Bright Side (27 page)

“How could I not? She was my sister and I loved her. Good or bad, I was all she had.”

That’s exactly the kind of thing she would say. “Who took care of you?”

She smiles and it shines in her eyes. “Gus. He’s always been my best friend. He was my next-door neighbor. His mom, Audrey, is awesome, too. She was like a mom to Gracie and me. She still is.”

“He loves you. I thought the guy was going to castrate me over the phone Friday night. It was brutal. I’ve never known anyone with a relationship like you have with Gus. Two people that close, but who aren’t together. It’s still hard for me to wrap my brain around.”

She shrugs. “Don’t try too hard. We’re a little weird. Gus’s mom swears that she had twins and we were separated at birth even though he’s a few years older. She took one baby home with her from the hospital and the other moved in next door a few years later.”

“I can see that.” I’m trying so hard to understand their friendship, but it’s so hard not to be jealous of Gus.
I
want the history they have.
I
want to know everything about her.
I
want to be the person she tells everything to.
I
want to take care of her. I want
her
.

When she drops me off at my place, I don’t want her to leave. “Thanks for coming with me, Katie.”

She unbuckles her seatbelt and leans across the small space to hug me. “Thanks for taking me, Keller. I know that it took a lot to share that part of your life.”

“Not with you it didn’t. You give me courage I never knew I had.”

She corrects with a whisper. “I didn’t do anything. It was there all along, you just had to find it.”

I pull back slightly, knowing that I cannot let her leave without doing something I’ve wanted to do since the first time I saw her. I search her eyes and
reach my hand to her cradle her cheek. She’s so soft and she smells so good. Her wavy hair is wild and messy as always and she looks so damn sexy. She doesn’t resist, so I lean in slowly and hold my breath. When my lips touch hers, every thought and every worry leaves my mind. Everything else vanishes except her. She’s all I feel, all I smell, all I hear, all I see, and all I taste. Her lips are so soft as they move against mine, with mine, and when they part slightly and I taste her tongue with mine, I feel a shudder of pleasure run through my body. Her hand slides up my arm to gently clutch my neck. The sensation of her touch coaxes a soft moan from me. It’s a sound in the back of my throat that I can’t control. Her touch, her taste; it’s almost too much. She must feel it too, because she pulls back. When I open my eyes, I notice that hers have turned dark, like her pupils have swallowed the green.

I say, “Come inside with me.” At the same time, she says, “I have to go.”

Her breaths are deep and erratic. She feels this. She wants this.

“Why are you leaving?”

She looks away. “I have to.”

“What happened to the girl who preached living in the present? Because I have to tell you Katie, I have never been more present than I am this very moment.”
Never
been more present …

She has both hands on the wheel now. She’s still not looking at me. She swallows and I’m afraid she isn’t going to say anything when she whispers, “This is different.”

“Why?
Please
.
Stay
.” I’m begging her.

She blinks a few times. “There are things you don’t know about me. I’d only hurt you in the end and I care too much about you to do that.”

I’m lost, confused, frustrated. “What? Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for me. Because that kiss? That kiss was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire fucking life. I know you felt it.
You fucking felt it
.”

She looks up at me and her eyes are glassy. “I did. That’s why I need to leave.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “
That doesn’t make any fucking sense
.”

“I know, Keller. I need to go.” 

I throw the door open, step out, and slam the door before I open the back hatch to grab my bag. I should walk away quietly but I’m too pissed not to push her on this. “This is bullshit and you know it. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but nothing you could possibly say would change the way I feel about you. I haven’t opened my heart to anyone in a very long time, and if you told me you weren’t interested, fine. It would suck, but I’d walk away, lick my wounds, and go on with my life. But the fact that you aren’t even allowing yourself the opportunity to experience whatever
we
might turn into, that pisses me off.” I don’t know if this is a trust issue or a commitment issue, but I don’t like to see her deny herself. And that’s exactly what she’s doing. “I don’t know about you, but this connection we have, this attraction, it doesn’t come along every day. It’s been years …
years
… since I felt this way. Honestly, I never thought I’d feel it again. Does it scare me? Hell yes. Can I predict the future? Nope. But know this, I would never, ever, in a million years, hurt you. I’d be in it one hundred percent. The ball’s in your court, Katie. At some point in your life you have to trust someone.”

