Broken Series (12 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

Mallory

Boston was gorgeous. I had only been gone a few weeks, but it was just as stunning as I remembered. The flowers around the city were in bloom and the sun shone brightly as I had lugged my duffel up to my apartment. My roommates had were gone for the weekend, but I enjoyed the solitary.

We had an extra-large balcony that had a monumental view of the harbor, and I planted myself in one of the chairs for the entire day. I didn’t unpack, I didn’t eat or drink—I just soakedin the city. Yet as much as I loved Boston, it wasn’t
home
. It wasn’t Casper. I missed the small-town life, the two-lane roads, and Luke. I missed Luke most of all, even though it was over between us.

When Rainey called me the following Tuesday, I agreed to meet her at Faneuil Hall for lunch. I was early, but she was already waiting for me by the Christmas shoppe. It was her favorite store, no matter what town she was in. Casper has a tiny little shop that boasted Christmas year-round, but Rainey was clearly taken with the store.

“Let’s go inside,” I suggested after I hugged her hello.

Her eyes lit up like a little kids and she nodded. We started with the top floor and slowly made our way back to the ground floor. We spent nearly an hour in the store, but I wasn’t back to work yet, so I didn’t have a schedule.

Although my boss had promised I would have a job when I returned, he was still ironing out the details with the higher ups. I guessed they were afraid I would up and leave again. No chance of that happening.

Rainey chose a restaurant styled after a popular 90’s TV show and once we were seated, she started in on me.

“Why would you leave us?”

By
us
, I assumed she meant our little group, including Luke.

“Rain, I know it’s hard, but it’s harder for me to be in the same town as him, to watch him hit on other women,” I explained.

“You have to know Carrie was the one hitting on him, Mal. He would never hit on another woman with you right there.”

She sounded exasperated. I smiled at her antics. The waiter took our order and Rainey didn’t miss a beat.

She defended him. “Luke is a good guy.”

How many times were people going to say that to me? I was sick of hearing about how
good
he was. I knew. I had first-hand knowledge.

“I know,” I replied. “But we just aren’t meant to be, Rainey. He wants me to make all the sacrifices. He wants me to move to Casper when I
love
Boston. This place is my home now.”

“No, it’s not,” she argued. “Casper is home.”

She was so adamant there was hardly any room for an argument. So I didn’t argue. I sipped my water and just stared at her.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she groaned. “I only want you to really think about what you’re giving up in order to not ‘sacrifice’ for a relationship with Luke. Other than Luke himself, you’re abandoning our friendship, again, and your relationships with Gabby, Baker, and Wolfe. They all adore you. You’re kind of like the glue that holds our little group together.”

“Our group is broken, Rainey. Me and Luke, Gabby and Wolfe. Hell, you are the only one who has something good going for you with Baker,” I protested.

“Broken or not, friends stick together. And best friends stick together forever. Can you please stop focusing on the broken promises of your childhood and adolescence? I know your dad made promises he couldn’t keep, so did Luke. It’s time to grow up and accept that when something is broken, you fix it,” she said vehemently. “You don’t throw it away.”

I glared at the table so I wouldn’t look at her and see the truth in her eyes. Not only did she want me to go home to Casper, she wanted me to get back together with Luke and then help fix everyone else’s problems.

“It’s no use.” I sighed. “Luke won’t want anything to do with me now. I chose Boston over him.
Again,
as you put it. History really does repeat itself, doesn’t it?” I looked up at her with tear-filled eyes.

“Only if you let it,” she whispered.

She wanted to give me hope, I knew. Hope that with some hard work, I really could fix what was broken between me and Luke. But I wasn’t so sure. Fear gripped me. What if I made the effort and he refused me? Could I handle that kind of rejection? I wasn’t sure.

We avoided the conversation for the remainder of lunch. She filled me in on what was happening at home while I’d been gone. It wasn’t much. We struggled for conversation topics that wouldn’t lead us back to Luke. Or my dad. I didn’t want to discuss either of them.

“So, I think Baker and I might be getting serious,” she said out of the blue. I raised my brow at her and she smiled sheepishly. “I mean, it was supposed to be just a summer fling, but now that I’m moving home more permanently, he wants to make it official that we’re dating. He’s totally awkward when we talk about it, too.”

“Sounds like he’s making an effort, though, which is great. I am so happy for you,” I declared. I watched her smile fade.

“If only …”

“What’s with you, Rain? You have to tell me,” I begged. I’d been waiting for weeks to hear what it was that had her not drinking alcohol and having mysterious ‘business meetings’ in Boston. I deserved to know.

“I can’t tell you,” she insisted.

“Rainey, if you don’t tell me, I will get Gabby on the phone right now and demand she tell me right now,” I threatened. From her satisfied grin, I knew she was going to call my bluff.

“Gabby won’t tell anyone, Mal. Not even you. Especially not you. She’s held on to this secret for two full years,” she boasted.

“Then why can’t I know?” I whined.

