Breaking Love Full Hearts 2 (33 page)

“Harper, calm down. Let me explain,” he ordered.

“Oh, you can explain, can you?” Harper’s voice oozed sarcasm. “Meg is sitting at home, broken-hearted, and you think you can talk your way out of this? Not fucking likely, asshole. You know what? After you pulled that bullshit cookie-cutter date in Paris, I told her she should give you the benefit of the doubt, but now I can see I was wrong. You’re just another womanizing piece of shit who used her and threw her away like so much garbage.”

“Harper, enough! I would have hung up by now if it were anyone other than Megan you were calling about. Now, I don’t know what she told you, but she
wanted
me to go.”

“
As if
she wanted you to go! She’s completely in love with you. Fucking clueless male.”

“Are you drunk?” Luc asked, his voice curt.

“No, I’m not drunk! I’m angry. You made her fall in love with you, got what you wanted and then you left her. Do you know how that makes
me
feel? Like a total shit friend. I’m the one who introduced her to you, I left her with you in Paris, thinking you’d take care of her, and now look what you’ve done to her. I can’t believe how wrong I was about you. Shit, I’m stupid!”

Luc’s jaw was set tightly, his eyes narrowed. If Harper could see him now, she would be a bit frightened. Simone walked into the office, took one look at him and backed out silently.

“Are you quite done?” he asked quietly.

“Are you sorry?” she retorted.

“Of course I’m fucking sorry!” he barked. “I’ve never felt so bad about anything in my life. I haven’t slept in weeks, I’ve stopped going to kickboxing and I barely eat! All I do is spend every waking hour thinking about Megan, wondering what I should have done differently, trying to figure out if there’s a way I can fix it, knowing she’s upset, wishing I could just go there and be with her until she feels better! I don’t need you to call me up threatening to cut off my dick. I have a conscience. Maybe Megan isn’t the only one who was caught off guard by this, did you ever consider that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I’m most likely in love with her too, but I don’t know because I’ve never felt this way before. All I know is that I’ve never been this fucking miserable or pathetic in my life. I haven’t enjoyed one single moment of anything since I got home, and I have no idea when or if I’ll ever feel better.”

Harper paused for a moment, feeling suddenly deflated by his words. “Oh. I didn’t realize.”

“Maybe you should get the other person’s side of the story before you go on a rampage next time,” Luc replied, still angry.

“Maybe.” Harper’s voice was petulant.

“What did she tell you, anyway?”

“Nothing. She just told me you two decided it was for the best you stop seeing each other. I sort of assumed the rest.”

“You just assumed I’m a total asshole despite the years we’ve known each other. You’ve added insult to injury, Harper.”

Harper sighed. When she spoke, her voice was small. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blamed it all on you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. She wanted me to go. I was planning to stay for as long as she needed help with her mom. She realized things were getting too serious and that I shouldn’t stay, so I left. I know she’s right. Better now than later, when Elliott would get hurt.”

“I don’t get it. How are both of you so sure it couldn’t work out? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“How could it work? Would they move to Paris and hang around my penthouse by themselves while I’m working nights and travelling? Or would I move to Colorado and start hosting barbecues for the other soccer parents?”

“You’re a snob, you know that? What’s wrong with Colorado?”

“You tell me. You moved away from there,” he snapped.

“That’s because of my work and my lifestyle,” she retorted.

“So you and I are not that different, then, are we?”

“But I’m happy. You’re fucking miserable, remember? Maybe you would actually love it in Boulder, hosting barbecues. How do you know if you don’t give it a try?”

“It’s not something you can experiment with!” His voice was harsh. “If it doesn’t work, three people will be badly damaged in the process, one of them a very innocent little boy who doesn’t have any say in any of it.”

“Well, now I
know
you were made for each other. You’re both too scared and stubborn to take a risk, so instead you’re going to sentence yourselves to lives of misery and loneliness.”

“We’re just too different, Harper, and neither of us is naive enough to think that we’d be able to make it work.”

