Capture the Wind for Me (14 page)

Twelve years old.
Robert's age. I couldn't imagine it. Daddy said nothing. He must have been beyond words.

“I know what happened just before you graduated,” Katherine said softly, “your fall from grace. I heard the talk. But I didn't care what everyone was saying. Then I ran into you one day down at the IGA. You looked so forsaken, so sad. You could hardly hold your head up. I gathered my nerve and walked up to you. Do you remember this, Bobby?”

“I'm . . . not sure.”

“Oh, some thanks I get. You
should
remember; it got me grounded for a whole month, and with summer just beginning.”

“Wait. I do,” Daddy drew out the words, as if a vague memory had surfaced. “How could I forget? You reached out when everyone else was shunning me.”

“I did more than that. I swept aside every Bradleyville expectation of a young lady, especially given how young I was. I can see it now, Bobby; I must have gone over it in my mind a million times. You were standing before the rice section, staring stupidly at it, like your mother had sent you on an errand, but you couldn't remember what she wanted. At first sight of you, my heart nearly fell out my toes. Then I felt so bad, watching you. Somehow, I wanted you to see that not everyone in the entire town was against you. I didn't even notice old Mrs. Schwartzbocker coming around the corner. I marched right down the aisle and threw my arms around you. Stood on tiptoe and kissed you on the cheek. And I said, ‘I love you, Bobby.'” Katherine chuckled. “You were so shocked, you couldn't move. I mean, you barely even knew who I was. And then, dear God, I'll never forget this—a look of sheer terror crossed your face, and you shoved my hands away and stepped back, looking around like you were scared to death that someone had seen and you'd be blamed for it. I saw Mrs. Schwartzbocker then and realized what I'd done to you—that this was all you needed to turn the town on its other ear. I felt so horrified, I just ran. Left you standing there—alone with that woman.”

Disbelief weighted my limbs. I could not even begin to imagine what they were talking about. What could Daddy possibly have done to turn the whole town against him?

“It's all comin' back to me now,” Daddy said. “I guess I'd forgotten because of all the trouble in my life at the time.” He paused. “I have to admit somethin'. I can remember now Mrs. Schwartzbocker glarin' after you, hands on her hips. I remember how I shook when she turned her eyes on me. And then she declared very firmly, ‘It wasn't your fault, Bobby. I saw the whole thing.' I could have fainted with relief. Not very noble of me, after what you'd done.”

“She saw it all right. Took her all of about five minutes to call my mama. Probably didn't even stop to buy her groceries.”

Daddy laughed quietly. “Grounded a whole month, huh.”

“Oh, you don't know. Daddy liked to near kill me. Told me he'd better never catch me speaking to you again. So I didn't. And then you eventually got back with Melissa. I sat in my room crying the day you got married. Thought I'd go to hell for sure, liking a married man, but I couldn't help it.”

“Katherine. I never dreamed . . . I just had no idea.”

They were silent for a moment.

“So what does your father say now?” Daddy wondered. “How funny, after all these years, here you are—with me.”

“Well. You've grown up a bit. And changed your evil ways.”

“I see.”

“Bobby, the whole town loves you, and you know it. Everybody wants you to be happy. Which scares me to death. I feel it every day, the pressure. If I did anything to hurt you, I think I'd be run right out of this town.”

“You won't do anything. Will you?”

The vulnerability in his voice made me want to cry.

“No, please God!” Katherine's tone tinged with desperation, almost as if she were afraid she would. Later I would remember that tone. “Did you hear what I said, Bobby? That I've gone over that scene a million times? Not just while I grew up here in Bradleyville, but while I was gone. Through all the jobs and places and boyfriends, I never forgot you. Then I heard about Melissa. When the time was right, I came back. Thinking maybe . . . And then I could hardly believe it—the first person I saw in town was you. Protecting me with your arms underneath that desk. Do you know at that moment I wanted the tornado never to end?”

“Oh, Katherine.”

They spoke no more for a long time. I leaned my head against the wall and silently cried. I could not sort the tears of happiness and relief for Daddy from those that mourned my mama.

