Authors: Cynthia Woolf
He kept up with the rhythm she set, following her stroke for stroke. Then he reached down and touched her and she exploded, shattered. He followed her with his own climax. Waves of pleasure rolled off her and she collapsed onto his chest. Spent.
John wrapped his arms around her and turned them so they were on their sides. He didn’t leave her and she was glad. She liked for him to fill her. It was at times like this that she really felt they were two halves of one person. It was the only time she truly felt whole.
“John?”
His eyes were closed.
“Don’t fall asleep on me yet.”
“Alright.” He opened his green eyes and she watched them darken in anticipation of round two. “What do you need?”
“We’ve been affecting everyone, including the girls. We can’t do that. When we fight we have to keep it to this room.”
“Agreed. I don’t like to fight with you.”
“Nor I you. We have to make a promise to communicate better with each other.”
“I promise I will try to understand you. To see things from your perspective if you will try to see them from mine.”
“I promise to do the same. And I promise to spell out everything and not assume you can read my mind.”
“Me, too.”
“All that being said, do you have any questions for me?”
“Yes. What was your life like before you came here?
“We had a good life thanks to Aunt Gertrude. My parents threw me out as soon as they found out I was pregnant. I went to Aunt Gertrude, my great aunt actually. She was my father’s aunt though she was only two years older than he was. One look at me in my pitiful state on her door step and she let me in and I stayed. She helped me raise MaryAnn. That’s why she’s such a little adult instead of a child. I don’t think she’s ever had anyone to play with. Oh, Aunt Gertrude and I did our best but it wasn’t enough.”
“She has Katy now. Mrs. Selby was right about that. They are the best of friends.”
“Yes, she was right wasn’t she?”
“I don’t like fighting with you, but I sure like the making up part.”
She smiled at him. “Me, too.”
“We didn’t hurt the baby did we?”
“No. The baby is just fine.”
He cuddled her closer. “Good.”
“John, I’d like to talk about something. I did some thinking while we weren’t speaking and when I thought you were going to throw me out.”
“I never, never will throw you out.”
“I’m glad. I don’t want to go anywhere. I was going to open a bakery in Golden City if you did. I have that money that Aunt Gertrude left me and I’d already figured that MaryAnn and I could live above the bakery. MaryAnn and Katy would still be able to see each other that way. I wouldn’t take the girls away from each other if I can help it.”
He’d been caressing her hip and thigh, rubbing up and down while she spoke. “You don’t need to open a bakery or go anywhere. I don’t want you to leave and will never throw you out. No matter how mad we get at each other, we are married for life. I take my vow seriously.”
His hand moved to her back and he rubbed it starting in small circles and getting larger.
“I do, too. But it is important to me to know that I can take care of MaryAnn and me if I need to.”
He nodded and kissed her chin. “I can understand, coming from your background, that you would need that sense of security. I’ll do whatever I need to in order for you to feel secure.”
“Thank you.” She caressed his face. “We should sleep now.”
“Yes, we should.”
She felt him stir against her.
“We can sleep later.” She said, rolling them until she was on her back. “Much later.”
* * *
Sarah made biscuits. Rolled out the dough, cut it and hummed all the while.
“Well, someone is happier today,” said Bertha.
“Yes. You don’t have to worry anymore. We had a good long talk last night.”
“Good. The girls will be glad to hear it.”
“We’ll talk to them this morning.”
“As you should. What do you want me to do first this morning? Chickens or cows?”
“Gather the eggs, please and then milk the cows. I’ll finish these and get some pancake batter started.”
Bertha left to do her morning chores and Sarah started her batter. When Bertha returned with the eggs and milk for the day, Sarah kept the eggs she’d need for her baking and scrambled the rest with bits of sausage in them. Today they’d make butter. They were down to their last bowl and she needed that for the pancakes. She’d made some syrup from a jar of the blueberries she’d found down in the cellar, to serve with them.
Finally all the food was ready and she beat the triangle to call the men. Sarah had almost all the food on the table by the time everyone was seated at it and eating. She saw that they needed more biscuits and got up to get them. When she picked them up off the counter, she glanced out the window above the sink and saw smoke.
“Smoke! It looks like the barn is on fire.”
“Let’s go men. Sarah you and Bertha stay here with the girls. I’m sure it’ll be fine but I don’t want to have to worry about you.”
“We’ll be fine. Just go stop that before it spreads.” She gave him a quick kiss. “Be safe.”
He caressed her cheek. “I will.”
He ran out the door to join the other men and fight the fire. Sarah sent Bertha with the girls upstairs and she began to put the food away to stay warm so the men could eat when they were done or when they got a break.
“Well, isn’t this just the picture of domesticity?”
Sara swung around. “William. What are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave.”
“You did but you don’t seem to understand. I can’t leave until you go with me.”
“Are you crazy? I’m not going with you. My home is here. With John and the girls.”
“Girls? You have another one besides MaryAnn? Well good for MaryAnn. It’s better if she doesn’t come anyway, being a bastard and all. We can start over.”
Sarah backed up to the sink and reached behind her till she touched the knife she’d used on the sausage that morning. She gripped it and brought it around and brandished it in front of her. “You started the fire didn’t you? You get out of here William before you and I both do something we’ll regret.”
He laughed. “Do you expect me to be afraid of a kitchen knife? Don’t be silly my dear. I came prepared.” He pulled a derringer from his pocket and pointed it at her.
The knife clattered to the floor.
