Authors: Penny Brandon
The jeans were another problem. They wouldn't go over Kyle's bulky cast. "Cut them," he said, indicating the scissors. He was beginning not to care. He was getting tired.
Kyle watched Jared as he stooped to the task, watched his bent head, watched the way his thick, wavy hair fell across his face. Unable to help it, Kyle reached over and ran his fingers through the warm, silky strands. Jared looked up sharply, that dark frown marring his brow again. He stood and slipped an arm around Kyle's waist, then pulled up the loose-fitting jeans, zipping and buttoning them closed without seeming to be affected by how close Kyle was. Kyle was finding it difficult to breathe.
"Okay?" Jared asked.
Kyle nodded. "Fine." He was lying. He was in a whole heap of pain, and not all of it was physical.
He tested the strength of his ankle, putting some weight on it. "Fuck!" Fire shot up his leg and lodged in his balls. He groaned behind the need to scream and clenched his hands into fists, fighting the darkness that crept along his vision.
"Kyle?" Jared's strong arm came around him, holding him, and Kyle unashamedly leaned into his hard body.
"I'm gonna need crutches," he gasped, ignoring the warning in his head that told him to give this up and lie down.
"Look, maybe we shouldn't do this right now. I don't think you're ready."
Kyle glanced into Jared's worried frown. "I'm fine," he lied again. "I'm just going to need your help." He
was
ready. He had to be ready, because he knew if he didn't leave with Jared now, he might not get the strength to leave with him at all.
Slipping his arms into the supports of the crutches Jared brought him, Kyle wrestled himself across the hospital room and into the hallway. Jared followed him, silent and obviously not happy, but though this was Jared's idea, it was Kyle's decision. He needed to do this, needed to give Jared the chance Jared had given him. He also needed to put his demons to the back of his mind once and for all.
Jolted awake, Kyle silently cursed the suspension on the small utility truck Jared now drove instead of the 18-wheeler, though initially he'd been grateful Jared had seen fit to make a swap, because bandaged the way he was, Kyle knew there was no way he'd have been able to climb in and out of the bigger truck's cab.
Pain radiated from his ankle making him feel sick, while a dull throb from the rest of his body made him feel like he'd gone five rounds with a heavyweight boxer. He released a deep-seated groan and carefully shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position and giving it up as a lost cause when his leg cramped and his chest started to feel like someone was sitting on it.
"Hey, you okay?"
Jared's smooth voice sounded over the heavy noise of the engine and the constant hiss of tires over the road. Kyle opened his eyes, the darkness beyond his window giving him a good indication he'd been asleep for at least a couple of hours. He took in a deep breath and faced forward. Bright headlights lit the trees lining the highway, reminding him of the last thing he'd seen before he'd been hit by the car. He shuddered and closed his eyes again before blinking them open and turning to look at Jared.
Jared's darkened gaze rested on him, eyes wary and full of concern before he pulled his attention back to the road. "You okay?" he repeated.
"Fine." God, he was going to have to stop saying that. Anyone with a grain of sense could tell by his voice he was lying.
Jared's gaze flicked over him again. "You look like shit."
Kyle sighed and tried to sit up a little, biting back his moan of pain this time. "How far before we reach home?" he asked, kind of needing to take a piss and kind of needing to find out how long he had left before his life was turned upside down--not that it already hadn't.
"We're nearly there. You've been asleep for hours."
Nearly there? Fuck. Looking out the window, Kyle didn't recognize any of the landmarks, but then it had been twelve years since he'd been here. Twelve years in which things had time to change.
Kyle couldn't believe he was doing this, that he was going home. No, it wasn't his home, hadn't been for such a long, long time. But it had been a place he'd grown up in, lived in, had, at one time, been loved in. That, of course, had changed the second he'd told his family he was gay. It hadn't occurred to him that they would react the way they had, that they would literally throw him out and refuse to see him or allow him to contact them again.
