Broken Wings (The Broken Series Book 3) (23 page)

He
smiled as he began digging through the bag. He pulled out a thermos and two
travel mugs. “Would you like some coffee?”

I
stared at the thermos, then looked at Rafael. “See! That’s exactly what I’m
talking about. Amazing. The fact that you thought to pack coffee at midnight is
amazing!”

Rafael
laughed as he kicked his shoes off and joined me on the blanket. He handed me a
travel mug. I twisted the lid off and watched as he poured the dark, rich fluid
from the thermos into my mug. He filled his own mug, then set the thermos aside.
“Come here,” he murmured softly. “I want you tucked right here in my arms when
the sun comes up.”

I
climbed between his legs and reclined against his chest. “The water is beginning
to glow over there.” I pointed with the hand that was still holding the coffee
mug. My other hand was holding Rafael’s arm as it rested across my stomach. “Where
are we, anyway?”

Rafael
took a sip of coffee. “We are at Lewes Beach, just up from Rehoboth, Delaware.”

We
grew quiet as we drank our coffee and waited for the sun to appear. The waves were
lulling me back to sleep, so I breathed in coffee fumes in the hopes that it
would help keep me awake.

“There
it is,” he whispered in my ear.

I
nuzzled my cheek against his as the sun peeked over the ocean. “It’s beautiful,”
I breathed. The clouds on the horizon glowed purple and orange while a bright
sliver of sun reflected against the waves.

Rafael
kissed my cheek. “I much prefer to watch the sun rise than set. Sunsets make me
feel sad, like something just slipped from my fingers. Sunrises seem to beckon
new beginnings.”

I
pondered Rafael’s words as I watched the sun ease a little higher. His words felt
right. There was hope in a sunrise, the kind of hope that comes with new
beginnings. I tightened my hold on his arm as he pulled me snug against his
chest. My voice was barely a whisper. “Are you my new beginning?”  

Rafael
tugged the coffee mug from my hand and set it in the sand. He slowly turned me
in his arms. He grasped my face as he gazed into my eyes. “I am yours as you
are mine.”

I
could feel the sun’s rays dance along my skin as Rafael’s lips met mine. His
tongue swept through my mouth in a kiss that promised…
everything.
Something
stirred deep inside of me as I relaxed into his arms. Rafael eased me to the ground
and fit his body to mine without breaking the kiss. He stretched my arms far
above my head, then linked our fingers together.

I
luxuriated in the current running along the seam where our bodies met. His kiss
grew more sensual, and my body hummed its approval. His heart beat against my
chest as it called to mine. Something shifted between us. My breath caught when
I realized what it was. As the sun crept over the horizon, Rafael laid claim to
my heart.

I
glanced up at Kadyn, who had flipped me now for the fourth time. “Okay. I’m
done.”

Kadyn
chuckled as he leaned over and reached for my hand. “You don’t want to try
flipping me?”

I
eyed him skeptically. “Do you seriously think I can? You weigh like a hundred
pounds more than me.”

Kadyn
smiled. “You can overcome the size difference with the right technique. Stand
here. I’ll show you.”

I
stood nervously with my back to Kadyn. I glanced over my shoulder as his voice
rolled over me. “Okay. The key here is to catch the guy before he gets a grip
on you. As soon as you feel him coming for you, turn and step to the side, like
this.” Kadyn shifted me slightly. “He’ll be reaching for you. So grab the wrist
closest to you and pull down hard, while pushing up on his elbow with your
right hand. This will force his head down. His body will follow. If it doesn’t,
you’ll end up breaking his arm. As soon as you throw him off balance, you run
just like Rafael taught you.”

My
confidence grew as Kadyn and I practiced the move a few more times. “Okay, so
what if someone is coming at me from the front?”

Kadyn
smiled. “Actually, that’s much easier. Grab his shirt with both hands. Throw
your body back on the ground and kick both feet into his abdomen. He’ll fly
right over your head. You really need to use your momentum and his so he clears
your body. Otherwise he’ll land right on top of you. The downside is that you
are now lying on the ground. You have to get back on your feet and run as quick
as you can.”

