Burning Barriers (Barriers Series Book 3) (10 page)

“Luce—” Jake murmured as he tried to explain his feelings at the time.

“Jake, please, I just need to get through my side before you say anything more,” I interrupted as Jake’s hand pushed some of my hair to the side, and I felt his thumb glide over the back of my neck. The simple gesture calmed my nerves.

“If I’m being one hundred percent honest with you, Jake, you need to know there hasn’t been a single guy I’ve slept with over the years that even compared to you. After talking to my therapist back East, I think I have come to realize that I slept with all those different guys because I was trying to hold on to what we had for so many years. Unfortunately, my lack of better judgment made me sleep with Sam’s ex-boyfriend who was in prison for three years for attempted murder. I didn’t have a clue what his name was or what he looked like at the time, so when I learned who he was I wanted to die. Little did I know Stone would be capable of nearly granting that wish a few weeks after I found out about him from Sam.”

I stopped for a second to take an extra long sip of my white wine again, allowing the cool liquid to coat my scratchy throat. This time I decided I should probably pace myself a little bit. I already had some wine with dinner earlier and then the couple at Jake’s. My head wasn’t swimming yet, but with the altitude here, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle my drinks as I could back home.

My gaze lingered on the crackling fireplace in front of us as my lips parted from the rim of the wine glass. Running my tongue along the crease of my lips, I focused on how I should start the rest of my story. I had explained this to more than enough people since the night it happened. Why telling Jake had become one of the most difficult things to get out, I didn’t know. It was as though the moment I let it all go he’d see my wounds beyond my scar. It would be like I had let him back into my heart and body completely. He would know everything, and we would be even closer than ever.

I knew he still hadn’t told me everything in his past, and eventually he probably would. Although I’m pretty sure nothing, and I mean nothing, could surmount what was about to leave my lips. I glanced back at my nearly empty glass of wine and returned it to my lips, tilting my head back to let the remainder of the cool fluid flow down my throat.

Screw it. I leaned forward and grabbed the bottle of wine, carefully placing my empty glass onto the wooden tray that sat on top of the leather ottoman. I uncorked the bottle and looked back at Jake who curiously stared at me but didn’t judge. He only nodded.

I raised the bottle and tipped my head to him. “Judgment-free zone?”

“I’ve never judged you a day in your life, Luce, and I’m not going to start tonight. Chug away,” Jake casually stated as he leaned back further into the sofa.

Bringing the rim of the bottle to my lips, I let it all go. As distastefully as that appeared, I needed to be completely relaxed in order to recall that night as Jake listened to every word. Within seconds, the bottle was empty, and I placed it beside my already empty glass on the tray.

Sigh.

“Jake, if there is one thing you need to know before I tell you this, it’s that I came back here because my parents thought I needed to ‘recover’ or something to that extent. I wasn’t fully on board with the idea, but I’m glad I finally came back. I just hate thinking it took nearly dying at the hands of a monster to do it.” My eyes began to gloss over and blur just as I felt a warm tear fall from the corner of my eye. I wiped it away with my finger and stood before Jake, pulling up my sundress slightly. I needed to look at Jake as I told this. I hadn’t needed anyone this badly since Sam and I recounted that night before I left town.

Jake eyed me suspiciously until I placed my bare knees upon either side of his legs as I lowered myself onto his lap. All sexual tendencies were gone; he knew me better than anyone. When we were kids, this was how I sought out comfort from him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and his fingers rubbed along the small of my back. My head suddenly flooded with emotion, and I knew I was completely at ease. The wine clearly affected my emotions more than I thought possible, or just having to say all this out loud to Jake was causing more pain than I could imagine. Jake sat there, silently waiting for me to find my voice, and I knew I needed to do this.

Shutting my eyes, I cleared my throat, and I was ready to recount the story of that night.

“I won’t go into all the details, but if it weren’t for me constantly trying to find myself through sexual hookups, that night might never have happened. Or maybe it would have regardless. Stone was a monster looking for revenge on Sam, who put him in prison three years ago for nearly killing her. Somehow, he found her again and used me to get to her. I slept with him twice before I even knew his true identity. Then, after a month of him going under the radar, the police didn’t have any leads to his whereabouts.

