Broken Wings (A Romantic Suspense) (15 page)

Ellie sits on the edge of the bed and pulls her hair into a ponytail. As I lie down she scoots up to me and turns around, rubbing her butt against my hip. I turn over and take her in my arms.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to have to do something about it.”

Ellie shudders.

“Jack, if I asked you to, would you do, um, stuff? To me?”

My eyes flick open. “Like what?”

“Like…spank me.”

My head lifts up from the pillow. “What? Like smack you on the ass?”

“Yeah, but…hard. Like it hurts.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I want it.”

“What, like, now?”

“No, when we…you know. You can be a little rougher if you want. I’ll let you know if you’re hurting me.”

“Ellie, um.”

“I don’t want you to
hurt
me. I just want you to…show me who’s boss. In bed, I mean.”

She sounds so embarrassed, it would be adorable if it wasn’t such an odd request.

“I don’t want you to treat me like I’m broken, or I’m fragile.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” She yawns in her cute little way. “I’m so tired.”

“I know, honey. Go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

“Don’t let go.”

“I won’t.”

As exhausted as I am, I stay awake until her breathing softens, and she finally starts to snore. Only then do I close my eyes, and let sleep grab me and drag me down.

I wake up to agonized screaming.

Ellie thrashes in my arms. Her eye is open, unseeing, the other a blank white glass ball. She’s almost on the floor before I drag her back to me, her fist and burned hand pounding and clawing at my chest.

“Ellie!”

It’s like she can’t hear me. I can barely make out what she’s saying, and then it’s only
no no no no
, over and over. Finally she blinks and tries to sit up. I move with her and she crawls into my lap, shaking like a leaf, covered in sweat.

“You’re okay? You’re okay right? Right?”

“I’m fine. What the hell happened?”

Ellie pants for a good minute, struggling to breathe. Christ, I’m going to have to call her an ambulance, she’s…

“Wait,” she grabs my arm, gasping for breath. “I’m okay. I’m okay, I’m okay!”

I take my hand away from the phone and Ellie collapses into me, melting into sobs as she hugs me so hard my ribs creak and buries her face in my chest.

“What happened?”

“I dreamed it got you.”

“Well it didn’t, I’m right here. Tell me about it.”

“I don’t want to. I hate that dream. It keeps coming back.”

“Okay. Lay down with me. Want me to turn the lights on?”

“No. Let’s just go back to sleep.”

She falls into my arms, facing me this time, and holds me tightly. She doesn’t relax until she begins to snore into my chest.

I finally fall asleep after she does.

Ellie

I awake with a sharp start, snapping up from Jack as he lies snoring on the bed. I blink a few times, yawn into my hand, and scoot back so I can sit up and wait for him to wake. I’m still sleepy, and that big ball of dough and cheese I ate for dinner isn’t sitting all that well.

I’m hungry anyway.

When Jack finally wakes up, I’m sitting by the window, holding the drapes open with one hand so I can let them fall shut if someone walks by. There’s a diner across the street. I can see people inside, eating breakfast.

“What’s the matter, hon?”

Jack yawns, scratching his stomach as he stands next to me.

“I want an omelet.”

“Let’s go over there, then.”

I flinch. “I can’t, Jack.”

“Ellie, nobody is going to say anything about your scars.”

“They don’t have to.”

“Hon, come on. If you don’t like it, we’ll leave. I promise.”

“I can’t, Jack. I’m not ready.”

He sighs.

“I just want an omelet.”

“Wait here,” he says as he tugs on a pair of jeans. “I’ll be right back.”

He keeps tugging his pants up as he jogs across the road. I guess my dad was a little thicker around the middle than Jack was. He disappears into the diner.

I wait, my hand propped on my cheek. There’s a thumping knock at the door as Jack elbows into it. I double-check the peephole and swing the door open. He walks in carrying a stack of Styrofoam boxes with two big drink cups precariously perched on top.

“You didn’t say what kind you wanted, so I got you a cheese one. Come on, it’ll get cold.”

He went a little overboard. This is a full spread. Jack must have ordered some sort of super combo for himself. He’s got eggs and sausage and a stack of pancakes with butter and syrup.

