Captivated by Your Love (The Blue Heart Series Book 2) (3 page)

“Abbee,” I said to her rather breathlessly. That kiss had taken it out of me. I had put every emotion I was feeling for this little firecracker into my lips, trying to possess hers.

“Jesus, Justice.” She wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “What are you doing to me? It’s like I can’t get enough of you.”

Fuck yeah. She couldn’t get enough of me because I couldn’t get enough of her. She was a little spitfire. Her blonde hair, the way it cascaded down her back and her clear blue eyes had me reeling. Not to mention she had a rocking body. Curves in all the right places and an ass that was so damn juicy I just wanted to sink my teeth into it. But what I loved about her most was her fiery spirit. She indeed was a firecracker. She didn’t put up with anyone’s shit, especially mine, and she was always trying to put me in my damn place. It was rather refreshing because at times I think I really needed it. My family was always on my shit for being too bossy and I couldn’t help it, it was my nature. My mother always said it was something about being a Leo, which was a fire sign. I was just Alpha, as Alpha as they come. Her putting me in my place made my dick get hard. I cast my eyes down to see my cock straining against my zipper. I wanted to sink into her wet folds and show her how good things could be if it were just the two of us. A sigh escaped my lips. She was the complete fucking package.

Since I had been coming over to my brother’s place, I had been around her a lot. I loved the way she was so caring toward everyone. It was obvious that she and Sydney shared a long history together and they were the closest of friends, much like me and my siblings. The thing I didn’t understand and I couldn’t get through my thick fucking head was why she was with such a loser. He was a loser with a capital “L.” Every time I had been around them he didn’t treat her the way she deserved to be treated. He treated her less than a lady deserved to be treated. I was controlling and possessive but he took it to an entirely different level. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

She needed to get away from that asshole. The sooner I got her away from him the happier I would be, she would be, and I think everyone in the world would be. Sydney and Damien made it no secret that they didn’t care for him. I was a good judge of character being a police officer and all, and there was just something eerie about him. I didn’t like it. Not a little bit. Not at all. I think when I get to the station I needed to pull up his record and see what I could find out about this asshole. There was something there, I could feel it deep in my bones. Just like I felt the connection with Abbee. I had never felt anything like it with any other woman before. We had hit it off from the moment we met and I was crazy about her from day one. Although we fought, we also got along so well, there was just a chemistry between us that couldn’t be denied.

Abbee was a beautiful name. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to go by it. I was a man of my own terms and I certainly was going to call her what I liked, which was Abbee. It suited the little firecracker. I’ll be damned if I was going to call her Bee. Yes, maybe she was like a little bee, swarming around waiting to sting you, but she was none other than my Abbee. Mine. Like she told me she was last night. I saw it in her eyes when I had myself buried balls deep inside her. The look she gave me was not one I will soon wash from my memory. It was a look that told me everything and when she said “I’m yours, Justice” I knew that it was real.

I didn’t get why she couldn’t just admit it this morning. Yes, we had a lot to drink and it may have clouded some of our judgment last night. Like, what the fuck was I ever thinking letting Reeve be a part of our little union. I definitely had a screw fucking lose, like ready to fall out of my head. I don’t share ever. The alcohol had obviously caused me to waiver. But there was no mistake, she said she was mine and she meant it.

“Baby.” I took her hand and brought it away from her heart. “You have the same affect on me.” She affected me like no other woman had before. She fucking amazed me. Everything about her, I was completely and utterly captivated by this woman.

“The thing is…” She drifted off and then looked at me with hopeful eyes. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.” I knew exactly what we were doing. We were drawn to one another. What happened between us was natural.

There had been a build up over time. It was the secret smiles she had given me when I was over at the house. Or when she was attentive getting me another beer before I asked or the nights when we would play spades and I was her partner. We just clicked, gelled, we were the perfect fit and after last night I wasn’t going to let her go. Not now.

Especially to that asshole.

But it wasn’t just that. She had one hell of a competitive streak. When we would play cards, she would get so mad if we lost a hand, especially if it were my fault. I would never admit to it being my fault and then she would get even pissier with me. It was cute as hell and sometimes I would do that shit on purpose just to see the fire light the firecracker. Maybe it was wrong of me but I enjoyed getting her all worked up. Her little brow would crease and her cheeks would warm up to a nice rosy pink. She was absolutely stunning when she was mad. So I pushed her limits on more than one occasion. My favorite is when she would get on her tiptoes and get in my face. All over a deck of cards; it was funny. I often found myself mesmerized by her when she was holding my niece. Her warm smiles and feather soft kisses that she would place on the baby stole my resolve. In those moments, I knew I wanted so much more than just a good time between the sheets.

