Bucked (14 page)

Mustang couldn’t even begin to fathom what a bad idea Jenna calling Sage was. He’d never had to introduce a former lover to his current girlfriend before. There may be some etiquette for that situation, but he sure as hell didn’t know it.

Of course, he couldn’t explain any of that to Jenna as she managed to tickle him in an attempt to get his phone. Laughing and getting annoyed at the same time, he ended up with her in his lap still looking for his phone.

“Ow, ow, ow. My arm.”

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” She jumped up and Mustang grinned.

“I’m fine. Just faking. Now sit down and act like a grownup.”

“Um, Mustang. Maybe you should have answered that call.” Slade stared past him, looking at the front door of the diner.

Mustang frowned. “Why?”

“What’s Sage look like?” Slade asked.

What was this about now?

“Cute. Dark hair. Brown eyes. About half a head shorter than me. About a C-cup, I’d guess.” He held up his hand as if palming two breasts.

Jenna rolled her eyes at that last description.

“She drive one of those tiny little cars that the tree-huggers like? A white one.” Slade asked.

This wasn’t sounding good. “Yeah, why?”

Slade shook his head. “I think she was here. She saw you with Jenna in your lap, ran out the door and just peeled down Main Street.”

“Shit.” Mustang jumped up from his seat, wrestling his phone out of his pocket as he ran for the door. He hit redial but her voicemail came on so he left a message.

“Sage. Listen, I know it looks bad, but Jenna’s just a friend. Call me back. We have to talk.”

He walked back to the table, head hanging.

“I’m so sorry. If I’d known…” Jenna appeared miserable.

“I know. Not your fault.” He sighed. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

Slade frowned. “How?”

“She’s in college and working here in town. What future do we have together?” Mustang looked at Jenna. “You can work from the road, but I can’t drag Sage away from her life here to follow me around the country.”

“That decision is for her to make, isn’t it?” Jenna pointed out.

Mustang let out a bitter laugh. “She’s barely twenty, Jenna. Did you make intelligent decisions when you were that age?”

Jenna considered that for a moment. “Looking back, no. But at the time I thought so. You two need to talk, not just about today, but about your future.”

“We’ll talk.” The question was would Sage listen?

Sage picked up the phone as it rang but didn’t answer. She watched Mustang’s name come up on the screen and then, after what seemed like an eternity of ringing, heard the chime for a new voicemail sound.

He’d left her a message? He, who had another woman in his lap while they both laughed, had bothered to leave a message?

A glutton for punishment, she slowed the car to a safe speed and hit the button to listen.

“Jenna’s just a friend,” Mustang’s voicemail had said.

Jenna. The same name that had come up on his phone last night. At least now she knew what this Jenna looked like, not that it made her feel any better.

Sage hit the button for erase so she wouldn’t be tempted to torture herself and listen to it again.

Driving aimlessly, she fought back tears. If she went home now her grandmother would know immediately that something was wrong.

She parked the car near the lake. This spot was as painful as any other as far as memories of her and Mustang were concerned.

Everywhere she looked were reminders of him. She’d probably never be able to eat in the diner ever again.

This was good, really. Exactly what she needed. A dose of reality to prove to her fairytales don’t exist. She knew going into this with a ladies’ man like Mustang was risky.

Sage had been burying her head in the sand for weeks now, avoiding phone calls from Rosemary so she could stay in denial and forget he’d already been with her sister before he’d been with her. She hadn’t wanted reality to intrude and ruin her fantasy with Mustang.

Pressing one hand against the sick, empty feeling in her stomach, Sage tried to swallow back the tears, but it was useless. She cried it all out and then got out of the car and splashed the cool lake water on her face.

After checking her reflection in the rearview mirror, Sage headed for home. She’d only have to get past her grandmother and make it to her room, then she’d be fine. Homework was always a good excuse for locking herself away for the day. Grams would leave her alone then.

What she hadn’t planned on was what seeing Mustang’s trailer parked next to her house would do to her. She wanted to run in and let him convince her it was all a mistake. She wanted to believe him, sink back into his arms and into the fairytale.

With a deep breath, Sage opened the front door and came face-to-face with a pacing Mustang. He stopped mid-step and spun to face the door. “Sage. I’ve been waiting.”

She looked around. “Where’s Grams?”

She didn’t know how long she could hold herself together with him there. What did it mean that he’d dumped Jenna in town and come running to explain things to her? Sage tried not to read into that. She didn’t dare hope.