“It’s good,” I say after taking a bite. “Cheesy.”

The warm, soft cheese melts in my mouth. The eggs are salty but I welcome that as I wash it down with chocolate milk from the cup.

“You remembered.”

“You keep saying that.”He grins.

“God, after I eat all this I’m going to need a nap.”

“Good, since you can’t drive. I think we can push all the way through or we can stop in New Mexico, your call. I think we should keep going. I don’t want to get stopped.”

“Let’s finish up and get moving. Should we wash our clothes?”

“Not yet. Once we get to my mom’s place, we’ll do the laundry there. She won’t care.”

“Jack, how long has it been since you’ve seen her?”

“Since I was eight. I talk on the phone with her when I can, but Dad doesn’t like it very much. That’s kind of an understatement. He doesn’t flip out as long as I don’t try to go see her.”

“That’s a long time.”

He sighs. “I miss her a lot. You’ll like her, she’s a great person. She’ll like you, I think.”

“What does she do now?”

“She teaches kindergarten. She remarried. I have two half sisters I’ve never met, I just talked to them a few times.”

I push my omelet around with my fork. “I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister or a brother.”

“You kinda do. Our parents got married.”

I snort. “Right. How does that even work? My
stepmother
married your father. That makes you her stepson but what does that make me?”

“You’re her stepdaughter, I’m her stepson, that’s close enough. Sis.”

I scowl at him and jab my fork in the air in his direction. “Do. Not. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again.”

He grins. “You sure? You sounded pretty kinky last night. Where’d you come up with that, anyway? Spank me? Really?”

I try to hide my blush, but it doesn’t work. “I read a lot.”

“You read books about spanking?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Maybe I should read one of them.”

My stomach does a back flip. “Um, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

“Why, worried I’ll take some cues from it myself? I have to admit, I liked it when you were begging me to fuck you.”

I choke a little on my milk and cough. “Jesus, Jack.”

“What? There’s nothing wrong with it. If it makes you happy, Ellie, yes, I will whip your ass.”

He darts over and pinches my butt, and I almost flick a forkful of omelet at him. I laugh for a good minute before I can eat it.

“Ellie, what did you dream about last night? You woke up flipping out.”

“I had a nightmare.”

“You said something about always having it.”

I swallow, hard. My stomach starts to churn.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“We were driving, you and me. Then the steering wheel came off. I kept trying to put it back on but it wouldn’t stick on the…what do you call that?”

“Steering column.”

“Right. It wouldn’t go back on and then the car started turning over and over and over, and it…”

My fork drops out of my hand.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to—”

“It eats you. The car comes alive and
eats you
.”

I grab a napkin to scrub at the tears on my cheek.

“It sounds stupid, I know…”

Jack is staring at me.

“Oh my God. I have the same dream, but it’s the other way around.”

We sit in silence for a moment.

“I’m done,” I say softly.

Jack eats my untouched bacon and sausage and even as we leave the room with our clothes bundled under our arms, he has half a bagel with cream cheese in his mouth. Where does he put it all?

After we’re in the car he says, “It’s a thing you pick up in the Army. When you can eat, you eat. Don’t know when you’ll get your next meal.”

“Okay, if you say so. Just try not to eat the seat leather before we get to Oklahoma.”

“O-O-Oklahoma where the wind goes something something I don’t know the words,” Jack sings as he backs away from the motel.

“Directions?”

“Yeah, we just follow the blue line. It’s mostly interstate.”

As Jack shifts in his seat and yawns, I turn to look at him.

He’s beautiful. I swear he is the most handsome man I have ever seen, but there’s more to it than that. He makes me happy. I forgot what it was like.

“What?” he says, glancing over.

“Nothing. I’m just looking at you.”

A smile spreads on his face. As we pull onto the highway he takes my hand in his. My left hand, but I don’t care. I gasp when I realize something.

I forgot to put on my glove.

I slip my hand out of his, fish it out of my pocket, and carefully tug it into place, flex my fingers a little, and grab his hand.

“You don’t need to wear that when you’re with me.”

“I know, but it
is
more comfortable. I’m just used to it. It’s weird being able to feel pressure but not heat or texture or anything with my fingers.”