“Why don’t you break things off with that asshole and give this.” I motioned between the two of us. “A chance.”

She stepped away from me and ran her hand through her hair and then knitted her upper brow. She looked so confused and so beat down at the same time. “Don’t you see? I made a commitment to move in with him. This can’t happen. I’m going to be with him. I have time invested in our relationship. I don’t just give up on things. I’m a fighter. I see things through,” she spit out. And by all means, she was a fighter.

“How can you say that after last night?” I knew that was a stretch. We had had a threesome for God’s sake, but like I had pointed out, we did share those special moments when I felt like we were the only two people in the room. I wanted to have that with her now. I wanted to explore her body when it was just her and I. I wanted to memorize each line, each curve of her body. I wanted to see the light in her eyes shine when she had an orgasm, but most of all I just wanted to hold her. To make her mine.

“Babe. Let’s get this straight. Last night was about gratification. It was about having a good time. It wasn’t meaningful. It was a threesome. How...” She waved her hand in the air. “How could you see it as anything more than that?”

Damn that stung. Like really stung. I felt my chest tighten at her words. But point taken. There were three of us and the level of intimacy that I wanted to share, that we could share, just wasn’t there. I needed more time. I needed time to prove to her that I could be the man that she needed. It was there, we just needed to explore it. I was a good man and I knew I had a lot to offer her. We had danced around this flirtation long enough. It was time for her to give me the chance that I knew I wanted and deserved. I took in a deep cleansing breath.

“I get it. A threesome doesn’t exactly lend itself to pure intimacy between two people.” I was going to take a chance putting myself out there, but what the hell. “Give me a chance. Let me prove to you that you don’t want to be anywhere else or be with anyone else other than me.”

Her eyes rounded with a look of surprise and shock; she sucked that delicious bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it as if in deep contemplation. She then lowered her eyes to the floor as if searching for the right answer. I had the right answer, she just needed to listen to the words that were coming from my mouth. When she brought her eyes back up to mine I saw pain in them. I saw a girl who was struggling with a decision that she had made and wanting something entirely different. “I can’t,” she said softly. “I can’t.” And then I saw it; a tear escaped the corner of her eye and fell down her cheek, dropping to the floor.

Closing the distance between us I moved to her, brought my arms around her and then settled her face on my chest. She didn’t hesitate to meet my embrace. She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight. I didn’t know if she was telling me goodbye. I hoped like hell it wasn’t. I was going to make sure that come hell or high water that I was there at every turn. She wasn’t going to get rid of me easily, that was for sure. She could spit venom at me and I wouldn’t care. I would just laugh at her under my breath and wait for the storm to pass. And that would be one hell of a storm. Like I said, she was a fiery little thing. Small and mighty. My mom always said good things came in small packages. I never understood that before but now I knew.

“Abbee, listen to me and listen to me good.” I brought my lips to the top of her head and pressed a kiss into her. “I’m not going to give up. You may decide that for some unforeseen reason that you can’t let Jensen go. But I’m here to tell you, eventually I will wear you down. And when I wear you down I will be the only man left standing and the only person’s arms you want to be in.”

She pulled away and I saw it. The sad desperate Abbee was gone, replaced by the firecracker. “First of all, the name is Bee!! I’m not sure how many times I need to tell you that for you to understand. B-E-E.” She punctuated every letter. “And this, us, this fantasy you have about me being yours is over. Not going to happen. Done. We had a night. A night I will never forget. But that is it. That is all it will ever be.” She pulled away from me and walked across the room and started pulling off her bed sheets. Damn, she was sad one moment and then completely flipped like a switch had been turned on the next moment. Maybe she was PMS’ing. Yeah, I would just chalk it up to hormones. My little sister was a bitch to be around when she was going through that shit so I knew what it was like to be around women.

I walked over to the other side and started helping her. She paused and looked at me. “What are you doing, Justice?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m helping you out.” She continued to mangle the sheets as she took them off in her fury. She was completely hell bent and wound up at the momen.t I could see it spread across her face in her features. They were hard, not soft like I craved. But the thing was, I didn’t think she was really mad at me. Maybe more with herself.

