“Why don’t you come?” asked Linda. “My friend up at Barnard is going to be at her boyfriend’s — she has a room she won’t be using.”
Leah shook her head. “My mother would never go for it.”
Linda smiled. “My room is already packed with guests, but there will be other girls in your room; it’s not like you’ll be on your own in the city. C’mon, what do you have to lose?”
Leah had to get a lot of studying done over the holiday if she wanted to improve her grades, but Linda had piqued her curiosity. Besides, if her mother didn’t want her going, maybe she
should
try it. Anyway, it wasn’t like she had to guard her reputation — it had been shot since high school. And Jacob wasn’t going to be calling her. “All right,” she finally said.
• • •
“Hindy, what’s come over you?” Denise asked her coworker. Denise shared an office with Hindy on the twenty-ninth floor of the building. Green’s Imports and Exports, Inc. took up four floors of office space in the huge skyscraper.
It was Monday morning, and Denise was used to Hindy trudging into the office with her shoulders stooped, as if she were bearing the weight of the entire world upon her little frame. Even when she smiled, Hindy always seemed so sad, so hopeless. But this Monday morning, she’d waltzed into work with an air of confidence and an aura of joy. And she had maintained that aura all morning.
“What’s come over me?” Hindy giggled. “I’ve got a date, Denise. A real date with a really nice guy.”
Denise pushed her long, thin braids away from her face. She had trained Hindy three years back, and at first she had worried that maybe Harry was grooming Hindy for her job, that he would prefer someone Jewish.
“Denise,” Harry had said before Hindy joined their group, “you’re the best and I’m never letting you go. It’s just that you know how much work we’ve got. Hindy will be an asset. You won’t have to do the work of two people anymore.” Denise wasn’t sure then that he meant it, but he proved it by being the best boss she’d ever had. Any emergency that came up or scheduling that went awry — which happened often with Denise’s childcare arrangements — Harry was accommodating. He also kept her laughing by constantly telling jokes in his thick European accent.
Once Denise realized her job was secure, she was able to warm up to Hindy. Not that it was hard — Hindy was a sweetheart. But man, did she have an attitude. She was always so desolate, as if she had an insatiable hunger. Today was the first time Denise had ever seen Hindy happy.
“Hindy, are you singing?” Denise looked up from accounts payable.
“Am I singing? Oh. Is it bothering you? I’ll stop.” Hindy smiled shyly.
“Hindy! Come back from never-never land, girl! Is this what happens when you get a date?”
Denise knew Hindy had a hard time with the Jewish dating scene, but she was surprised at the transformation one date could make in a girl! In Denise’s eyes, the whole Jewish dating scene seemed pretty bizarre, so Hindy’s overnight personality change was just another aspect of that foreign world.
Denise didn’t date much herself. She’d met her little girl’s dad in high school, but he’d skipped out when Denise got pregnant. Not that she didn’t have her occasional fling now and then, but she would never bring a guy home and confuse Tracy unless it was serious. And so far she hadn’t met anybody she wanted to get serious about. She wasn’t looking for someone only to laugh and have a good time with. She’d had a great time with Tracy’s dad, and it sure wasn’t fun when he left her.
Hindy spun in her swivel chair, bubbling over with excitement. “Actually, Denise, I didn’t go on the date yet. I spoke to him last night, though. The date is for next week!”
Denise felt happy for her; after being so glum for so many years, the kid deserved a break. But Denise was no stranger to broken hearts; she wondered what would happen to her friend if, for whatever reason, the date didn’t work out. Would she fall into a depression if the guy turned out to be a jerk? It didn’t seem healthy for someone’s entire self-esteem to be dependent on a date, on another person — on a man. But Denise knew she didn’t understand all the subtleties of Jewish dating, so she wouldn’t mention her fears now to Hindy. She just hoped that whatever happened, Hindy would be okay.
Hindy went to get a coffee and brought one for Denise. They sat together working quietly and diligently in their small office, their battered wooden desks facing each other. The room had a low-wattage light bulb that afforded only a hazy glow, giving off the impression that they were working in a closet as opposed to an office. Pads of yellow accounting paper were stacked under a monstrous green plant that grew on the dusty windowsill, though both women usually forgot to water it. Although Harry Green was a kind soul who was good to his workers and had earned a lot of money of late, he didn’t put a penny into the company’s four floors of offices; his own office on the thirty-second floor looked as grimy and run-down as theirs.
