By Quarry Lake (3 page)

“Boyfriend. As
in... umm... More than friends?”

“More than
friends.”

Rob seemed
frozen to the spot, and Tommy risked touching him again, rubbing
those small circles on Rob’s back.

Rob jerked
away. “You have a boyfriend.”

“Had a
boyfriend. Past tense. My ex.” Shit. Why hadn’t he said that in the
first place?

“You had a
boyfriend. A boyfriend.” Rob seemed to have gone into parrot-mode.
He needed shaking out of it. Did Tommy dare?

The hurt in
those green eyes was too apparent to risk a kiss. Tommy wasn’t
about to present Rob with the perfect excuse to turn the tables and
pay him back for three years ago. Maybe some more talking, and then
who knew? Perhaps...

“I’m gay. G. A.
Y. I had a boyfriend. In London. We lived together for two
years.”

“I don’t
understand. Why did you...”

“Why did I hit
you?”

Rob nodded. “I
kissed you and you fucking decked me.”

“I think that’s
an exaggeration. I’m no boxer.”

“You split my
lip.”

“Shit. I did?
Sorry about that. I was… confused.”

“You were
confused? How the hell do you think I felt?”

Tommy bit his
lip and shifted round to face Rob. This wasn’t going to plan at
all. How could he explain that kiss had scared the shit out of him?
“I didn’t know. Back then. I still liked girls and I thought I
could be straight if I tried. Didn’t want to face up to it. I
never, ever thought that you might fancy boys too.”

“I didn’t. Just
you.”

Uh-oh. “So
you’re not gay then?”

“For fuck’s
sake, Tommy, of course I’m bloody well gay. Hello, gay porn
stash?”

“Oh, yeah. But
I meant...”

“You meant
what? You know you destroyed me that night, don’t you? You ripped
my heart out and fucking trampled on it.”

Tommy watched
the passion flare in Rob’s eyes. Oh. Now it made sense. His body
flooded with warmth and his stomach fluttered. “You loved me?”

Rob gave a wry
chuckle. “Yeah. Past tense. An ex-love.”

Hearing his own
words flung back at him stung, but the heat in Rob’s eyes betrayed
them. Tommy smiled. Okay, this could work after all. “You know
you’ve always been a crap liar, don’t you?”

“Piss off.” Rob
ducked his head, but his shoulder didn’t flinch away when Tommy
began that slow circling touch again, his hand gradually inching
down Rob’s back.

Time for total
honesty. “I was a weasely coward, I admit it. I ran away and I
spent the first year of uni screwing a lot of girls and trying to
convince myself I felt something. Anything. But every time I came I
was thinking about kissing you. Holding you.”

Rob’s shoulders
eased a little and he turned his head. “Carry on. What changed? How
did you meet this boyfriend of yours?”

“Will.” Tommy
was gratified to see the flare of jealousy on Rob’s face. Yeah, Rob
wasn’t over him. He might be angry, but those old feelings were
still there. “I met him at a club. A gay club. This girl I was
seeing insisted it was great for dancing and I wouldn’t feel weird.
She was right. I didn’t feel weird at all. I felt like I was where
I’d needed to be all along. You should have seen her face when I
started dancing with some shirtless bloke.” Tommy chuckled, but it
was forced. It hadn’t been funny at the time. Not really, but at
least he and Rhonda had been able to joke about it afterwards.
She’d complained she had a way of turning blokes gay, like she was
cursed or something, but Tommy figured it was more she was the kind
of girl confused men went for. Ultra feminine in appearance, but
with a ballsy attitude and filthy sense of humour. Best of both
worlds. Might have worked if he’d been bi.

Rob was still
watching him, like he was waiting for more. Fuck. “I didn’t meet
Will that time. I went home with some other guy. Met Will a couple
of months later. I’d got a bit bored of random strangers and I
liked him. He was twenty-six and had his own place. And he knew
what he was doing in bed and everything. Thought he might be nice
to see again. So I did. And before I knew it I was moving into
his.” Tommy realised his fingers were digging into Rob’s shoulder,
and eased his grip. “I didn’t mean to lead him on, you know? I
thought he was like me, just enjoying a good thing while he had it.
And then after a year or so he started getting all heavy on me.
Always wanting more, wanting me to settle down and be exclusive. He
wanted to get married, for fuck’s sake.”

Rob was
staring.

“What?”

Rob shrugged.
“What’s so bad about that?”

