Authors: Bella Love-Wins
ANDREW woke up the next morning. He was filled with regret. He caused all of it. He wished he go back and fix something, so the outcome didn’t have to be so catastrophic. Again, his past had a hold on his future. His mind drifted to Abby. He could still feel her touch on his chest, see the look in her eyes, and hear her sweet and sultry voice. All he had left was the memory of her. It was like one would imagine a ghost—there, but not really, something he could sense, but not touch.
Closing his eyes, he immersed in the fantasy of being with her. His hand reached down into his boxers. It was Abby’s tiny hands wrapped around his cock. She was whispering in his ear and telling him she wanted him. She told him she loved him. He inhaled and imagined her sweet smell. The botanicals of her shampoo, the perfume she had sprayed on her neck that night they were at dinner, and her own unique smell.
He could feel her lips kissing his neck, moving down with a trail of kisses on his chest, and further still, until her plump, juicy lips wrapped around his shaft. She was stroking his shaft and licking the cockhead, swirling her tongue around before she relaxed her jaw and took most of him insider her mouth.
His body tensed. He would put his hands in her hair. She would relax her jaw even more so he could thrust his hips until his cock hit the back of her throat. His hands stroked quickly now. He could see Abby’s eyes looking up at him as he lost control. And when his eyes rolled back into his head, and he came, it was in her mouth, with Abby smiling as she swallowed every drop.
He imagined her sliding up to rest on his chest, and holding him close as he caught his breath. She would bite on his earlobe and turn him on again, just from her breath on his neck. She would position herself to sit on his cock. He was hard again. Abby did that to him. Her hands would hold on to his shoulders, she would lean down and press a needy kiss on his lips, and lower her pussy down on his hard shaft.
He could hear her voice, whispering his name, groaning with pleasure, sending him closer to another orgasm. She would reach her peak before him. Her legs would tremble, her core would clench around his shaft and drive him to his climax as their voices merged into one majestic, erotic sound. She would collapse beside him and snuggle into his arms as they both fell asleep.
Andrew panted as he recovered. Abby was still at the forefront of his mind. The memories were too powerful to let go. He stayed in bed a few more minutes, thinking of her until he had to drag himself out of the fantasy. It was time to go back to the cottage. It was time to accept reality. Abby was gone.
He got up and went to the living room. He was agitated, distraught. He paced the room, and when it finally sunk in what he had done, he dropped to sit in the middle of the floor, staring vacantly out onto nothing, his head in his hands.
ABBY heard her phone ring after she left her seminar. She pulled it out from her bag. The number was not familiar. She hoped it was Andrew when she answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi Abby. It’s Ruth.”
“Oh, hi Ruth,” Abby answered, slightly disappointed, but hopeful it had not come across in her reply. “How are you doing?”
“Pretty good. How about you?”
“Very well, thanks. How are you settling back in at college?”
“Good. Hey, I was going to ask, do you want to come out to yoga with me sometime?”
“Um, I’ve never done a yoga class,” Abby answered. “I’m not sure…”
“I think you’ll like it. I go to a class near your campus. You’re at UCSF, right?”
“Yes. I’m not sure if yoga’s for me, though.”
“The first class is free,” Ruth continued. “And there’s one this evening at five, if you can come. I thought maybe…maybe we can talk.”
“Talk about what?”
“Stuff…girl stuff, I don’t know.”
“Do you want to come by my place?” Abby asked. “We don’t need a yoga class to talk.”
“Sure, but I still think you’ll really enjoy this class. And we can talk after. Come on, I can use the company.”
Abby was skeptical, and curious about Ruth’s real reason for calling. Still, getting out did sound interesting. “Okay, I’ll come.”
“Awesome!”
“Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”
“I will. You won’t regret it. I promise. Okay see you soon, Abby!”
Abby hung up and got in her car to head home. She had a few hours before the yoga class started. Getting out was probably a good idea. It helped that Ruth was easy to be around, from what she had learned about her at the cottage. As she drove home, her mind wandered to Andrew again. She wished she could make sense of why he left so suddenly, and why he still had not phoned her back. Maybe he needed more time.
