He fell into a restless sleep at first dreaming about Thule and then dreaming that Airy was in the bed next to him. He could feel her warmth and hear her soft breathing. But when he turned to kiss her he woke himself up. It was the middle of the night but he got up anyway. He picked up his pack and left the room. Constant movement was the only way he knew to keep the pain at bay.
26
“But where is he?” Airy asked.
The blonde-haired boy coming out of the World History classroom frowned. “How would I know?” he asked. “I know who he is but we’re not friends. He keeps to himself.”
Airy searched out other familiar faces but nearly everyone had gone. Finally she approached the professor. “Have you seen Fehin this week?” she asked him as he was gathering his papers together.
He looked up. “Fehin?” He gazed into the distance for a moment. “He hasn’t been here for the last two classes,” he answered. “If you see him you better warn him about the upcoming test. It counts 20% of the grade.”
Airy walked down the hall wondering where else to look. She’d checked the lunchroom and the library and had even gone to the woods behind campus. She’d been searching for two days now. Where was he? The bungee cord in her stomach was stretched as far as it could go. She could feel it straining inside her.
The only thing left to do was to ask his roommate. Brent would surely know.
It was late when she snuck into the dorm and knocked on Fehin’s door. She hoped it would be Fehin who opened it but instead she was faced with Brent, who looked her over in a way that made her very nervous. “Um…Brent…I was wondering if you’ve seen Fehin?” she asked, trying to avoid his avid gaze.
“Why don’t you come in and we can talk about it?” He leered at her suggestively and held the door open.
“Uh…no thanks. I’m just looking for Fehin.”
Brent made a face. “That little dweeb? What do you see in him?”
“Is he here or not?”
“Haven’t seen him in a few days. He must have gone walk-a-bout.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s an Australian term that means going to find yourself. His clothes and pack are gone.”
“He’s gone?” Airy’s stomach did a little flip. She’d tried to contact him telepathically and had no luck. She’d thought at the time that he was mad at her, but now…now she didn’t know what to think.
“Yeah, and good riddance, I say. I heard him crying the night before he left—what a little fairy.”
Airy stepped back and had to steady herself against the wall. This was all her fault. She turned and hurried away, hearing the door close behind her.
In her room again she let the tears fall. “He’s gone, Storm. He’s not at college anymore. And I chased him away. What am I going to do?” Airy threw herself face down on the bed.
“I’m not that surprised after what you said to him. He must have felt really shitty.”
Airy twisted around to look up at her dorm mate. “Thanks for making me feel even worse,” she said, wiping at her face. “Where could he have gone?”
“Home?”
“You don’t understand. Home for him is…oh never mind. What should I do?”
The expression on Storm’s face might have been sympathetic if it hadn’t been for the kohl around her eyes, her black lipstick and the ring in her lip.
“Not much you can do. If he’s gone he’s gone. Unless you communicate telepathically you may as well give it up.”
Airy pushed herself up. “Why did you say that?”
“Say what?”
“The thing about telepathic communication.”
Storm shrugged. “Just mentioning the impossible. You don’t, do you?” She grinned and then sat on her bed across from Airy.
“No, of course not,” Airy answered.
The next morning Airy stayed in bed. She had a horrible headache and felt sick to her stomach. She hadn’t slept all night. Maybe she’d eaten something bad the day before or maybe she was coming down with something.
When Storm left for classes, Airy got on the computer and typed in telepathic communication and then sat back as Google loaded. She clicked on an article entitled, ‘10 Steps to Master Telepathic Communication’ and then read what it said. Following the directions she breathed deeply and cleared her thoughts and then relaxed before picturing Fehin in her mind as though he was standing right in front of her. She kept the transmission short as the article had suggested.
Where are you?
She waited a long time for an answer and then lay back on the bed and dozed.
I’m in Pennsylvania
.
Airy woke with a start.
Why?
No answer and then a very faint one.
I couldn’t stay there without you in my life.
Airy’s mind filled with hope and longing.