“Getting
married? Look at the mess my folks made of it. Nah, it wasn’t for
me. Not with him, anyway. He just... I couldn’t see us getting old
together. Every time I tried to imagine it my mind went blank.
Maybe I’m too young for that kind of thing. I don’t know.”

“Or maybe he
was the wrong person for you.”

“There is
that.” The moment held, fragile, their gazes locked. Tommy forced
himself to carry on. To get it all out there and see where things
led. “In the end we were fighting all the time, so I left him.”

“You left him?
Yeah, sounds about right.”

The bitterness
in Rob’s voice made Tommy wince, and forced him to greater honesty.
“Okay, he kicked me out, and I know I bloody well deserved it.
Happy now?”

Rob made a
face. He didn’t look happy, but at least he was still here,
listening to Tommy’s sorry little tale. He made himself carry on.
“I slept on mates’ floors for the rest of the term and finished up
uni. And now I’m back home, with a degree in fucking sculpture in
the middle of the sticks. Managed to find myself a job, though.
You’re looking at the new bartender at the Rose and Crown.”

“The Crown?
Seriously?”

“Yep. Remember
I had that washing up job there back in school? And I’m living at
Mum’s again. It’s like I never even left. But you know, if I could
just pick up all the pieces again... well, I got to thinking back
in London. Maybe I hadn’t known just how good I had it here.”

Rob’s lips
curved slightly in a half smile, but a world of wariness lingered
in his eyes. “So you’re back for good?”

“If I can find
something to persuade me to stay. Or someone.” Tommy dry-swallowed.
Say it. Just say it!
“You, actually.”

“What do you
mean?”

Had Rob always
been this slow on the uptake, or was it a farmer thing? “I mean, if
you ask me to stay, I will.”

“Just like
that?”

“Just like
that.”

Now that was a
priceless expression, the confusion and dawning joy on Rob’s face.
Tommy wanted to watch, but he wanted to kiss and feel too. The
latter urge won out. He reached for Rob’s jaw, found sandpapery
skin and the softest lips. He rubbed his thumb over them, watched
them part as he dragged Rob’s lower lip down.

“What are you
doing?” Rob whispered, but he knew. He had to know.

Still, Tommy
leant in slowly, giving Rob time to back away if he wanted. He
wasn’t about to steal this kiss. It had to be something they were
both into. Equal partners. Just like back in their treasure-hunting
days.

Their lips met
with the lightest of pressure. Tommy eased into the kiss, licking
at the seam of Rob’s lips only once he’d felt Rob join in. Rob
moaned and his mouth opened. It was almost too much to resist, but
Tommy held back and made a slow exploration. Rob deserved something
far more special than a sloppy, tonsil-licking snog. He sucked on
Rob’s lower lip, teased it with his teeth. Wound his fingers into
Rob’s hair and held his head steady while he lavished the best kiss
of his life on him. All those skills he’d picked up from Will and
the countless others wouldn’t go to waste. It had been worth it, if
it meant he could do this for Rob.

If he could
show him how much he loved him.

***

Was this really
happening?

Rob wanted to
pinch himself, but he didn’t want to let go of his grip on Tommy’s
shoulders. Not unless it was to feel more of Tommy’s body. Could he
do that? Was he allowed? Surely this kiss was permission?

He eased his
hands down, running them over the planes of Tommy’s chest. So much
sensation! Hard to concentrate on anything else while Tommy was
kissing him—his first kiss, unless you counted that attempt three
years ago. But Tommy’s chest was so inviting. Rob ran his hands
over the taut muscles. Tommy hadn’t gone city boy soft. He clearly
still exercised. He dared a dip down to explore Tommy’s hips. Bony
here, but not too skinny. He shuddered, thinking how close his
hands were to Tommy’s groin. Did he dare risk a feel to find out if
Tommy was as into this as he was? No. He wasn’t that bold.

Rob broke the
kiss with extreme reluctance. Tommy stared at him, cheeks flushed
and his eyes holding a question Rob didn’t know how to answer. He
looked down instead, following the trail of hair from between
Tommy’s nipples down to the thatch at his groin. Tommy’s dick was
long, smooth and curved, pointing in towards his stomach. It didn’t
look anything like Rob’s own, and he was almost embarrassed by the
contrast. His own cock was thuggish in comparison: thick, veiny and
an angry red. Didn’t seem to bother Tommy, though, as when Rob
looked up again it was to find Tommy staring down with naked
admiration in his eyes.