Sighing, she turned into her building parking lot. She walked into her apartment and set her bags down. Her gaze instantly turned to the flowers Andrew had brought her the night before. They looked just as perfect as when he had brought them over. She didn’t need to look inside her fridge. The casserole she had made last night was in there—completely uneaten.
Eventually, the flowers would be gone and the casserole would be eaten or thrown out—more likely the latter, given her lack of appetite. The pain and confusion would last much longer. Tears welled up in her eyes. Yes, getting out of the house, even if it was for yoga, started to sound better and better.
***
Abby walked into the yoga studio. She was early. A woman at the front desk took her name and directed her to the change rooms. She changed quickly, then waited at the studio door for Ruth. There was a class that seemed to be wrapping up before theirs would start. The room alone made her glad she had come out. It had a beautiful view of the ocean. And everyone inside looked so calm as they stretched out on their mats.
Ruth showed up just as students were leaving the class. She was already dressed, and held her own yoga mat over her shoulder.
“Hey Abby,” she greeted her with a hug. “I’m really glad you made it.”
“Hi Ruth. Thanks for the invite.”
“Come on. Let’s go inside. The place gets packed for this class time.”
She showed Abby the stack of yoga mats in the corner of the room, and they set themselves up near one of the windows.
“Do you come down here often?” Abby asked as they waited for the instructor to start.
“Two or three times a week. I’d like to do more, but I’m on the volleyball team as well. There’s only so much room for leisure in between class time, I’m afraid.”
“I hear you.”
The incredibly fit yoga instructor walked to the front of the class and clapped to get started. She turned on some gentle music, and reminded everyone to grab a mat and spread out as much as possible.
“Alright,” the instructor started, “I’d like everyone to take a deep breath. For those who are new, every time you breathe, imagine filling your air with so much air, your stomach pushes out. You never want your shoulders moving up and down when you breathe. It means you’re not filling your lungs to capacity.”
Ruth looked over at Abby and nodded.
The instructor continued. “Let’s start with a nice and easy downward dog pose.”
Abby watched and followed slowly. Everyone else snapped at the hips to get into the pose.
“Be sure to arch your back,” the woman called out to the group. “Keep it strong and flat, yet relax and breathe as you deepen into the pose.”
She walked around the room, checking everyone’s form, Abby guessed. She adjusted some students’ positions and went back to the front of the class. She moved through each position in the same way. Except for a handstand at the end, Abby found it easy enough to follow along, and relaxing too. It just wasn’t as enjoyable as running.
Ruth waited outside for Abby to change back to her street clothes when the class was finished.
“So? How did you like it?” Ruth said when Abby exited the change rooms.
“Not bad,” Abby answered.
“There’s a little shop across the street. Want to go have a coffee?”
“Sure. Coffee sounds good.”
“Great.”
They left their cars in the yoga studio parking lot and walked over to the café. Abby inhaled deeply as they walked in, taking in the decadent, exotic coffee scents that filled the air. Yes. Coffee would help her focus when she got back home. She joined the line behind Ruth, recognizing many of the faces from the yoga class in front of her. Some had tucked around tables in groups of two to four. She smiled a little. It seemed counter-intuitive, taking a yoga class to relax, and then filling up with caffeine right afterward.
Ruth stepped up to the counter. The barista was ready to take her order. She turned to Abby to see what she wanted to drink. “It’s on me,” Ruth said, “as I practically forced you to come out, and all.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad I came. And thanks for the coffee. I’ll have a small espresso.”
The barista quickly made their beverages. While they waited, they found at table near a corner window. He brought their drinks over when they were settled.
“Tastes good,” Abby said to Ruth as she had her first sip. “I should come here more often.”
“Yes.”
“So what did you want to talk about, Ruth?” It didn’t make sense waiting too long to get Ruth to open up.
“I had an epiphany, and I wasn’t sure who to talk to about it.”
“What do you mean? What kind of epiphany.”
Ruth put down her cup of coffee and looked Abby right in the eye. “I don’t think we’re all cut out for relationships.”
“Sorry. Come again?”
“I’m not cut out for it. At least I don’t think I am. Not for any of it. Not relationships…or falling in love…or getting married. And definitely not kids.”
“And why would you think that?”
“Darwin.”
“You mean the scientist who came up with the theory of natural selection?”
“No. All this time, I thought I liked Rob, and I think I might like Darwin.”
