Caleb (18 page)

She
shook her head. He was a vampire and a scientist. Some things he ought to just
get without being told. “You do realize they’re on the bottom of the food
chain, and you’re only saving their lives so something else can have a midnight
snack later, right?”

He
stood. “That doesn’t mean they don’t have worth.”

No it
didn’t. “I guess I’m just surprised to hear you say that.”

“Why?
Because I’m a vampire?”

“Frankly,
yes.”

He
shrugged. “That wasn’t my doing.”

“It
wasn’t mine either.”

He
cut her a knowing glance. “But we all have to learn to live with it.”

Yes.
They did. The little pile heaved and emitted high-pitched squeaks. She motioned
to the mice. “Will they live?”

“I
don’t know, but at least they’ve got a shot.”

“That’s
better than nothing.”

“Yes.”
He paused. “Whenever the anger at what’s been done to you rides you hard and you
feel like lashing out, you might want to remember that you got a chance, too.”

Did
everyone know about the fight she’d had with Caleb before he left? She wrapped
her arms across her chest. “It’s not the same.”

“The
hell it’s not.”

“Okay.
Maybe it’s that it’s not that easy then.”

“Lady,
nothing ever is.” He jerked his chin in the direction of the stove. “The weres
have a woodstove in their compound. I’ll see if they have any piping for that
flue.”

“Thank
you.”

“You
can install it, but don’t light it until we have the chimney checked out.”

Did
he think she was a total idiot? “I wasn’t going to.”

“Caleb
will be reassured to hear it.”

“He
knows I’m working on the stove?”

“The
whole place does. That paint stinks to high heaven.”

“Oh.”
Duh! “I guess he doesn’t mind.”

“Why
should he?”

“I
don’t know.”

“He
wants you to be happy, Allie.”

“I
know.” She just wasn’t sure she could give him that, trapped as she was in a
life-form that didn’t agree with her, that didn’t work the way it should. “I’m
just not that good at adjusting.”

“Let
him help you.”

She
rubbed her hands up and down her arms as the familiar pain began again. She was
going to need blood soon. Again. Instead of spacing farther apart, her need to
feed was happening sooner. “That’s another thing I’m not good at.”

“What?”

“Being
helpless.”

This
time the aura that surrounded him was one of strength and—she checked her inner
radar—wisdom? “Sometimes you just have to accept what is, before you can move
on.”

ACCEPT
what is. Allie lay on the floor in the kitchen, battling the crippling pain.
How in hell was she supposed to accept this? Cold seared deeper than the fires
of hell could hope to burn. And where the hell was Caleb?

I’m
coming.

Faster.
The mental retort shot out before she could contain
it.

Hold
on, baby.

The
guilt in his mental path made her feel like an ass. Caleb was downright
neurotic about keeping her happy. If he was delayed it wasn’t by choice.
I’m
sorry, this damned pain is making me into a bitch
.

You
can apologize to me later.

How
sick was it that even with her current level of distress, her body perked at
the thought of making it up to Caleb.

Not
sick at all.

The
laugh shot out of her misery.
You would think that
.

Another
pain slammed her head into her knees. She bit her lip through the spasm, trying
to block the knowledge from Caleb of how bad it was. It was useless. He was in
her head, too far away to take over, but there, sharing as best he could,
mentally holding her hand. She clung to his presence, the sense of strength,
riding it as the next wave swelled and swelled but never peaked, just sent the
world into a realm of terrifying black.

She
hated it here, this place created by agony where delusion reigned and she heard
voices without faces, without words. Just voices, beckoning her to take the
step over the invisible ledge she could sense but not feel, encouraging her to
take the plunge. Every instinct said to step away, get back, but she couldn’t.
Not this time. She didn’t have the strength. This time she kept falling deeper
into the subconscious well, deeper into the cacophony. Deeper into hell.

“Come
here, Allie girl.”

The
whisper slid between her and disaster. Caleb. The voices screamed a protest.
She shook her head against the utter desolation of their plea. She couldn’t
help them.

“I’ve
got you, baby.” Another whisper, more welcome than the first. She leapt for the
reassurance with everything she had, backing away from the ledge, away from
that one cultured voice that rose above the rest, almost hypnotic in its
rhythm.

Stay
. . .

No.
She wouldn’t. Allie fought her way out of the void, struggling to get to the
light that was Caleb, dragging herself up the trailing edges of his energy,
feeling the pull of the void like a massive weight clinging to her legs. She
fought harder, desperation lending her additional strength. She didn’t want to
be one of them. She didn’t.

“Don’t
want to be one of whom?”

Oh
God, was that Caleb’s voice or was she imagining it? Was he finally here?

“I’m
here.” Firm hands on her shoulders confirmed the words filtering out of the
dark. Normal dark. The kind that came from having your eyes closed.

“I’m
not dreaming anymore, am I?”

“No.”
The broad support of his palm cupping her skull was welcome. “Feed, baby.”

She
was moving toward him before he even finished the sentence, awareness flooding
her with his scent, the steady comfort of his heartbeat, the whisper of his
life-giving blood flowing through his veins. Pressure from his pinky tipped her
head to the right angle. Her mouth shaped to the firmness of his pectoral,
letting the curve spread her lips as he pressed, taking his flesh into her
mouth. She kissed him once. Twice. The third time inching higher, her muscles
gathering for the push that would get her what she wanted. His artery. His free
hand opened over her shoulder, pressing down.

“No.”

