BrookLyn's Journey (37 page)

Gabby and
BrookLyn
cleaned up
their
dinner dishes.
BrookLyn
wasn’t hungry anymore.
She
wanted to go upstairs to rest.
She
needed a break from all of the craziness that had become
her
life.

As they
walked upstairs
,
Gabby’s phone rang.
“I’m going to grab that. You can go in the bonus room and turn on the TV if you want.”

BrookLyn
went and sat on the couch as the tears rolled down
her
face.
She
grabbed the remote and turned on the TV
, not so much
to really watch anything but
more
to drown out
her
thoughts.

Gabby
came back shortly and BrookLyn could tell
that the phone conversation didn’t go well.

“Tiffany saw your parents tonight at church.”

“And what happened?”

“They told her to get word to you that they knew where you were. They knew that you and I were living together. They said
we disgust them
. Your father said you better not ever come back to his house without getting some psychiatric help. He told her that you were crazy.”

I
’m not
crazy. Confused
,
but far from crazy
.
“He created a prison for his family
and I’m
crazy?”

“From what Tiffany said, Shante sent cards to your house from me to you. She talked about how much we loved each other. Your mother pulled Tiffany aside and said she had your journal. She wanted
you to know that
she
took it.
”

BrookLyn’s
worlds collided
and her
pained body balled up into a fetal position waiting for life to come to an end.
If she
woke up the next morning in the bed next to Gabby,
she would be
angry that it hadn’t.
She
wasn’t ready to face th
e
day
s to come
.

Chapter
Fifteen

BrookLyn
woke up
not
wanting to
wake up
.
She
had to face the day no matter how bad it might be. As soon as
her
feet hit the floor
,
tears rolled down
her
face.
Her
heart hurt so bad from all of the things Shante had done.

What do
I want
?
Why am in love with Gabby when I never looked at a girl in this way before
?
BrookLyn
was in
Gabby’s
house because
she
needed a place to live
,
but also because
she
had feelings for her.
Why didn’t Shante let me walk along this journey before she shared it with the people in my world
? She was forcing
BrookLyn
to pick up speed and deal with
her
feelings
—
today.

Maybe a shower will make me feel better.
N
o, n
othing w
ill
make me feel better unless I c
an
erase what Shante did.

BrookLyn got in the shower anyway and the
warm water mix
ed
with
her
tears.
She had to get ready for her first day at her new school.
At least these kids wouldn’t know about
BrookLyn’s miserable life.
Being new would actually be to
her
benefit.
She pushed away thoughts of what would happen if she had to go back to her
old school
—
hell would begin as soon as
she
walked through the door.

Gabby knock
ed
on the door
and BrookLyn
stuck
her
head out of the shower as she walked in.
As she
stood in
the doorway with
her white bathrobe
and a
half smile on her face
, her
mood looked the same as
BrookLyn’s
felt
.
“I was just checking on you. You’ve been in here for a long time.”

“I’m moving a little slow this morning,”
BrookLyn
said
,
not really wanting to get out of the shower.

“Me too. My heart isn’t even into this.”

“Mine either but since I haven’t been to school in weeks, I have to go.”

“How do you feel?”

“Sad. I’m upset that Shante hit the fast forward button on my life. My mother tapped it a few weeks ago
,
but Shante, she pushed the button all the way in for sure
.
”
BrookLyn
clos
ed
the curtain so
she
could
finish
rins
ing
off
.

“I’m angry with myself. I’m even angrier with Shante. I’m really sorry she did this to you
, BrookLyn
.”

“I know. It’s not your fault
.
A
nd she did this to us. I got the brunt of it
,
but she did it to us.”

“The crazy thing is that she probably thinks she’ll get me back.”

“I’m sure she does.”
Maybe I should concede. I never asked for this
.

“She probably also thinks you’re going to run. I’m sure she thinks we’re going to break up.”

