Breath of Dragons (A Pandoran Novel) (42 page)

"I don't," Alex's tone was clipped. "But this isn't about me."

I could feel Thad's disappointment. "This way, then." He snapped the reins, and he and Vera took off again.

Alex led our horse after them, one hand on the reins and the other holding on to one of my arms encircling his waist. I rested my head against his back, in the soft place between his shoulder blades, while inhaling a mixture of rain and sweat and wet leather. It was the best aroma I'd ever smelled. I pressed my legs against the backs of his, wanting more contact—needing more contact, because he was the only thing in this world that could give me a sense of peace and security. He must have sensed this, too, because he didn't adjust his position in the saddle away from me. Instead, he removed his hand from my arm to reach back and squeeze my thigh. He put his hand back on my arm, but this time, let his forearm rest on top of mine.

We reached Thad's aforementioned sanctuary in just under an hour, with me dozing off here and there. Thankfully, we didn't intercept any trouble along the way. Thad had led us along a manicured dirt road for most of the journey, or at least the parts where I was awake, where we'd passed a few travelers and carriages, and then he'd veered off into a forest. We'd followed him along a trickling stream until we finally stopped before a fat tree with a small, dwarf-sized door in the face of it. We all dismounted, tied the horses to a couple of iron rings that had been bolted to the outside of the tree for this very purpose, and Thad led us inside.

A light sprang to life inside of a mottled glass lantern that hung from a metal rod beside the door. The room was round like the tree but much larger than it had appeared from the outside—it was another shroud. Though unlike the other shrouds I'd been inside, this one had more modern commodities and looked as though it was used frequently. As though someone lived here.

"It isn't much," Thad scratched the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed, "but you'll be safe here."

There were clothes scattered on a bed, and there was a half-eaten roll on the nightstand beside it. "
You
live here," I said.

"Sometimes." Thad hung his cloak on a hook in the wall, but not before pulling a piece of straw from it. He shoved the piece of straw in his mouth and started chewing on the end. "I, uh, had it while I was at the Academia, but I never stayed here much. Not till recently." He hesitated. "You can hang your cloak here…if you want." He motioned to another hook beside his cloak then crossed the room to throw a couple of logs in the stove.

The woodstove was in the center of the room, with piping that zigzagged at oblique angles up through the center of the tree. Heavy woolen rugs covered the floor, and there was a twin bed along one wall, a desk for writing equipped with quill and ink, a few stools, a bookshelf, and a small wardrobe cracked open because its closing had been impeded by a green shirt sleeve. There was even a plate of breads and cheeses seated atop a small table beside the stove.

Vera remained by the door, arms folded over her chest while her eyes observed Thad's every movement. Alex, however, had set our packs on the floor near the door and ambled slowly around, looking over things, running his fingers along the bookshelf and wardrobe. Investigating. But Thad didn't seem concerned by this.

"You said you'd been following us?" I hung up my cloak before stepping farther into the room.

Thad waved his hand over the logs, and flames burst to life. He dusted his hands on his pants and stood, facing me. "Yeah. Ever since you landed in the ocean."

My lips parted. "I thought I'd sensed someone following us all the way to Nyhavn, but after what happened at the Rusted Kettle, I assumed it was Rakken."

Thad shook his head as his eyes slid to Alex, who had picked up a piece of vellum and was holding it up to the light as if he were trying to uncover some kind of secret message.

"And that was you in the Rusted Kettle," I continued, turning my attention back to Thad.

"Yeah," Thad said, looking back at me. "I was planning on saying something earlier, but I, uh, wasn’t sure how I'd be received." Here, he looked pointedly at Vera, who only tightened her crossed arms and flashed Thad a threatening look. "And then Rakken and his crew showed up…I was waiting for you across the street, Rook. I was about to step in and help, but then you seemed like you had it all under control." Thad looked at me with a kind of baffled wonder.

And then I realized it was because he had seen me use magic but had assumed I couldn't do it. Just like Rakken and his crew had assumed. I folded my arms over my chest. "It's been a recent development."