“I don’t know your friends, honey.”
“He’s not my friend. He’s my dog back home.”
“You like your dog?”
“No. I love my dog.”
Abby let it register. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear any more of it. “I’m…I’m not sure what to tell you.”
Ruth finally realized what she had said, and raised up her hand. “No…gosh…sorry, I don’t mean it like that. I mean all this time I thought I wanted to be with Rob. And I like him. I really do. But I like being alone more. I like spending time alone, or with my dog. You know what I mean?”
“I don’t think I do, Ruth. Are you sure you don’t want to talk to someone else about this? Perhaps with a close friend? Or a professional?”
“I don’t want to talk to my therapist, Abby. Besides, he’s all the way back in Reno. Maybe this isn’t coming out right.”
Abby stopped short. She was almost too nervous to ask the question. She summoned up a breath of courage and spit it out. “Are you and Rob thinking of not dating?”
“I don’t know…maybe. Maybe I just need time to figure things out. I never planned on him liking me back. He was kind of like… like a fantasy. Someone I could be dreamy-eyed about, and admire from a safe distance. Then we spent that time in Lake Tahoe during the blizzard, and we got closer. And now, I don’t know if I like the fact that he likes me back. Is that weird?”
Abby thought it was weird. Or maybe it was her state of mind from Andrew’s anger, rejection, avoidance, or whatever his reasons were for stepping back. But she knew better than to agree with Ruth.
“I think the best thing you can do right now is talk to Rob about it. Take him out for a coffee, just like we’re doing now. Then take a deep breath, and tell him what you’re feeling.”
Ruth didn’t react for a few moments. She stared down into her coffee, a grimace on her face. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I feel like a hypocrite. I was so overt before, so obvious about liking him for so long. Now that he’s finally interested, I’m the one wanting to back away.”
“Maybe you just need time. But you can talk to him about that too. Just be honest with yourself. And then, go and be honest with Rob.”
“You’re probably right.”
Abby smiled and shook her head at Ruth. “Actually, I have no idea. I’m not an expert at love or romance, or even dating. No one is.”
“Patty from that millionaire reality show is.”
“What?”
“An expert. At love and monogamy. Haven’t you seen that show?”
“I don’t watch TV much, Ruth. The point I’m making is this. Only you and Rob can figure this out together.” Abby looked at her watch. “Did you want to talk about something else?”
“Um. Nope.” She looked up from her drink and smiled at Abby. “Thanks for listening.”
“No problem. Thanks for the yoga invite. It was pretty good. I enjoyed getting out. Come on, let’s go. I’ve got some project work to do for school.”
ANDREW saw her flash an innocent gaze on him through her lashes. God, he didn’t know what to do with this woman. She smiled as the look between them became more alive. She had such a playful look in her eyes, he was instantly turned on. She drew closer to him, and kissed him intensely.
He rolled her on top of him and kissed her right back, this time with more need, his hand on her jaw, caressing her face, connecting in such a heartfelt way, he felt they were one.
“Abby I love you,” he said. “Don’t ever leave me again.”
“I won’t,” she whispered, gazing dreamily in his eyes.
Her reply was so soft, so tender. All he wanted to do was claim every inch of her—body, mind and soul.
“Promise me…”
He wanted to say more, but before he could, she pressed her lips to his again. She lowered to him, and rubbed her soft breasts along his chest. She was so confident, so strong, so clear in her nonverbal statement of love for him. Her touch healed him over and over again.
His heart started to pound faster. The desire in her eyes intensified before him. She spread her legs, pressing against his manhood. It drove Andrew insane. His cock was dying to be freed from his pants so he could feel her. Skin to skin.
He looked up at her. “Abby. God, baby, you’re everything to me, and right now, you’re so sexy...”
He shifted her body up and gently took one of her perky nipples between his teeth. He heard a soft moan from deep in her throat. He wanted to let her know how he felt—with his touch. He wanted to bring pleasure to her face, and be the only one who would ever give that kind of pleasure to her.
“I want to make you happy, Abby. Tell me what you want me to do to you, baby.” He breathed the words into her neck, just below her earlobe so he could convey his need to satisfy her in every way.
“Mmmm. Oh God, Andrew. Just take me.”