“She got a call from the church that they needed help sorting some donations for the tag sale or something.” He let out a deep breath. “Anyway, she left. We’re alone and I’m glad, because we need to talk.”

Mustang never got to start his talk because a knock sounded on the frame of the door she’d left open behind her.

“Hey, Sage. You’re a tough girl to get in touch with.”

With a last look at Mustang, Sage turned toward the door. What else could come at her all at once? “Hi, Jeremy. Sorry, I’ve been busy.”

“That’s okay. I think you should get your cell phone checked out though, because I called a bunch of times and even left messages.

When you didn’t get back to me I figured it must be broken.”

“Yeah. Must be. I’ll get it checked.”

He finally acknowledged Mustang himself since Sage had made no attempt to introduce them. He stepped forward. “Hey, I’m Jeremy.”

Mustang shook his extended hand. “Mustang.”

“He’s a neighbor. He grew up on the next street,” Sage explained, knowing calling him just a neighbor belittled what they had together and at the moment not caring.

“Pleasure to meet you. Anyway, I came by because I was cleaning out my car the other day and I found this.” Jeremy whipped a lipstick out of his pocket and held it up with a smile. “I know it’s not mine, so I figured it must be yours. I guess you dropped it the other night on our date.”

Sage watched the mixed emotions cross Mustang’s face. “Thanks. I appreciate you dropping it off.”

“No problem at all.” With a quick glance at Mustang, as if he was deciding if he wanted an audience for what he was about to say, Jeremy continued. “So I’ll call you, you know, when you get your phone fixed. There are some good movies coming out I thought we could see.”

What was she supposed to say? She hadn’t even really given this guy a fair chance and Mustang was leaving, not to mention messing around with another woman. “Okay.”

Jeremy’s face lit up. “Great. I’ll see you soon then.”

She nodded and repeated with far less enthusiasm. “Great.”

How could she go back to a normal life, to a normal guy like Jeremy, after being with Mustang? All else paled compared to life with him.

“All right. Okay, then. Bye for now. Oh, and nice meeting you, Mustang.”

“Yeah. You too.” His voice sounded flat.

The door closed behind Jeremy and Sage was alone with Mustang once again. Her heart began to pound. Half of her prayed he’d step forward and take her into his arms and make it all okay.

Instead, he stayed at a safe distance all the way across the room.

“You wanted to talk?” she finally asked when he made no move to start the conversation.

“Yeah. I’m leaving town. I wanted to say goodbye.”

***

Mustang drove the short distance to his parents’ house fighting the urge to pull over and vomit. How could doing the right thing make a man feel so bad?

Sage had had someone in her life before he’d shown up. If he hadn’t come back to town, if he hadn’t let himself play around with both her body and her heart, she’d still be with that Jeremy guy and happy instead of hurt and miserable.

He could still see the pain on her face when he told her he was leaving. It sucked for both of them, but once he was out of the picture she’d go back to her nerdy bookworm boyfriend. They were perfect for each other actually. A man with a high-school education who made his living hanging onto a ton of bucking bull had no future with a college-educated pre-school teacher. She needed a man who liked to read books and see artsy movies and stuff.

Jeremy was as good for Sage as Mustang was bad, but saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing he’d ever done. In fact, it made the next dreaded task on his list look like a cakewalk.

Mustang parked behind the house and walked in through the kitchen door. “Ma, where’s Dad? I have to talk to him.”

“He’s right in the living room, darlin’. Is somethin’ wrong?”

Besides the hole where his heart used to be? “No. It’s just I decided to go back on the road and travel with the circuit. I’m getting closer to being healed. The sports medicine docs will keep an eye on my arm. This way I’m there and ready when they say I can ride again.”

His father appeared in the doorway. “So you make a decision and just up and leave? Just like that with no notice and no consideration for anyone else but yourself. What am I supposed to tell them at work?”

Mustang drew in a deep, steadying breath. “Tell them thank you very much for the job and the opportunity. I really appreciate it, but it’s time I got back to my life.”

His father snorted and left the room.

“Is there an address I can mail your last paycheck to?” Mustang’s mother kept her voice low. So did he when he answered her. No need to tempt further wrath from the unhappy man in the other room. Better to let him stew in silence.

“Can I just leave you a deposit slip? My account’s at the bank in town.”

“Of course, darlin’. No problem.”

