Broken (9 page)

              I take her hand and lead her down the hallway to my room. She mimics the same behavior as she did in my living room, taking in her surroundings. I like how she is comfortable moving around my place like she belongs there. Her hands are on my dresser drawer. She peeks over her shoulder, “Are your t-shirts in here? I’d like to get out of these clothes.” Words fail me, so I nod.  “You don’t talk much.”

             
There’s a grin on my face, “I don’t mind talking. I have to say, Lena, you have rendered me speechless.”

             
Intrigue embellishes her face, “How so?”

             
“You’re not like most girls. Are you?” It’s almost a statement.

             
Lena picks a shirt from the drawer. She’s facing me now. Like it is not a big deal, she removes her shirt. The simple black bra is a big contrast against her white skin. It boosts her flesh up making the mounds spilling out so fucking enticing. They’re missing hickeys. My hickeys. Looking straight at me, she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra letting the silky garment fall to the ground. Her breasts are completely exposed now and I can’t help but focusing on the two little pink buds. I don’t know why guys have that urge to suck them but, man, I want to. So. Fucking. Bad.

             
She puts her arms in to my t-shirt and covers herself. Next, she removes her boots and skirt. Pretty, little, Lena is standing in front of me in her black thong and my t-shirt. Fuck, yes. “I used to be like other girls.
Now I’m just a player in the masculine game of unmarried sex. I don’t want personal commitments, cultural obligations, and responsible habits. I just want what I want. My body is nothing special. From what you tell me, you have played this game too. You must see tits and ass quite often. Seeing my tits and my ass isn’t any different than seeing someone else’s parts.
”

             
Lena’s got my attention and it’s not because she is hotter than hell in my clothes. “I beg to differ.”

             
Smirking at me she says, “Eric, what kind of game are you playing?”

             
I sit on my bed staring too long in her direction. My head drops to my hands and I rub my eyes. “No games, Lena. I’m like you. I fuck. I don’t love. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m incapable of loving any girl. If you were some random girl I had met tonight, I’d definitely be inside of you right now. But, you’re Bree’s friend. Inexplicably, I find myself wanting to see you again. If we fuck tonight, that won’t happen.”

             
Jumping on my bed, she allows my t-shirt to ride up enough for me to see her ass cheeks. I want to bang my head against something hard to knock the sense back into it. I don’t think she is doing it on purpose…that’s the sucky part. The girl is walking sex. Now, I have to spend the night with her; cuddled up against her without touching. If there is hell on earth, I’m living it right now. She’s on her belly peeking over her shoulder. “I get it. I do. What you don’t get is that I’m the same as you. But, it will take time for you to see that. Anyhow…since we’re not fucking, let’s go to sleep, shall we? It’s your turn to strip.”

             
I fight the immobilization that hums through my body. Truth is, I have managed never to take my shirt off in front of any girl my entire sexual life. Sure, they all have seen the bottom half but never the top portion of my body. There is a good reason for that. It’s a fucking horror show. My dad used to get off using my chest as an ashtray. I have burn marks all across my chest and back. Many of them I was able to get masked by tattoos but I never wanted to take the chance of anyone discovering them. Instead of explaining my shitty childhood to Lena, I tell her a half-truth. “I’m going to take a quick shower. Make yourself at home.” I really do need that shower. The fucking hard-on, in my pants, needs to get hosed down before I get in to that bed with her. I gather my stuff and head down the hall to take the coldest shower ever.

***

LENA

             
No one has ever denied me. Ever. Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it. Plus, I don’t buy the excuse Bree and Josh care all that much about Eric’s sex life. Bree told me to go for it. And, Josh did leave me in Eric’s hands. He knows his friend better than anyone and the kind of guy he is.  It’s a shame…really…I had my heart set on sleeping with Eric tonight. It’s been a few weeks since I used and abused a guy. I have a feeling Eric would have been fun to play with.

             
I hear the shower running and it takes everything I have not to walk down that hallway naked and get in with Eric. I’m not desperate, but my body feels a pull towards him that I haven’t felt in years. It’s a pull I am going to fight. I can’t lose control now. I’ve worked so damn hard to forget Levi and what he did to me. Every now and then, I can still feel a faint sting from the pain. I can’t go through that again.

             
It’s going to be hard. Eric is what every girl dreams about and what every mother and father doesn’t want for their daughter. He’s the forbidden fruit. And…that…makes me want to fuck him more. There’s something hiding behind those haunting, blue eyes and even though I shouldn’t pry, I want to know what it is.  Curiosity did kill the cat. But, this kitty doesn’t give a shit.

             
As I hear the water running, I picture the beads of water running down the length of his slim, yet muscular body. I imagine massaging the shampoo through his dirty blonde hair that falls at the base of his neck. Somehow, my mind wanders to his long neck and how I would lick the water from it. And his gauged out lobes…God…there’s another hole I’d like to stick my tongue through. Damn it, he’s got me more than hot and bothered.

             
The water stops. I wait for his return. My tortured thoughts are pushing me to make another go of my plan to seduce him. He was adamant about not fucking me. He really didn’t say he didn’t want to do other things. I’m conflicted. Do I try again? Or get shot down?

             
When he enters the room, I lay on my side leaving room for him to snuggle behind me. He’s in his boxers and a t-shirt. If I was Eric and I really wanted to resist someone, I would have put more clothes on. Hell, I’d be wrapped in two Snuggie
s
®
.
I feel the bed indent and I move my backside up against the front of him. Eric is freezing.

             
I flip onto my back. I put my right arm behind my head. “How cold of a shower did you take?” I snort.

             
A shy, lop-sided grin appears, “Artic cold.”

             
I laugh. “Did it work?”

             
“Not one bit.”

