Furthermore, the Gods punished me for not saving Pishkini's life and that punishment was going to Hell! It was never seeing my baby in the great afterlife! It was being raped and tortured repeatedly by Satan himself!" I feel the tears pouring down my eyes knowing that at this moment, I can't forgive him, at least not now.
"Senefru, you killed yourself rather than live with what you did. I was forced to watch the horror of you hacking away at your own neck. Do you have any idea what that did to me to watch you do that? It killed whatever goodness I had inside of me!"
I suddenly feel extremely exhausted and weary. Love and anger fight for dominance inside of me. I look down and reach my hand out to help him stand.
I can't help myself, I have to hold him in my arms one last time and kiss his lips lightly. I don't really hate him, I just can't be around him anymore. I will forever see him as the man who murdered my son and I.
I need to process everything and try to pull all of my selves together so I can be just me again.
I hold Senefru's face in my hands and whisper, "I can't forgive you right now and maybe not ever. Please, just leave.... now. I honestly can't look at you without wanting to hurt you."
I feel my eyes roll back in my head as I crumple with speed toward the floor of my bedroom, the pain of losing her son and her husband is so great.
"It's only Franklin from here on out. Senefru is now as dead as Harekini is. The last piece of me as Senefru died today in this room. He will always remain here with you, my love. I leave Senefru's heart with you as well sweetheart. I honor you and leave you alone forever more." Franklin whispers morosely as he bends over and picks Jinny up off the floor, kisses her forehead one last time then lays her gently down upon the bed.
He places one last kiss upon her sweet lips, knowing he'd never feel them beneath his ever again. Endless tears fall from his face as he burns the image of her beautiful face in his heart and soul then walks right out her bedroom door never to return again.
END OF PART 1....
Stay tuned for a sneak peak at Chapter 1 of "Burn My Soul Part II" in the Soul Series.
WHY NOW, why did her soul remember that particular day? I just don't understand. Is Harekini's hatred for me that day, so strong that it has withstood the boundaries of time and space?
She had no memory of me, Pishkini, or even of her human life when I found her again in Hell. Her memories of that life must have been erased from her memory by someone but, who?
I never did find out. I should have just left her alone when I found her alive again. Instead, I've triggered every single memory in her soul, overwhelmed her, and destroyed her life. She's better off without me in her life, hopefully safer. At least Demonicus is keeping an eye on her for me.
Franklin sits on the beach missing Jinny like crazy. He wonders what she's doing and if she misses him at all. He prays that maybe she does, even if it's just missing him to hate him all over again. Jinny's voice that day when it dropped to a whisper, had been so empty, cold, and flat. In all her three lives, he'd never heard her give up in life until that moment.
"Father, are you alright?"
"Yes, Demonicus. Did you just get in? How's everyone?"
"Damien has turned Madi and now has his hands full. Her influence has changed him. He's kinder and softer but, hides it well. They both miss having you around and wonder if you're ever coming back. Avery says hello. Have you found Ariel or Meg yet? Have you found any more answers yet?"
"How's...
she
doing?" Franklin says after he shakes his head no.
"
She's
coping, living moment to moment, still trying to find a way to reconcile all three of her lives. Oh who the hell am I kidding. I'm terribly worried about Jinny, Father. She works herself to the bone, barely sleeps, and when she does, she cries out in her sleep for Senefru and someone named Shadow. She barely eats and just sits in her garden listlessly. She carries your letter around with her everywhere but, has not been able to bring herself to read it yet, just smells it over and over again. She's lost weight too."
"Leave it be, Demonicus! I'm not coming back. She's better off without me and she knows where I am. Once she's read the letter and is ready to forgive me, only then will I return and try again. Now drop it! She's a big girl and perfectly capable of taking care of herself. I won't force myself on her ever again!" Franklin shouts. He's out of control as he stomps away barefoot along the shoreline of his private island, wishing everyone would just leave him to rot in peace!
Why can't I stop thinking about him? I need to just read his letter and be done with it, instead of just holding on to it and breathing in his scent. I need to let Senefru go for good. It's been six months and he's clearly not coming back. He's gone for good and it's time to face that fact.
I'm barely holding on as it is. Even Shadow has left me. I haven't seen him since before Franklin left.
It's time to leave! I need to get the hell out of here and all the well meaning busy bodies. It's time to reconcile myself with my past from 3,386 years ago. It's finally time to return home and face my own mistakes, crimes, and my first death.
