arms.

Ric’s kiss felt tentative at first, but
then it deepened. Desire surged through her, edging out the last bit of fear.
The sheet tented above Ric’s shoulders, cocooning them together. Lindsey didn’t
need the warmth, but she savored the extra feeling of security.

When he turned on his side Lindsey slid
closer. She snuggled under his neck, leaving feather light kisses along his
collarbone.

“You know you drive me crazy.” Ric’s voice
sounded tortured. She smiled against his skin.

“Good. Then we’re even.”

His hands traced her back, massaging and
kneading until she wanted to purr. She could feel his heat through her thin
cotton top, and her nerves weren’t begging her for isolation. It was a start.

She heard jingling keys outside her
window. She recognized the sounds of Ben coming in late, but Ric stiffened. She
heard his boots across the wooden boards of the porch and his key turning in
the lock.

“It’s just Ben coming in. Ignore him,”
Lindsey said.

Despite her attempt to smooth over Ben’s
arrival, Ric rolled over on his back. He left his arm up so she could slide in
beside him, but the fun, playful mood had shattered.

“He won’t bother us,” Lindsey said, her
voice low. She could hear cabinets banging open and dishes rattling. What was
he doing? She was about to reach over and turn on the radio to block his noise
when there was a loud knock on bedroom door.

“What is it?” she said, irritated.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

At Ric’s questioning glance, Lindsey
shrugged. “Can’t it wait?”

“No. It will just take a minute.”

She pushed out the breath she had been
holding in a huff. “I don’t know what he wants. I won’t be but a minute.”

She got up, turned the lights back on, and
slipped into her robe. Ric’s lips tightened, but he didn’t offer an opinion.

She walked into the kitchen to see Ben
making a sandwich. He put the food up and turned to talk to her.

“What do you want that couldn’t wait?” She
eyed Ben critically. He looked rough. His shirt with the bar’s logo smelled
like beer and his hair wouldn’t stay out of his eyes.

“When we were closing tonight, Scott said
some interesting things about your friend.”

“What are you talking about?” Why would
Scott know anything about Ric?

“I’m talking about your friend, Ric.
According to Scott, Ric is part of a pretty scary crime family. You do not want
to be involved with him.”

“That’s ridiculous. Ric is one of the
kindest, gentlest people I know.”

“Well, he’s not who he says he is, so I
would be careful.”

“Don’t you worry about it,” Lindsey said.
“I know what I am doing.” She turned to go back to Ric.

“Apparently not,” he muttered under his
breath. Lindsey ignored him and kept walking.

Back in her room, the door was open, but
it might have done that on its own. Ric sat up in bed messing with his phone.

“What was that all about?”

“A whole lot of nothing. Don’t worry about
it.”

He grunted and looked up from his phone
with a scowl. “Why did they close so early anyway? It’s not even two in the
morning yet.”

“Blue laws. Bars have to close at midnight
on Saturday night. Can’t be open on Sunday.”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

Lindsey shrugged. “That’s the default in
South Carolina. Some touristy areas have different laws that allow it, but most
don’t. I thought it was odd when I first got here, but since I’m not a big
drinker, it didn’t matter that much to me.”

He stood up, throwing the covers off his
legs. "I'll be right back."

“Where are you going?”

“I left my charger in my car.” He grabbed
his keys and went out. Lindsey suppressed the completely irrational fear that
he would drive off and leave her. She had no reason to think that, since his
things were still in the house. From the set of his shoulders, he looked like
he would just as soon get in his car, drive away, and never come back.

He was gone at least ten minutes. While
she waited, she heard voices on the porch. Great. He and Ben were going back
and forth. She heard something slam against wood. She thought she would have to
intervene, but he came back. She watched while he closed and locked her door.

“Got your charger?”

“Sure do.” He plugged in his phone and
laid his keys on the nightstand. “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. You
want me to turn off the light?”

“That’s fine.”

“What was that sound on the porch?” she
asked.

“Chair fell over.”

“Oh.” Lindsey didn’t believe for a minute
that a chair fell over outside. She looked for an opening, but from his tone
guessed he didn’t want to talk about it

With the light off, she felt rather than
saw him get back into bed. Lindsey had already stretched out, and now she lay
beside him, having no idea what she should do. He pulled the cover up and
turned over on his stomach, facing away from her.

“Good night, Lindsey.”