“Wise choice. Actually I didn’t start the fire. Some of my associates did. I can tell I may have some problems with you understanding that you have
no
choice here. You are coming with me. I’m going to take you back to New York. We’re going to marry and be happy. Do you understand?”
Sarah didn’t answer, unable to comprehend what he was telling her.
“Answer me, Sarah. Or I’ll have to go get MaryAnn and have her come with us so that I’ll have someone to hurt if you don’t cooperate.”
“You wouldn’t. Even you can’t be that evil.”
He laughed again. “I thought you just called me crazy. If that’s the case you shouldn’t be surprised by anything that I do.”
“Why William? You know that I’ll never love you, that as of now I loathe you.”
“You are all I’ve ever wanted. Since the first time I laid eyes on you I wanted you. I was sure that when Mother died you would turn to me. Instead you sign up to be a mail order bride of all things. That was a move I didn’t anticipate.”
“It was either that or prostitution. Even prostitution is preferable to you.”
“You are not going to anger me. I know that’s what you want. You want to make me angry hoping I’ll make a mistake, but I won’t. Now come with me Sarah. If you don’t, I will hurt MaryAnn. I don’t want to but you will give me no choice.”
Sarah moved toward him knowing that for now she was out of choices. He moved to the side of the door and let her go before him.
“I’ve parked the buggy on the other side of that small shed with the chickens in it.”
“It’s called a chicken coop. You brought a buggy?” She shook her head. “You didn’t bring just a horse but a buggy. Don’t you realize that John will come after you?”
“Why? He can just get another woman the way he got you. Mail for one.” He laughed as his cruel remark.
“I don’t know how many ways I can say it, you’re insane William, totally insane.”
They walked slowly to the chicken coop. Sarah still had hope that John would come.
“What makes you think this man will come after you? Surely you don’t think he’s fallen in love with you. After such a short time? No, don’t be ridiculous. Ah, I understand now. You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“But you have. You can’t even look at me and deny it.”
“So what if I have? I’m allowed some happiness. I’ve been punished for long enough.”
“You will never be punished enough. To let them lie with you…first that Lee, MaryAnn’s father and now this man. You would never let me. As much as I loved you and was kind to you, you never even thought about me, did you?”
Sarah walked slowly, as slow as she could without seeming to. If John or someone saw the buggy or saw him come into the house, then she might have a chance. Otherwise she was going to have to go with him until they caught up but how long would that be and would John come after her at all?
The small voice inside of her that kept her down, said he wouldn’t come. He didn’t love her, he’d be well rid of her. But what of MaryAnn? John would keep her. She was good for Katy and he loved her. At least if she died, she knew MaryAnn would be safe.
The other voice in her said she was strong and wanted. She wasn’t the downtrodden woman that left New York. She had friends here and John may not love her yet, but he cared and he accepted her.
She stopped.
“What are you doing? Keep walking. The buggy is just around the corner.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no? You know what I’ll do? I will do it.” He started to turn away.
“No you won’t. I won’t let you hurt my family.”
“You bitch. All this trouble I’ve gone through for you and you decide now is the time to discover your backbone.”
“If you’re smart, William, you’ll take that buggy and leave. If John finds you before you get back to New York, you’re a dead man.”
She turned and saw John running toward her. William saw him too. He raised his gun to fire. Sarah didn’t think. She just moved in front of the bullet meant for the man she loved. It struck her in the left shoulder and she fell to the ground.
William looked at her with horror in his eyes. He turned, ran around the corner of the chicken coop to the buggy and took off. Then John was there beside her.
“Sarah, honey, are you all right? Sarah. Sarah.”
Strong arms picked her up and cuddled her against his broad chest. John. He’d come for her. She tried to speak. Everything was so hard and she hurt, God, she hurt. Why did it hurt so much?
“John, I didn’t let him take me. I didn’t go with him.”
“No you didn’t. I’m proud of you, Sarah. Sarah.”
Her head fell back. She was unconscious. That may be just as well. The bullet wound looked bad.
Bertha came running. “How is she?”
“Send one of the men for the doctor. If he’s not at his office, find him.”
John carried her inside and up the stairs to their room.
“Bertha, get some towels and put water on to boil. I’ve got to look at the wound and clean it.”
“You got it boss.” She hurried away.
“Sarah, I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I’m not going to let you go. Not now, not ever. I can’t lose you, too. I love you. Can you hear me? Sarah, I love you.”
She didn’t move.
John took his knife and cut her blouse off and then her chemise. He checked for a wound on her back and didn’t find one. The bullet was still in her.
Bertha came in with the towels. He got the pitcher and basin from on top of the commode. The water wasn’t hot but was better than nothing. He had to see the wound. After dipping one of the towels in the water, he wiped the blood away, cleaning it as best he could. The blood was slowing which was a good thing; at least she wasn’t going to bleed to death.
He didn’t know how deep the bullet went; just that it was still in there and needed to come out. The doc better get there soon.
Bertha helped him get her out of the rest of her clothes. He put her under the covers and tried to keep her warm waiting for the doctor. It had been about an hour since he’d sent the man for the doctor and they still weren’t back. The sound of hooves pounding hard up the drive took him to the window. His man was back but the doctor wasn’t with him.
The thunder of boots on the stairs stopped when his man, Ben, pushed open the door. “Boss, the doc wasn’t in. He’s up the canyon helpin’ with a birthin’. I left a message with his missus to send him out here as soon as he got back.”