Brock: A Bad Boy Romance (75 page)

“I understand why people go above and beyond for the people that they care for the most. I hope you know that you will never be alone. Even if I’m not there, you will feel me standing beside you and holding your hand to a higher standard. I will never let you go in life or in death and that is a promise that I’m going to keep by hell or high water. I don’t know what the next life holds, but I won’t be able to move on without you. You can’t fit the kind of love that we have in a box. It will stifle it and suffocate it, until there’s nothing left. That is exactly what would happen if you were to place that final nail in his coffin.” “
I will always remember the way that he kissed me and the feel of his body next to my own. I have to believe that things will work out the way that they are supposed to. If I’m to die on this day, I’m damned and determined to take a piece of Caleb with me. If I can kill him then that will be the icing on the cake, but will I be whole or splintered into a million pieces by having that weigh down on my conscience? I don’t think I will be alive long enough to find out.”

“I’m warning you that he can’t be trusted. He will know what is going on in your heart and he will be ready for you. That’s the one thing that I love about you more than anything else. You look for the good in every one and you can’t even fathom that real evil exists. You probably think that you can change him, but trust me he’s beyond redemption. The things that he has done are unforgivable and he will have to pay for them in the afterlife.” He saw the sliver of light and that gave him that extra bit of strength that he needed. He kicked out with his foot one more time, but it wasn’t just the door that he heard crack this time. His ankle broke in two places. He rolled around in agony.

That probably would have stopped Nicole from doing this, but she was already out the door and in the car by the time that he had done himself irreparable harm.

Chapter 2

Nicole looked back one last time and there was a moment of hesitation where she wanted to turn around and go back to the man that she loved. She had just received the coordinates for the meeting that was going to change her life for the better or for the worse.

         The ride over was ripe with tension and she was half expecting to see Randal riding to the rescue. The time for indecision was over and seeing the whites of the eyes of the devil was a good indication that she probably should have thought this through a lot harder than she did.

Caleb was standing by the car looking smug and folding his arms over his chest. He was still wearing the white suit that made him look like the good guy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He liked to play on that part and make people believe that he was there by the goodness of his heart. He was self destructive, manic and a little psychopathic, but at least he had found an outlet to direct most of those tendencies.

Caleb knew that he could’ve gone down a different road and lived a relatively happy and productive life. What was missing was the excitement and he had gotten that from the moment that he had first seen the fear in somebody’s eyes of losing it all. It was during a business transaction and one that shaped and defined who he was, as a man. The fear and the way that the man’s hand shook while signing over his business was like a light bulb going off over Caleb’s head.

It didn’t take him long to figure out that humanity was its own worst enemy. He saw the devastation and the destitution. He wanted to play on that like some sick guardian angel. The first time that he had seen the light in somebody’s eyes that was this close to ending it all was that thrill that he was looking for. He had to wait five years to get his just desert, but it was worth it in the end. Every month he showed one person heaven and then five years later, he would show them what hell was all about.

“I see that you have come alone. Do you have some idea that you want to deal with me permanently. If you look around, you’ll notice that I didn’t come alone. There are three sharpshooters in various locales. They have a gun trained you at this very moment. They’re being paid quite handsomely for their services. If they see anything that is out of the ordinary or makes them feel that I am in danger, then you won’t be standing there and breathing very much longer.” Caleb had his fair share of those that wanted to hurt him. The scar on his cheek was from that one and only guy that had gotten close enough to try something.

“I was going to kill you. There’s no point in lying to you, because you already pretty much know the writing on the wall. I decided on my way over here that you weren’t worth it. I would only go to jail and even if I didn’t, I would always have your death hanging over me any time that I closed my eyes. Even in death, you would still haunt me and that is something that I can’t allow to happen.” Nicole couldn’t see the sharp shooters and wasn’t even sure that they were there in the first place. This could’ve been his way of keeping things cordial. “Seeing you walk around and making people think that you’re their savior is wrong. You’re their funeral and once they sign on that dotted line, you’re practically guaranteeing that suicide isn’t far from their thoughts after

the five years.”
“I still want to wipe that smug look off his face, but I can’t do it the way that I was intending. He’s not exactly an easy man to reach and he will disappear without a trace after negotiations are completed.”