I could understand being in her situation. Never in my life had I cheated on a girl but I would think it would be really hard to bear. I was loyal to a fault. If I was devoted to you then I would never stray. She had committed the worse type of betrayal. I had to wonder if I could trust her myself. That would be something that I would have to really think about. Sure I wanted her and I’d be damned if she was going to be anyone else’s, but I would have to look past the fact that she cheated to be with me and Reeve of course.

I had a few demons in my past with women. Women who had hurt me. I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of betrayal and I didn’t like it one bit. In some ways I felt bad for that asshole Jensen. Most likely he wasn’t faithful to her a day in his life but still, no one deserved to be cheated on even if she was the girl of my dreams. See there, I admitted she was the girl of my dreams. Lying awake at night or when I’m jacking myself off in the hot steamy shower it’s her I think about. I imagine it’s her full plump rosy lips working their way around my cock. Yup, pretty fucked up but I’m a man, I can’t help that shit. That is how we think. Sometimes I have thought with my little head in situations but I really needed to think with the one that was on top of my body. Only time would tell if I would be able to work past this. Right now I’d give anything to have her be mine, not caring a thing in the world about what she had done or who she had been with. I wanted her. I wanted her so fucking bad.

“Well, I don’t need your help.” She stepped away taking the sheets with her and then set them on the floor. She got down on her knees like a dog and I had to wonder what the hell she was doing. I walked over to her side of the bed and watched her as she looked under the bed and all around on the floor. She tipped over the trash can that was sitting next to her bed and sifted through the contents and then continued to hunt. I had no earthly idea what the hell she was doing but she looked fucking hot on all fours. I wanted to settle myself on the floor and slide my cock into her tight heat. Thoughts of her bucking that ass against my cock, her mouth slightly parted with uneven breaths flowing from her lungs had my dick at attention.

“Where did you put them?” She scurried around on the floor some more. It was like she was on a mission to find something but I didn’t know what the hell she was looking for. I was fucking clueless.

“Where did I put what? You need to communicate with me here, Abbee.” Did she lose an earring or something? I would help her out if I knew what I needed to look for.

“For all that is holy the name is BEE!!!! And where did you put the damn condom wrappers?”

I scratched my head and then ran a hand through my mussed hair.

“What condom wrappers?” I asked, a bit puzzled.

“What the hell do you mean ‘what condom wrapper’?” He couldn’t have been that drunk last night that he didn’t remember suiting up his cock. And boy was it fine. Full girth and long, it was delicious and the thought of it made my mouth water a little bit. My thoughts trailed back to last night and him pushing his way inside of me. The look on his face was one that I couldn’t decipher. It was obvious that I had meant something more to him. More than just an easy lay. After the sex, he went to the bathroom and came back and cleaned me up. But his eyes never wavered; they held mine. He was so expressive and I wanted to take those moments and bottle them up so I could keep them for a lifetime. What the hell? I was losing focus here. I continued to hunt around the floor for the evidence. He wasn’t on the other side of the bed but I made my way over there anyway looking everywhere I could. My eyes did a full scan of the room from top to bottom but I came up empty.

“Justice, so help me God, are you playing games with me? Because let me tell you.” I stood up “I’m not in the mood.” I gave him a cross look and he just stared at me with a slight smirk on his face and a look that I couldn’t quite decipher. It was like he got his hand caught in the cookie jar when he thought his mom wasn’t looking.

“Well.” He ran a hand over his face, washing away the smirk that was there, leaving him looking rather serious at the moment. I just stared at him for answers.

“Well what? You are really starting to piss me off. If you would just tell me where you put them then we could be finished with this charade.” I needed a hot shower and I was starving. I could smell the cooking from downstairs and it smelled delicious.

“I’m gonna give it to you straight. I didn’t use a condom. Not once, not twice.” He just looked at me and then one side of his mouth lifted.

“Seriously? Are you fucking serious, Justice?” How could I have been so clueless to not realize he wasn’t sheathed last night? I should have known but I was so caught up in the moment and at the time Reeve was distracting me with his tongue doing all sorts of naughty things to my body. What had I done? Then it hit me. “No. No. No. This can’t be happening. You could have knocked me up, damn you.” I walked over to him and started beating my hands on his chest. He just stood there rock solid, not wavering and taking my small but mighty hits. “How could you? Don’t answer that. I know how you could.”

“Baby, calm down. We’ll work through this. What’s the worst that could happen? You could have my baby. I fucking love kids.” His smirk grew wider and the skin around his eyes slightly wrinkled.

