Bridge Over the Atlantic (27 page)

She braced herself for the fifth and final track. It was a song she was not familiar with, but the words resonated through her in a way that sent shivers down her spine once again. It was, in her opinion, one of the most personal and heartfelt songs she had ever heard; ‘
The Reason’
by Hoobastank. The words drove into her soul as tears continued to cascade down her face. The honesty of the lyrics, sent as a message from Greg, made her heart ache, ready to burst out of her chest. She wanted to open the front door and run back to him; slap his face, kiss him, hold him; this hurt and damaged man who was struggling to come to terms with his feelings, just as she was doing the same thing.

As the song played and Mallory sobbed there was a knock at the door. She didn’t bother turning off the stereo. She pulled the door open and there he stood, in the rain.
Greg
. His eyes were bloodshot and damp; his chest heaving as if he had run all the way. She stared unabashed as the tears fell.

“I couldn’t wait any longer. It’s been hours. I was scared you’d packed up and gone.” He stepped over the threshold and scooped her into his arms. They clung to each other. He sobbed into her hair and ‘
The Reason’
became the soundtrack to their embrace, just like a movie.

He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” His voice was filled with emotion. He hugged her to him. She grabbed at his back, pulling him nearer.

Looking into his eyes she pleaded. “Don’t hurt me like that again, Greg, please. I couldn’t bear the way you looked at me, like you hated me.” She sobbed.

He grasped her face in his hands. “I could never hate you. It’s me that I hate. I’ll never, ever be so stupid again, I promise. I’m such an idiot. I care about you so much. I would never really want to hurt you, ever. I just don’t know what else to do Mallory…I…I love you so much…I don’t care anymore if it’s wrong…All I care about is you. If friends are what we are then that’s what we are. I’ll get used to it, I promise I will.” He hugged her again, “I can’t be without you in my life. I said some terrible things. Can you forgive me? The songs were meant to make you understand, not make you cry.” His words came out in a rush. He took her face in both of his hands again and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “I want to kiss you so badly right now…” he said breathlessly. “Oh God, I just said that out loud didn’t I?” He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

Without thinking of the consequences and without further analysing the way she felt, Mallory pulled him to her again so that their foreheads were touching. She took a deep breath and said the words she knew she had wanted to say for a long time,

“So do it.” She looked directly into his burning eyes.

Greg inhaled sharply. “What?” He gasped, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Kiss me, Greg.” She breathed.

He let out a muffled sob as if she had just pulled him back from a ledge. He crashed his lips into hers. His hands found her damp hair as he devoured her mouth with all of his pent up passion and longing. She kissed him back with the same ferocity. The kiss felt like it lasted forever. Mallory clung onto Greg as if her life depended on it.

They broke apart gasping. She held his face between her hands and, staring into his chocolate brown eyes she simply whispered.

“Greg…I
do
see you.”