I
nodded. “Okay.”

Kadyn’s
eyebrows rose. “Do you want to give it a try?”

“I
won’t hurt you?” I asked nervously.

He
laughed. “No. Unlike your attacker, I know what you’re planning, and I know how
to roll out of it.”

I
crouched in front of him and smiled. “Okay, tough guy, bring it on.”

I
grabbed Kadyn’s shirt as he came at me. Then I threw myself backwards on the
mat. He landed right on top of me, but he braced his weight with his arms so he
wouldn’t crush me. “You didn’t get your feet to my stomach fast enough. Next
time, bend your knees as you fall, then kick up hard.”

Kadyn
and I ran through the move a few more times. Then I sprawled out, completely
exhausted, on the floor. “Okay. Now, I really am done. I hurt too much to do
anything more.”

Kadyn
stood and pulled me to my feet. “You didn’t do half bad, Kri. Let’s go get
showered and change for work.” He patted me on the bottom as I walked toward the
women’s locker room.

I
showered and dressed quickly in the hopes that I could snag a little extra time
to talk to Kadyn. I met up with him outside the gym. He was sitting on the curb,
texting on his phone. I tossed my gym bag on the sidewalk and joined him on the
curb. “Hey. Do you have a few minutes to talk before work?”

Kadyn
looked up from his phone. “Sure. What’s up?”

I
swallowed nervously. I had been dreading this conversation all morning. As many
times as I’d run it through my head, I still couldn’t get it to end well. I
took a deep breath, then let it all out. “I don’t think I’m cut out to date two
men at once.”

Kadyn
turned to face me. “Okay…”

I
sighed miserably as I stared down at my shoes. “I love you, Kadyn, and I don’t
want to lose you, but I feel like our timing is off. I agreed to date Rafael
before you told me how you felt. I know that I agreed to start dating you too,
but every time you kiss me, I feel like I’m cheating on him. It feels wrong.”

Kadyn’s
voice was firm. “But you and I were dating long before you met Rafael.”

I
shook my head. “Up until last week, you and I hadn’t dated for over ten
months.” I held up my hand as he attempted to speak. “I know. We stopped dating
because Michael kidnapped me, but when I came back, you told me we could only
be friends. I have spent months convincing myself that there can’t be anything more
between us. Now you’re asking me to believe there can be more, and I’m having a
really hard time working through that.”

Kadyn
silently studied me.

I
continued. “I know I let you down when I agreed to marry Michael, and you had
every right to be hurt and upset with me. But you rejected me too, Kadyn. Right
or wrong, you rejected me. We both abandoned this relationship and settled for
just being friends.”

Kadyn
sighed. “I was hurt, and I was trying to do the right thing. You needed time to
get over Michael.”

I
reached for his hand. “I know, but I’m not sure either of us is ready to take
this relationship further. I think Rafael forced your hand. You jumped back
into dating because you don’t want to lose me… and I agreed to start dating you
because I don’t want to lose you. Kadyn, I’m not saying we can’t work this out
eventually. I’m just saying that now is not the right time for either one of us.”

Kadyn
removed his hand from mine and ran it over his face. He looked defeated. “What
do you want, Kri?”

I
turned to face him. “For us? I want things to go back to the way they were two
weeks ago. I want to continue spending time with you, but I don’t want to take
things any further. Not right now, anyway. I want time to date Rafael exclusively.
I told him I would give that relationship a chance, and I can’t really do that
if I’m dating you too. You and I have had that opportunity to date exclusively.
I know how good things can be between us, but I need to give this relationship
with Rafael a fair shake before I decide which relationship is best for me.”

Kadyn’s
jaw clenched. “So you just want me to sit back and wait for you? How long do
you expect me to sit on the sidelines, Kri? How long do you expect me to sit
idly by while you’re dating, kissing, and sleeping with another man?”