“Denise, did you see these numbers?” Hindy chewed on her pencil. “There seems to be a few thousand dollars more coming in than what was billed for last quarter.”
Denise laughed. “Girl, the state you’re in, I can’t imagine you getting any numbers right! Let me see it.”
Denise reviewed Hindy’s work. She was right. The numbers didn’t add up. “Go upstairs to Accounting and see what they have to say,” Denise advised Hindy, wondering why there seemed to be an influx of money, much more than usual for that time of year. Business was always brisk; but still, why wouldn’t the numbers add up in accounts receivable? She sipped her coffee and watched Hindy go upstairs to check with Accounting. Hindy must be making some mistakes somewhere, she decided. That was the only reasonable answer.
• • •
Aryeh Kaufman opened the door to his office to see Hindy Goldfarb smiling gaily, holding a stack of papers in her hands.
“Aryeh, the office manager sent me to show you some numbers that don’t add up.”
Aryeh Kaufman knew that his cousin Leah’s friend Hindy worked in the same company as he did, but he hadn’t really given her a second thought. There was something about her now, though, that caught his eye. An exuberance about Hindy, a sweetness and vulnerability.
“Sure, Hindy, let me see what you’ve got,” he said, and Hindy smiled. Aryeh glanced at the figures Hindy had tallied up. Something seemed off. “Hmm. I want to look these over carefully to figure out where the errors are coming from,” he said.
“Okay,” Hindy replied. “I was just on my way to lunch anyway. I’ve been craving Mom’s Bagels all day. And when I have a craving for Mom’s, there is nothing in the world that can take the place of their bagels.”
Aryeh noticed her pudgy figure and smiled. She was so forthright and uncomplicated. So honest. “I’m actually craving a bagel myself,” he said. “Would you mind if I joined you, and you could tell me more about the bookkeeping discrepancies?” Aryeh was usually very shy and reserved, but Hindy’s exuberance was catching. Her demeanor made him feel bolder. Capable. Confident.
Hindy paused. Aryeh could almost see her mind at work. Would it look bad if she was seen eating lunch with a male coworker? Would somebody misunderstand and think they were romantically involved? No, it was just business; Aryeh needed information on a bookkeeping problem. Besides, he worked for a living instead of studying Talmud — he definitely was not her type.
“Sure, Aryeh,” Hindy answered happily. “You like poppy or garlic? I love it when they shmear on the cream cheese. Such glop, but it tastes so good!”
Aryeh took the papers and a calculator with him, enjoying her chatter. Hindy appeared to be so much prettier than he had ever seen her. She positively glowed. He wondered why he had never noticed before. She was so simple and fun. So unlike his mother.
Rachel glanced at her watch. She was supposed to meet Leah at the kosher pizzeria almost an hour ago.
“You’re late,” Leah admonished Rachel without looking up.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel apologized, knowing that it did no good.
Leah had a cup of black coffee in her hand. “So what’s going on with Daniel Gold?” she asked.
“Daniel wants to take it to the next level, but I still don’t feel sure,” Rachel said after she ordered her pizza.
“I’m failing computers,” Leah confessed to Rachel as she took a sip of her coffee, which was now cold.
“Like fail or a B?”
“B. But for all intents and purposes, that’s failing.”
“So fail, for once in your life.”
“I can’t. My mother will force me to drop out. She never wanted me to go to college, anyway. She’ll stop paying the tuition.”
“It’s perfect,” Rachel said. “Then you won’t have to study computers!”
Leah sighed. “I’m not kidding. If I get a B, I’ll get dropped from the Honors Program. It will get that much harder to get into medical school, even if my grades in my pre-med classes are strong.”
Rachel bit into her pizza with gusto. “So you’ll do something else. How can you live with so much pressure?” She offered some to Leah, but she shook her head.
“I have to make it as a doctor, Rachel. I broke off with Chaim Nudle. I said no to Zushe. And Jacob Zohar has no idea who I am. If I don’t get ahead, I’ll have nothing.”
Rachel averted Leah’s eyes at the mention of Jacob’s name. “Maybe Suri can give you a loan and talk to your mother?”
Leah shrugged. Rachel took the hint and tried to steer the conversation back to tuition, and not her family.
“I’d pay for your school,” she offered.
Leah smiled sadly. “You don’t have two pennies to rub together, Rachel.”
Rachel nodded. “Maybe my parents could help you?”
“Right.” Leah snorted. “It would kill my mother if I shamed her like that — made it appear like she wasn’t taking care of me — or didn’t have money. You know how she is.”