I just wish it was just as easy to figure out exactly what I am. Damien hasn't been able to find out anything more than what I already know.
I call to let the President of Egypt know I've made my flight plans and will be leaving tonight. I still remember him fondly from my childhood. He was my parents best friend until they died.
I know he's doing me a big favor by allowing me to have full access to my past life home. To close it from all tourists during my one week stay. Of course, the very large donation of money to help them build their new museum helped a little bit too.
For me though, it's just money that I'm more than happy to part with, to help them out, for them allowing me to be able to do this.
I start packing my bags and everything I will need in Egypt as I have the red eye flight out of here. I decide not to tell anyone that I'm leaving. They will all try to mother hen me and talk me out of it.
I really do love Avery, Madi, Demonicus, and Damien but, I'm really sick and tired of them treating me like an invalid all the time. Damn Meg and Ariel, running off like the bitches they are. I think, as I finish packing and preparing everything. Then, walk with light steps out my front door, stealing away into the moonless night.
DAMN, IT WAS hell to get here, especially alone but, it's oh so worth it! Here, I finally feel free. I think to myself as I step foot in Cairo, Egypt.
This is between me and my past! The President's assistant meets me, introduces himself and then drives me to my hotel.
When we arrive, he kindly carries my luggage inside the hotel for me. At the checkout desk the assistant tells me that a room has been reserved for me for an overnight stay at the end of my seven day week as well as for tonight.
He continues to tell me, the President will be over to see me in a few hours for a visit and to pick up the payment. After checking in, I go to my room thankful I have time for a short nap and am looking forward to it. I have the promised payment ready. $1,000,000 dollars converted into $7,132,000 Egyptian pounds but, I refuse to hand that much money over to just anyone and thankfully the President agrees.
I wake up at the crack of dawn, confusion taking hold for a moment until I remember that I'm in Egypt and why I'm here. Suddenly, I'm nervous about facing my past as I take the time to have some breakfast before I head home, to my birth home.
"Ma'am, are you sure you want to stay here in this place? There's not much here anymore and hasn't been for centuries.
My male guide steering the boat is clearly worried for the beautiful young woman staying at the ruins all alone with only her camping gear and no protection. He knows she's gotten explicit permission from the President himself.
He's also aware of the archeology team working only two miles away from where she's staying. But that's a longer distance than one thinks especially, when the dust storms begin here.
"I'll be fine here, kind sir. Thank you for your concern. The President assures me this is the only entrance to the ruins. Is that correct?"
"Yes Ma'am, that's correct. I would advise though, if you plan to swim in the Nile, do it closer toward dark. The boats will still run by here at the opposite side of the river. They won't bother you or stop but, if you don't want people knowing you're all alone here, the boats do their last run around 5pm. I would wait until after that." He explains, his face serious as he's still worried about her being all alone in the ruins with the ghosts and Gods of ancient past.
"Thank you for the information. I deeply appreciate it. I promise you, I
will
be alright. If I need help, I know the man running the archeology team. He's my former college professor. I will just wander over to the dig site if the silence gets to me. Right now, all I want is silence and to immerse myself in the past." I smile at my sweet guide, a wonderful man who appears to be only a few years older than myself.
"Just a word of warning, my lady. I would stay in your made up room at the temple late at night. Many say the ghosts rejected by the Gods still roam there at night, always searching for a way to the great afterlife." He eyes are shining with true fear. I just smile as I know for a fact that those ghosts are already in the afterlife, just not the one they wanted.
"Ok then Ma'am, we're here." My guide says as he pulls up to the private ramp leading straight to the ruins." Here's the key to enter the tombs that you requested. The president wants me to ask you to please touch nothing and stay behind the ropes down there."
"Of course. My ancestors are buried in those tombs. I would
never
disrupt their peaceful slumber in the great afterlife. I just merely want to pay my respects to my family." I smile sadly, knowing I will save that visit for very last.
My guide unloads all of my luggage and gear onto the ramp for me. I remain standing there and wave at him as he leaves, his face still full of worry. I'm actually thankful he's gone. I'm not afraid to be here or stay here, just afraid to confront my past and the pain that's going to come with it.
I stand there until I can't see him anymore, close my eyes, and breathe in the fragrant air of my surroundings....of.... my first home.
I throw all of my gear on my back, grab my bags of luggage, and slowly walk away from the edge of the Nile and toward the place of my our murder. My heart is racing in my chest. Ready or not, it's time to relive my past and make peace with it.