He wrapped his arms around his mother. “I’m gonna miss you, Ma.”

“Me too. And why aren’t you wearing your sling?”

She was changing the subject. That was best for both of them. He knew she was fighting tears and he was pretty close himself.

“I’ll go put it on.”

“You see that you do. Brisket for dinner. Will you be here to eat?”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure I am. I’ll leave in the morning.”

She nodded and went back to the counter to finish whatever she was doing and Mustang was free to…what? Wallow?

He went to his room and took out his cell phone. He hit a button and listened.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Slade.”

“Hey, what happened? Did you work things out with Sage?”

“Um, we can talk about that when I get there.”

“Get where?”

“The next venue is this coming weekend in Weatherford, right?”

“Sure is.”

“I’m heading out in the morning. I’ll be waiting for you whenever you get there.”

Slade was silent for a second. “Okay. We were going to hang out at my father’s for a bit longer, but since you’ll be there we’ll take off early too. I’ll call you when we get to Weatherford.”

“Talk to you then.”

Yup, this was good. Back to normal. Life on the road. Traveling with the circuit. Being around Slade and the guys again. He couldn’t wait.

Mustang rubbed his stomach and wondered if his mother had any antacids in the house.

He entered the bar nearest the arena and saw he was not the first to arrive in town. The crews always got to the venues early to set up the chutes and pens, get the stock settled, basically get everything ready for the event.

Good. Lots of action would keep him occupied. Maybe with enough distraction he’d stop feeling shitty. Of course, enough beer would help that too. Mustang planted his ass on an empty barstool and ordered one.

“Mustang Jackson. You back already?” One of the network announcers slapped him on the back.

“Hey, JW. I’m not riding but yeah, I’m back.”

JW smiled. “Missed the life, huh?”

“Something like that.”

Mustang’s beer arrived and JW pushed a twenty across the bar. “Get me one of those and take them both out of here.”

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, particularly now that he was once again unemployed, Mustang raised his bottle in salute.

“Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

“My pleasure. It goes on my expense account, anyway.”

“Even better.” Mustang grinned.

The man settled himself on the stool next to Mustang and turned sideways to face him. “I’m glad I ran into you. We’ve been kicking around the idea of having an announcer down by the chutes for the duration of the event. You know, catching the guys when they first get off the bull, getting comments from the riders on the leader board, which as you know changes with pretty much every ride.”

Mustang nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a good plan. The fans will eat that up.”

“I think so too. I also think you might be our man.”

Swallowing the mouthful of beer before he spit it out at that suggestion, Mustang frowned. “Me? I don’t have experience.”

“The camera loves you.”

That wasn’t the first time Mustang had heard that in the past few days, but he was fairly certain Missy Love hadn’t been talking about his face when she’d said it.

JW continued. “How about we try it out Friday night. If it doesn’t work, we’ll forget about the whole thing. If it does, you can be our man on the ground for the rest of the time you’re out of competition. How long is that anyway?”

“Coupla more months, give or take.”

“So what ya say? We’ll pay you, of course. I’ll have to talk to the network about how much.”

Getting paid to hang around the chutes and not ride? Wow. For the first time in a long time, Mustang could visualize a life after he’d retired from bull riding. A career he wouldn’t loathe, one he would actually love and be able to make a living doing.
If
things worked out Friday night.

Grinning, he extended his right hand. “All right. It’s a deal.”

JW sealed the agreement with a handshake. “Wonderful.”

***

Nearly a week without Mustang. It felt more like a month. Considering that, how come she didn’t feel any better?

Probably because even now, rather than calling Jeremy and seeing if he wanted to go out, Sage sat on the edge of her bed waiting for the bull ride to come on. What she was watching for, she didn’t know.

Did she really want to catch him on camera with his
friend
Jenna in his lap again? Actually, she did. Maybe that would knock some sense into her. She was pitiful. Absolutely pitiful. That still didn’t prevent her from leaning forward when the announcer’s voice came on.

“We have a special treat for the folks at home tonight, Jim. Mustang Jackson, who you might remember was taken out of competition last month when Ballbreaker snapped his ulna and sent him to the hospital for surgery, is going to be our man on the ground today.”

What?
Mustang was now an announcer? When had that happened?

“That’s right, JW. Mustang’s back with the tour, but Doc Tandy from the sports medicine team confirms he won’t be back on a bull for a good two months.”