“That’s a tough one,” Rachel agreed. And then she saw
him.
He saw her, too.
She looked away, blushing. She didn’t want Leah to know that she knew him. That even though she was dating Daniel, it was Jacob she still thought about. Constantly.
He came over. “Rachel?”
She looked at him. Her heart skipped a beat from just being near him. She wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. Soft? Gentle? Furious? How did rabbis kiss?
“Hi, how are you?” Rachel said quietly.
Leah glanced at Jacob, and then turned to Rachel, her eyes narrowed. “How do you know each other?” she asked.
Rachel didn’t know what to say.
Jacob ignored Leah.
“So it was good to see you the other day in my house.”
Rachel nodded.
“Why were you in Jacob’s house?” Leah asked.
“Jacob is Ilana Zohar’s cousin,” Rachel explained. “Ilana posed for my painting.” Leah watched the two of them watch each other. “Oh,” she said, suddenly aware of what was going on. “You have all the answers, don’t you, Rachel?” She grabbed her things and left as quickly as she could.
“Leah! Wait!” Rachel ran after her best friend, leaving Jacob in the pizzeria.
“How could you do this to me?” Leah cried.
Rachel waved her hands. “It’s not what you think. I didn’t do anything!”
But Leah had had enough. She was going to burst.
“Don’t go out with Nudle. Not Zusha. Follow your heart. Oh! And that jerk Wolfy back in high school ‘
Just be friends, Leah.
’ I can’t get anyone to marry me or even just like me because of your stupid, arrogant, selfish advice! Call Jacob. Make an idiot out of yourself. Fall on him. Fail computers. You have it all figured out, don’t you?” Leah wiped her tears from her face, and then wiped her nose on her sleeve.
Rachel cried, “I didn’t
do
anything, Leah.”
“I saw the way he looked at you, Rachel. You can’t deny it.”
Rachel turned her head away in shame.
Leah shook her head. “He loves you, Rachel. That’s why he can’t love me.”
Leah turned to go.
“Please, Leah, I’m sorry. You’re right, I
have
been an idiot — but — it’s not the way you think.”
“Oh, I know perfectly well what to think. You’re just playing with him. The rabbi in jeans. You’re going to do what we all would do if we had the chance: marry the rich boy our mothers will approve of. Yet you play with Jacob’s emotions, and I am left with nothing. Nothing but your leftovers.” She tore off the earrings she wore — the pair Rachel had given her a short while ago.
“I don’t want your leftovers, Rachel.” She hurled the earrings to the sidewalk and started walking away.
Rachel was crying. “Don’t leave me, Leah. Please. I wasn’t toying with Jacob. I barely know him.”
Leah turned her head, her eyes swollen with tears. “The last time you hurt me, in high school, I thought you didn’t mean to. But now I know the truth. Rachel Shine, you don’t care about anyone but yourself. I never want to speak to you again.”
Jacob came out to find Rachel standing on the sidewalk, huddled over and weeping.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing. I mean, everything. I mean, nothing I can talk about.”
“Did I get you in trouble somehow?”
Rachel nodded. “But it wasn’t your fault. Don’t worry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Rachel shrugged. “I have to get home.”
“Let me walk you,” he said.
Rachel sniffled. “Thanks, but no. I have to go.” The tears wouldn’t stop.
On her way home, Rachel passed by another pizzeria where she noticed a familiar face. Michael Kaufman was sitting with some business associates. She was embarrassed to look, but she couldn’t help but to notice: He was eating a thick slice of cheesy, saucy pizza. With little unkosher pepperonis dotted all over it.
Leah danced with abandon around the room, surrounded by a mass of women, until she couldn’t dance any longer. The other women continued moving, singing, chanting, and laughing in a continuous circle as their sounds and sweat and pure joy permeated the room.
The sun was rising on the holiday of Simchat Torah as Leah and Ilana walked to Leah’s friend’s dorm room at Barnard. They’d been up all night celebrating the holiday, and Leah felt happy that she was at this party, though she’d initially had her doubts. It really wasn’t done in her circles, to interact so freely with different people — but she
had
to get out of Brooklyn or else she thought she’d go insane. After her big fight with Rachel and the list of guys she could date getting more wretched with each passing day, Leah had told her mother she needed a break from dating and that she wanted to concentrate more on school. Her mother was horrified and insisted she’d lose out on precious dating time, so without another word, Leah had packed her bags and left.