The
ravenous hunger moaned a protest, but surrendered to the learned knowledge that
she couldn’t win against his strength. She accepted his lead, rubbing her lips
across his chest until she found the rhythm of his pulse, biting deep into the
flesh above it, wanting it to be part of her.

“There
you go. I’ve got what you need.”

He
did. Only he did. No other could satisfy the demands of her body. No other was
right. The rich, unique taste of his blood spilled across her tongue. She held
it there for a moment, not swallowing, letting the rightness of it, the bliss,
settle the wildness before she drank.

He
continued stroking her hair, adding calm to the hunger. “I’ll always have what
you need.”

She
waited until she could bear to part from him before asking, “Why?”

His
hand rubbed her back as she stroked her tongue over his wound, closing it. “Why
is it like this?”

His
touch gentled as he pulled her up, ready for the second hunger that took her as
hard as the first. “I don’t know,” he whispered, his face lowering to hers,
“but we’re handling it, so it’s all right.”

Yes
the voice whispered up from her soul. They were. This
was right. Caleb’s blood in her veins. Caleb’s mouth joined to hers, this was
what she needed. But more. She twisted in his arms, yanking off her shirt,
reaching for her pants only to find his hands already there. With a growl, he
sliced them from her body. For a split second his hands left her and then his
cock was there, as feral and ready as the rest of him as it slapped against her
inner thigh.

She
dropped her head back and closed her eyes at his heat, his strength. With an
equal ferocity, she grabbed his shoulders and straddled his hips. She needed
him in her. Needed him to come, to seal the bond between them, needed it with
every fiber of her being. His palms caught her hips, preventing her descent.
This time the snarl was hers.

“You
can bare those pretty little fangs at me all you want, but we’re slowing down.”

“No.”
She opened her eyes. His features were so clear to her in the night, chiseled
in planes of white, hollowed in valleys of black, the swirling glow of his eyes
an incandescent statement of power. And she wanted it. Now. “Make love to me,
Caleb.”

“I’m
working on it.”

“Now.”

“You’re
too soft for fast.” He began a slow entry, one that teased her with the
agonizing, promised stretch. She bent her knees, trying to force a faster
union. He shook his head, his gaze holding hers as he steadily gave her what
she craved. “I don’t want you to tear.”

She
struggled with his restraint. “I don’t care. I’m a vampire, I’ll heal.”

His
“I care” was as resolute as his expression as he set the pace for the joining.
“Damn, you feel so good, Allie girl.”

He
was in her, the broad head snuggling just inside the opening. A bit of the
crazy wildness subsided with the knowledge, but not the need. “I need you to
come.”

“I’m
working on it.”

“Now.”
Oh God, why did she feel like this?

He
lowered her as if she were the most fragile of treasures, as if she were
breakable rather than immortal, letting her have more of what she wanted,
answering her mental question. “I don’t know, but I like it.”

“I’m
really beginning to hate that expression.” And she was beginning to think the
Johnson brothers didn’t know a lot of things they should about being vampires.

The
tension in his face spread to his drawl, roughening it. “I wish I had better
answers. I’m asking Slade to look into it.”

Another
inch. Her body fluttered around his. His curse was music to her ears. As she
looked up, she saw something primitive flash through his eyes

“You
feel it, too.”

He
didn’t answer directly, just dug his fingers into her buttocks and held her
still while he teased her with sharp pulses of his hips, driving her wild.

“Caleb!”

“I’ve
got you.”

She
knew that. “Damn it, I won’t break.”

“You
feel damn fragile to me.” This time he gave her more— harder, a little deeper
bringing an ecstatic gasp to her lips. Oh yes, that’s what she wanted.

“Fragile
and hot and wet.”

She
dug her nails into his shoulders, rubbing her breasts against his hair-rough
chest, the sharp stab of pleasure making her clench around him. “You forgot
eager.”

The
next clench was deliberate. His moan was not. She flexed her internal muscles
again, coaxing him to the pace she wanted. Leaning in, she raised herself up
until he barely breached her, teasing them both with the implication of what
could come next, should come next. She whispered in his ear, “Very, very eager
and if you don’t come for me soon, I’ll scream.”

Against
her, his big body shuddered. “Careful with that tempting, Allie girl. You have
no idea how close I am to giving you what you’re begging for.”

Actually,
she did. Streams of energy were pouring from him, leaking past his control, and
along with them came random images of his desire. The one she liked best was
where he had her on her back, her ankles over his shoulders, helpless before
his desire, taking her as he wanted because she had no choice. Oh yeah, that
had real possibilities.

She
caught the image, focused it, and sent it back, knowing she succeeded by his
harshly indrawn breath and the sudden stillness of his body. Beneath her
fingers his muscles knotted. “Give me that, Caleb. That’s what I want.”

As if
her whisper were what his demon was waiting for, he went animalistic. With a
curse that sounded more like a plea, he flipped her. She braced herself for the
impact with the floor, but his hand was there, cushioning her while he moved up
between her thighs. His shaft prodded her intimately while his grip shifted.
She lifted her rear, facilitating his efforts. Her reward was another of those
curses that went through her in a shiver, and the erotic stretching of the
tendons in the back of her knees as he hooked her ankles over his broad
shoulders. He braced his hands on either side of her chest. His expression was
a mix of desperation and lust as his gaze met hers. “Stop me.”

She
shook her head. “Not a chance. I want you like this.” Bracing her hand over
his, she held on. “Wild and mine.”

“Then
take me.” He drove into her with merciless force, spearing deep, riding her
shock and bliss to the core of her being where the rejoicing howl swelled,
“Yes!”