Brian Friel Plays 1 (34 page)

HELEN
:
All right – we give up – you tell us.

FRANK
:
I will not.

MIRIAM
:
Go. Go on.

SEVERAL TOGETHER
:
Come on, Father. Tell us. Tell us. We’re dying to know.

FRANK
:
No.

TOM
:
He can’t tell because it’s obscene.

FRANK
:
As a matter of fact –

HELEN
:
Well?

FRANK
:
(
To
ANNA
) I was looking for you in the crowd.

(
This
is
greeted
with
clapping
and
with
joking
‘
ohs
’
and
‘ahs’.
) That’s the truth.

TOM
:
In that case, and with that set to your jaw your caption should read: ‘If she’s not here, I’ll shoot her!’

(
As
he
goes
off
) Anybody for more coffee? My wonderful coffee?

SEVERAL TOGETHER
:
No! No! No! No! No! No!

TOM
:
All right. All right.

(
FRANK
takes
advantage
of
the
chorus
to
catch
ANNA
by
the
hand
and
lead
her
out
to
the
garden.
As
he
leads
her
out:
)

FRANK
:
Tom and his silly stories. He can spin them out for hours on end. (
He
catches
both
her
hands
and
holds
her
at
arm’s
length
.) Let me look at you. My God, how I missed you. Were they kind to you when I was away? Does the family overwhelm you? Did you miss me? Let me look at you. Let me look at my beautiful, beautiful mascot.

ANNA
:
What do you see?

FRANK
:
What’s the serious face for?

ANNA
:
Tell me what you see, Frank.

FRANK
:
I see youth, beauty, directness, simplicity. My wife.

ANNA
:
Anything else?

FRANK
:
An ageing man trembling before her.

ANNA
:
Why is he trembling?

FRANK
:
With intensity. With uncertainty. Because he has never had joy like this. Because he is afraid that somehow he can’t cope with so great a joy because he is an ageing man.

ANNA
: She is trembling too –

(
He
puts
his
fingers
across
her
lips.
)

FRANK
:
Because he wants to smother her, wash her in words of love, but he can’t because he has no fluency in love words and he’s afraid she won’t understand that –

(
Again
she
tries
to
speak
and
again
he
stops
her.
)

No, no, no. And he’s trembling because he’s afraid she’ll tire of a man so staid, so formal, so ponderous – tire of his earnestness – my God of this! – tire of this solemn, abject display that is the only method he knows. But you’d tell me if I ever began to disgust you, wouldn’t you, Anna? Yes, you would. You’d have nothing to say – those eyes would tell me. (
Quick
laugh.
) I’ve a confession to make. Let’s sit down.

(
They
sit
on
the
summer
seat
.)

There are nine men in this country who know everything about you!

ANNA
:
What men?

FRANK
:
The men that I rescued in the desert. Each time I crawled back to base with a man on my back – each trip took about half an hour – I told him about you – everything about you – your hair, your neck, your shoulders, the way you laugh – everything. Luckily most of them were too ill to listen. Not that that made any difference – I’d have told them anyway. And one of them – fellow called Driscoll, lost both his legs – I had to carry him like a baby – he kept moaning and crying for his mother and I heard myself shouting to him, ‘Shut up, Driscoll! I’m talking to you about my Anna! So shut up! Shut up!’ And he did. And he listened. So you probably saved Driscoll’s life – just as you have saved mine.

(
MIRIAM
comes
out.
)

MIRIAM
:
D’you know what Charlie was saying? You should put down spuds in this garden next year. Great for killing weeds.

ANNA
:
Where’s Father Tom?

(
BEN
,
HELEN
and
TINA
come
out
to
the
garden.
)

MIRIAM
:
In the kitchen, I think.

HELEN
:
You don’t want more of his coffee, do you?

(
Laughter.
)

BEN
:
Every time I hear Uncle Tom mention coffee I think of that famous picnic years ago –

HELEN
:
On Portnoo pier!

BEN
:
That’s it.

MIRIAM
:
And the two flasks! Oh, sweet Saviour!

FRANK
:
He’ll hear you, Miriam.

TINA
:
What was that? What happened?

FRANK
:
It’s a bit unkind to poor Tom.

BEN
:
Poor Tom! I might have been killed.

MIRIAM
:
(
To
ANNA
) We all drove out to Portnoo this Sunday – oh, thirteen – fourteen years ago –

BEN
:
I was twelve at the time.

FRANK
:
(
To
ANNA
) The place with the lookout post on the hill above it.

HELEN
:
(
To
ANNA
) Haven’t you been there?

ANNA
:
Yes, yes, I know it.