“I told you when I first met you that I like you. You have this way about you and maybe there is some way for you to save face. You obviously did this to protect the man you love, but I really don’t think that he’s worthy of your kind of protection. Standing up for him is only going to make you drown. I’m going to be right there to push you under with my foot. You probably thought that by being a woman that I would go easy on you, but I’ve had several women that have taken the chance with those five years. I can’t deny that I get a thrill every time that they have that pen in their hand. There’s indecision in their eyes and then finally that sense of triumph that comes from scribbling their John Hancock on the document. That may not be my Christmas, but it certainly is my birthday.” Caleb knew that his Christmas was the day that he pulled the rug out from underneath them.

“You can’t stand there and tell me that you think that what you’re doing is right. There has to be a small part underneath it all that knows that this is wrong. Do you have any humanity or has that been burned out of you from some unknown source in your childhood.” “
The life that I was leaving behind me was cold without Randal by my side. He made it all worthwhile and I didn’t feel like I was just amongst all the other sheep. I have to find a way to get underneath Caleb’s skin. I have to find a way to reveal to him the underlying reason for the reason why he’s like this. If I don’t ask any questions, then I won’t get any answers. I have to strip away what I see on the outside for what’s going on in the inside.”

“It’s interesting that you would try to fixate on my humanity. I’ve never thought of myself as a good guy or bad guy. I’m just the guy that has your fate in the palm of his hands. It’s that power of good over evil that makes it too damned delicious to stop any time soon. I even think about having a prodigy and passing on everything that I know to the next generation. Anything that comes from my genes will be cursed by the need to hurt others. By doing this, I give them what they need, instead of trying to take somebody’s life and then landing in jail for many years to come. I know that I’m damaged and that I’m not right in the head, but I’ve learned to accept it. The kind of love that you share with Randal is something that I’m not capable of. I don’t even know how anybody could get that invested in another human being. Even my child when it’s born will not have the kind of love and nurturing that it needs to take its first steps into the world.”

“I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you won’t know what it’s like to be in love and truly happy for the first time in your life. I feel sorry for the man that you have become. You don’t know any different and this is the only way that you feel alive. It’s not so much the things that you have said to me, but it’s the things that you do. It’s how I feel every time that you’re close to me. It’s like somebody is walking over my grave and spitting on everything that I believe in. I don’t know if you truly have these sharpshooters out there waiting to gun me down in cold blood. It could be just a bluff. You wear that suit like it’s your own personal armor. You project this kind of innocence, but you can’t hide what’s in your eyes.” “
I wonder when the last time that he saw a piece of his heart that wasn’t black as night. Did he even have his humanity when he was

born? He speaks like he has always been this way and that in itself makes me pity him, but also fear him at the same time.”

The only thing that Nicole could hold onto was that feeling of her secret admirer. The little gifts and the furtive glances from the man that had turned out to be more than she expected was something to cherish. He stared down this man that couldn’t stop smiling like this was the best thing that he had ever done in his life. Nicole took out the gun and had it in her hands before laying it on the table with both hands draped over top of it.

“If you’re trying to scare me, then you’re going to have to do a whole lot better than that, Nicole. You already know that by bringing that with you that you have sealed your fate. You either die here today, or we come to a mutually beneficial arrangement. I’m more than happy to leave Randal out of it. He has already paid for his life of luxury. He won’t be able to live without somebody else keeping him in the lifestyle that he has grown to love. He’s accustomed to the finer things and you may not believe this, but I seriously don’t think that he’s able to live without it.” Caleb took out the pen and laid it alongside the gun that was partially hidden underneath Nicole’s hands. That pen was a family heirloom that had been passed down from generation to generation. It was made of solid gold.

He took out a document and opened it flat on the table, before turning it in her direction. He motioned with his head for her to read and to find out exactly what she was getting herself into.

Nicole could almost see the blood dripping off the pointed end of the pen. Those that had used it to sign in the past were most likely not amongst the living anymore. Dying at their own hand was more satisfying than having to live on the streets begging for food. Any money that they accumulated would be taken away from them. They could try to hide a small meager amount, but that wouldn’t be enough for those that had felt what it was like to have people admire and envy them from afar.

“You really expect me to pick up that pen and sign my name on the dotted line. To do that would mean giving up whatever life I have left. I would enjoy everything that there is that comes from having money, but those five years will go by just like that. Before long, I would be standing right here again looking at you with a bit of gray in your beard and your hair. You would still have those cold and deadly eyes. Caleb, don’t you see that by doing this you are committing a circle that cannot be broken. It’s this destructive cycle that needs to be put to rest. I’m seriously considering picking up this gun and shooting it. I don’t know if I will live by doing that, but it might be that satisfaction that will be something that I can hold onto walking through those pearly gates.” “
I’ve always believed that people were capable of change, but Caleb makes me think otherwise. I thought I saw something a moment ago, but it was like this fleeting image. The glint of a scope now extinguished. I have to wonder if god himself has now chosen to act on the behest of the human populace. Could I really believe that a higher power was at work here and was that the only thing that I could hold onto in my last minutes on this earth?”