My
heart hurt. I knew what I was about to lose. “I can’t ask you to wait, Kadyn.
That wouldn’t be fair.”

Kadyn
stood. Tension rolled off him in waves. “So you’re telling me you’ve already
decided… that you’re choosing him.”

I
rose to my feet. My legs shook as a wave of nausea threatened to send me to my
knees. “No. What I’m saying is that I need some time to date Rafael exclusively
before I choose the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t
expect you to sit on the sidelines and wait for me to figure it all out. I
understand if you want to date other people, Kadyn.”

Kadyn
shook his head. He picked up his gym bag and backed toward his car. “If you’re
encouraging me to date other people, then you
have
decided. Just answer
me this Kri… Where’s the girl I fell in love with? Where did
that
girl
go?”

I
shook my head as tears slid silently down my cheeks. I knew that girl didn’t
exist anymore. She had died a slow and painful death in Paris. I had pieced her
back together as best I could, but I knew I would never again be that girl.

*
* * * * *

I
pushed through work and school as best I could. I drove straight home after
school, dropped my books in the library, and walked over to Rafael’s place. He
didn’t know I was coming over, and he didn’t know about my decision to stop
dating Kadyn. I had questioned that decision right up until the moment when I’d
told Kadyn we needed to talk, and I hadn’t been certain I could see that
conversation through.

I
stood staring at Rafael’s front door. I didn’t even know if he was home from
work yet.
Should I use the key or ring the doorbell?
I slowly reached
for the doorbell. I listened for footsteps, but I didn’t hear any. I waited a
few more minutes, then turned to walk away.

The
door swung open, startling me. Rafael had a half-eaten piece of pizza in his
hand. He was wearing dark gray sweats that hung low on his hips, and he hadn’t
bothered to put a shirt on. He eyed me curiously. “Aren’t you supposed to be
out with Kadyn?”

I
shook my head as my eyes trailed over the hard lines that formed his chest and
abs. My blood heated. “No. I’m not dating Kadyn anymore.”

His
eyebrows shot up in surprise. He stepped back and motioned me inside. “You’re not?”

I
felt suddenly vulnerable as I leaned against the closed door. “No. I told him I
want to date you…
exclusively
.”

Rafael
stilled. “I don’t have to share you anymore? You’re dating only me?”

“Yes,”
I whispered. I waited breathlessly for his reaction.

Rafael
balled up the pizza and tossed it toward a trash bin in his office.

I
laughed when he missed. My heart stalled when he turned to face me.

His
eyes took on a predatory look as he closed the distance between us. “This
changes everything,” he growled huskily. He pulled me against his chest. Hard.
“No more holding back, Kristine. I want
everything
… every single part of
you.”

My
pulse quickened. Fear spiked my blood, but it was tempered by a deep, primal
need. I tangled my hands in his hair and tugged his head down until my lips
were nestled against his ear. “I want you to own every part of me.”

Rafael
groaned as his body hardened against mine. He hiked my thighs over his hips as
he lifted me. Then he turned toward the stairs. “
I need you. Now.
”

We
never made it to the top of the stairs.

*
* * * * *

My
eyes slowly fluttered open. A soft smile teased at my lips when I realized
where I was… although, I couldn’t quite recall how or when we had ended up in
Rafael’s bed. Rafael’s arm was tucked behind my back. He held me firmly against
his chest. His leg was hooked around mine, and our faces were so close it appeared
we might have fallen asleep in the middle of a kiss. The man was determined to
have me, even in sleep.

I
studied his face… the golden skin, the hint of whiskers that darkened his
masculine jaw, the high cheekbones that balanced his strong nose, and the thick
fringe of lashes that shadowed his cheeks. The early morning light softened his
rugged features. Sleep made him look surprisingly vulnerable. I ran the back of
my fingers across his cheek before gently tucking a strand of hair behind his
ear.

He
opened one eye and smiled. “Good morning, love.”