Authors: Tabitha Freeman
“That’d be great if you came,” I told her. “It’d definitely be more fun with a sane person there.” She giggled.
“Not sure if I will ever fit into that category again,” she sighed. “But anyway, I got your letter. You wanna take a walk outside where we can have some privacy?”
“Sure,” I nodded.
“Maybe I won’t have to fix this situation after all,” I started the conversation once we were outside. “I haven’t seen Conner in two days. He’s just disappeared.”
Channing gave me a look.
“What do you mean ‘fix the situation’?” she asked. “What’s there to fix?”
“Surel
y you read my letter?” I frowned
.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “But there was nothing in that letter suggesting that you needed to ‘fix’ anything.”
“It’s wrong to have any kind of friendship with him,” I said. “Isn’t that what you’re thinking, too?” She laughed.
“No,” she answered. “I was thinking the opposite!”
“Really?” I was surprised.
“Did you think I was going to tell you to just drop him like a bad habit?” she asked.
“Maybe?” I replied. “Why not? It seems like the most sensible thing to do.”
“And why is that?” she asked me. “He may be the best thing that ever happened to you, Ava.”
“What do you mean?” I was taken off guard by her comment.
“You know, you didn’t mention Tyson once in your letter to me,” she pointed out, her voice gentle. I looked down at my feet.
“Oh, I’m sure he’s in there somewhere,” I mumbled.
“No,” she said. “Not once. It’s Conner from front to back.”
I didn’t reply.
“You’re falling in love with him,” she spoke up after a moment’s silence. I looked over at her quickly.
“What!” I exclaimed. “No way. You’ve got it all wrong. No, no, no.”
“Okay,” she said, slowly. “What have you two been talking about the last
month
?”
“Lots of things,” I told her. “Tyson, of course, college, high school, hobbies…that kind of thing. Things we like, things we like to do…just typical stuff you talk about to a shrink.”
“Does Julianne know about the time when you were in junior high school and you pushed a girl into a swimming pool because she was making fun of your bathing suit?” Channing asked me, abruptly.
“No,” I answered. “Why?”
“Does your mom know about that?” She asked.
“No. Why?”
“Did you ever tell Tyson about that?”
“I don’t think so. Why are you asking?”
“Because in the letter you wrote to me, you told me that was one of the things you told Conner.”
I knew where she was going with this and I didn’t like it, so I wasn’t about to let her finish making her point.
“It’s not a big deal,” I said, rather too quickly. “It’s just one of those random things, like what your favorite color is. It’s not important.”
“Sure it is,” Channing argued. “And for whatever reason, that’s just another thing that you’re able to share with him that you never shared with anyone else.”
“I’ll never love anyone but Tyson,” I told her, firmly. “You know that.”
“Only if you never
let
yourself love anyone else,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re falling in love with Conner Walker. You know you are.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s ridiculous. How’s life outside of Craneville?”
“Oh, just dandy,” she laughed at the sudden change in subject. “One day at a time, I guess. Everyone out there still looks at me like I’m crazy, you know? But maybe I am…”
“Have you seen Aurelia since you’ve been here?” I asked her.
“No, actually,” she answered
. “But I plan on it. How is she doing? Still as annoying as ever?”
“Surprisingly, no,” I said. “She hasn’t spoken to me in a couple of weeks. I haven’t seen her around too much. It’s odd. Don’t know what’s got into her.”
“Hmm,” was all Channing said, but by the look on her face, I could tell she knew something she wasn’t telling me.
“What is it?” I asked her. She shook her head.
“Oh, nothing,” she sighed. “I just worry about he
r sometimes. I know she’s been
getting letters and phone calls from Sam. That’s definitely not a good thing…that’s what drove her over the deep end before.”
“Yeah, I remember you telling me that,” I said. “But she should know he’ll just screw her over again. It’s her own fault for letting him do it.”
“It’s hard to let go when you’re so in love with someone, though,” Channing pointed out. “You should know that better than anyone, Ava.”
I didn’t reply. I was embarrassed for judging Aurelia so easily, no matter how much I disliked her.
Channing and I walked in silence for a little while, until I finally looked over at her, with a smile and said,
“I’m glad you came.”
“Me, too.”
19
.
“What’s gotten into you lately?” Henry asked me, as we wound brightly colored streamers around the activities room later that evening.
“What are you talking about?” I asked him, with a heavy sigh.
“You know what I’m talking about, Ava Darton,” he replied, dryly. “You’ve been moping around this place for the last couple of days, and
frankly, it’s making me…crazy
.” I looked at him and he threw his head back, letting out a loud laugh.
“I’m glad you can amuse yourself so easily,” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Those crazy jokes never get old, do they?” he chuckled. “Anyway, answer my question. Why are you acting all depressed?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I answered him with a voice dripping in sarcasm. “My
fiancé
died a while back, I tried to kill myself three times, and I haven’t s
een my mother in months. There are
just a few little reasons to be…shall we say, under the weather?”
I was surprised when he laughed again.
“It’s because of the shrink’s son, isn’t it?” he acted as though I hadn’t just delivered an awkward and extremely tragic monologue. I didn’t answer him, but instead busied myself with the streamers.
“Fine,” Henry sighed. “We’ll talk about it when you decide not to be so stubborn. I got to see Channing for a second today.”