“I was alone at the house. Sam was out with Josh, and Kim and Rose were on tour with the derby team. When the doorbell rang, I never thought twice, and the second I opened the door, Stone stormed inside and pinned me to the wall. His hand was wrapped tightly around my neck as my hands struggled to pull it away enough to get air.

“He repeatedly slammed my head into the wall before dragging me up the stairs to my bedroom. Stone was a force to be reckoned with. He was stronger than I thought and getting out of his grasp wasn’t an option. If he was going to hurt me, he could do so without even breaking a sweat.

“The moment he got me to my bedroom, he threw me onto the bed. I tried to catch my breath and run away from him, but something more sinister triggered inside him. He twisted my body to face him just as the back of his hand connected with the side of my face, propelling me across the room again and onto the bed. Stone’s body was behind me, keeping his weight so I could feel how much he ‘enjoyed’ causing me physical pain. He continued to pin me beneath his heavy frame as he told me how he was going to delight in the fact that he ‘got off one more time inside the easiest fuck he ever had the pleasure of killing.’

“He probably would have succeeded in raping me had it not been for Sam and Josh coming home early. I heard the snap of a pocketknife before I felt the cool blade against the side of my neck as he pushed me forward with each step he took. If I so much as screamed, he threatened to slice my neck open. Stone dragged me down the hall to another bedroom, and we hid in there until he knew Josh had left the house with Sam alone inside. When Stone opened the door to my room and I stared at Sam, her face was pure terror. She knew we couldn’t win the battle. Her eyes focused on Stone as the blade dug a little deeper into my neck, and I began to lose any ability to hear what they were saying. It felt as though I could see my life flashing before my eyes. I was going to die. The next thing I knew, I was pushed across the room as Stone lunged for Sam and I went headfirst into my wall.

“According to Sam, I wasn’t conscious for much of that battle until Stone picked me up and dragged us into Sam’s room. The moment I saw him on top of her placing tape over her mouth, I screamed as loudly as I could. I screamed for help I knew would never come. It pissed Stone off even more when he heard me, and at that moment, I watched him grab the carving knife he must have picked up from our kitchen and come at me. I shuffled back into the corner and watched him go into attack mode. Sam tried screaming, but with the tape over her mouth and her hands bound with rope, all she could do was mutter loud grunts.

“I didn’t know what Stone had planned for me, but he snatched my arm and twisted me into his body and said he hoped I enjoyed screaming because that would be the last sounds to ever come out of my mouth. Then, I remembered feeling the cool steel slicing into my neck, and I must have passed out either after the knife was removed or after he slammed my head against the floor. I can’t really remember. Sam said she shut her eyes and couldn’t watch what Stone was doing to me.

“My next memory after that was when the paramedics were loading me onto the stretcher, and they told me the police stormed into the room and killed Stone just as he was about to kill Josh with the same knife that left me with the scar I have now.”

Tears flowed down my face at a rapid pace as I finally revealed to Jake the exact details of that night. I was thoroughly exhausted. My eyes opened, and I looked at him, but his expression wasn’t what I expected. Light from the fire gleamed off the moisture that coated his cheeks, and I realized he had been crying along with me. I extended my hands to cup his face and to wipe away the moisture from his cheeks.

His eyes shut slowly. “Luce, I had no idea.” Jake shook his head slightly as though he was trying to remove the images of my story from his mind. I took a deep breath before leaning my forehead against his. Suddenly, I felt as if all the weight had been lifted from my shoulders and life was as it should be. Jake’s strong arms enclosed tighter around me, and I released all my reservations and just lived in the moment.

I licked my lips before gently bringing them to his. Jake’s hand ran up along my back and rested behind my head, pulling me even closer. Our kiss deepened, and his grip constricted even more until he stood, and I wrapped my legs securely around his waist as he carried me down the hall.

