Breathless (110 page)

“So where do you think Marissa is?”

I shrugged. I didn’t even want to think about her.

Her voice dropped as she asked, “Do you think she’s trying to get together with Cord again?”

I dropped the eyeliner and turned, suddenly breathless. Marissa and Cord. That meant she was around Jesse, whom I hadn’t heard from all day. I gulped. But then I stopped again. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He wasn’t my anything. He was my brother’s best friend, my dead brother’s best friend. I tried to convince myself that’s all we were, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie to myself. It hurt that he hadn’t texted me all day, but I also knew I was being unreasonable. He was in Vegas for his team, for their game. Not for me.

“I don’t know, but I can see her trying something again with him.”

“Whatever happened with them? I thought the two of them were perfect for each other.” Angie giggled again as she went to the room and reappeared with a full glass. She sipped the wine, wiggling her eyebrows at me. “What? We’re in Vegas. Aren’t we supposed to drink?”

“Where’s mine?”

Delight flashed over her face before she disappeared for a second. Then she came back with my own glass filled to the brim.

“Cheers, Alex.” She lifted her wine in the air. “Here’s to us, to having a great time no matter what drama happens, and to our friendship.”

“To us.” My glass clinked with hers, “And to having a motherfucking great time.”

More giggles burst from her, but we drank half our glasses.

Then she grew silent for a second.

My glass went to the counter. I knew what this was; this was the pre-air of silence. This was when she was thoughtful as a sudden idea came to her. The next stage was her pursed lips, which I saw just happened. Then she would frown and glance at me; she did both again. Then she’d bite her lip. Yep, once again I was right on cue. The last step was when she’d take a deep breath, readying herself for whatever she was going to say. And, dread filled me when I saw her take that deep breath. It was deeper than normal…and we had blast off.

“So if Marissa hooks up with Cord again, then she and Eric are done.” Angie’s eyes were filled with concern. “What are you going to do if he wants to date you again? Because I know he hasn’t stopped liking you. He just went with Marissa because she was giving him all the signs and well, you know why.”

If Marissa liked a guy, she chased him down.

My shoulder went up and I took my own deep breath of air.

“What are you going to do, Alex?” She edged closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Would you date him? I mean, I know you have this thing with Jesse, but come on. He’s not going to date you, not for real. You know that.”

I jerked away.

“You’re better off with Eric. I think you should make a move on him tonight.”

“He’s still dating Marissa,” I hissed at her.

She was the nonchalant one now. “We both know that’s going to end tonight. It’s just a question of who Marissa’s with now. I bet you money that she already tried to throw herself at Cord. I don’t know what happened, but I know he walked away from her. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Her eyes were steadily on mine in the mirror.

“I know you know.” She said it so faint, I might’ve imagined it. But I hadn’t. Pain flared in her depths and then she looked away. “It’s okay, you know. You kept that a secret for her. You’re a good friend to her.”

Oh boy. “Angie.”

“It’s fine. It really is.” She grabbed her glass and drank the rest of the wine. Then she cleared her throat, looking anywhere but at me. “She’s a horrible friend to you and you’re a great one back to her. And me, I’m a great friend to you and all you do is keep secrets from me. It hurts, Alex, but it’s fine. I should expect this, you know.”

I heard the change in her tone and stiffened. A different sense of dread took root in me now.

“It was always the two of you before. You were both the party girls. Cute, little. All the guys loved you two, especially when you were drinking, but then Ethan died and you became a ghost of what you were. Marissa stepped back, you know, and me…” She gulped with tears in her eyes, “I was there for you. I have been there for you. I’ve tried, Alex. I really have, but you two still have each other’s backs. I don’t get it. I really don’t.”

“Angie.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get it.”

“Angie.” She was about to leave the bathroom again, but I grabbed her arm. I stopped her. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?” Her eyes seared me. The hurt was so much, too much, in her. “I really want to understand. Maybe then it won’t hurt so goddamn much.” Her voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper at the end.

I flinched. I hadn’t realized I’d been hurting her, but then I took a deep breath. “You have loving parents.”