“Yeah, I took a walk with her,” I smiled. “It was really good to see her. She brought me a dress for the party.”
“Oh yeah?” he replied. “I’m excited! I get to see my little Ava all dressed up! It’ll be just like prom all over again! Say, are we supposed to have dates, too?”
“I don’t know,” I giggled. “I wouldn’t think so. We’re crazies, not high school seniors.”
“Well, if I find out we’re supposed to, I’ll have to get to you before Shakespeare,” Henry said, matter-of-factly. “Or the shrink’s son.”
I shot him a glare.
“Why do you say that?” my tone was severe.
“Both men are crazy for you,” Henry shrugged. “And you know it.”
“Shakespeare is not,” I argued. “He’s just…you just don’t understand. He just needs a female figure in his life. He’s just so gorgeous physically that every female presence in his life sees him just as that
—
not as a person. He just needs
someone
around him that can understand him as a person, not just as a man.”
“Sounds like you two are soul mates,” Henry replied, lightly. I rolled my eyes.
“Shut up,” I grumbled.
“So what about Conner Walker, then?” Henry asked me. “You didn’t argue about him being crazy for you.”
“That goes without saying,” I snapped. “The last thing Conner Walker would ever put on his plate is to be crazy about someone who’s…well,
crazy
.”
The door opened then and my heart stopped when I looked over to see who’d walked in.
“Ava?” he looked only at me, as if Henry wasn’t even in the room. He was walking slowly towards me.
“Hey,” I said, putting down the streamers with suddenly shaking hands. “What’s up?”
“Just making my rounds,” Conner said, smiling. “Hey, Henry.”
“Hello,” Henry was grinning.
“Oh?” I asked, avoiding any eye contact with him. I couldn’t give Henry the satisfaction. “Back to rounds? I thought you were gone from our ward.” I tried to keep this statement as casually cool as possible, as if I’d barely noticed his absence for the last two days.
“Gone?” he raised his eyebrows and stopped just a few feet in front of me. “Why would I be gone? I’ve just been stuck up in the critical wards for a couple of days, helping out, learning. I’m back now, though.”
“Oh,” was all I could think to say, and I picked the streamers back up. My hands were still trembling uncontrollably. I hoped he didn’t notice.
“It’s beginning to look like a party in here,” he commented.
“Thanks,” Henry spoke up. “Do you want to take over my part for a minute? I’ve got to use the bathroom something terrible.” The look I gave Henry then could’ve burned a hole straight through his forehead. That sneaky little…
“Sure thing,” Conner smiled, walking over to Henry and taking the streamers from him.
“Thanks,” Henry said, giving me a sly smile. “Be right back.”
But he didn’t come right back. Ten minutes went by and
neither Conner nor
I had said a word. I never would’ve thought I’d be
able to concentrate so intensely
on something such as taping streamers up on a wall.
“How’ve you been these last couple of days?” Conner spoke up finally. I looked over at him and he was taping his streamers to the higher part of the wall. Again, I realized how tall he was
compared to me
.
“Just fine,” I answered, standing on my tiptoes as I tried to hang my streamers just as high on the wall as he was.
“Did you notice when I didn’t come ‘round?” he asked then, and I was surprised at how bold he had been. I didn’t look at him.
“Yes,” I answered truthfully.
“I thought about stopping by before going home,” he went on. “Just to let you know where I’d been. But I figured you…you wouldn’t want that.”
My stomach began twisting in knots.
“You don’t have to let me know,” I told him. “You’re not obligated to tell me personal things about your life.”
“I want to.”
The roll of streamers fell out of my hands and my face was suddenly hot. The streamers rolled across the floor and stopped when they’d hit the side of Conner’s shoe. I just stood there. He bent over, picked up the roll, and slowly walked over to where I stood, frozen in place. He held it out to me and wordlessly, I took it.
“I’m sorry if that was too forward,” he said, his voice low and soft. “It’s just…well, you’ve been very honest and straightforward with me these last few weeks, so I thought you deserved the same.”
I nodded, looking down at the ground.
“Thank you,” I managed to croak. I turned around then and began unrolling the streamers again,
trying to pretend like he hadn’t said what he’d said, that he hadn’t seen my flushed face and shaking hands. I stood on my tiptoes then, trying to tape the streamers up where I wanted them.
“Here, let me help.”
And suddenly, he was right behind me, putting his hands over mine to take the streamers. His scent filled my nostrils, causing my trembling to become almost seizure-like. He was so much taller than I and leaned forward, his chest touching my back as he taped the streamers high up on the wall. When he was done, he brought his arms back down, brushing them against mine.
“I have a height advantage,” he murmured, his breath warm on my ear. I shuddered suddenly and made the mistake of turning slightly to face him. He was much closer than I anticipated, and when I moved, my cheek touched his. But he didn’t move away. Neither did I. Our eyes locked and we both just stood there. I’m not sure if I breathed, or if he breathed, or if he could hear the loud pounding of my heart in my chest. Suddenly, his warm hand was on my cheek and he was closer to my face, closer…
The door opened with a loud bang and I practically leapt back at least three feet. Henry stood in the doorway, staring at us. For the first time in his life, I don’t think he knew what to say. I looked back at Conner who stood there, his face twisted in what looked to be utter confusion. Without a word, he dropped the roll of streamers from his hand and quickly walked out of the room. I stood there, shaking and feeling completely abandoned.