“Exactly, but Mustang is willing to take a stab at being on the other side of the microphone tonight. He’ll be interviewing the riders down on the arena floor, behind the chutes and most likely in back with the Doc. And we know the sports medicine room is a place Mustang is mighty familiar with.”

“I can hear you guys up there you know, and I’d like it noted that I’ve spent less time in the infirmary than most.” Mustang’s voice startled Sage.

She stood and got as close to the set as she could without distorting the picture. Then there he was, those intense eyes she’d stared into every time they’d made love, those lips that had covered most of her body.

The two other announcers laughed. “Hey, Mustang. This is Jim. What do you anticipate being the biggest challenge for you in your new role tonight?”

“That’s easy, Jim. It will be getting some of these cowboys to talk. Bull riders aren’t big talkers generally. Stick a microphone in the face of one after he’s just eaten a face full of dirt before the buzzer and I’m likely to end up back with Doc Tandy.”

Jim laughed. “That’ll keep you quick on your feet, at least.”

“Sure will,” Mustang agreed, holding the earpiece but remembering to look at the camera, which meant he appeared to be looking right at Sage.

JW took over the questioning. “The first of the riders is in the chutes. It’s last year’s Rookie of the Year, Chase Reese, aboard Jersey Boy. Mustang. Who do you pick in this match up?”

“That’s a tough one, JW. If Chase keeps his eyes where they belong, he should be good to go and have no problem with a bull like Jersey Boy.”

“He’s given the nod and off they go… Aw, and he’s in the dirt. What happened there, Mustang?”

The camera cut to Mustang, who was shaking his head. “He looked at the ground. If you look there you’re gonna go there.”

“Can you get us a few words with Chase, Mustang?”

“I’ll sure give it a try.” Mustang pulled the mic away from his face and yelled, “Hey, Chase.”

The look on the young cowboy’s face was nearly comical when Mustang came at him with the microphone.

“Uh hey, Mustang.” His eyes cut to the camera with a bit of a deer-in-headlights look.

“Hey, kid. Good to see you again. Do you know what went wrong out there?”

The rider focused back on Mustang and took in a deep breath full of frustration. “Yeah, I know. I looked down, just like you told me not to.”

Mustang slapped him on the back. “You have a plan for next time?”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna look down.”

“Good.” He grinned encouragement at the kid and then looked at the camera. “Back to you guys in the booth.”

JW laughed. “We didn’t know we had the Zen master of bull riding down there on the floor.”

Jim agreed. “You’re not kidding, JW. Let’s take a look at Garret James next, aboard Full House. Any thoughts on this one, Mustang?”

“Well, Jim, they’ve got a right-handed rider loaded for a left-side delivery. Chances are that bull is gonna go left out of the chute, away from Garret’s hand. That can be a problem for the younger kids like Garret with less experience.”

“Great observation, Mustang. Let’s see how he does.”

The banter continued as Sage stayed glued to the screen. She wanted to hate him, at least to forget him. But watching how he mentored the younger riders, really seeming to care, softened the heart she hadn’t done a very good job of hardening against him.

Hearing his laugh, seeing his smile, only made her miss him more.

There was a lull in the action and Mustang went into the stands and sat down next to none other than Jenna. Sage’s heart lodged firmly in her throat as Mustang spoke, “I’d like to introduce someone to you guys. JW, Jim, America, this is Jenna Block, Slade Bower’s girlfriend. Say hello to the viewers and the boys in the booth, darlin’.”

Jenna was Mustang’s best friend’s girlfriend. He hadn’t been lying. She was just a friend. Sage watched open-mouthed as the woman appeared shocked at being put on the spot on camera.

“Slade Bower is the rider currently ranked second in the world and has yet to ride tonight. Mustang, can you ask Miss Block how she’s feeling about watching her boyfriend get on the bull that put Skeeter in the hospital not long ago?”

Mustang opened his mouth to relay the question when Slade stalked into the shot. “Mustang, what the fu—”

“And here’s the man himself. Slade, turn to the camera and say hello to the folks watching at home.”

The men in the announcer’s booth laughed. “Good job keeping us G-rated for the sensors on Mustang’s part.”

Laughing, Mustang managed to get fairly coherent comments from both Slade and his girlfriend as Sage sat shakily on the bed.

Sage’s mind began to reel. If he hadn’t left because he wanted to be with Jenna instead of her, then why had he? He must have gone because she overreacted. She hadn’t even let him explain.

She had to apologize. Tonight.