"I'll say," Thad said, rubbing his hands together. "Good thing, too, or the pops would have sent a whole lot more men to capture you."

"The pops…as in your dad, my uncle. Eris," I said.

Alex sat upon a stool on the opposite side of the room, one foot resting on the floor and the other resting on one of the wooden supports, his expression unreadable as he studied Thad.

"Yeah," Thad said, staring at nothing. His cheeks splotched a little pink.

"Well, it doesn't seem to matter how many men your father sent," I continued, "because it only took
one
to take them all out." I eyed him accusingly.

His eyes widened a shade. "Rook, hold on…I didn't—"

"Did Eris send you to find us?" I demanded.

"No." Thad's expression was pleading. "I mean…sort of—"

Vera's blades scraped on their sheaths as she pulled them free.

"Whoa, whoa!" Thad held up hands "That's not what I meant. Demons and hellhounds! Listen…he sent me here to find you in case Rakken and his men failed, but I knew I wouldn't…" He pinched his lips together and looked away, taking a slow, deep breath. "I wasn't going to help him get to you, Daria." His voice was raw in a way I'd never heard it before. "I let him think I was so that he wouldn't have me followed, but I only used it as an excuse to come here to try to help you." He gazed back into my eyes, uncertain and vulnerable, and the hazel in his looked liquid, like a pool in autumn reflecting the colors of changing leaves. "You are the last person on both worlds that I ever meant to hurt, and I…I hate myself every single day for it."

Vera resheathed her swords, and I stood there, paralyzed, staring at him. Oh, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to gather up every single word he'd spoken and lock them in a box where they would be safe and no one could take them away. I wanted so badly to have my friend—my
cousin
—back. But he'd hurt me so badly. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fully recover from it. Sure, he hadn't necessarily been the one who had killed my father, but he had helped and hadn't done anything to stop it. And there was something else that didn't add up, too. "What about Thieves?" I asked. "You were there with Denn and you—"

"I was going to set you free, Daria," he said, looking straight into my eyes. "I had to keep up appearances, but I swear on all that's holy I was going to let you three go the first opportunity I got. But you escaped and I've been trying to find a way to get to you ever since. I'm not…" He paused, ruffling his hair. "I'm not just helping you now because I'm hoping to earn your trust in me. The things I've done are irreparable—I know that. I'm helping you because I have to. Because it's the only way I can live with what I've done, and because…because I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone."

This time I turned away from him. I pressed my hands to my face, covering my eyes. I thought of Thad back in Thieves, and I remembered the look on this face. It was one of deep affliction, and he hadn't fought back when I'd so viciously attacked him. In fact, he'd almost looked like he wanted it. And all the anger in the world wouldn't hide the fact that I still loved Thad. Not in the way I loved Alex—not at all. Which was good, seeing as how Thad and I were related. No, I loved Thad like I loved Stefan. Thad had always felt like family, and it was like the prodigal son returned home. But I was afraid. What if he hurt me again? What if this was another trick to draw us close and betray us again? I wouldn't survive him twice.

I sighed, pulling my hands from my face, and I looked straight at Thad. He was staring at my hip, and I realized that without my cloak, my rook-adorned sheath had become visible. When he felt me studying him, he looked up, his expression almost hopeful.

In my periphery, I saw Alex watching me.

How could so many things be communicated without words?

At last, I sat down on the floor, folded my legs and rested my elbows on my knees. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't tell Thad I'd trust him, because I didn't, but I also couldn't be angry with him any more. It was a strange circumstance to find myself in, and I was too tired to sort through it all.

"You guys hungry?" Thad asked, seemingly happy to change the subject from heavy matters. He had never been one for heart-to-hearts, and I figured he'd far surpassed his quota for, well, his entire lifetime.

No one said anything, but this didn’t keep Thad from arranging breads and meats and cheeses on a plate and passing it around. Alex didn't take anything, but Vera did, and when Thad held the plate before me, I took a piece of hard white cheese and a slice of what looked like prosciutto. "Thanks," I said.

"No problem." Thad set the plate conveniently within Alex's reach, and then came over to sit beside me, but not too close. "So," he started, mowing down on a cracker. "I'm assuming you're headed to Karth."