Fehin, come back. I love you.
But there was no more response from him. Where was Pennsylvania?
***
Airy was filled with guilt and could barely concentrate on her classes. Fehin was gone because of her and there was no way to reach him. She’d stopped answering her phone when her grandparents called, sure that they would only go on about the same subject—the one she didn’t want to talk about.
“Airy, you’re a good student. Why are you skipping classes and not turning in homework?”
Airy gazed at her professor. The woman, who was also her advisor, looked sincerely concerned. “I haven’t been feeling well, Professor Hartman. I may have mono.” Airy had heard about this disease that afflicted so many students. It was an easy out.
“If you have mono you should go home. The only cure is rest. Shall I contact your grandparents? They’re responsible for you, aren’t they?”
“No, don’t call them. Let me figure it out. Maybe it isn’t mono and I’m just exhausted for some reason.”
“Perhaps it’s seasonal allergies. There are over-the-counter drugs for that, you know.”
Airy didn’t know but she nodded anyway. “I’ll try to keep up,” she said before picking up her books.
Outside in the sunshine her thoughts turned, as they always did, to Fehin. She’d had no more luck in her efforts to contact him through the ether and wondered if maybe she’d dreamed the last conversation. Today she planned to consult the trees, something she hadn’t done since her ordeal. Her oak hadn’t helped her at all that day. Why hadn’t the trees warned her?
It was May now and most of the trees around the courtyard had leafed out. Maybe with the uplifting spring energy they would be easier to reach. She wandered here and there looking for the right one and when she found it she realized it was the pine where Fehin had conjured the medieval village. The memory brought tears to her eyes.
A light wind moved the top branches, sending a few dried needles down to land at her feet. She picked one up remembering Fehin fiddling with a twig and then the little figure that came alive. He’d never talked much about what he could do and now she wished she knew. In all honesty they didn’t know each other that well. But their hearts were linked—she was sure of that. She stilled her mind and looked up where sky jig sawed through the patchwork of branches. “What should I do?” she asked out loud.
The answer came through her senses and had no connection to words. But she understood nonetheless. She had to focus on why she was here. Her destiny.
“What about Fehin?”
All she heard after that was wind moving through the branches and the groan as limbs swayed and rubbed together. She waited for a long time and then finally gave up and headed back to campus.
***
“Darling, will you come up for the summer?” her grandmother asked.
Airy pressed the phone to her ear trying not to cry. The spring semester was nearly over and she still hadn’t had any communication from Fehin. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”
“Your parents will be here in July, you know. We’re all thrilled that things have turned out the way they have. We were so worried.”
During their recent conversations Airy had finally divulged that she hadn’t seen or heard from Fehin since March. The glee with which they received this news made her blood boil.
“I hope you can get your grades up before the end of the year, dear. Let me know your plans as soon as you can.”
Airy hung up the phone and turned toward her last class of the day. It was unseasonably warm and she had on a sleeveless T-shirt and shorts, her hair pinned up off her neck. Her left leg was still smaller than the other one but at least she was walking without a limp now—a definite improvement.
As she entered the building an official-looking person was heading into the classroom. A second later the professor glanced out the door and gestured to her. “Airy, there’s someone in the office who would like to speak with you.”
Airy followed the woman down the hall wondering if she was being expelled. Her grades had dropped and she’d flunked at least one class.
When she walked into the office a blonde woman with kind eyes who looked to be in her fifties held out her hand. “I’m Carla, Airy. I’m a friend of Fehin’s mother. Gertrude sent a message through Gunnar asking me to reach out to you. Do you know Gunnar?”
“I know who he is,” Airy answered, her heartbeat speeding up.
Carla smiled. “Sit down, won’t you?” She patted the chair next to her.
Airy sat and then tugged at her T-shirt, trying to cover the skin between where it ended and her shorts began. She finally folded her hands in her lap to keep them quiet.
“I knew Fehin when he was small. He came to stay with me for a few days. I don’t know if you know the truth about his mother and what happened—why she can never come back here.”