MIRIAM
:
And Mammy sat with a rug round her knees and the rest of us had a swim and then we spread the cloth out on the pier for the picnic and Uncle Tom had his stuff and we had ours. And it must have been the month of June because I have a distinct memory that it was the first strawberries we’d had that season and Mammy had a carton of cream, fresh cream, and a carton of ice cream, and you know that sensation when you taste the first fresh strawberries of the season – just like the first new spuds – only lighter and –

BEN
:
Tell the story, will you?

HELEN
:
We had just begun to eat –

MIRIAM
:
When suddenly Ben began behaving very strangely.

TINA
:
Oh,
that
story!

(
SIR
enter
s;
listens
to
the
story
and
reacts
to
it
as
the
others
do.
As
the
narrative
unfolds
,
BEN
acts
the
part
he
played.
)

BEN
:
Hic-hup-hie-hic-hic.

MIRIAM
:
Staggering across the cloth and kicking over the cups and the strawberries and the ice cream; and of course Mammy began to panic –

FRANK
:
(
To
ANNA
) We can laugh at it now.

HELEN
:
‘Epilepsy! My baby boy’s got epilepsy!’

TINA
:
The twelve-year-old baby!

FRANK
:
It was very frightening.

MIRIAM
:
And then he fell on his face and started vomiting and Mammy began to cry and Tina started to scream –

TINA
:
No wonder!

MIRIAM
:
All into the car – back home like the hammers of hell – and you know those roads along the Gweebarra –

FRANK
:
She knows them.

HELEN
:
(
To
BEN
) You’d passed out at that stage and uncle Tom was praying in your ear –

MIRIAM
:
Straight into sick-quarters – frantic phone calls – doctors and nurses summoned –

ANNA
:
What was it? What had happened?

MIRIAM
:
What had happened was that little Christina here –

TINA
:
I was six at the time!

MIRIAM
:
– had switched Uncle Tom’s flask and our flask –

BEN
:
(
To
TINA
) Monster!

MIRIAM
:
– and poor Mammy had given Ben a cup of neat whiskey!

ANNA
:
No!

HELEN
:
Almost killed him.

BEN
:
He was never the same since.

ANNA
:
Oh, poor Tom!

BEN
:
Oh, poor me!

MIRIAM
:
And of course he could never own up.

HELEN
:
Did he know?

MIRIAM
:
Did he know! Course he knew!

FRANK
:
The sequel’s the best part. Tell her that.

HELEN
:
That bit’s not true, Father.

FRANK
:
Is it not?

MIRIAM
:
Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not – it’s part of the
Butler lore.

ANNA
:
What’s the sequel?

MIRIAM
:
Ben claims that –

BEN
:
I do not!

MIRIAM
:
All right – it is said that when he was lying in
sick-quarters
after he’d had his stomach pumped –

FRANK
:
Shhhh!

MIRIAM
:
– Uncle Tom came to see him.

BEN
:
That bit’s true.

MIRIAM
:
– leaned over him, caught him by the throat, and said, ‘Touch my flask again and I’ll break your bloody neck!’

(
They
all
laugh
at
this.
Then
continue
talking
in
undertones.
CHARLIE
enters
and
stops
beside
SIR
who
is
laughing
too.
)

CHARLIE
:
What’s all the laughing about?

SIR
:
Sorry?

CHARLIE
:
What are they laughing at?

SIR
:
They are happy.

CHARLIE
:
They
are?

SIR
:
Yes.

CHARLIE
:
They know what’s going to happen, don’t they?

SIR
:
They know.

CHARLIE
:
So what are they happy about?

SIR
:
There’s always a gaiety at this stage.

CHARLIE
:
At what stage?

(
SIR
is
walking
towards
the
family.
He
is
smiling.
He
does
not
look
at
CHARLIE
.)

SIR
:
Sorry?

CHARLIE
:
What episode is that?

SIR
:
Look at them – they’re so happy.

CHARLIE
:
When is this supposed to have taken place?

SIR
:
Yes, I’m afraid they’ve taken a few liberties.

CHARLIE
:
Is this in your book?

SIR
:
Some of it is, Charlie. And I’m afraid some of it is the wishful thinking of lonely people in lonely apartments. But they’re always being true to themselves. And even if they’ve juggled the time a bit, they’re doing no harm. We mustn’t be impatient with them.

CHARLIE
:
Cracked, that family. Bloody cracked. Always was.

And it’s the same with my woman every time she gets back among them – she’s as bad as they are. Look at her for God’s sake! I don’t see much of that side of her when she’s at home, I can tell you.

(
He
leaves
quickly.
SIR
now
joins
the
others.
)

TINA
:
Here’s Sir!