I don’t wait for a response. I know I won’t get one, so I slam the hatch and walk into my apartment without looking back.

(Kate)

There’s a note on the door of my Psychology class, something about class being cancelled due to my professor having the stomach flu. My first thought is
Hell yes
! Followed quickly by guilt for the mental high five I just enjoyed at the expense of someone else’s suffering bowels.

I immediately apologize
.
God, I thank you for this small, but much needed, blessing. I’m sorry Professor Garrick has the trots, but cancelled class means nap time for Kate. I owe you for this one.

I’ve never walked across campus and back to the dorms at this time of day. It seems quieter than usual. Relaxing.
But as I approach my dorm I see someone standing next to Clay’s car. And it’s not Clay. I make a detour so I can get a closer look without being seen.

And as soon as I get the closer look I was after, I immediately regret it. Not because I don’t want to be here in this moment, but because assholes really,
really
piss me off.

Clayton is backed up against his driver’s door holding his messenger bag tightly in front of his chest.
A broad-shouldered guy in a gray hoodie is leaning toward Clay, cocking his head from side to side, standing way too close for this to be a friendly conversation. His fists are balled up and his posture looks threatening. This isn’t good.

I pause for only a split second. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let him lay a hand on Clayton, but I also don’t want to misread the situation. I start with a loud greeting as I approach slowly from behind.

“What’s up?” I say, loudly.

The Asshole
turns toward my voice. Attention diverted. Clay’s shoulders slump a good two inches with relief.

The Asshole
gropes me with his eyes. It’s fucking creepy. I feel violated. He licks his lips. “What’s up?” He grabs his crotch suggestively. “Looking at you right now, pretty girl, I’d say
my dick
is what’s up.” He’s foul.
And
he just winked at me.

“Was that some sort of a pick-up line?” I ask, because I’m genuinely baffled when guys think this sort of thing is attractive.

He winks again.

Yup, I guess it was. I shake my head. “Slow the horse down, cowboy; I’m not sure I caught your name
.”

He smiles this smarmy-ass smile. “Ben.”

“Ben what?” I fish. Because if he’s already done something to Clayton I want this guy’s full name, so I can share it with the proper authorities.

“Ben Thompson.” Smarmy smile still in place. “Want to get out of here? Go back to my room?” He glances at his watch. “I’ve got an hour before class. We can make it quick.”

If I could give out an award for
The Least Classy Thing I’ve Heard All Week
—hell, all year—then this guy would be the big winner. He fucking nailed it. “Dude? Ben Thompson? I’ve known you for all of thirty seconds and I’ve gotta hand it to you, I’m thoroughly repulsed. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. When I asked what was up,
I wasn’t talking to your dick, dickhead
. I was talking to my friend here.”

Clayton’s eyes are bulging and he’s shaking his head behind
The Asshole
. Maybe I should be scared, but with the week I’m having I don’t feel like I have anything to lose.

His smile makes my skin crawl. “You’re mouthy. Mouthy makes me horny, princess.”

“Listen dipshit, this isn’t foreplay.” I reach over and take Clay’s hand in mine. “You’re disgusting. Leave us alone.”

He’s finally getting it. Anger flashes in his eyes. “Fucking cock tease.” He’s pointing at Clayton now and it’s threatening. “And as for you, you little pansy-ass, we’re not done. You’d better watch your back.”

I want Clayton to say something, anything,
so bad
, but he keeps his head down and starts walking toward the dorms. And because I’m holding his hand I’m forced to walk with him. Of course I can’t walk away without the last words, “Fuck off, asshole.”

He kicks Clayton’s car door before leaving in the opposite direction.

