Authors: George McCartney
With business slow and bills to pay, Annie had come up with the idea of sending an email shot to each of the twenty-one places where she'd worked on short term contracts, before joining JD Investigations. The pitch was that her previous work experience and knowledge of the premises would be useful, if any of the various businesses had current theft or security issues. It was a long shot, but she'd received a single reply, from an upmarket department store in Buchanan Street, Glasgow's premier shopping venue, where she'd previously spent four months working at as a sales assistant. The store was losing valuable stock at an alarming rate and management was at a loss to know how the thefts were being carried out.
Bored by reviewing endless security videos, where nothing untoward ever seemed to happen, Jack looked up and asked his partner, ‘I’ve just been wondering, Annie. How exactly did you manage to land this job? No offence, but you’re obviously still learning the ropes of the private eye game and we haven’t worked together on any similar cases.’
‘You’re right, I know absolutely nothing about shoplifting. But since I started working with you, I have become fairly proficient at bullshitting. This I’ve learned is an excellent substitute for actual knowledge on any given subject.’
‘Ouch.’
‘So I told the manager at the store that we’d recently successfully worked on a similar case, involving another big Glasgow store. I explained that strict client confidentiality prevented me from sharing the actual name of the store, or disclosing the extent of their losses. He seemed impressed by that.’
‘That was very clever, Annie. I like that.’
‘Yes, but unfortunately that’s been the extent of my cleverness. I’ve been praying that you would come back to work soon and rescue me, before I’m rumbled.’
'Remind me, how long have you been working on this?' asked Jack.
'It’s only been a week, but I haven't got anywhere. Although it’s not for the want of trying, because I've been out on the sales floor and the rest of the time up in the office watching the CCTV cameras, along with their in-house security team. They made me these copies of security videos, for days when they suffered the heaviest losses, and I've been going over them endlessly at home and here in the office. To be fair, the store security guys don’t have a clue either, whether it's an inside job involving staff, or a professional shoplifting gang that's responsible. All they do know for sure is that the shoplifters are really good, because they haven't been able to catch them at it. Not a sniff. They've been all over these tapes like a rash, but they still don't know how it's being done.'
'Are the cops on the case?'
'Obviously the store informs the police each time they’re hit. But they aren't terribly interested in investigating these kind of cases, apparently.'
'Yeah, unfortunately that's true, Annie. Unless the shop-lifter is actually caught red-handed outside the shop in possession of tagged merchandise and there's supporting video evidence, which gives the cops an easy conviction when it comes to court. So what are they stealing?'
'It's expensive handbags mainly. Sometimes fancy watches as well, but handbags seem to be their main thing. Presumably they've established a ready market for them. Probably selling them on eBay, if I was guessing.'
'Okay, so how expensive are these bags?'
'The full retail price can be anywhere between five hundred pounds and two grand, or more, so they definitely don't take any old rubbish. They're going straight for the big designer names that women see the celebs being photographed with. Givenchy, Mulberry and Yves Saint Laurent, you know.'
'Not really, I've been re-using the same Tesco carrier bag ever since the shops started charging five pence for a new one. Seriously, that's an awful lot of dough for just one handbag. I don't get it, this obsession that some women have with handbags and shoes. My ex-wife was exactly the same and I remember towards the end of our marriage there was hardly any room left in the wardrobe for any of my stuff. Although, looking back on it, it was probably an extremely unsubtle hint that I was past my sell-by date and about to get the hook.’
'It's just fashion, boss, and has absolutely nothing to do with practicality. Some women like to show off to other women. The logic is that, even if you've put on a few pounds and can't get into a fashionable new dress, or squeeze your buns into a pair of the latest must-have skinny jeans, you can still go out and buy a new bag or a pair of shoes to cheer yourself up. Okay, and before you go all morally superior on me, I agree that it's totally shallow and materialistic. But it's exactly the same thing that men do all the time, with their fancy cars and big expensive watches.'
'Fair point, Annie. It's always interesting to get the female perspective on this kind of thing. But I can say with some certainty that, when they're considering how hot a woman is, most men don't give a shit about what kind of handbag she's carrying, or who designed her fancy shoes. That kind of stuff just doesn’t register with men.'
'But I do remember a guy in the Royal Bar telling me once at closing time, that he really fancied getting hold of a tagged whore. At least that's what I thought he said. He was pretty pissed and slurring his speech, so I thought he meant he was heading off to see a local hooker, who was subject to a home detention curfew and had to wear one of those electronic ankle bracelets.'
'Sorry? You've lost me again.'
'What the drunk guy
actually
fancied wasn't the company of a lady of the night, it was one of those big
Tag Heuer
watches he was lusting after. You know, electronic tagging and a convicted prostitute. A tagged whore, geddit? Never mind, forget it.'
'Actually, I do get it. It’s just not funny, boss.'
'Please yourself. So I take it you would like me to get up off my arse and give you a hand on this one?'
'Yes, that would be really great, if you're sure that you're ready to start work full-time again. I don't know nearly enough about how shoplifting gangs operate and I definitely need help. I must be missing something really obvious.'
'Not a problem, Annie. Actually I’ve been feeling a bit better the last couple of days and I've always wanted to mince around one of these big department stores, with a tape measure draped around my shoulders. You know, just like Mr Humphries from
Grace Brothers
, saying,
'I'm free'
and asking all the customers,
'are you being served?
'
'I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about,' said Annie, who was wondering if she still had the phone number handy for Jack's doctor.