BrookLyn
turned off the water and grabbed
her
towel
.
She
dried off
behind the shower curtain, listening
to Gabby talk.
She
didn’t know
what to do. She couldn’t deny
the thought of leaving
had
cross
ed
her
mind a few times
, but she
had nowhere to go
.

“Are you planning on leaving me?”
Gabby
asked.

“No
.
”
BrookLyn
wrapp
ed
the
towel around
herself, getting ready to step out.

“That doesn’t sound convincing. Besides I heard what you said earlier
.
” Gabby
’s
tone changed. She was hurt.

How could BrookLyn
sound convincing
when she
hadn’t even convinced
her
self.
She told me I could take my time figuring it out
,
but
how can
I at this pace
?
If she understood she’d back off a bit too.

“What did I say? You asked if I was leaving and I only heard myself say no.”

“You know what I heard you say.”

“I said no, Gabby, that’s what I remember saying. I’m not leaving. I need to come out so if you’re not going to repeat what I said, then leave so I can come out
.
”

“No problem
,
BrookLyn
.
”
Gabby
walk
ed
out without another word.

That went well
.
BrookLyn
wanted to scream.
She
wanted to do a lot of things
,
but she
decided to just get dressed for school.

She
wasn’t mad at
Gabby,
but
she
definitely wasn’t happy.
T
here
’s
no such thing as a fairytale
,
but
BrookLyn
wanted today to be like
her
first weekend with Gabby. That was a fairytale weekend.
What she
needed
was
to go back to that and start this whole thing over.

She dressed and threw her
hair back into a ponytail
.
That was all she had
time to do
.
Looking at her reflection, she steadied herself
with
a deep breath.
You’ll
get through this.
B
elieve in
your
self.
You
are
a nice person
, BrookLyn, and you’ve
never hurt another soul. This moment in life ha
s
to get better
.

She walked into
the bedroom
to see
Gabby sitting on the side of the bed. The brightness that usually sh
one
when she was in the room wasn’t there today.
Gabby
was angry with Shante
,
but
BrookLyn
kn
ew
that
she had
hurt her too.
She didn’t seem to
know how
not
to
,
right now
—she
was hurting
too
. I
t
wasn’t
Gabby’s fault
. It was
the recent changes in
her
life
,
but if it
weren’t
for her
,
BrookLyn
wouldn’t be
w
here
she was
right now
.
And
she
wouldn’t be safe either.

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

***

They
rode in silence
all the way to school.
Gabby
showed
BrookLyn
where the office was again and
turned to leave, but
BrookLyn
grabbed her arm.
“Gabby, I really am sorry,”
she
whispered.

“I
heard
you think
that maybe
you should,
but you can’t just concede. Don’t give up on us, please
.
”
Gabby
look
ed
down at her feet.

“My two worlds have collided and you’re caught up in it.”

“I don’t mind being in it with you.”

“Thanks
.
”
BrookLyn was trying not
to cry.

“Don’t cry, Sweets
.
”
Gabby
reached out to touch
her
,
but
she
stepped back
and Gabby’s
face changed from concern to hurt again.

They
were in public.
BrookLyn
couldn’t let her touch
her
that way. What would everyone think?

“Imagine me not crying,”
BrookLyn
joked.

“Let’s meet out by the car at lunch, okay?”
Her eyes were shaded in
sadness
.

BrookLyn nodded and forced a smile.
Maybe Gabby c
an
read
my
thoughts, but
I suppose I can
read
her
moods
in
the shadows o
f
her eyes
.

“See you then. Have a good first day.”

“See you later
.”

BrookLyn
went into the office to make sure that
her
paperwork was sent over from Pine Bush High School.
I
t was
and she
ventured off to find
her
first class.
I hope this school w
ill
be
an improvement.
She just
wanted to be treated better.
Sure
,
Gabby would come to
her
rescue
,
but
BrookLyn
was hoping that she
wouldn’t
have to
.