“Bobby,” Katherine finally spoke, “I need to tell you other things about me. But first I should explain something. When I told Jackie about Greg, I didn't stop to think about . . . you know, your old tie to Celia. And how you must have felt about Greg's brother.”

My hand stilled as I wiped a tear. Old tie to Celia?

Daddy emitted a sigh.

“I'm really sorry if I've done something wrong.”

“You didn't do anything wrong. That's ancient history. And I'm ashamed at myself for reacting the way I did.”

Katherine made no reply.

“It's just . . . . You were too young to know everything, Katherine. I do believe Celia and I would have ended up together if it hadn't been for Danny. Of course, now I'm glad things didn't turn out that way. But at the time, it near killed me. Even while I was dating Melissa, I went to Celia on my knees more than once, asking her to change her mind. But no. Even when Danny left, all she wanted to do was graduate and go after him.”

Something slick and oily rolled through my stomach. I could barely assimilate Daddy's words. When he'd dated Mama, who loved him so much, he'd really wanted her best friend?

“So, you're right. I didn't like Danny Cander. In fact, he was my enemy. When he was gone, his presence was still here, stealin' what I wanted. That's how strong he was, how magical he apparently was. And whatever he did from afar, Katherine, whatever he said, caused Celia to come to me that night. Not because she wanted me. But because she wanted revenge. Danny, hundreds of miles away, had the power to do that to her.”

Came to me that night
.
Fall from grace.
No. I shook my head, denying the words, what they must mean. No.

“Oh, Bobby, I'm sorry,” Katherine breathed. “I didn't know how it all happened.”

“No one would ever have known if I hadn't confessed to Melissa,” Daddy said almost to himself. “But I couldn't bear the guilt. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I hadn't thought about it in years. But see, all of a sudden, it's my daughter who's sixteen. And I hear that Danny's half brother is comin' to town. What's more, he's some singing star. And Jackie, my daughter, the jewel of my life, wants to meet him. I know I overreacted. Maybe I'm even carryin' old resentments I didn't know I still had, which is hardly the Christian thing to do. But the situation just . . . scared me. I can't stand to think of anything that could lead to Jackie bein' hurt. God knows she's been through enough already.”

“I know,” Katherine soothed. “Jackie's a special girl. I don't want her to be hurt either. But, if I could just say—I think this will be okay. Jessie says all she's heard about Greg is that he's a terrific kid. His parents are strong Christians, and he's been raised that way.”

“Uh-huh. Terrific kids can get into trouble, too.”

“Oh, Bobby.” Katherine sounded almost exasperated. “I do understand everything you've said, but—you really need to lighten up.”

Daddy managed a chuckle. “Probably. I have a feelin' you're goin' to help.”

Silence.

They were probably kissing again, but I could not think about that. Daddy's talk of Celia Matthews echoed too loudly in my head. I pictured Mama on the mantel, smiling down at him. How could Daddy have done to her what he did? With her
best friend.
How could Celia have done it? I couldn't begin to imagine Alison's doing something like that to me. They had both betrayed Mama. Daddy had betrayed her, when she loved him so much.

I could hear no more. Sick to my stomach, I turned toward my bedroom. But when I rounded the corner, a loud crash rang from Robert's room. My breath caught.

“What was that?” Katherine cried.

I scurried to throw open Robert's door, searching the dimness. From the family room came the sound of running feet.

“Robert?” I flipped on the light, rushed inside. My brother had collapsed on the floor, his crutches scattered like two pickup sticks. Softball trophies lay askew on the carpet. He squinted in the sudden glare.

“What are you doing?” I crouched at his side.

Daddy and Katherine ran into the room. “What happened?” Daddy sank to his knees. “Robert? Say something!”

Robert batted bleary eyes into focus. “Howdy.”

“What—” I threw out my hands. “What did you do?”

“Just tryin' to go to the bathroom. One crutch got away.”

“Oh, Robert!” Katherine slapped her hand to her chest. “You scared us to death!”

“Sorry.”

“Come on.” Daddy pulled the crutches together. “Let's get you up. I'll help you to the bathroom and back into bed.” He looked over his shoulder at Katherine. “I think he's just woozy from the pain pills.”