Hearing the words, he kissed her again just as deeply.

~~~~~

They sat together on the sofa in their damp clothes; just holding each other. Every so often she gazed up at him to see him smiling down at her. Each time he just kissed her hair and squeezed her closer. He had made no sexual pass at her. It was as if what he felt went beyond such carnal desires at this moment; as if he just wanted to be
with
her; to feel her near him; to know that all was not lost and she wasn’t going to run away back to
Yorkshire
. And it was what she needed too. She felt safe in his arms. They would probably need to talk about what would happen next. But right now it felt good to just silently be close to him.

Sometime later Mallory woke to a darkened room; Ruby was curled up in front of the unlit fire and the room felt chilly. She looked up at Greg who was still staring down at her, smiling.

She stretched and yawned. “Sorry, I must have dozed off.”

“You’ve been asleep for about an hour,” Greg whispered, his voice soft. “You’re so beautiful when you’re asleep.” He stroked her hair and she inhaled the scent of him.

“So…what happens now?” Mallory asked nervously.

“Well, that’s up to you. We take things at your pace. When you feel you want to move forward, we do, until then it’s whatever you want it to be.” He kissed her hair.

This had all been so sudden. Part of her wanted to drag him, cave-woman like, upstairs to her bedroom and part of her knew that time was needed to get used to this new development.

She bit her lip. “I…I’m scared of making huge mistakes…I’m scared of being judged…I’m scared of judging myself and being disappointed that I didn’t give myself time.”

“Then time is what you’ll have.” He shifted so that they were facing one another. “Mallory, earlier today was…I felt so happy just being with you.” He stroked her cheek. “Kissing you was…wow…not what I expected. I’m so terrified you’ll regret it and that’s why I didn’t try to…”

“I know and I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that.”
Gosh, he is gorgeous
. She sat upright as if just realising for the first time how attractive he was.

He looked worried at her change in body language. “What? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing…I was just thinking…never mind.” she felt heat rising in her cheeks and so she looked at her hands knotted in her lap.

Greg tilted her chin up so that their eyes met. “If you need to say something, please just say it. Don’t leave me wondering, I’m terrified here.”

“It’s silly really…I was just seeing you through fresh eyes, I guess.” She bit her lip almost not daring to continue, “you are an incredibly good looking man, you know?” She smiled nervously.

Greg grinned and breathed a sigh of relief. He slumped back against the sofa. Mallory could have sworn she noticed a slight blush in his cheeks.

He glanced up at the ceiling for a moment and then turned to face her again. “I was scared to death of what you were going to say.” He took her hands in his. “People around here won’t judge you…they won’t judge us,” he said after a short silence. “The people here absolutely adore you, Mallory, there is no way they want you to be anything but happy.” He stroked his thumbs over the backs of her hands. “I know that this is all a bit of a sudden occurrence. But it’s not as if it was premeditated or anything, eh? We didn’t ask for this to happen. But I am happy to take things at your pace. We don’t do anything or tell anyone anything until you are ready. It’s just us for now, okay?”

She liked that.
Just us
.

She removed her hands from his and slid closer to him. She climbed into his lap and rested her forehead on his, running her fingers through his thick, dark hair. She kissed him lightly on the mouth and he kissed her back gently; once, twice, three times; the fourth time the kiss became more urgent and then it exploded between them with passion and urgency.

They slid their tongues together, tasting each other, possessing each other. She moved to wrap her legs around him. His hands were at her waist, then up her back to her shoulders. He pressed her to him tightly. A heat washed over her and through her. She grasped at his shirt with desperate hands. He slid his hands down to her bottom pulling her nearer. She could feel his arousal. Then suddenly he pushed her away, letting go of her, breathing fast and deep.

Feeling a little confused and rejected Mallory’s voice came out a little strangled. “What...what’s wrong, Greg?”

“I…I have to stop now; before we go too far. You’re not ready…We need to be careful not to rush things. I don’t want to lose you…I can’t lose
you
too.” He lifted her onto the sofa and stood. He walked over and placed both hands on the fireplace and dropped his head down. He took several deep breaths as if trying to regain his composure. She understood why he felt he had to pull away, but felt a little disappointed.

Mallory touched her lips which felt swollen from the intensity of their kisses. She wasn’t sure how to react now. She had been on the verge of giving herself to him. She craved the intimate contact, but he was right. If they moved forward at such a pace it could all be destroyed. Neither of them wanted that.

She stood and walked over to him. She slid her arms around his waist. It felt good to hold him. He turned around and wrapped her in his arms. They gazed into each-other’s eyes for a few moments.