Traumatized, on his own, it had taken Kyle several years to get over the bitterness, the heartache, the loss, but he had, and he'd put the pain behind him. He'd begun to feel like he was whole again, that he could hold his head up high and be the man he was meant to be. Until he'd found out where Jared lived. Then all the old insecurities, the hurt, the failure he'd felt as a teenager had come crashing back to make him feel unwanted, unloved all over again.
He hadn't handled it very well.
Kyle glanced at Jared and wondered how he was going to tell him, when he was going to tell him, because Jared needed to know before someone recognized Kyle and possibly put two and two together.
Possibly. He didn't know if anyone in the town knew he was gay or why he'd abruptly left. He doubted his parents would have told anyone, but the town was small and filled with small-minded people, and rumors would have circulated. Rumors edged with speculation that would be brought back into the open the second someone saw him--and made worse when they saw him with Jared.
Jared was not going to like it, but right now Kyle didn't know what to do about it. He closed his eyes, worried about Jared's reaction, worried just as much about his own. Could he do this? Could he face returning to a town he hated and swore he would never set foot in again?
Too soon Kyle felt a change in the truck's grip on the road, and he opened his eyes to look out the window, wary, curious. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." The growled appeal had Jared shooting him a worried frown.
"You okay?" Jared asked, concern lacing his tone even as it hid a touch of irritation.
Kyle stared out the window. Destiny or cruel coincidence? Kyle had to wonder as Jared maneuvered the truck along a well-remembered driveway. Under the wide sweep of the headlights, a small ramshackle house came into view, exactly the same as when he'd left it twelve years ago. The porch sagged a little more, and it looked like it hadn't been painted in a decade, but it pretty much hadn't changed. Kyle bit back a grimace and another curse. He was coming home, literally.
He waited for the pain to hit, the humiliation, the past memories to swamp him, and was surprised when none of them did. He felt nothing except a curious numbness.
Jared pulled the truck around to the back of the house, where a new outbuilding had been constructed. It looked like one of those old Dutch barns, but it was created out of color-bond steel sheeting. Despite its size, the dark green color allowed it to blend in to the surroundings, or what little of the surroundings Kyle could discern out of the darkness. Jared parked the truck beside the barn and switched off the engine. He looked tired but elated, Kyle realized. Clearly Jared liked coming home. If only Kyle could feel the same way.
It took several minutes for him to maneuver out of the truck, even with Jared's help. Jared hovered beside him, matching his steps to Kyle's careful shuffling. Aches that he'd managed to put to the back of his mind came back to taunt him. Arms, chest, back, thighs, they all burned as his muscles protested his determination to get from the vehicle to the house.
He avoided looking at the small patchy garden that spread on both sides of the back porch, evaded gazing at the dilapidated twin chairs that seemed abandoned and neglected, shunned noticing the sagging wooden planks that made up the broad veranda, and deliberately closed his eyes as Jared pushed open the old timber door with its peeling paint and cracked glass.
"Kyle?"
Kyle didn't want to see the inside of the house, felt physically sick at the thought of it, but when he opened his eyes to see Jared staring at him, real concern in his gaze, Kyle gasped in surprise. The inside of the house was not the same; in fact it had been completely renovated, so nothing remained of the interior he remembered from childhood. A little stunned, he stood on the threshold until Jared spoke to him again.
"Why don't you go straight to bed and lie down. It's late anyway, and you look tired."
Kyle dragged his gaze from the polished wooden floors and the smart, clean kitchen that lay to the right of the doorway and quickly glanced around the living-dining room. Gone were the little poky rooms that had made up the layout of his previous home, and in their place was one large, open-plan expanse that looked fresh and inviting. Kyle stepped through the doorway, looking around him in amazement.
Large leather couches filled the living room, a huge flat-screen television adorned one wall, a neat table and chairs stood close to the kitchen, and a door, situated at the front of the living area on the left, led to what Kyle could only assume was Jared's bedroom.