“Wrong. You’re
exactly
the same. You’re a couple of idiots too scared to be in love with each other even though you’d be perfect together.”

“Listen, I know you’re just trying to help, but I have to go. I was in the middle of a meeting.”

“Luc, don’t let her get away. She could change your life. You could have it all, Luc. Everything worth having is waiting for you. You just have to go get it,” Harper pleaded.

“In Boulder,” he replied in a clipped tone.

“Does it matter where you find it, if it’s the real thing?”

“I have to go, Harper.”

“Goodbye. Sorry I threatened to cut your dick off. Call me if you need to talk, okay?”

“Don’t worry about it. And no. I can’t see myself doing that. Goodbye.”

Boulder

Later that night, Megan sat at her computer after having calculated her projected earnings for the next few months. For the first time, she was going to have some leftover money. She smiled to herself, feeling proud of her accomplishments so far that year.

“This calls for some ice cream!” she exclaimed to herself, getting up and crossing the kitchen to the freezer.

The changes she had made to her website had helped her attract more clients. Her new, higher rates didn’t seem to faze any of them, and she realized that this summer she was going to be handling four more weddings than she had during the same weeks the year before.

She thought about next winter and how she would certainly have a little extra money to put aside for Elliott’s education as well as to pay someone to take on all the tasks she hated doing. No more shovelling for her!

Her first impulse was to call Luc to tell him about it, then she remembered she couldn’t. They weren’t together anymore and nothing was going to change that. As she heaped the cold vanilla treat into a bowl, she suddenly felt depressed. She got out a package of chocolate chips and some chocolate sauce, pouring enough of each into the bowl that the ice cream was no longer visible.

Sitting back at her computer, she looked at the numbers again as she slowly ate her snack.
Okay, Meg, get back to being happy already! You’ve done something amazing here. Let yourself enjoy the moment.

Why should not having Luc in her life sully this moment for her? It didn’t change what she had done in the least. And it wouldn’t have been a big deal for a millionaire to find out she was going to have a few thousand extra, anyway. The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself it actually would have been embarrassing to talk with Luc about it.

By the time she scraped the bottom of the bowl clean, she told herself it was all for the best. It was maybe the one hundredth time she had tried to assure herself of that since they had ended things. She wondered how many more times she would have to repeat that mantra before she actually believed it.

Paris

Luc finished locking up the club and decided to walk the twenty blocks to his apartment. It was well after three in the morning, but he was nowhere near ready to face going home to his empty bed. Stuffing his hands into his coat pockets, he strode down the steps of the club, seeing the full moon lending its soft light to the city. The sight brought none of its usual comfort to him. Instead, for the thousandth time since he had hung up the phone after his last conversation with Megan, his mind wandered to that talk. She had as much as admitted that she was in love with him. It was something he knew long before she had said it. He could see it when she looked at him and feel it when they touched. He thought of their last night together, at the possessiveness he had felt when they were making love. He had never in his life felt such a strong need to be inside a woman that he had lost his self-control like that. He had always been exceedingly careful, not wanting to end up tied down with a child. But with Megan that night, he had been willing to risk it. Part of him had
wanted
to make her his forever. His desire for her was so intense it terrified him.

Kicking a rock ahead of him, he followed its path along the sidewalk, then propelled it forward over and over as he made his way home. There was something soothing about this little ritual and he was desperate for some type of distraction. Anything to get Megan off his mind. Taking in a deep lungful of the chilly night air, he swore under his breath at the heartache he bore. He needed to shake this off, and soon. After all, why did he, at forty-one, suddenly think he would want to settle down?

He thought of his conversation with Harper earlier that day. Enough time had passed for him to be over his anger at how she had spoken to him, and now her words were slowly starting to sink in.
Luc, don’t let her get away. She could change your life. You could have it all, Luc. Everything worth having is waiting for you. You just have to go get it.