“So? That means I can’t be in your little club because my parents love me?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that you might not understand because your parents love you. You have a boyfriend who loves you. You don’t get the other side, of when parents don’t love you or don’t treat you how you should be treated. Your parents protect you. They care about you, look over you. Mine stopped a long time ago.” I swallowed more pain away and confessed, “They stopped even before Ethan died.” It was why I had been partying so much.

“So what? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t cover for Marissa because I know all her secrets, but because I can guess at some of them. I have no idea what’s happened to her, but something did. She wouldn’t go through guys like she does if she had parents like yours.”

“Pat and Lorna are not like that. They’re good parents. They love her. They’re best friends with mine—”

“I know.” I gentled my tone. “They’re your parents’ best friends, but not all households are like yours. And I’m not even saying it has to do with them. I’m saying that something happened to Marissa. She hasn’t been the same Marissa since eighth grade. She changed that year, remember?”

Her eyes hollowed out and I knew she was remembering that year.

“She didn’t come to school the same.”

Angie nodded, biting her lip. “I know. She was so different.”

“But remember at the beginning? She was quiet all the time, not the normal Marissa. Then suddenly she started hanging out with the older group?”

“She started dating Chad Lowerster.” Her nose wrinkled up. “He was so gross.”

“Gross to us, but hot to her. He was a junior. Marissa was in eighth grade.”

She rolled her eyes. “I never understood why she was dating him. It was obvious he only wanted one thing.”

I remembered how excited she’d been and how disgusted Angie had been. I sobered at the memory. It’d been the first sign that something was wrong. The Marissa before would’ve been revolted at the idea of dating someone like Chad Lowerster, but then she started openly chasing guys like him. I started to say something about how we needed to be better friends to her, but my phone’s alert went off. A tingle raced through me. It was from Jesse; I knew it before looking.

Angie mused as she inspected her teeth now in the mirror, “You think we should say something to her about that?”

The phone needed to wait a minute. “About what?”

She lifted an easy shoulder. “I don’t know, maybe about how she jumps from guy to guy? She was all about saying something to you, but bailed when you came into the room. You think she wants us to say something to her?”

Had I wanted them to say something? That wasn’t the real question. Had I wanted someone to find out about my family? They still didn’t know the extent of it, Jesse didn’t either. So I shook my head. “I have no idea. I really don’t.”

“Hmmm.” Then she dropped her hands and turned with a bright smile. “Okay, no more dramatics. You ready to have some fun tonight?”

Was I? My phone’s alert went off again. “You bet!”

She beamed back at me.

It wasn’t until later as we had met the guys in the hallway and were walking towards the lounge that I snuck a peek at my phone. However, Eric sidled up next to me with a strange glint in his eyes. He lifted a hand to run it through his hair, messing it up, but the look suited him. It gave him a rakish appeal that I knew most girls would swoon over. He wore a black shirt that molded to his frame with low-riding jeans. He could’ve been a model in that outfit, a thought that I’d never had about him before. But his eyes had been dark as they’d trailed up and down me when we first stepped into the hallway. They were still darkened in lust now.

“You think we’ll see Marissa before the trip’s over?” he asked.

I started to shrug, but stopped. I told him the truth. “Yes, we’ll see her when she decides to show up.”

“And she’ll be with another guy.”

It wasn’t a question any longer. He already knew.

“I’m sorry, Eric.” But I wasn’t. And from the clenching in his jaw, I knew he knew it as well.

But then he changed the topic and forced a light cheery note in his voice. “You look sexy tonight.”

He skimmed me up and down again. To my surprise, a shiver followed his gaze over my body.

Angie threw me a wink over her shoulder. She was the proud momma, since she had argued with me about my attire that night for twenty minutes. In the end, I had succumbed and wore the black dress that weaved around my breasts and down to my hips. My entire back was exposed, along with the sides of my hips. It ended a few inches above my knees, but for some reason I didn’t feel embarrassed. I would’ve a month ago.

“You can thank Angie.”

She grinned and giggled, but Justin’s hand was on the small of her back. His fingers flexed in a possessive hold as he gave her a wolf whistle. “Nathan, I like you, man, but you better not comment on my woman.”