It was all too much. Spindly fingers snatched the air right out of my throat. My eyes pricked with sudden tears.

“It's okay.” Katherine rubbed my back. “He's going to be fine.”

I nodded, my whole insides trembling. But I wasn't crying in relief. I couldn't push their conversation from my head.

Daddy shot me a glance. “Help us, Jackie.”

The three of us tugged and lifted and straightened until Robert stood swaying on his crutches, Daddy's hands under his elbow. “Okay, champ, let's go. Then it's back to bed.”

I didn't want to say another word to Katherine. I couldn't look at her, too afraid she'd see the truth on my face.

“Jackie? Are you okay?” She touched my arm.

I focused on my feet. “Uh-huh.”

She surveyed me. “No, you're not.” She reached out, lifted my chin. Fresh tears tumbled from my eyes. Her lips parted. “What is it?”

I shook my head, my chin quivering. She drew me to her, and I leaned against her shoulder, silently hiccuping. She stroked my hair.

I had to get hold of myself; no way could I let Daddy see me cry. How would I explain? Forcing down the ball in my throat, I pulled back.

Katherine gazed at me, frowning. Then slow dismay crept over her face. “Oh, no. Our talking. Don't tell me you heard us.”

I made no move to deny it.

“Oh, Jackie.” She ran a finger down my cheek.
“Why
did you listen?” I heard the toilet flush. “Please don't tell Daddy.”

“Telling's not the issue; you heard things you don't understand.”

I twisted my pajama top.

“We'll have to talk about this,” she said. “When we have some time, okay?”

The bathroom door began to open. I jumped at the sound. Without a word, I fled to my room.

chapter 16

I
slept little that night, I can tell you.

Robert did not feel up to attending church the next morning. Neither did I, but I had no excuse to give. I volunteered to stay home with my brother, but Daddy wouldn't hear of it. “No,” he said, “you go with Clarissa. I'll keep an eye on Robert myself.”

All my grandparents except for Grandma Westerdahl, who was still sick, clustered around me and Clarissa before the service, asking how Robert had fared the night. I managed to put on a good front. I told them of Robert's fall, how he'd blinked up at us and said howdy. Grandpa Delham hooted at that, and everyone laughed along with him.

“You want to sit with us?” Grandma tweaked Clarissa's nose.

I glanced across the small sanctuary and saw the Kings entering. “I think we'll sit with Katherine.”

Grandma smiled, clearly pleased. “Gettin' along with her, are you?”

I nodded, wondering how much Daddy had said to her.

“Hi, Katherine!” Clarissa threw herself into Katherine's arms. I watched them, wishing I could do the same thing. I still hardly knew how to feel that morning, and only Katherine could guess what I was going through. No way would I tell anyone else the shameful things I'd heard. Not even Alison.

“Hey, there, squirt.” Jason King bent down and made a face at Clarissa. She made a face back. Miss Connie hugged my sister, then me. Almost as if they were family.

Derek ambled in, head tilted. His eyes cruised the sanctuary and fell immediately upon me. He smiled almost self-consciously, then leaned against the end of a pew, talking with Grandpa Westerdahl. I blinked at that. Not that they weren't acquainted, but I'd never known them to say much to one another. Derek focused upon my grandpa, but I felt a vague emanation from him, as though he were highly aware that I watched.

Katherine pulled me aside. “How are you?” She ran her hand down a strand of my hair.

“Okay.”

“You look tired.”

“I didn't sleep all that well.”

“Me either.” She shook her head. “Way too much to think about. I worried half the night about you.”

I could find no response to that. After everything that happened between her and Daddy, she thought about me?

The service would begin soon; we needed to sit down. Clarissa and I followed the Kings to their pew. I did not want to end up beside Derek, but that's exactly what happened. “Come on.” Katherine beckoned to him. She urged Clarissa into the pew before her with sheer innocence, then followed with me behind. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought she did it on purpose.

I focused on my lap as Derek slid into his seat on the end. He took his time getting settled, his knobby knees nearly hitting the hymnal rack of the pew in front of us. “Hi,” he said.