“Mind if I suck
that bad boy?” Tommy asked.

“Would I mind?”
Did he? It was hard to think right now, with the throbbing of the
blood in his veins and the pounding in his ears. “Go on, then,” he
said, easing his legs down to give Tommy better access. He wasn’t
about to turn this down. Even if there was still unfinished
business between them. They could deal with that afterwards.

“Oh God. Fuck!”
Tommy’s mouth closing on his cockhead was too much. Rob’s balls
contracted, and he had to force himself to hold back. It’d be
embarrassing to shoot this early. But bloody hell! When Tommy did
that with his tongue! So many textures inside his mouth. Rob felt
like his dick had died and gone to heaven. And then Tommy sucked
hard.

“Fuck, Tommy,
now!” was all Rob managed to blurt out, before his whole body
jerked. Pleasure rocketed through him, blasting all coherent
thought out of the way. His hands landed on Tommy’s head, meaning
to push him away but he ended up clinging on instead. Come gushed
out of him, into Tommy’s mouth. Tommy. Oh God.

Rob squeezed
his eyes tight, stars exploding behind his lids as his balls shot
again and again. And Tommy continued to suck, making greedy noises
like he was loving his bellyful of spunk. Something changed in the
rhythm of his sucking, and Rob could hear the thwap-thwap-thwap of
skin on skin.

Tommy was
getting off on this too. Rob floated, opening his eyes to watch as
Tommy froze, groaned, and splattered all over the towel. Shit. That
was hot.

But eventually
he had to come down from the high. Back to the world where he’d
just shot his load way too soon.

“Sorry,” he
mumbled, pushing Tommy back because bloody hell, his cock was
sensitive now.

“What for?”

“Umm, you know.
I was kind of excited.”

“I
noticed.”

Rob dared to
look up. There was a sparkle in Tommy’s eyes, but it didn’t look
like he was about to start jeering. More like they were both in on
a big secret together. Which they kind of were.

“Who knows?”
Rob asked. “Back here. About you.”

“About me
what?” Okay, that was definitely a teasing sparkle now.

“You know what
I mean.”

Tommy’s face
set into more serious lines. “Yeah, okay, I know. Apart from
family, just my boss at the Crown. Although come to think of it,
Molly’s probably told half the village by now.” Tommy’s face
scrunched up for a moment, then relaxed. “I told my mum and sister
first, a few days ago. They’ve been pretty cool about it. Don’t
think they were all that surprised, to be honest.”

“You’re
lucky.”

Tommy sat back
up. “Yeah, kind of. Don’t think my dad would have had that
reaction, somehow. That’s one reason I never visited when he was
still around. You told your old man yet?”

Rob just
snorted.

“I take it
that’s a no.”

Rob stared at
his hands. “I know I should tell him. But why bother? Why shake up
his world when it’s not like I’m ever going to have a boyfriend,
anyway.”

“You should
totally tell him now, though.”

“Why?”

“You and me?
You want to keep doing this, right?”

Rob nodded.

“Well I’m not
sneaking around like your dirty secret. I want you as my boyfriend.
I want to be able to hold your hand in the pub and tell everyone
about you.”

“Everyone?” Rob
gulped. Not just his father, but the whole bloody world. Could he
do this? “You mean like, random strangers are going to know I’m
bent?”

Tommy’s eyes
narrowed. “Are you ashamed of it?”

“No. Of course
not,” Rob protested, but the words felt kind of hollow. Because the
idea of people looking at him and knowing filled him with dread. “I
just... I just don’t see why it has to be anyone else’s
business.”

“It’s not. But
I’m not going to hide you either. The sooner we both act like what
we’re doing is normal, the sooner everyone’s going to accept it as
that.”

“But they’ll
all be looking at me and wondering.”

“Wondering
what?”

“You know. If
I, er, in bed. Which one of us...”

Tommy was
really glaring now. “You’re bothered about whether they think you
take it up the arse?”

Heat flared
across Rob’s cheeks, but he held Tommy’s gaze while he nodded.

“Fuck’s sake!
Does it matter? You think that’s something to be ashamed of? Some
straight blokes are into it too, you know.”

“Really? They
actually like it? That’s hard to imagine.” They never talked about
it if they were. Not Rob’s friends, anyway. Although they did seem
very keen to discuss which of the local girls were willing to take
it up the wrong’un.