What if he followed his heart for once in his life? Everything about being with Megan felt more right than anything he had ever experienced before. He thought of her laugh, her smile as she looked at him with those bright green eyes. He could picture her curled up in his arms on the couch in front of the fire—her body absolute perfection, the smell of her hair, the curve of her neck. He could feel her hands skimming over his body, lovingly, greedily, longingly. He could feel her kiss. It was like none he had known before, so soft and passionate. She could tie him up in knots with that kiss. She was the one he wanted for the rest of his life and, deep down, he knew it. There would be no one else for him.

TWENTY-FOUR

Boulder—One Month Later

Megan rushed around the house the morning of Elliot’s birthday party. She was a woman on a mission; she needed to get the decorations up, the food prepared and the tidying finished before the guests started arriving. She worked quickly and tried to appear happy and relaxed to Elliott and her mom, but inside she was a bundle of nerves. Her worst-case scenario would be if Ian showed up drunk or high. She hadn’t told Elliott that Ian was definitely coming, even after he had emailed his flight itinerary, just in case he didn’t show. Each time Elliott asked, she would say, “We’ll see. I hope so.”

Checking the time, she realized she had about forty-five minutes to get herself ready. She rushed up to her room to get showered and changed. A few minutes later, she stood wrapped in a towel in front of her closet, hair dripping on her shoulders, trying to decide what to wear. Why did it even matter so much to her? She selected a pair of dark jeans and a silk-blend, draped V-neck pullover with three-quarter-length sleeves in blood orange. She hurried to blow out her hair, deciding to leave it down for the day. Once her makeup was applied, she gave herself a once-over in the mirror, deciding she looked passable. Megan’s heart was in her throat as she jogged down the steps to make sure Elliott had put his toys away.

The doorbell rang as the first of Elliott’s friends arrived. In the next twenty minutes, Megan would greet another fifteen children from Elliott’s class and send them out to the yard to play. It was a warm day and even though they needed light jackets, they all seemed to be having fun outside. The house and yard were a buzz of activity, laughter and yelling as Megan and Helen got a couple of pitchers of lemonade ready. They didn’t hear the knock on the door, but Megan looked up when she heard Ian’s voice.

“Hello?”

There in the doorway he stood, wearing aviator glasses, jeans and a slim-fit, dark grey military-style jacket. He wore his brown hair in a crewcut as usual, and he looked young and healthy as he smiled uncertainly at Megan. In one hand he held a large gift bag, and tucked under his arm was a bouquet of flowers. Megan walked over to the front door, not entirely sure how to greet him.

“Hi, Ian.” She smiled up at him. “I’m glad you made it.”

Ian stared at Megan for a minute, as if seeing her for the first time. “Meg, you look . . . terrific,” he said quietly. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t think that was proper etiquette when seeing your ex-wife.

“Thanks. You look great yourself,” she replied warmly. Megan was filled with relief as he took off his sunglasses. His eyes were clear and he looked completely sober.

“These are for the hostess.” He handed her the flowers.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that . . . Thank you. The kids are all out back. We were just going to bring them some lemonade.”

She was interrupted by Elliott running in the back door. “DAD! You made it!” he screamed, running to his father.

Ian put the bag down beside Elliott and crouched down to scoop his son up in a hug. Elliott held on tight to his dad, burying his face in his dad’s chest and wrapping his arms around his neck. Megan felt her heart twist at the sight of it. Elliott needed this.

“Come on outside! I want my friends to meet you!” He pulled his dad’s hand and led him outside.

* * *

Several hours later, Megan was cleaning up the supper dishes as Ian read to Elliott in his room. She felt tired after the busy day but was relieved everything had worked out so well. This was the first special occasion in as long as she could remember that hadn’t been overlaid with emptiness because of Ian’s absence.

Megan plunged her hands into the hot, soapy water and started to wash the last of the glasses that wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. She suddenly felt like someone was watching her and she turned her head, seeing Ian leaning against the kitchen doorway, smiling at her. She could see the muscles in his large arms flex as he shoved his hands into his front pockets. He was still as handsome as ever.