'No, of course you don't, you're a mere child.
'Are You Being Served'
was a really popular television programme way back in the seventies and eighties. Ah, those were happy days, Annie. Half an hour of prime time television, packed full of smut and double entendres for all the family to enjoy. Of course, that was a much more innocent time and there was absolutely no swearing or nudity involved. All the filth was implied rather than smacking you right in the face like a wet kipper, the way programmes do nowadays. And part of the charm was that all of the characters in the show had their own little catch phrases, which they faithfully trotted out every week. Old Mrs Slocombe only had to wink and do one of her saucy pouts, then mention that she'd spent most of the previous evening at home stroking her pussy, and twenty million television viewers immediately convulsed and wet their drawers laughing. I believe you can still find most of the episodes on YouTube.'
'That's really good to know,' said Annie, unconvincingly.
'But kidding aside, I know shoplifting is a major problem for the shops. Even if a thief is caught in the act with the stolen goods, the law is so weak that repeat offenders usually get off with just a small fine and a slap on the wrist. It's actually quite a smart choice if you're a career criminal, because of the low risk of being sent to prison.'
'So presumably the full-time shoplifting gangs take the odd pull and a fine in their stride, as simply part of the game. No worries, no sweat.'
'Exactly, Annie. The published statistics for shoplifting are bad enough but the reality is actually much worse, because a lot of retailers have simply given up reporting thefts to the police. They know from past experience that the police often won't respond. They aren't interested, viewing it as a victimless crime. This is complete madness, of course, but it means that the onus is now on individual retailers to try and do everything they can themselves, to limit in-store theft. Most of the people doing this are pros, Annie, and they do it for a living. I'm prepared to bet right now that the gang we're after will be well dressed, respectable looking and, if challenged by store security, they’ll have a range of plausible excuses ready.'
'So if they've effectively been abandoned by the police, how can the shops protect themselves?'
'All the big retailers nationwide share information on known offenders and they also have local early warning systems, to alert neighbouring stores if they suspect that a gang is hitting their street or mall. This is big business and the top shoplifting gangs usually travel around all the big cities in rotation, so they don't get too well known in one location. They're also very good at changing their appearance to avoid detection. Okay, the returns obviously aren't as good as for drug dealing, but the flipside is that the risks are a lot less. The reality is that you would need to be a pretty prolific and incompetent shoplifter, to ever get any serious jail time.’
'These guys don’t just wander in off the street and say, ‘oh that looks nice, I’ll have one of those.’ They’ll have done their homework in advance, by checking out the store's website, to keep up with the latest promotions and identify the high value, premium products they want to target. And if they’ve not hit a particular shop before, they'll do a recce beforehand to familiarise themselves with the store's layout, spot the cameras and clock the in-house security team. Although in some shops that’s not very difficult, to be honest. You just look for wee old guys, wearing dark coloured suits that look as if they were made for a giant. Anyway when the chosen day comes, there's no messing about and the pro gangs are ready to swing straight into action.'
‘I suppose it’s like anything else and the more prep and homework you do, the better chance you have of pulling it off.’
'Exactly, Annie. And it's quite something, if you ever get a chance to watch video footage of the best shoplifting teams in action. It's almost like a well-choreographed dance routine, with up to five or six people involved. Everyone knows exactly what to do and they've rehearsed their moves until they've got it all off pat. When they first go into a store, there's often a bit of misdirection involved, to try and distract store security from the main event.'
'What do you mean, misdirection?'
'Okay then, let's say they're targeting a swanky upmarket store, just like the one you’re trying to help in Buchanan Street. A couple of the gang members go inside, dressed like complete scruff, carrying cans of beer and start messing about. They maybe shout and swear at each other, or abuse the staff, so they stand out like a sore thumb. The cameras and the store security team on the floor will immediately focus on them and try to shove them straight back out the front door as quickly as possible. Meanwhile a respectable looking, well-dressed member of the gang, the actual shoplifter, is casually wandering towards the high value goods they came for. These people are the stars of the gang and they frequently change their appearance and use disguises to avoid detection, but they always look the part so they can blend in. They often have carrier bags from other high end shops and, to the casual observer, they look comfortable and completely at home. Then in the blink of an eye, when he or she has done the business, you might think they would quickly head straight for the exit. But usually the lifter will leave the goods at a pre-arranged blind spot somewhere inside the store. Then, when the coast is clear, another gang member will remove, or neutralise, the security tags before physically carrying the stolen goods out of the shop.'
Scratching her head, Annie said, 'so, if I’m sitting up there in the security office, watching all these different picture feeds, coming in real time from multiple cameras on different floors, I suppose the trick is knowing what to actually concentrate on, because it’s physically impossible to keep an eye on everything.'
'Spot on, Annie, you've sussed it in one. It's actually more of an art than a science and the best people doing that job sometimes just follow their instincts and ignore the obvious. If there's some minor disturbance, like the aforementioned scruff kicking off on the ground floor, there's a better than even chance that there's something much more interesting happening in another part of the store.’
'The best shoplifters never appear nervous and they'll happily chat away to sales staff and completely ignore the security cameras, just like any innocent customer. Of course, the pros know exactly where the cameras are located and will also have memorised where the best blind spots are in the store. And you have to remember that these blind spots aren't necessarily in the most obvious places. It might be an area where the cameras can still see a person's head and shoulders, but the serious action is actually taking place below that level, out of sight.'