“I had no idea what I was up against it. I actually believed for a moment that you were capable of picking up that gun and going out in a blaze of Glory. I was born this way and I grew up thinking of how I could make other people’s

lives miserable. I would look into their eyes and I would know that they would be, so much better off taking their last breath. I’ve tried to wear a million masks, but I can never run away from the one that I wear every day like a badge of honor. There’s no escape from the grim reaper and there’s no escape from the IRS. In that same a guard, there’s no escape from the final bell and that tick of the clock that makes you think that I’m coming.” Caleb tapped his finger alongside the pen.

All the losers and the winners made no apologies for how they lived their lives. Caleb looked in the mirror and could see a man that was born for devastation and destruction. He liked that feeling of making people suffer without putting the gun to their head himself. He had actually had a couple of old clients sit in that very chair and blow their brains out right in front of him. The arterial spray against his face and the warm droplets of blood on his skin made him laugh out loud.

“I have to tell you that you’re trying my patience little girl. You really should have come here and been prepared to take my deal. You can pick up that gun, but I don’t think that you’re going to get a chance to use it. Once you lift it off the table that will be where you will hear the bullet coming out of the chamber. Your finger won’t land on the trigger and the life that you hold, so dear will be snuffed out with one motion of my hand. They know where their bread is buttered. You should come with me for a moment and I have something to share with you that might make you change your mind about what you plan to do it here today.”

Chapter 5

“I don’t think that there’s anything that you can show me that will make me even consider signing my name to that blood document.”
” He wasn’t even listening to me and was now walking away with his hands behind his back. I felt compelled to follow him out of curiosity alone. We were on his property and the vast lawn in the front of the house did not even compare to what was hidden in back away from prying eyes.”

“There have been many that have taken this secret to their grave and I mean that literally. This is where I lay them to rest. They’re not given the dignity of being buried someplace of their own choosing. This is where they lie at my feet. I am able to look over them every morning with my cup of coffee in my hand.” Caleb walked amongst the gravestones and looked back to see the stunned look of shock on Nicole’s face. This was where dreams went to die.

         
“I want you to understand this isn’t where I find my power. This is where I get the necessary jolt in the morning to get up with a smile on my face. I don’t put the implement of their demise in their hands. They do that on their own. They think they shock me by killing themselves. They think that they are making their final bow, as some kind of snub to me. What they don’t realize is that is exactly what I want them to do. It gives me satisfaction to see them at the top of the mountain then falling on their own sword. Nicole, you still don’t get it. It’s not something that I have to do. It’s something that I need to do to keep myself sane. I know how stupid that might sound, but I know what works for me.” Caleb saw the three red dots on her chest and one mere flick of his finger or knowing glance would give her a spot right here in the graveyard with the rest of them.

Caleb knew that would be too easy and the hardest part and the most thrilling was to convince a potential client to take him up on his offer. He was trying to get a good read on Nicole, but she was keeping her interest close to her vest. It was obvious that he had her intrigued and eventually she would pull on that line with the bait that he had provided. He would be able to reel her in like all the others.

“If I didn’t think that you were sick before, then this proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I can’t believe that you would do all of this and consider yourself to be above the law. You play with people’s lives, turn them upside down and then you expect them to thank you afterwards. I know that it doesn’t surprise you that they take their lives and why would it. We’re just pieces on the chessboard. We don’t even have control over how we play the game. You have everything stacked in your favor. How fair do you think that is?” Nicole saw another glint. She was beginning to get an inkling that this was not a coincidence. “
It would be nice to wipe that look off his face, but to even lay a hand on him is tantamount to suicide. He would have no problem killing me and most likely would not think of me afterwards. I am glad that Randal isn’t here to witness any of this. It might have been wrong of me to do this on my own. We are much stronger together than we are separated.”

“I know what you’re trying to do, Nicole. You want to get me to admit something that isn’t true. You want me to say that I have remorse, but I don’t think that I can give you that kind of satisfaction. I have my money working for me and it’s a bit of a bonus when one of my clients takes it on themselves