Andrew never saw himself as someone who needed control. Still, he loved how she trusted him to fulfill all her carnal desires. The tone in her voice as she told him to take her—it was so incredible, so sexy. He strengthened his resolve to make her the happiest woman alive.
“Please baby,” she said, gasping as he licked and caressed her neck. “Just take me, then hold me. I need you, Andrew.”
He didn’t wait for any more of an invitation. He took her neck and ravaged her collarbone, sucking and gently kissing them, conveying his love with his lips and tongue and breath. He pressed his hand firmly on her back and turned again, moving his body so she was underneath him. He laced his hands into hers and gently pulled them over her head. She groaned, arching her back and spreading her legs as she waited for him to touch her again.
He lowered his head down between her breasts, kissing and licking as he made his way to her stomach. He used one arm to keep her hands above her head. He loved how she said it heightened her sensations. He moved lower still, devouring the tender skin below her belly button. Her stomach pulsed as he kissed her there. She let out a soft giggle. She was ticklish there, and that soft laugh made his cock throb with need. Tonight was not about him, though. It was about making Abby happy. That was his new mission in life.
He alternated with licks and soft kisses as he moved closer to her well-trimmed bush. Her musky, sweet scent was mild, inviting; just subtle enough to make him want to bury his tongue deep in her pussy. He inhaled a deep breath and took it slowly. He slid his free hand up and down her side, caressing her rib line as she arched her back and groaned with pleasure. His fingers trailed across all the spots he knew were sensitive on her, and gazed at her face for each reaction she made to his touch.
“I love tasting you,” he growled out as he reached her clit.
His words were a whisper. He tilted his neck to look in her eyes. Abby met his gaze and her lips parted. She mouthed the words ‘I love you’. It made Andrew’s chest tighten. He loved her dearly.
Her hips began to rotate under him, beckoning him. He asked her not to move her hands from above her head, and let go of her wrists. Both his hands moved down her body. He grasped the top of her thighs and massaged them. He licked and nipped at the skin above her pelvic bone. He looked up at her again. Her face showed her growing need. She was entering that faraway place again, where nothing mattered but his touch on her body. There was something in her eyes that aroused him completely, filling him with abandon as her body was splayed out for him.
He slowly parted her legs wider with his knee. He felt the heat of her pussy near his face. She was grinding on him now, begging to be touched and entered without saying the words. Her pleasure was building up, and pulling him in, tempting him to partake with her. He wanted her so much he was going crazy, but reminded himself this long, sultry pleasure ride was for her. She begged him to come inside. He wanted to give her his all, and knew she would love every minute of waiting. He told her to be patient.
“Wait for me Abby. Trust me and I’ll make every cell in your body want to scream.”
She seemed to forget herself, and started to move her arms from above her head. He looked up and gave her a look to remind her. She smiled and moved them back, her face still wanton, still needy for his touch. He made his way down her legs, and kissed every spot, all the way down to her toes. She moaned again, and bucked her hips, gasping and hissing. Her nipples hardened. She was already getting off on his touch.
“Don’t stop, baby,” she groaned as he looked up at her.
The expression in her eyes was one of indulgence, inviting him to take her. He moved back up her legs, growling in response. He was losing control of his need. Without breaking away from their locked eyes, he slid his hands up her body and back down. He slowly began to stroke her slit. She was swollen and dripping wet; ready for him. He didn’t want to rush; he wanted her pleasure to last. She loved it more when she waited. Taking her to the edge but not completely over; stretching out the moment, and then making her come again and again. That was what she loved. And tonight, he wanted to take her farther, beyond anywhere she had ever been before.
She moved under his touch, and without her hands, pulled herself up into his arms. He fell in love with her again, the way her head was thrown back, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. He used one hand to hold her at her hips, keeping her still as he intensified his touch. She groaned when he began to circle her throbbing clit without actually touching it. He got closer with each circle, spiraling softly to her, drawing it out before hitting the spot.
She was panting and squirming under his touch. Her whimpers became pleas. He decided he wouldn’t tempt her anymore. Without delay, he lowered his tongue to her clit and slid two fingers deep inside her, right to the hilt. She let out a scream of pleasure. He massaged inside her soft, tight, wet pussy, burying his fingers inside her and caressing her walls before pulling out and licking her clit again.