Once we entered his bedroom, he gently laid me down onto the bed and continued to kiss me with more love than I could imagine. I no longer had to envision it was Jake with me because we really were together, and it was better than I had ever imagined after all these years.

Jake pulled his lips from mine and stared into my eyes. There was something in his eyes that wasn’t quite right. It was as though he needed to get something off his chest, and yet he didn’t say a word.

“Jake? What is it?” I wondered if there was something I didn’t say or do that stopped him in the heat of the moment.

“Luce.” He gently slid his thumb over my cheek as he watched me stare back at him. “I can’t do this with you tonight. Not like this. I have things I need to tell you, too, but nothing compares to the fuckin’ shit you’ve been through. I had no idea.” His voice suddenly cracked, and the next thing I knew he was lying beside me, bringing me into his side and humming “our” song into my ear. Bryan Adams “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” became our song the night he asked me to be his girlfriend after years of crushing and flirting.

I closed my eyes and felt the vibration of his chest as he held me firmly. The humming of the lyrics soothed my soul, and I was relaxed almost instantly. My mind filtered off to the night when we watched Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Once the credits were over and he flicked on the living room lights, he stared back into my eyes. I wasn’t sure how to read him. I’d stared into those big brown eyes for so many years, and in that moment, I couldn’t understand what he was thinking. I lowered my eyes nervously to the empty popcorn bowl that sat between us until Jake knelt in front of me on one knee and begged me to be his first and only girlfriend. I jumped into his arms and agreed immediately. I loved him then, and I love him now, even if it will hurt again the minute I have to turn around and go back to the life I’ve made for myself back East.

After I recall the events of the night before, my feet hit the floor, and I move across the room with Summit following at my side toward the sounds I hear coming from down the hall. The sound of Eminem on the speakers hits my ears as I round the corner of the long hallway and catch a glimpse of the kitchen. My feet stop moving, and I lean against the wall and watch.

Wearing only a pair of pajama pants, Jake stands with his back to me at the stove. His back muscles strain as he stretches for what appears to be his coffee cup at the other end of the counter. His head bobs as he cooks and jams along with the beat, but that’s not what catches my attention. It’s the tattoo that now adorns his back in-between his shoulder blades. It’s some kind of tribal lettering and scrolls that I can’t quite make out from here.

Summit runs away from where she was sitting, alerting Jake of my presence. He turns his head in my direction and lowers the burner with his other hand. The smell is absolutely heavenly, and I wonder what he’s cooking.

“Good morning, how’s the head? I figured it would be ringing after the bottle of wine you drank last night,” he says, pouring a cup of coffee and adding a little milk and sugar in it. He walks over to me, handing me the steaming mug.

“It’s okay. I’ve had worse mornings. Ummm… Jake?” I raise the coffee mug, silently asking him if this is mine.

“Drink up. It’s just like you used to drink it, and I’m making your favorite, blueberry pancakes with bananas.” He kisses the top of my head and points with the spatula as he walks back to the stove. I pull up a bar stool at the island, placing the mug onto the placemat set in front of me. Before I sit down, I have to tighten the waistband on the flannel bottoms I’m wearing before they fall to the floor.

I’m surprised after all this time Jake still remembers exactly what I like to eat and how I take my coffee, but I don’t say anything. I still know exactly how he cooks his steak and what he always orders for burger toppings. Some things you never forget.

“Hey, Jake, I’m curious. We didn’t do anything last night. Did we? I mean, I don’t remember changing out of my dress.”

Jake flips a couple of the pancakes onto a plate and scoops a dollop of butter in the middle before pouring maple syrup all over the top and placing the plate in front of me. My stomach growls loudly with anticipation of the gooey fattening yumminess that is about to enter my mouth.

He chuckles and leans on the counter, giving me a direct view of his clenched ab muscles. The muscles in his arm flex enough for the veins to appear from his shoulder down to his wrist. My mouth salivates between the food smell and the man before me, and I’m pretty sure I just freakin’ drooled all over his shirt. Quickly grabbing the fork on the placemat, I pull off a piece of the pancake and shove it into my mouth to avoid anything embarrassing from happening.