“I don’t want a kid right now. In case you have missed the entire conversation, I have a boyfriend and you are not him.” Fuck, how was I ever going to explain this? If I were knocked up.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

“I asked you if you were on the pill and you moaned your consent. I thought you had contraception covered. Clearly I was wrong.”

I was just frozen there ,so lost in my head thinking about this clusterfuck that I had gotten myself into. My hands were still pressed against his chest but he had started rubbing the tops of them with this thumbs, no doubt trying to soothe me. It was going to take a lot more than a thumb rub. My stomach was a hot mess and I felt like I could throw up at any second and I’m sure all the color in my entire body had drained. Gone, vanished, bye-bye. I was like a statue just frozen there. How was I going to explain this to Jensen? Poor Jensen he didn’t deserve this. I started doing the math in my head trying to figure out if I was ovulating and sure enough, I was quite certain I was.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Pulling my head back in the game, I felt a flush creep up into my cheeks and radiated with heat. I was shocked, pissed, and sick all at the same time. “Yes, clearly how could you think it was okay not to wear a condom? Those experiences are meant for boyfriend and girlfriends who have been involved for a while. I won’t even get on the pill for Jensen. This is just so messed up.”

“Abbee, calm down, we’re in this together. Do you think I’m going to let you go through this alone? You’ve got me. Fucking all of me.” He rubbed a stray tear away from my cheek. His words were sweet but I wasn’t in the position to have a baby, especially with someone that wasn’t my boyfriend. And thinking about it, I didn’t want to have a baby with my boyfriend either. Not now, not ever. That was a sign, a big fucking sign. If I were with the right guy of course I would want to have a baby with them. But not with Jensen.

I took a few calming breaths trying to gain my composure and stepped back away from him. When I was too close to him I didn’t think straight. I was like Icarus to the sun when it came to him, a moth to the flame. I was drawn to him and he muddied my brain, he was so damn distracting.

Think.

Think.

Think.

“Okay so here is how it’s going to be. This––” I waved my hand in front of him–– “Never happened. If I’m pregnant then well I’ll just…” How could I even think that, let alone spill those words from my mouth? I loved kids. Like, really loved them. I was a pediatric nurse at the hospital and worked with them daily. I wanted a big family. I wasn’t ready to start one yet but I did want children. But I would never give up a child or for goodness sakes have an abortion. It would go against every fiber of who I am.

“The hell you will. If you are pregnant then you are certainly not getting an abortion, over my dead body.” He spit out his words. Now I had gone and pissed him off as well. Great, we were going to go at it; I just knew it. The thing was I didn’t know if we were going to fuck or fight. We were so damn drawn to one another and when he poked at me I got all worked up and hot and bothered at the same time.

“Well, I have the right to choose, Justice.” I placed my hands on my hips and pushed my chest out, showing that I was ready for this fight. I knew I was just poking the bear and deep down an abortion was the furthest from my mind.

“So help me God if you even think of doing that, woman, I don’t know what I would do. Not gonna happen, never. Abbee, if I planted a baby inside of you last night we are raising it. Together. There will be no more Jensen. You will not be living in this house. You will be with me in my home with me and my son, Camden.” He seethed.

Damn he was a bossy ass man. Testosterone much. I knew he had a temper but I could have sworn I thought I saw smoke come out of his ears and his pupils turn a crimson red. I wouldn’t say I smiled but I completely lost my defense in that moment. We had been skirting around this attraction for so long. We were like peanut butter and jelly, we just went together. I truly was fooling myself with Jensen. Now I definitely couldn’t move in with him or at least I needed to stall.

I put back on my imaginary mask and secured it tightly around my face. “Well, no thanks to you, I can’t move in with Jensen now. How am I ever going to explain to him that I may be pregnant or am pregnant? He will lose his marbles. Like completely flip his shit on me.” I sucked my lip between my teeth and started chewing on it. Just thinking about it had brought my eyes to the ground. I really didn’t want him to get angry with me. He scared me.

“No, you most definitely are not moving in with Jensen. And if you are carrying my child I will take care of him. You just need to worry about you and our baby and leave the rest to me. I got it all under control.” He was so confident in his words when I knew that Jensen wouldn’t go down without a fight and blood being spilled. I didn’t know whose blood that would be. My lip trembled just thinking about it.