“Mallory, sometimes you have to trust that the people around you know what’s best for you, even if you don’t understand. Joe pushed you to Boston because he wanted you to have a better life. He didn’t tell you about his cancer because he knew you wouldn’t have lived your life fully—which is the way you should live. No one should have to spend years watching a parent die,” she said quietly.

I knew she was thinking about Luke, how he had watched the only real father figure in his life die. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

“It’s not fair, Rainey. What makes Gabby so trustworthy and me not?”

I was a little hysterical over thinking about what was going on with her. I knew she wasn’t pregnant, of course, but it didn’t make sense why she wouldn’t tell me. We were supposed to be best friends. I felt betrayed that she felt close enough to Gabby to tell her, but not to me.

“It’s not about trustworthiness, Mallory. It’s about being able to handle the information. Gabby is a strong woman and she has dealt with an array of bad things in her life,” she said.

I considered this. Gabby’s mom had died of breast cancer when Gabby was young. She’d watched a parent die, too. I gulped. Did that automatically make her better at understanding a difficult situation?

“I’m dealing with Dad’s death, you know. It’s not like I haven’t experienced loss, too,” I muttered.

“Fine. You want to know? I’ll tell you.” She sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them, all I could see in their depths was pain.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Luke

I drove in silence the entire way to Boston. I wouldn’t even turn on the radio. My truck was loaded down with all my stuff—or at least as much as I could fit in it. I couldn’t quite believe I was actually doing it. I left behind my friends, my job, what little family I had—all to be with Mallory. She was the one person I couldn’t be without, though. She was my lifeline.

When Baker and Wolfe had laid it all on the table for me, my choice had been obvious. Nothing was as important to me as Mallory. She was it. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but her. Even if it meant she had control of where we lived, or any other life decisions, I would gladly accept whatever she wanted just so I could be with her. It wasn’t a matter of being masculine or like a girl, as Baker often accused me—I wanted to be with Mallory, in whatever context and wherever she wanted to be. I was her loyal puppy and I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

Now I just had to convince her of that. We’d both made our fair share of mistakes over the years. I’d been an idiot to let her go. She had given up on our love. We were older now. We should be smart enough to figure it all out. We hadn’t been able to, yet, of course, but that was the past. I drove into the city with the knowledge that she would be mine again before the end of the day.

Baker had given me her address and although I was nervous and apprehensive, I parked as close to her building as I could and made my way to her apartment. I raised my fist and knocked, willing my jitters to go away.

A leggy brunette who looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine answered the door. She looked me up and down and then laughed.

“We didn’t order a stripper, cowboy,” she said.

I was in jeans and a T-shirt, but I would hardly compare my attire to that of a cowboy. City women were going to be fun to deal with, I noted with a sigh. When she went to close the door, I stuck my foot in the jamb.

“I’m looking for Mallory,” I said with a smile. She peered at me with judgmental eyes and I felt as if I was on the chopping block.

“She’s not here,” she said. To my surprise, she opened the door. “But she’s due back soon enough. Come on in.” She gestured toward the living room.

“I’m Luke.” I introduced myself, but didn’t offer to shake her hand and she didn’t seem to expect it.

“I’m Leila. The redhead on the couch is Sarah,” she said as she closed the door behind me.

The apartment was huge. The cathedral ceilings surprised me, as did the architectural design of the place. Given the location and condition of the apartment, I figured this place must cost a fortune.

“Great place,” I said to Leila, who was short but dressed to kill in a little black dress and stilettos.

Even with the four-inch heels she barely reached my shoulder. I would have laughed if it wasn’t so surreal.

“It’s okay. I’ve seen better in the city. But it works for now,” she replied.

I couldn’t imagine a better apartment than this. The kitchen alone had to be seven hundred square feet. Gigantic didn’t even begin to describe its massive size. I stepped toward the sliding glass doors that led to a large balcony and I was floored.

No wonder Mallory had fallen in love with this city. It was beautiful. And as much as I truly didn’t want to live here, I realized, in that moment, I would come to love this city as much as she did. I just had to convince her of that.

“So, Luke, are you the farm boy Mallory thinks she’s in love with?” Sarah asked from the couch.

Farm boy
? I hoped that wasn’t how Mallory referred to me.

“I’m not a farm boy, but I am from the small town where she grew up,” I answered.

I wasn’t sure about the
in love
part, either. So I left it at that.

She smiled. “I’m sorry, I just assumed you’d be a good ole boy, you know?” She rose from the couch and came to shake my hand. “Mallory hasn’t said much about her hometown boyfriend since she’s been back, but I can tell you mean a lot to her.”

“It’s no problem,” I assured her, but hoped she was right. “So the three of you have been roommates for a long time, huh?”

“Two years here and a year at the dorms. God,
that
was a mess! Little Mallory was so shy and afraid of her own shadow. You’d think it was the end of the world for her to come to college. While we spent our freshman year sleeping around and getting drunk, Mallory was a model student. She had a perfect GPA and everything. But we took her under our wing and I think she’s better for it,” Leila confided.