“He told me a little bit about it.”
Carla let a moment go by before she continued. “Gertrude and I were best friends. I was also her publicist. Did you know she’s an author?”
“I did know that. Fehin and I looked her up on microfiche.”
Carla looked away and sighed and then turned to face Airy again. She picked up one of Airy’s hands and held it between hers. “To get to the point, Airy, Fehin contacted his mother through Gunnar. The message he sent mentioned you and whatever destiny may lie between you. He said there had been a terrible misunderstanding and he hoped that someone could clear it up. You see he’s dying.”
“Dying?” Airy felt the blood leave her face. Her stomach gave a heave and she thought she might be sick.
Carla squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you all this.”
Airy tried to breathe but there was tightness in her chest that pressed against her lungs. The bungee had finally snapped. “What happened to him?”
“He contracted some kind of bacterial infection that the doctors can’t seem to get hold of. He’s in a hospital in Colorado. I could take you there if you want to go.”
“Of course I want to go.” Airy wiped the tears from her cheek and tried
to concentrate on the wall in front of her. It was a sickly shade of green. Why would anyone paint a wall that color?
“I thought you’d say that. I’ve booked us on a flight that leaves tonight, if that works for you. He may not have much time.”
“NO!” Airy shrieked, her hand going to her mouth. A vision of him the last time she’d seen him rose up in her mind. He was sick because of her.
Carla reached out with both arms and pulled Airy close. “It’s all right to be sad, Airy.”
Airy sobbed for several long moments before she managed to get herself under control. She pulled away and wiped her face with the back of her hand and then turned to Carla. “When and where should I meet you?”
“Why don’t you go get packed and then we can have a bite to eat before the flight leaves. I’ll meet you on the other side of the quad in say, thirty minutes?”
Airy barely knew what she was doing as she raced to her room and began throwing clothes into her bag.
“What’s happening?” Storm asked, walking in.
“Fehin’s dying, Storm. I have to go say goodbye.”
27
Fehin lay on his back in the hospital bed, his mind going over what had brought him to this point. It hadn’t been his intention to kill himself although there had been moments during the past months when he wished he were dead. Maybe that’s why it happened. He knew the power of the mind but for some reason could no longer control his own. His thoughts were as dark as night and had been for quite some time.
“How are we today?” the chipper nurse asked, walking in. She picked up the chart and checked something off before coming by him to adjust the tube in his arm. “The doctor will be in later,” she said before leaving him alone again.
Fehin wondered if summoning Gunnar had been the best idea. The druid had assured him he would talk with Fehin’s mother and Kafir and explain the situation. As to his concern about the girl, the druid wasn’t sure how that could be solved. Maybe it was better this way, Fehin thought to himself. The last time he’d heard from Airy was right before he’d begun to feel sick. They sent a couple of messages through the ether but then he was unable to do it again. Apparently the sickness had taken away all his magical abilities. He was barely able to lift his hand now, his body wasted and his stomach unable to keep anything down. Without the drip line he’d have been dead a month ago.
He turned his head to stare at the trees outside his window. Wind was whipping though the branches and they moved as though they were beings that might decide to pull up their roots and walk away. Their swaying branches took on a dance of joy and he could almost see faces within them. And then he thought of Airy and how she communicated with trees. He didn’t have the strength to cry anymore. Pains racked his body from time to time, but mostly he could feel the life energy slowly ebbing away. It wouldn’t be long now.
In his dreams he was always with Airy, their arms looped around each other or their hands clasped with fingers intertwined. The smile on her face lit up her eyes and made him feel happy. Waking from these was the worst time for him, the knowledge of where he was and what he’d lost. Sometimes the nurses gave him morphine and then he would slip into a place where he couldn’t feel. It was a good drug.
It was deep night when he awakened from one of these, jerking from sleep to let out a yelp of pain. He could see her standing next to his bed, a cruel hallucination. He closed his eyes.