Authors: Kelly Elliott
I could tell her Ryder was here for a lunch meeting, but I thought I would put this bitch in her place once and for all. “Lucy has a friend who is making my wedding dress.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Your what?” Shaking her head, she let out a dry laugh as she said, “I swear you said wedding dress.”
Holding up my left hand, I smiled as big as I possibly could. I could have let out my old cheerleader personality with an
Oh my gawd, Ryder asked me to marry him! Ahh!
Instead, I simply said, “You heard right. Ryder and I are getting married on Valentine’s Day.”
I don’t know why, but her deer-in-the-headlights look made me want to do a little dance.
I wonder if I asked her to give me a tour of my future home again if she would be down for it?
“Vanessa? Are you okay? You seem a little … stunned.”
Her eyes flicked between the ring, the house, and me. Clearing her throat, she forced a smile. “I’m fine. I was just taken aback I guess. I didn’t realize he was that serious about you.”
You. Did. Not. You. Bitch.
Narrowing my eyes at her, I stated, “I didn’t realize you were that close to him to make that assumption.”
With a look that honestly should have had me falling over dead, she screwed her face and shot daggers at me. “We’re not. I just didn’t picture Ryder settling.”
“You mean settling down.”
“No, I meant settling.”
Oh, hell no.
Walking toward her, I stopped just short. “Listen here, Vanessa. I’ve got your number. I grew up with a brother and a best friend who taught me how to throw a right hook, and trust me when I say I am not afraid to use it.”
Her mouth fell open. “Are you threatening to hit me?”
“I’m just telling you that if you think you can fuck around with me, I’m here to tell you you cannot. I love Ryder and he loves me. I’m wearing his ring on my finger and if we’re going to be neighbors someday I suggest you get it through your damn head now that you will never get your greedy little paws on this house or my fiancé. Am I making myself clear?”
Vanessa took a step back. “I’ve never.”
“And you never will.” Lifting my hand, I waved my fingers and said, “Bye, neighbor.”
Spinning on my heels, I couldn’t help but do an internal jump and fist pump. I’ve always wanted to tell someone off. Damn, it felt good; she was the first one I tried it out on.
Glancing back to where she had been standing, I smiled when I saw her walking away. Looking forward, I made a mental note to tell Walker his baby sister was a bad ass!
I STARED AT the middle of the table as my father spoke about the use of vaccines on the cattle being raised on organic farms.
My head was going off in a million different directions as I tried to focus on what my father was saying. It’s not like I could afford to be daydreaming. If I planned on running the ranch someday, I needed to stay focused.
The next thing I knew, Dad was standing and thanking everyone for taking the time out of their busy day.
When the last person left, he turned and looked at me. “Where in the hell where you during that?”
I pulled my head back and looked at him like I had no clue what he was talking about. “Don’t pull that look with me Ryder. I’m not your mother. You were a million miles away.”
Pushing my fingers through my hair, I blew out a breath. “Dad, if I tell you something, will you swear not to share it with Mom?”
He lifted a brow. “It depends. If I deem it something she doesn’t need to know, then yes.”
“Well, how do I know if you will deem it something she needs to know or not before I tell you?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know. Guess you’ll have to tell me to find out.”
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I shook my head. “Never mind. I’ll deal with it.”
The papers he had been looking at dropped to the desk. “Would it make you feel better if I promised not to tell her?”
“Yes. It really would. I’m not even sure I should be telling you.”
He leaned back in the chair and rested his chin on his fingers like he always does when he is intrigued. “Well hell, now I want to know.”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure you do, but I feel like I need to tell you.”
He dropped his hands. “Ryder, is everything okay? You look a bit lost.”
Swallowing hard, I took in a deep breath. Was this right of me to be telling my father Kate was pregnant when she died? I’d hardly slept a wink last night thinking about it. If it would have been my daughter, I think I would have wanted to know. My mother on the other hand, I didn’t think she should know. It would only make the loss that much more.
“I am, Dad. I’m so conflicted on if I should say anything or keep this to myself.”
“Only you can decide.”
I nodded. “Ava found a diary hidden in a secret compartment of the desk in the old stone house.”
“Who’s diary was it?”
Swallowing hard, I barely spoke the word, “Kate’s.”
He sat forward. “Kate’s? She found a diary that was Kate’s?”
I nodded.
“When?”
