Burning Barriers (Barriers Series Book 3) (4 page)

Home.

Funny. Breckenridge should be my home, but after so many years away, I feel as though I’m a tourist now. The outsider looking in. I mean, I didn’t even recognize SJ yesterday. We used to be pretty close back in high school. Now, it’s as though I don’t know anyone here anymore.

At this rate, I’m not even sure I’m going to make it the next few weeks here.

The sound of some ungodly country music filters through the downstairs where I can see my mother slaving over the stove. The aromas of bacon and eggs waft through the air, and I instantly groan and pull the front of my hoodie over my nose.

“God, Mom, you know I hate the smell of bacon,” I say as my sweatshirt muffles my words.

“Oh, I must have forgotten. I’m sorry, Luce. It’s been a while since you’ve been home, and you know how your dad loves this stuff.” My mom nervously tries to remove the bacon from the heat.

Pulling my sweatshirt off my nose, I make my way over to the coffee pot. I grab a mug and start pouring, spooning in the sugar like crazy. My thoughts go to Sam and her sugar addiction, and I wonder how her own recovery is going and what she’s doing. A sudden feeling of homesickness washes over me, and I miss being with my girls.

Snap out of it, Lucy. It’s time you moved on with your own life.

As I turn back to see my mom still frantic over the bacon, I walk by her and pat her back before heading to the sliding back door. “Don’t worry about the bacon, Mom. I’m going to sit out in the yard for a little bit and read.”

“Luce, are you okay? Ellen said Jake came by the bar yesterday.“

I stop with my hand on the door. My body stills at the mere mention of his name. My mind instantly remembers how much effort it took for me to ignore Jake yesterday and get into my car and drive away.

Lost in my thoughts over Jake, I never see my mother approach until her hand rests upon my shoulder. I flinch back ever so slightly as my breath catches in my throat. When I see the pain on her face as I pull away, I know I’m still not over everything Stone did to me. It’s obvious there are still some remaining issues that I need to set my sights on in order to allow myself to accept that Stone is dead and I’m alive. I might be a little damaged, but I survived, and that’s what matters most.

I place my coffee mug onto the counter next to my e-reader and turn to face her. I need to get better, if not for me, for her. I can’t be the one to cause pain to anyone, especially my own mother. Reaching my arms around her waist, I pull her into a hug that I know only she can understand. Her body relaxes, and I feel her hands begin softly running up and down my back.

“I know I’m not exactly where I need to be, Mom, but I’ll get there. I promise,” I whisper while resting my chin on her shoulder.

She pulls back, and I see the wetness forming in her eyes. I slowly raise my hands to cup her face and gently rub my thumbs over her cheeks. My eyes meet hers, and I silently tell her I mean what I say. I will not let what happened to me win out over my future. I’m just not sure if a few weeks back in Breckenridge will ultimately be what I need to change all of that.

I have to try, though.

Mom’s lips form a straight smile as she pushes my morning hair away from my face. Before heading back to the stove to clean up, she starts humming a song that only she knows comforts me. The melody of “Landslide” hits me, and my own eyes begin to water, even with a smile on my face. When I was growing up, Mom always sang it to me, and she knew every time I was knocked down, that song brought me back to my feet. I slide open the back door and grab my coffee and e-reader before taking a seat in the chaise lounge on the patio. The sound of trickling water in the creek behind the house is almost as good as a day at the spa.

A subtle breeze gently whips the aspen trees around me before I hear a knock at the front door. I glance at the time on my e-reader’s main screen before tossing it onto the cushion next to me.
Shit.
Two hours have passed, and much of my first full day has already been wasted. I must have been completely engrossed in what I was reading. I’ve always been a huge reader. Books allow my mind to go places I’ve never thought possible. Truth is, the books nowadays are like watching porn, but the movies all play out in my head instead. Never in my life have I ever imagined what it could possibly be like to have sex with someone as dominate as this man. Shit, this book has all the scenarios I could only dream of doing with a man. Al Daltrey really knows how to write one hell of an erotica book.
Testing
The
Submissive
has my clit tingling and my core dripping from just reading about the two main characters, Abigail and Lewis. It takes one hell of a book to make this sex-crazed chick get all hot and bothered. If ever I meet the author of this book, I’m buying him a freakin’ drink!

My mind is still distracted by Lewis as I continue to stand and make my way into the house. I figure my mom must have decided to leave me to my solitude out in the backyard. I don’t realize this is not the case until I’m stopped dead in my tracks by a huge wall of muscle currently blocking my way into the house. My eyes trail up to meet his as I take a few steps back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I snap as his shit-eating grin begins to annoy me.

“I had the morning off, so I thought I’d stop by to see how you were doing.”

“Well, I’m here, and I’m perfectly fine. You can turn around and go home now.”

“Luce, I talked to Ellen last night. Well… she basically talked to me and told me all you’ve been through recently. I’m so sorry. Had I known I wouldn’t have come at you the way I did. I… I… it’s just been a long time, and… well, you know.”

“No, I don’t know, Jake. All I know is that Ellen shouldn’t have told you my business. I’m only home for a few weeks to try to get my head straight after everything. Having you show up yesterday, and now today, is
not
helping me sort my shit out.”