I had to agree. Mallory wasn’t the same girl—she had grown up in so many ways. She was still stubborn as hell, but I was glad about that. It reminded me of the girl she was and the woman she’d become.

“She’s been different since she’s come home, though,” Sarah interjected. “It’s like she lost herself when she went back to Maine.”

I knew what she meant. Joe was a huge part of both our lives. We were bound to be affected by his death, and more than just emotionally. I felt like a piece of my own heart had been torn away with no way to repair it. Joe was like a dad to me. And Mallory had always been close to him. He was her hero. So I could only imagine the heartbreak she felt at his death.

“Probably has something to do with her father’s death,” Leila commented. “I don’t know why she had to go, though. It wasn’t as if she saw him all that often, anyway. Her old man—”

“Don’t you talk about Joe that way!” I yelled. “You have no idea who he was or how he sacrificed time and time again in order to raise Mallory the right way. Don’t pretend for even a second that you can comprehend how much he meant to her,” I seethed.

A small gasp caught my attention. I turned toward the door and watched, stunned, as Mallory covered her mouth with her hands. The door was wide open behind her and I couldn’t help but wonder how long she’d been standing there.

“Mallory, I—” She pointed a finger at me in an attempt to tell me to be silent.

I closed my mouth.

“How
dare
you talk about my father?” She glared at Leila who had the decency to look embarrassed. “You know nothing,
nothing,
about him. I swear, if I had any good sense at all, I’d knock you out right here.”

Leila seemed to think she might do it and took a hasty step back, even though they were ten feet apart. I barely contained my chuckle at Leila’s cowardice. She opened her mouth to speak but Mallory interrupted her before she could utter a word.

“
Get out
.”

“Come on, Leila, let’s go.” Sarah tugged on Leila’s arm and the two fled the apartment.

I kept my eyes on Mallory, though. She stood in the entryway, emotions raging and adrenaline rushing. The door clicked closed behind her and she finally turned to me.

Her eyes softened and she looked at me with awe. I was the one amazed, though. Mallory was the strongest woman I’d ever met. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

“Mallory,” I started.

She took three steps to me and put a finger to my lips. Then she kissed me. I reacted almost violently. My whole body shook with anticipation and my hands buried themselves in her satiny hair. I drank her in like a man dying of thirst. She was so damn sweet, I could hardly stand it. She kissed me like it was the only thing she wanted to do in the world.

I bit her bottom lip and she gasped in pleasure and gave me the opening I desperately needed. I thrust my tongue in her mouth to take absolute possession. I wanted to show her how much I loved her with my actions. Words would come later, but for now, we could feel. Her arms snaked around my neck and she pressed herself against me. It was a glorious feeling.

Even though my body was fully ready to take it to the next level, and I could sense she wanted to, too, the memory of Joe’s letter stopped me.

Luke,

This is my final goodbye. Death is a welcome event after these last few years of pain. The chemo was the worst, but I bore it in silence, and I wish now I hadn’t. I wish I had shared my cancer with Mallory, as I know she would have made the suffering less sufferable. If that makes sense. But you know Mallory. She would have insisted on being by my side for the duration. And I couldn’t have that.

I know you never fully understood my reasons for keeping her in the dark, but it was a personal choice that had more to do with her happiness than mine. When you become a father, you realize what your priorities are and your child’s happiness and success is number one on the list. So I sacrificed for her. But I made choice I’m not proud of, too. Like leaning on you when you were so young. And you still are! So young and full of life. You have a long life ahead of you.

And if you end up with Mallory, it’s going to be a long life indeed. That girl is more stubborn and set in her ways than even I am. Which is saying something. I should be proud that she’s like me, though, since I am an all-around great person. Ha-ha.

But there’s more to the story than you or she ever knew, Luke. I had cancer several times when Mallory was a child. I always ended up beating it, so when this last bout showed up when she was seventeen, I thought I would again. That’s why I didn’t tell her right away. I have spent my adult life protecting her from pain and sorrow, and now I am the cause of her greatest pain. I know she’s hurting, and she’s probably already pushed you away, but I want you to keep the faith.

Mallory is nothing if not predictable. She will realize how much she loves you at some point. It may not be this week, or hell, even this decade! But don’t give up on her, son. She loves you. And I know you love her.

It would make me the happiest man alive (figuratively) if, when you decide on forever, you use the enclosed ring. It had been passed down in my family from father to son for generations. I have always considered you my son and I would be honored if you choose to make my daughter your wife.

But no pressure or anything.

Your father,

Joe

I pulled away from Mallory as his words repeated in my head.
Make my daughter your wife. Make my daughter your wife.
The phrase excited and terrified me. I wanted nothing more than to ask her to marry me; the ring was in my pocket. But I couldn’t do that to her. Not yet. She was fragile, more so than before Joe’s death and doing the wrong thing now could send her running for the hills.

I was going to have to take my time. And that meant we weren’t going to let this little make-out session go any further. Not until we had a serious talk about our future. Our immediate one, at least.