"Not what I expected," he said while absently limping into the middle of what he remembered being the old hallway.
"Expected?" Kyle awkwardly turned to see Jared standing behind him. He shrugged, unable to give Jared an answer. It wasn't the time to tell him about the house or his association with the town; that was going to have to wait until he was able to control his emotions and hold up against the tirade he knew would be aimed at him once Jared learned the truth.
He sighed and lowered his gaze. "You mentioned something about a bed?"
Jared wrapped warm fingers around his upper arm and gently urged him toward the door he'd spotted. Kyle led himself be guided, too tired to complain or argue. He needed to get a good night's sleep, and then he'd confess.
The bedroom, like the rest of the house, had been renovated until it was unrecognizable. Kyle was certain this had once been the living room, and the arch that led into a fully fitted bathroom was once the kitchen. A large, king-size bed dominated the room, the covers a dark chocolate brown, masculine, minimal, and if this was Jared's bed, dangerous. He would have loved to sleep in the same bed with Jared but wasn't sure that was a good idea, not right now, not while things were up in the air between them, not until he'd had time to explain why he'd run away.
"Where are you going to sleep?" He didn't want to ask the question, but he needed to know what Jared's intentions were. If Jared wanted to sleep in the same bed with him, Kyle wouldn't stop him, but he didn't think it fair he encourage it.
Jared's response was a sharply indrawn breath and a dark scowl. Those multicolored flecks in his eyes darkened with a hurt more definable than anything Kyle had seen so far. Shit!
"Don't worry about me." The clipped words were not meant to ease Kyle's conscience, and they didn't.
"You can sleep here if you like. I don't want to put you out." Trying to make amends, Kyle hoped he sounded sincere, but by the way Jared started stripping him, using a hell of a lot less care than when he'd dressed him, Kyle didn't think Jared believed him.
The T-shirt was yanked off his head as Kyle stood immobile. It probably would have been easier to leave it on, but with the way Jared's jaw was clenched so tight, Kyle didn't have the nerve to say anything. When Jared pulled at the waistband of his jeans, Kyle gritted his own jaw, the slight jarring motion of the jeans being pulled down his hips causing pain to once more flare up from the dull ache it had been. He eyed the bed, and as Jared knelt to peel the jeans off his legs, Kyle sat down on the edge, grateful to get the weight off his good leg and to help Jared in the removal of his clothes.
"Jared--"
"Don't, okay. Just leave it." Jared stood, looking down at him, his eyes, for once, an unreadable force. "Get some rest," he said, turning, his back stiff, his shoulders tight, his limbs, his body rigid, indignant.
"Oh for fuck's sake! Jared!"
Jared turned, his anger tangible. "What?" he asked, his voice deep and thick with unexpressed emotion.
Kyle hesitated, knowing whatever he said now could either make or break them, but he didn't know what Jared wanted or even why he'd asked him here. Kyle bit his lip, afraid but needing to make some sort of attempt at a reconciliation or truce or something.
"What, Kyle?" Jared asked again, his expression now halfway to contempt.
"Don't walk away angry."
Jared's eyes widened, and he crossed his arms over his considerable chest, stretching the T-shirt almost to the breaking point. "What makes you think I'm angry?"
Kyle almost choked trying to hold back his sudden urge to laugh. "Maybe it's because I've pissed you off and you look like you're going to blow your top at any moment."
"Yeah, maybe," Jared allowed, the edge of his mouth lifting just a little. To Kyle it was a lot. Suddenly knowing what he had to do, he held out his hand, which Jared looked at suspiciously.
"Come to bed with me. Sleep with me."
The raised eyebrow he was given caused Kyle's stomach to drop.
"
Sleep
with you?"
"Unless you've got something else in mind." Did he just say that? And not just say it but adding a sexy purr to his voice that couldn't be misinterpreted? Kyle blinked, staring at Jared with butterflies now residing in his stomach.