             
“You’d think you would have taken care of that while you were in the bathroom alone. Why didn’t you?” I’m curious.

             
“Because, if I were to rub one out, it still wouldn’t cure the itch I have right now, Lena.”

             
I shake my head in agreement, thinking of my own struggles I couldn’t stop thinking about him when he left the room. “Eric, we don’t have to torture each other. I’m attracted to you. You are attracted to me. We both don’t want a commitment. How about we make a compromise?”

             
A cocky smirk beautifies his face, “A compromise? This should be interesting. Can’t wait to hear what you have in that tainted brain of yours. Enlighten me, Lena.”

             
I’m hopeful. I just want a little action tonight. I think we can get around the no penetration rule Eric self imposed on himself. “How about we play a little? If it gets out of hand…we stop. You go to the bathroom and take care of your problem. I stay here. Or…we watch each other?”

             
A huge grin spreads across his beautiful face. “Fuck. Fine…let’s try.” I expected more of a fight. But, I’m relieved I don’t have to work too hard.

             
I’m more than excited. I practically leap on to him to straddle him. He props himself up so I am on his lap and we are face to face. His hands cup my face but instead of bringing my face towards his, he gives me an intense look. It’s a look that scares me a bit. It’s like he is looking in to my soul trying to see my secrets. I want to look away but I can’t. So, I gaze in to his pretty blue eyes trying to sneak a peek at his secrets. He looks sad, tormented, but happy, all at the same time. I need to break the connection because connecting is not the goal. Physical gratification is the goal. “Are you going to kiss me or what?”

             
He lets out a snort, “Yeah, Lena. I’m going to kiss you,” His hands are still cupping my face. “Close your eyes.” I follow his command. Slowly, I feel him pull me towards him. Then, I feel his full lips against mine.

             
He has yet to give me his tongue. I want it so bad. But, something tells me that I’m supposed to wait. So, I do. My mouth opens with his and he leisurely slips his tongue in mouth. Playfully, he plays with mine. No one has ever kissed me with this much attention and care. It’s like he wants to ignite every sense I have and he’s only in my mouth.

             
Eric pulls his mouth from mine. This time, he lets his hands drop to my neck and brings it to his mouth. He sucks, ever so gently, every part of my neck edging his way up to behind my right ear. My senses are on overdrive. He’s leading and I’m not used to giving up control. I’m scared. It’s becoming sensual and passionate. I need it to be rough and self-seeking.

             
Before I can gain control again, his mouth is back on mine. I haven’t made out with someone this long since Levi. It’s too intimate. Why can’t I break free? Suddenly, I get an idea. I pull away and rest my bottom on Eric’s pelvic area. Big mistake. No pun intended. I can feel how big it is through his boxers. I use this as my strength to do what I’m about to do. My hands travel to the bottom of the shirt Eric let me borrow and I slowly lift the shirt over my head, throwing it to the floor.

             
Being exposed above him has given me a bit of power back. This time, I bring my hands to his neck. His eyes are lustful and glazed. “Be careful, Lena. You know whatever you start, needs to be finished. Somehow. Someway.”

             
Instead of answering, I bring his head foreword. I let him use his imagination of where to put his mouth. He doesn’t disappoint. His mouth goes where I need him the most. Before I know it, his mouth is latched onto my right breast, sucking and licking. God, what this guy can do with his mouth. I’m losing it. He’s going from left to right using every tool he has. If his mouth isn’t on me, his hands are. I hear his faint grunts as he works me. This is turning me on even more. My pants match his grunts and we both are beyond losing control.

             
My body feels like it’s on edge. I want to come so bad. More than that, I want Eric to come too. For reasons, I can’t understand, I want him to remember this night and remember me. I reach for his shirt to take it off and give him the attention he is giving me. His hands jump to mine, blocking my effort. It startles me. His head lifts frommy chest. When my eyes meet his, I can see he is scared or ashame
d
–
not sure which, yet. “Are you okay?”

             
Player, Eric, reappears, “Yeah, baby. Just still a little cold. Plus, I just got some new ink and I just put some Aquafo
r
®
on it. I don’t want to get the jelly all over the bed.” A fake smile spreads across his face.

             
I leave it alone. I know more than anyone how to hide. If he needs to do that right now…fine. Right now, I have to warm him up again. My head falls to his and I begin to kiss him roughly bringing this experience to the level it needs to get to. Not too far into it, he’s groaning into my mouth. I grind myself into him, feeling his erection against my nethermost region. It ignites more senses below than I ever thought I had. He matches the rhythm of my grinding. I can’t keep my moans quiet anymore. So, I just let go, telling him how good he feels and how much I wish he were inside of me.

             
His hands slide up my thighs to front of my panties. The tips of his fingers move the fabric aside; giving his fingers access to the area I want to him to touch me the most. Two of his fingers begin to rub the nub and I am bucking against him. Then, they leave the area and I almost protest and drag them back. But, they travel down and enter me. Since I’m on top, I can move how I want to, as if his dick was really in me. I do. I ride his fingers begging and pleading with him not to stop.

             
“Fuck, Lena. You’re so fucking wet. I mean soaking wet.” He doesn’t need to tell me what I already know. It’s like he can’t believe that he is doing this to me. Hell, I can’t believe I’m reacting to him this way.

             
As I continue to fuck his fingers, I begin to suck on his neck, occasionally telling him how good he feels. “You feel so good, Eric. So…fucking good. I wish it was your dick in me.”

             
And, with that, his fingers pump harder and harder in to me. I can’t hold on any longer and I let go, screaming his name over and over again. I don’t think I have ever screamed anyone’s name other than Levi’s. Mostly, because I couldn’t give a shit what their name is and never care to ask most of the time.  “Shit. Shit, Lena. Keep going. I got this.”