I stop before we reach the dorm doors and turn to face Clayton. There are tears in his eyes. I feel sadness, guilt, and anger boiling up within me. He looks down at the ground and he’s wiping at his cheeks to clear away the tears.

In my softest voice I prompt, “Hey.” Because he looks embarrassed and that’s the last thing I want him to feel right now. “Clay, it’s me, Kate.”

His chin rises fractionally and his eyes lift the rest of the way to meet mine. He’s trying not to cry, but his chin’s quivering.

“Was he threatening you when I walked up?”

He nods.

I don’t want to ask the next question, because I’m scared I already know the answer. “Has he threatened you before?”

He nods.

“How long has this been going on, Clay?”

His chin’s trembling again. “About a month.”

My stomach is in knots. “How often?”

The tears are streaming again. “Every day.”

I feel sick. I take pride in being a good friend. Because in life, that’s really all that matters … people. And treating them well, being there for them, that’s being a good friend.

I. Am. A. Horrible. Friend. How could I not know about this?

I pull him into a hug and he cries on my shoulder. I rub his back and wish I could bear my sweet friend’s burden for him.

I release him and he sniffles. “Dude, have you told anyone about this?”

He shakes his head.

“You should report him to campus security. Go talk to the dean’s office. Talk to John, even. This is unacceptable. You should be able to walk around campus, hell you should be able to walk around anywhere you damn well please, without being scared.”

He sighs, it’s defeat if I’ve ever heard it. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It never does any good.”

That makes me sad. It’s basically the same thing he said after the Spectacle incident.

“Do you know how many times I’ve complained to counselors, teachers, and principals over the years about being bullied, or beaten up?”

God, my heart doesn’t want to know.

“Too many times, Katherine. And not once did anyone act on it. I was told I was over-reacting, or it was a misunderstanding, or even that I was asking for it. Can you believe that? People have looked me in the eye and told me because I was gay I was
asking
to get picked on. And I’ve been told that more than once, so apparently it’s not an opinion isolated to a single ignorant person.”

“You can’t let the assholes win, Clay.”

He huffs. “It’s not a game. It’s my life. And I’m tired, Katherine. I just hoped that college would be different. More tolerant—‘”

I interrupt him. “Tolerance is bullshit. There’s nothing to tolerate. We don’t
tolerate
lovely people,
we enjoy their company
. I hate that term.”

He sniffs. “Me too.” He sniffs again. “What I’m finding out is that college is no different. Different school, same Neanderthals. I’m trying to make it through the semester, because I feel like I’m throwing my parents’ money away if I don’t.” He sighs again. “But I can’t come back next semester.”

He can’t let the assholes win!
I walk Clayton inside and leave him inside his dorm room with a Twix bar from my freezer, because eating one always makes me feel better when I’m having a shitty day.

As soon I leave his room, I walk directly to the campus security office. A middle-aged man in a blue jacket greets me, and I get right to the point. “I’d like to file two reports please.”

“Two reports?” he questions.

I nod. “That’s correct.”
The Asshole
, Ben Thompson, will not get away with this.

I proceed to file a complaint on Clayton’s behalf with me as an eyewitness and I make sure to mention that this has been going on daily for a month. Following Clayton’s incident I report sexual harassment for the lewd display he put on for me. Just thinking of the creepy-ass way he looked at me makes me think that he’s one of those guys
who thinks no means yes, and yes means
hell yes
.

I can’t help but think about Keller’s mother the whole time I’m in here. I mean, yeah she’s abrupt and insulting, but I bet it makes her one hell
uva a lawyer. I find myself trying to mimic her bluntness. I’m even wearing her strained smile to get my point across—and it works.

I take a few deep breaths just outside the door, because I’m still all worked up. I don’t know if what I just did will make any difference, but I have to try.    

As the tension begins to ease away I realize just how much my body hurts today, and I’m more tired than I was earlier. It’s not happy about the stress I’ve piled on. I need a nap, ASAP.