“Just promise me one thing,” he whispered to her.

She kissed his chin. “Anything.”

He took a deep breath. “If you have second thoughts about us, or if I’m taking things at the wrong speed, even if I’m going too slowly, please talk to me. Don’t shut me out. I couldn’t cope with that, Mallory. I’m afraid I’m in love with you…deeply in love with you. I’m not sure how you feel about me right now. I’m not asking you to tell me. I just hope that we have a chance at a future.”

Mallory looked up at this gorgeous, rugged man and her heart melted. But she felt a tinge of sadness. Could she say she was in love with him? Maybe not right now. She thought maybe she loved him, but she wasn’t prepared to say so just yet.

“I…can you give me some time? I have so many feelings whizzing around my head right now that I just can’t make sense of them. But please know that I
do
have feelings.”

“That will tide me over.” He smiled. He bent to kiss her again.

They spent the rest of the evening cuddling, chatting, kissing and listening to music. It was a relaxed and sensual evening.

Greg glanced at the clock on the mantle and cringed. Mallory realised then that it was almost midnight. Greg put his empty wine glass on the floor. “I really should go.” He exhaled.

She cupped his cheek with her hand. “You could stay.”

“I’d love to, but we agreed to take things slow. And…well…I’m not sure I could keep my hands off you if I stayed.” He smiled sheepishly.

“We could just hold each other and stay clothed,” she suggested, desperate for him to stay.

He thought for a few moments and then sighed. “I’ll stay, but why don’t I sleep in the spare room?” It was clear that he was determined to give her the time she needed even if she was pushing things right now.

Feeling a little desperate she grasped his hands “Look, I don’t want to be alone. Today…in fact this last month has been a whirlwind. I don’t want you to go. Why don’t we just sleep in the same bed and stay clothed?” she insisted.

He eventually gave in.

Mallory took his hand as they went up the stairs to her room. She wanted to undress in front him seductively and have him do the same. She wanted to kiss and explore his body. But she was still unsure as to the nature of her feelings and his honesty had meant she ran the risk of hurting him. So, instead, she retreated to the en-suite where she changed into a pair of white cotton pyjamas. She brushed her teeth and returned to the bedroom. Greg stood there, waiting, in just his jeans. His chest looked magnificent as she dragged her eyes over his body and her heart rate increased. She had the urge again to touch him there, right where the tattoo scarred him.

She pulled the duvet back not taking her eyes from Greg. He climbed in bedside her. He held out his arm so that she could snuggle into him. They rolled to face each other. He stroked her cheek with his free hand. His gaze was so loving; so tender.

“I love you,” he whispered, closing his eyes. A tear escaped Mallory’s eye as she looked at him. She felt quite dwarfed by his size in her bed. He was no taller than Sam, but he was wider and something about him made her feel tiny and vulnerable, but safe at the same time.

She traced the tattoo on his chest with her fingertips and then kissed it. She had been longing to do that ever since she had first seen it. Close up the smell of him was intoxicating to her. Desire rose up in her again. But she fought it. She had to be certain that this wasn’t just lust. She found him so very attractive; he had an irresistible magnetism that exuded sex and resisting was hard.

These feelings had only just become clear to her. She hadn’t been allowing herself to access them until now. She needed to be sure for his sake and for her own that there was more to it. Once they made love she knew that, for him, there would be no turning back. She knew, therefore, that she must fight her urges to clamber on top of him and make him take her. The last few hours had been so intense. She felt emotionally drained, exhausted in fact.

“Can I kiss you one last time before you go to sleep?” he asked her.

The question made her smile. She didn’t answer; she just pulled him toward her and took his mouth with her own. One thing was certain. She could kiss him forever.

There was something very contradictory in his kisses. He wanted to go slow for her sake yet his kisses were raw and sexual. She broke away when she felt herself getting carried away and her breathing was shallow. She nuzzled into him and after a while they fell asleep.

When Mallory awoke the next morning she stretched out to find him, but Greg had gone. Feeling a little panicked at his absence she tiptoed downstairs to find him seated at the kitchen table, clutching a coffee cup. He sat there in his T-shirt and jeans, his feet were bare, but she couldn’t help thinking he was ready to leave.

She tentatively took steps toward him as if approaching a horse about to bolt.

“Hey you.” She smiled as she entered the room.

He looked up at her with sad eyes. “Hey yourself, sleep well?”

She slid her arms around his neck. “Wonderfully well, you?”

He smiled. “I did too.”

Kissing his cheek she asked, “Greg, what’s wrong? You seem down this morning.”

He huffed out all the air from his lungs and looked to the floor as he spoke, “I’ve been thinking…I…I’m not sure that this is a good idea…you and me.”