“The same day she found the family Bible.”
He constricted his face. “Why didn’t she tell anyone?”
“She did. She told me and Jennifer and we both agreed because of the very private things written in the diary, and the fact that Kate hid it so well, that she would not want Mom of all people reading it.”
He looked out the window for a moment before agreeing. “I agree. I don’t think your mother should know about it. Has Ava read it?”
“Yes. It’s weird that she even found it, Dad. Ever since the first day we stayed in that cabin, Ava’s been saying she feels a presence there and she swears it’s Kate.”
My father smiled warmly. “They are so much alike. Even down to the designing. It’s as if fate brought her into your life.”
“I know. But Ava told me something last night that she herself has been debating about.”
His eyes filled with worry. “Ryder, is this something Kate would want me to know?”
My heart ached. It would have been something she would have wanted all of us to know … but on her terms.
“I think so … eventually. She’d want us to know in her own little way. Her terms.”
With a chuckle, he closed his eyes. “I miss her. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. Sometimes I think I see her in a crowd and I have to catch my breath.”
I knew exactly what he meant. “There was this one time, at a concert I was at with Nate and Jennifer, and I swear I saw her. I even walked up to the girl, took her by the arm and turned her to face me. She looked exactly like Kate.”
We sat for a few moments, lost in our own memories of her. “Back to what Ava found out. Um … well … shit I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just say it like Ava did. Dad, Kate was pregnant when she died.”
His face turned white immediately. “What did you say?”
Jesus, I really am just like my father.
“Kate, was pregnant. Jackson was the father. She wasn’t that far along, and from what Ava said, Kate had planned on telling the family but thought she had time to get things settled. Whatever she meant by that.”
He sat there staring at me. “Dad? You’re not having a heart attack or anything are you because I totally didn’t pay attention to a damn thing you said in that meeting just now.”
He blinked a few times and looked at me. “No … I’m not having a heart attack. I’m in shock. Let it sink in please before you start cracking jokes.”
“Sorry. I’m just unsure myself how to process this and it’s been over twenty-four hours since I found out.”
My father stood. “I agree, your mother shouldn’t know about this … at least not right now. Let me think about this. Have you told anyone else?”
“No. Ava’s only told me and we are having dinner with Jackson tonight.”
His eyes widened in horror. “What? Why?”
“I want answers.”
He frowned. “What kind of answers? Your sister was pregnant. Do you want Jackson to describe what they did?”
My stomach turned. “Ugh. Really, Dad? No, I want to know how she felt about it. Was she happy? Did they tell Jackson’s parents? What in the hell was she going to do being pregnant at seventeen and in high school?”
Shaking his head slowly, he walked up to me. “Ryder, what does any of that matter?”
The lump in my throat made it hard to talk. “I don’t know how to explain it, Dad, but I have to know.”
Standing, he walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know if Jackson is going to be able to tell you anything that is going to help.”
“I know.”
“All right, I don’t want you hanging on to some false hope that he can give you the answers you’re looking for.”
I nodded.
With a sigh, he said, “I’m heading back home. Kiss that beautiful fiancée of yours.”
He reached out his hand for mine. With a quick shake, he turned and grabbed his stuff and was out the door.
Walking over to the window, I looked out over the city. Helena was nothing compared to Austin, yet it was home and I loved it. What would life had been like for Kate had she lived? Would she have stayed here and gotten married?
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the empty spot in my heart. “Damn it, Kate. Why did you leave us?”
I SAT ACROSS the table from Dani and Jennifer and listened to the two sisters go about some local event happening. Dani lived about an hour or so from Helena, so her coming in was not something she did often, but today she was thrilled to bring Lindsay in. Jennifer was currently holding the sleeping baby I couldn’t stop staring at.
The ache in my chest was strong as I started daydreaming about what a baby with Ryder would look like.
Light-brown hair. For sure her hair would be curly. Yes … she would have curly light-brown hair and blue eyes.
“Ava? You seem a million miles away,” Dani said with a concerned look.
Looking up from Lindsay, I forced a smile.
“Yep, totally fine. Sorry, I was just looking at Lindsay. She’s so beautiful.”
Something moved across Dani’s face. Looking at Lindsay, she looked back at me. “Ava. Are you pregnant?”
She asked exactly as I was taking a drink of Diet Coke. I started choking as she jumped up. “Are you okay?”