Her face showed her freedom; Andrew loved being able to set her free like this. She was almost gone from her mind. Her eyes closed again. Her head turned from side to side at the intensity of his touch. He wanted to give her even more. His fingers glided in again, curving back inside her to meet her G-spot.
She groaned and begged, “Andrew, please. Oh God. I’m gonna come, baby. Please make me come.”
She looked so sweet. All her cares were gone. She surrendered to him now. She was begging for what he wanted to give to her. He craved her. He wanted to make her come with his mouth, and then with his cock buried deep inside her. He yearned to make her scream and beg for more. His goal was to make love to her over and over again that night, until all she could do was hold him and sleep.
On the next thrust of his fingers, he slowly licked her clit, stroking and licking at the same pace. The look on her face transformed before his eyes. She went from tension, to need, to rapture as she spread her knees farther apart. Her hands were still above her head, one clutching the other as she struggled to maintain the pose.
He grasped her ass with his free hand, and flattened his tongue against her clit, briefly coming to a stop, allowing her to feel its warmth, and the firm pressure of his touch.
“Oh God, Andrew. God,” she ground out from clenched teeth.
He began to hum on her pussy, letting the vibration affect her even more. Her body was wound up completely. He licked down to her slit again, and back to circle her clit, tracking her writhing hips and the expressions of desperate pleasure and need on her face. She was going wild, heading straight for a peak.
Without warning, Andrew lost all control. Watching her wasn’t enough anymore. He lifted off her and pulled off his clothes. He looked into her eyes. Her hands moved down to touch herself as she waited for him. He looked on, feasting his eyes at her hands strategically placed, one on her nipple and the other on her clit. Her eyes pierced his. She groaned with urgency.
His breathing changed as he finally pulled his boxers off his leg. He stopped and looked at her before he moved back to his position between her legs. She smiled up at him, eyes half closed, body eager and writhing under her own touch, pussy wet, legs wide and inviting him to enter her.
Finally, all his clothes were removed, and all her need was laid out and on display, beckoning him. There was no more waiting, no more tempting; there was just the two of them, ready to satisfy each other, ready to hit the heights of pleasure. He grasped behind her knees and pulled her gently into position underneath him.
“I want to hear you scream, Abby. I don’t want you to hold anything back.” He whispered in her ear. He delivered hot, salacious breaths on her neck as his cock nudged closer to her hot pussy. He was rock hard. He continued to whisper in her ear. Her moans grew louder. He slid the tip of his cockhead inside her, and felt her walls clench onto it. She was so ready, so full of anticipation. She lifted her head and found his lips with her own, kissing him softly.
“Fuck me, Andrew. Fuck me hard and come with me.”
Her wild eyes told him she was close to coming. He let go of all restraint and plunged so deep inside her pussy, they both cried out in pleasure. She was so tight, so wet, like a fist clamped around his cock, milking him as her pussy tightened and relaxed and flexed again. He inched back out slowly, and penetrated her again, sinking right to the root. His hands slid around to find her ass. He lifted her into him, tipping back her pelvis to go deeper inside.
He looked down at her soft, slight body beneath him. All he wanted to do was protect her, and love her. She let out a noisy breath and ground her hips into his crotch as he entered her again. Her hips twisted and tilted, moving in circles as his cock grew harder still inside her hot, tight wetness. He held her hips firmly again. He wanted to see her on top, to feel her ride him, to see her breasts sway and her eyes look down at him as he plunged into her.
He rolled and pulled her on top without slipping out. She sank down on his throbbing cock and rested one hand on his chest. She was close to the edge, and unafraid. Her other hand slid down to her clit, flicking it as she rocked on his member. Her body bucked and bounced as she moved, and he was closer to his orgasm. As soon as he met her wild movements with his own firm thrusts, she threw her head back and screamed. They came together, rocking through their crescendos, their voices connected as much as their bodies, his cock buried deep inside her as her walls rippled and flexed around his shaft.
She collapsed on top of him after she came, and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight without pulling out.
“I love you, Andrew,” she whispered after a few minutes. “Why did you leave me?”
He opened his eyes. No one was there. He jackknifed to a seated position and looked around the dark room of his cottage. He had been dreaming. He crashed back down into the bed.
Fuck. What have I done?