Where the hell were they again? Weatherford? She could get there in a few hours. Decision made, Sage began throwing clothes into a bag.

***

About to climb the stairs and unlock the door of his trailer, Mustang felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and found the last person he’d expected to see. The only person he really wanted to be there. “Sage.”

“I’m so sorry. I should have trusted you. I should have believed you when you called and left the message saying Jenna was just a friend.” She started crying before she even finished the apology.

He pulled her into his arms. It felt really good to hold her. “Shh. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. You left. Months before you had to, you left because of me. Because I wouldn’t let you explain about who she was.”

“Sage, I could have gotten you to listen. Hell, I would have made you hear me out, but when I met Jeremy I realized you had a nice, steady guy who should be your boyfriend instead of me. You need someone like him.” Mustang swept his arm to encompass his surroundings. The arena, the trailer, the bar. “This is my life. I can’t ask you to make it yours.”

“You left so I could be with Jeremy? We’re only friends.”

He laughed. “He doesn’t want to be just friends, believe me.”

“It doesn’t matter what he wants because I want you.”

“I want you too, but I can’t be selfish. You have to finish school. You need a guy with a real job and a steady paycheck and a pension plan and, hell, I don’t know, a 401K.”

“I don’t want any of that. I just want you.”

Mustang shook his head. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Sage. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of.”

She held on to him more tightly. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of too.”

He let out a short laugh. “I seriously doubt that.”

“Look, I don’t care what you did before we were together.”

“You can’t say that because you don’t know.” Mustang shook his head, totally torn.

Jenna had been right. He and Sage couldn’t start a serious relationship by keeping things from each other. On the other hand, Mustang had done most things long before he’d reconnected with Sage.

That stuff didn’t affect him and Sage. The brief thing he’d had with Jenna and Slade would never be repeated and had happened months before Sage had reentered his life. Besides, it wasn’t only his story to tell. Jenna had a reputation to maintain.

But the things that had happened after he’d started building a relationship with Sage, that he would confess.

“Listen to me. I don’t care.” She enunciated each word carefully. “All I care about is you.”

“I care about you too. More than anything else. That’s why I want to tell you what I’ve done. I want to start our lives together with a clean slate.”

Or as clean as his very dirty slate could get.

“Can’t we just go inside and be together. Start our lives over. I don’t want to talk about the past.” She looked frightened. He didn’t blame her. He was frightened too.

“Let’s go inside, but we are going to talk.”

“Okay.”

Mustang opened the door and let her go in before him. She sat on the bed. That nearly distracted him enough to say fuck it to his confession and sink into her. He couldn’t do that. He owed her this.

“You know those two Saturdays I couldn’t see you?”

“Yes.”

He swallowed. This was harder than he thought it would be. She could easily walk away from him and never look back after this, but he had to do it. “Well, when I’d told you it was work, that was the truth. I took a job I’m not very proud of…”

And that began the whole sordid tale. He spared her the worst of the details and kept just to the facts. The bare basics of what he’d done and why were enough. He’d had sex on camera for money. She didn’t need to know any more than that. His having those images in his brain was enough. Sage didn’t need them too.

After he was done she sat in silence for a good minute. To Mustang it felt more like an eternity.

“So you had sex with other women.”

“Yes.”

“After you had sex with me?”

“No. Before. They called and asked me to do another one after I’d been with you and I said no. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t be with another woman, even for money, after I’d been with you. I didn’t want to. The only woman I want now is you.” His pulse racing, he added, “If you’ll have me.”

She drew in a shaky breath and shook her head. “I think I need some time.”

“I understand.” He rose. “I’ll see about getting you a hotel room. You probably won’t want to stay here with me.”

He waited, but the response he got was a nod as she rose and headed for the door. He let her go. What else could he do?

***

Feeling ill, Sage headed blindly across the street and into the bar. Ignoring everything as she concentrated solely on getting into the bathroom before she broke down, she kept her head down and didn’t look at any of the other patrons she passed along the way.

She made it in the door before the first tear escaped. She eyed the stiff brown paper in the wall dispenser.

“Here.” A woman she hadn’t noticed inside handed her a tissue.

Glancing up, she recognized Jenna immediately. “Um, Thanks.”

“Man trouble?”

Sage laughed through her tears. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“I’ve shed a few tears in public restrooms myself over a certain cowboy, but the good news is now he’s waiting for me outside and things are wonderful.”