He was so sweet wanting to take care of me. His bossiness had its positives. But this was all so messed up. “Don’t you see just what a mess this is? Am I the only one that thinks this situation is beyond insane?” I shook my head back and forth. How could I have been so foolish to have let this happen? I had a boyfriend and I had cheated on him and I’m pretty sure he knocked me up. It would be a stroke of luck if he hadn’t. I just knew it down to my bones that he had. “I guess one positive is that I didn’t fuck Reeve.”

He looked at me like I had just shot him in the chest. “First of all, quit calling it fucking. Second, like hell I was going to share you with him. You are mine. The sooner you can remember telling me that, the better off we will be.”

I blew out an exasperated breath and stood up on my tip toes. I felt my face flush and my ears get hot. “For the last time I’m not yours. I have a boyfriend!”

“Right and I’m Mary Poppins. Mine. I’m not letting this rest until you admit it.” He just stared at me with a look of confidence.

“Well then you are going to be here all day because I’m not admitting it. Not now. Not ever. Not happening.” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down.

He ate up the distance between us, pulled me into his arms and smashed his lips to mine. It was a soul-searing kiss. One that you see in the movies or famous pictures where the girl has her leg lifted up behind her. And I did just that as he deepened the kiss and his tongue plunged into my mouth, stealing my breath and my resolve.

He broke the kiss with me still in his arms, staring up at him like he was the master of my universe. Yeah, I was his. But to what extent was I his? Gah! What was I saying? I had a boyfriend. This couldn’t be happening.

Jensen.

Jensen.

Jensen.

I needed to focus on Jensen and the relationship I had built. I didn’t think I deserved a guy as good as Justice. Yeah I might be a good person, but he was far better than I was. Look how badly I had cheated on my boyfriend last night. Not with just one guy but with two.

He looked at me through his penetrating blue orbs. “Now do you remember?”

“I’m going to hell anyways so what the hell? Yes, I remember. But I don’t think I meant it.” I totally told him a bold faced lie.

He brought his lips down to mine again and my tongue curled around his as my arms pressed firmly into his back hanging on for dear life. He was like my lifeline to a better life. A life that maybe just wasn’t about me anymore. I needed to think straight here. He broke the kiss again and looked at me. Pressing for answers, ones that I didn’t want to admit to him.

“Will you quit looking at me like that?” The way his eyes pierced into mine was intense. I just wanted to get down on my knees in front of him and tell him “yes, master, I submit.”

“How am I looking at you, darlin’?” He just stood there and waited for me to answer. I had to think carefully as to what I wanted to say.

“It’s like you see me on a totally different level than anyone has ever before. I feel like I can’t tell you a lie and like I want to tell you every secret I’ve had. You’re the balm to my soul.” And he was so very much. I knew that we connected before but after last night our connection had intensified so much. Yes, Reeve was there with us and it was a highly sexually gratifying night, but there were moments when I felt like it was only Justice and me. The thing is if I could do it all over again I would only want it to be Justice.

“That’s because I do. Don’t you see that? You were meant for me. Mine, just say it. Mine. Admit that you feel that way towards me and mean it.” He gazed at me, reading my emotions because I was sure they were written all over my face.

I broke eye contact with him and looked to the floor. Then slightly whispered the words that were going to break my resolve. “I can’t. It was a mistake.” A single tear cascaded down my cheek and then another. I was a wound up ball of emotions.

Justice lifted my face to his and then started wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “Baby, why are you crying?”

Could I tell him why I was crying? That I was falling apart because I was stuck with Jensen and I secretly wanted to be with Justice. “This is just so hard for me. Can’t you see I really made a mess of things?” More tears fell. “Here you are this great guy. A bossy one I might add. And I ‘m just some stupid ho who cheated on her boyfriend. You deserve so much better.”

“Please stop talking like that.” He bent his head down and the scruff of his beard rubbed against my face. I would never forget how it felt. I wanted to memorize every moment and for the most part I had. He started kissing away my tears. If I thought my resolve had vanished before it was completely nowhere in this room. I was a total goner. “Just please tell me you meant what you said when you told me you were mine. Because, baby, there is nothing else in this world that I want to hear.”

“I can’t.” And with those words I disentangled myself and walked out of the room. Leaving a good man that I knew would treat me right. The thing is I believe now, more than ever, that I deserve to be with Jensen. He doesn’t treat me very well, I know this, but I never wanted to admit. I deserved him if he would still have me after what I had done to him. How was I ever going to face him?