A look of pain suddenly flashes across his face as though I slapped him or broke his heart. My knees tremble in his presence, but I know no matter what, I need to be able to move on from him again. I cannot give in to the years of memories and fantasizing about a man who still holds a piece of my heart after all this time.

Suddenly, movement behind Jake distracts me enough to pull my eyes away from him. Ellen moves closer until she sees me standing there with my arms crossed and tapping my foot as she glances between Jake and me.

“I’ll just be inside. It’s looks as though you two have some issues to work through,” she says before quickly moving back into the house.
Run, Ellen. Run now.
Sister or no sister, I will hurt her for opening her trap about what happened to me, especially to Jake, of all people.

I let out a huff of air before returning to the chaise lounge to gather my things. I make quick work of snatching my mug and e-reader before turning around to see Jake still standing there staring at me. He slowly moves across the stone patio to stand within inches of me again. His hands reach out to grab the items in my hand and place them onto the black wrought iron patio table.

When he turns back to face me, he gently places his warm hands around mine. My eyes focus on the simple connection instead of my weakening willpower against the man in front of me.

“Lucy, I get we parted on bad terms years ago, but I never would
ever
want you to have to go through anything that would jeopardize your life. I just wish…”

My eyes remain fixated on our linked hands.
Don’t look at him, Lucy. Don’t do it. You know it will all be over once you do.
As much as I hate to admit this, no matter what happened during my past sexual encounters, I know Jake Galloway has been a part of my heart and soul all this time.

I stay focused on our hands, but Jake’s voice breaks my tenacity when he tells me the only words I had hoped he’d never say again.

“Lucy, I just wish you had never left. You’re the only woman I’ve ever lo—”

“Please, don’t say it, Jake.
Please
,”
I interrupt him before lifting my eyes to his. “Please, don’t say those words.”

“It’s true, Luce. I’ve only ever truly loved you, even after I let you go.”

Stay strong, Lucy.

“Jake,” I softly say. “I can’t do this with you.”

“Why not? I saw the way you looked at me yesterday. Shit, I see it right now. Don’t fight it… us.”

I shake my head, trying to convince him more than myself that this is not the case, even when I know in fact he’s called my bluff. Before I have any chance to lie and tell him I don’t feel the same, his hands pull my face up to his, and his lips crash unto mine.

Seven years apart have suddenly dissipated with just one kiss. Our tongues collide as my hands reach out to fist his button-down shirt between my fingers. I pull him closer. Even though our mouths are connected, I feel the need to be closer.

My body melts instantly in his arms, and I realize in just a few weeks, leaving him will ultimately be harder than it was seven years ago.

Why did I even think coming back here was a good idea?
Oh, right, because the man in front of me has suddenly made my mind switch from being on edge about Stone to instantly at ease. He makes me feel safe. I don’t flinch at his touch. He still owns my heart and my body.

I’m so fucked!

I can’t understand why or how I managed to start kissing Lucy. Hell if I even care. My dick is rock hard, and it’s aching to be buried deep inside her again. My hands roam under her oversized sweatshirt and trace slowly over her back. One hand pulls her closer into me as the other begins to tread softly over her stomach before reaching her tits.

Holy shit, no bra. Seriously, this is becoming a major mind fuck at the moment.

Soft moans vibrate against my lips as Lucy’s hands continue to hold on to my shirt for dear life. As I nip at her bottom lip, our kiss grows more feverish.

I need to have her right here and right the fuck now. I don’t give a shit if her family is in the house watching. Grabbing under her ass, I hoist her gorgeous curvy body and walk to the chaise lounge. I lower her so she’s beneath me, never breaking the connection between our lips.

Yeah, baby, that’s called fuckin’ talent.

She withdraws slightly to whisper my name as she pushes her heated core into my overly stimulated cock. Her hands move to start working their way around the belt loops of my pants just as Five Finger Death Punch’s “Bad Company” starts echoing from my back pocket.

Great fuckin’ timing.

I pull back from Lucy’s body and sit on the edge of the cushion. As I grab the phone, she begins to right her clothes and fix her hair. My free hand instantly reaches out to push back a stray blonde hair behind her ear, and I let my hand trail down to the scar that now marks her neck.

My eyes remain focused on her as I slide my finger across the screen to answer the call. Already knowing from the ringtone who’s calling, I answer more annoyed than anything. “What the fuck do you want, Laurel? I told you to stop calling my phone if it’s not an absolute emergency, so unless that fuckin’ barn is burning to the ground, you know to call my mother instead of me.”

Laurel Tanner. She’s my mother’s office manager at the ranch. She handles the books and finances along with all the meetings that happen on any given week. It helps she knows a thing or two about horses since she grew up with us on the ranch and used to barrel race for fun. She comes from money and gets everything she wants. My mother thinks she can do no wrong. The only problem with that is, she’s already done the worst thing out there.

Me.

We fucked in a barn stall one late, stupid, drunken night shortly after the summer I graduated from high school. What can I say? I was young, dumb, and full of cum. Technically, I still am, only now I know enough to avoid that black widow spider as best I can. If she gets her fangs in a guy, he’s toast.

Laurel continues to tell me that she can’t get in touch with my mother, and she has some meetings that need to be confirmed. My eyes watch as Lucy figures out exactly which “Laurel” I’m talking to and starts packing up her stuff from the patio. After I tell Laurel I’ll try calling my mother shortly, I hang up and turn my head to find Lucy heading toward the back door.