“Do you have trouble seeing?”

“I did at first. I fell down a few times, trying to turn so I could see things to my left, and I don’t have any depth perception. I probably shouldn’t try to drive.”

“That’s a shame, this is a sweet car your dad left you.”

“You can drive it for me.”

I sit for a while, watching the scenery. It’s very flat here. The world goes on and on, stretching away so much bigger than I ever imagined. I don’t know why but back home the sky feels smaller, closed in. There’s always something between you and the horizon.

“I think I’ll try playing left handed like you said,” I say absently. “If I can’t grip a pick in my left hand I can try a finger pick.”

“You were pretty good, before. You used to play for me.”

“I know. I remember. I won’t be any good now. I haven’t touched one of my guitars in years.”

“Try it anyway. It’ll be like starting over. Hell, we can sign you up for lessons. I’ll learn to play the triangle.”

I roll my eye and jab my fist into his arm. He rubs it but I know I didn’t hurt him.

“There’s so much stuff out here I thought I’d never see. I’m glad you’re here with me, Jack.”

“Yeah.”

I sigh. “Jack, how long do you think we have?”

“I know my dad. He’s probably called in favors with the CIA. We’ll be lucky to make it to my mom’s house.”

His voice sinks with every word.

“I want to see the Grand Canyon. Can we do that?”

“Yeah, it’s in Arizona. We can go that way. Hoover Dam, too.”

“Really?”

I didn’t know I wanted to see the Hoover Dam.”

“We should just keep going. Have you ever seen the Pacific Ocean?”

“You know I haven’t.”

“Me either.”

“You’ve been to all kinds of places, though.”

“We can go there, too.”

My voice cracks a little. “Jack, what are we going to do?”

“I’ve got skills. I don’t need my father. You’ve got some money. We could set ourselves up. Start a business or something, I don’t know.”

We’re both quiet for a moment.

“I know a guy that wants to start a bed and breakfast. We could do that.”

He glances at me.

“What?”

“I don’t think people want to go to a bed and breakfast where the hostess makes them want to throw up, Jack.”

“Well if they don’t like it, fuck them. You have a right to live your life, Ellie. If other people are so petty and small they can’t handle looking at you, then they can go to hell.”

“I wish I could feel that way, Jack. I tried to psych myself up like that before the wedding, and it was torture. All those people looking at me, I couldn’t stand it.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“I had to. My mom wanted me up there with my cousins. She insisted.”

Jack sighs, and for the first time I feel like he
wants
to say something, but he’s holding back.

Finally he says, “We’re going to meet my family. I mean, my mom and her family. You know what I mean. Are you up to this? I don’t want you to go if you can’t handle it. We’ll just keep going, see the Grand Canyon, all that.”

“No.”

I rub at my arm.

“I think I want to meet them. I should meet your mom. You met my dad, before. I never really asked you about her.”

Jack snorts. “Yeah, good thing you didn’t. She’s persona non grata around my house. Back then Dad was still on wife number three. That’s not an argument I wanted to get into again. Or ever again.”

“Why did he split up with your mom?”

“He got tired of her, probably.”

Jack squeezes the wheel, hard. “I’m not like him. I will never be like him.”

I touch his arm. His muscles are like tight wires, hard as rock. “Jack, I know. You’re not like him at all.”

He relaxes a little. “Thanks, Ellie.”

“Let’s get there. I want to meet them.”

Jack

I’m starting to get a little nervous here. We’ve been driving all night, and Ellie is asleep on my shoulder again. It’s about nine in the morning and according to her phone, we’re ten minutes out from my mother’s place. I should call her, but I can’t stop now.

This is a beautiful place. The whole world is painted in reds and oranges, glowing in the sun. I rouse Ellie with a nudge of my arm and when she sits up, she goes quiet, staring out the windows.

“Pretty,” she says, in a sleep-heavy voice. “How far are we?”

“Couple minutes.”

I make the turn off the main road into her neighborhood. The houses are spread out on big lots and they’re all one floor, but my father is wrong to call them trailers. We end up driving down a long road that ends in a cul-de-sac.

“It’s so spread out here,” Ellie says. “The houses aren’t all right up next to each other. Isn’t that weird?”