I met Alex's gaze, and his was filled with silent warning. "How did you know?" I asked Thad.

Thad wiped crumbs from his lips. "That's where the ol' pops thought you were headed, anyway. Not much else in Pendel besides, but you should stay away from Karth."

I was taken aback. "Who are you to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing?"

Thad shrugged, taking a bite. "Oh, I dunno. I'm only the son of the greatest threat this world has ever seen. What would I know?" The question was rhetorical, of course.

I folded my arms over my chest, ignoring the I-told-you-so look I was getting from Alex right then. "All right. Why shouldn't I go to Karth?"

Thad swallowed his bite. "Because my father has a handful of men waiting for you there. He didn't know where you would show up first. But what I can't figure is why the blazes you've brought Del Can't and Miss V all the way here when your brother is about to be attacked by the shadowguard?" He raised a brow. "Or are you running from something?"

I did not appreciate these questions, because they had answers I didn't like. And if I were being completely honest with myself, they were answers I'd been trying my hardest to avoid. Still, did I tell him the truth about why I'd come? Or did I lie about it? And then I thought that if I wanted to help my mind make a decision on the issue of Thad's loyalty, I needed to try to give him the truth and see what he did with it. I took a deep breath. "I'm trying to find the box of the Pandors," I said, earning myself a sharp glare from Alex.

"Ah." Thad nodded at his cracker. "You want to find a way to stop my father from using the shield of power."

I nodded. "Though I'm surprised the
son of the greatest threat this world has ever seen
didn't figure that out yet."

Thad's forehead wrinkled in thought. "Pops doesn't tell me
everything
. He just gives orders. You know—typical tyrant behavior. You should be well acquainted with that. I know about the box, though. You really think it's in Karth?"

Alex frowned at me. I thought he was probably wishing for that muzzle about now.

"No, I think there's someone in Karth who could point me in the right direction," I said.

Thad looked sideways at me. "Who?"

"Arioch Prime."

Thad made a face as he choked on his cracker. "
Arioch Prime
? Where did you get that ridiculous notion?"

I frowned. "Why, do you know him?"

"Not personally," Thad said, coughing down his cracker. "He's a little—" Thad whirled his pointer finger in a large loop near his ear. "Who told you to find him?"

"Tran."

Thad rolled his eyes. "Wizards," he snorted, then dusted the crumbs from his pants and leaned back on his palms.

"So? Do you know where he is?" I asked.

Thad wrinkled his nose. "
Technically
." He drew the one word out as though it were four.

"What do you mean, technically?" I asked.

"I mean he's kinda like Tran in that he can only be found if he wants to be found. I only know where his place is supposed to be."

"Can you take us there?" I asked.

"Sure, if you think I'll live that long." Thad looked deliberately at Alex, who had one arm draped easily over his waist while the other hand rested on the hilt of his sword.

I gave Alex a look that said,
Really
? Alex leveled an equally grave and silent response that said,
Yes
. And then Alex said, "Daria, are you sure you still want to go through with this? Karth will be much more dangerous than Nyhavn."

I pinched my lips together and looked away because his question was related to the questions Thad had asked—all with answers I didn't want to face. "Alex, I have to do this. It's all I have left."

Wood popped beneath the fire.

"What if you don't find the box?" Thad asked. "What will you do?"

I swallowed, staring vacantly at the wood-burning stove. That had, after all, been the great question: what I would do if I didn't find it. "Then we will return to Valdon, and I will marry Danton."

My words were met with complete silence. I couldn't believe I'd just voiced that aloud, and I didn't dare look at Alex right then.

"Whoa, there, Rook." Thad pushed himself off his hands and sat up straight. "No need to throw yourself off a cliff at the first signs of trouble. Don't get me wrong…I mean, Point of Fact does have his charms, but he's not for you."

I glared at Thad. "Well, seeing as how
your father
has the entire shadowguard attacking Alioth, I don't think I have much of a choice in the matter. Unless I let Valdon burn to the ground. Which I won't. Anyway, we're done talking about this." I stood.