“Noted.”

“Good.”

The two shared a smirk as we came to the elevators.

Angie rolled her eyes at me and I grinned, but then the doors slid open and everything stopped.

Jesse stared back at me; his eyes widened as he took in my dress, but then he was jostled forward as his teammates pushed him out the door. Cord whistled at me, “Looking good, Street Girl.”

“Street girl?” Angie threw me a frown.

Then Camden stepped around Jesse and threw his hand out. “Can I please meet you again? Hunt, tell me we’re hanging out with your girl tonight? Please, tell me we are.”

Another guy snickered, “This the girl who was hiding in the closet? I wish I’d stuck around.”

“Yeah, right. You pissed your pants when coach came out in the hallway.”

“Shut up, Wiscers.”

“You shut up, pussy.”

Jesse stepped closer as Justin threw his hand out. “Thanks, man, for the IDs.”

I did the double take now. “You got them for us?”

Jesse shrugged. “Who else do you guys know here?”

Angie was transfixed by one of the guys and I saw her mouth the word, ‘closet?’ before she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Nathan.” Jesse gave him a brisk nod.

Eric had stiffened at the sight of him, but gave him the same gesture. “Hunt.”

And then Jesse turned his back on him, towards me. It was smoothly and perfectly done, and it was more effective because of it. He’d cut him out of the conversation. I knew Eric registered the insult when his jaw clenched, but he didn’t combat it. He even stepped further back.

“I texted you.” He dropped his voice so only I could hear him. His fingers touched my arm and he urged me back, away from the group. “Where are you guys going tonight?”

I had read the two messages quickly, but that was when Eric had approached me. I hadn’t had time to really think about what he had asked. I frowned now. “You knew we were going out tonight?”

“Yeah, I figured. Houston reached out to me about the fakes this afternoon. I can’t go out late tonight, but I thought I’d come for awhile.”

I blinked at all that information. So he’d known where I was the whole time, who I was with. “That’s why you didn’t text me today.”

“You were with your friends.”

“And you didn’t want to pull me away from them?”

He gave me a wolfish grin. “If I had, you know what we’d be doing all day.”

Another shiver wracked through my body, one that had my every cell tingling in anticipation. I almost groaned from the dark thoughts that were going on in my mind, but bit my lip and held it back. My voice came out husky, “Jesse.”

His finger was rubbing up and down my arm. He grinned at the torment he was causing and slipped an arm around my waist to pull me close. As he bent close, I closed my eyes. I could feel his breath against my skin and waited for the feel of his lips, but then Angie’s voice came out loud. “Are you ready, Alex?”

Jesse froze and then hissed through his teeth. He pulled away. I caught the dark look he gave my best friend, but then he released me and stepped away. The effort seemed to cost him; he glared at Angie again. “Really, Russo?”

A heated look flashed in her eyes as she raised her chin in the air. “Really, Hunt.”

A different promise was smoldering in his depths.

Justin watched the exchange, but moved away from Angie’s hold. “You coming with us, Hunt?”

“Justin,” she hissed.

He ignored her. “We’re going to some clubs. The girls wanted to dance.”

Camden had been quiet, but he cleared his throat now. “Most of the team is going to Haze for a couple hours, but we can’t be out late. We have our game tomorrow.”

Another guy spoke up, “Yeah, if we don’t get a full eight hours of sleep Coach will kill us.”

“We wouldn’t want to trouble you guys. I’m sure you have all sorts of tramps to hang out with.”

“Angie.” I glared at her.

She shrugged. “Really.”

Camden had been frowning at her when he caught the glare Jesse sent her way. He stepped forward again. “That’s no problem. We have a reservation and everything. No waiting line. Some private dancing area all to yourselves. I know they tend to cater to the girls too, but if you don’t want to go there with us, that’s no problem.”

Angie’s smile turned frosty, the heat increasing in her eyes.

Justin coughed as he turned away from her. “Yeah, man. We’re all for it.”

“Justin,” she hissed again and tried to grab for him.