“Sit here, Stel. Let’s get you tucked in.” I sit on the couch and he fusses over the covers and my pillow until we hear a knock on the door. I enjoy the soup and a Sprite. My eyes feel heavy the moment it all hits my tummy.
The shivering is uncontrollable. The clock reads midnight. I lie there and look out the window for a moment to see all the nighttime downtown lights shining through.
So fucking cold.
I realize there is a thick muscular arm holding me around my waist. Ty’s shallow breathing is soothing and he’s the warmth I feel at my back. I roll completely over, wrap my arms around my own waist and tuck my head right under his chin. I lay there and inch closer and closer, but he doesn’t wake. He smells so good. I wonder how I got in his bed.
I don’t care…freezing.
“Son of a motherfucker!” Ty throws the covers off of us both. He sits up, pulls off his shirt and looks my way. It only takes a moment for him to figure out what had him so hot. “Stella…” he breathes my name. My teeth chatter at the exposure to the air and his warm cocoon being removed. “You’re fucking on fire!” He turns on the bedside lamp. “Oh shit, your face is all flushed. Stel? What do I do? You’re too hot.”
“I’m okay, can you get me more medicine?” He grabs his phone and makes a call. I can hear Zoey on the other end, as he explains that I’m burning up. He jolts up and says okay to her the entire conversation. The only time he tell her no, is when she suggested coming over. Ty reassures her we will be fine. They say goodbye and my covers return, only long enough for him to get more medicine and water. Those go down, and I’m lifted to his huge chest and walked into the bathroom. He sits my ass on the cold granite countertop, pulls his t-shirt and my cami off, and flings it on the floor.
“This is going to be torture, Stella. I’m far from a doctor, but even I know your skin is way too hot.” He lifts me back up and I wrap my legs around his waist. My arms wrap around his neck and I lay my head on his strong shoulder. I cringe at the first contact of the lukewarm water and squeak out a protest. “I know, Baby. Let’s just cool you down and I’ll get you out of here.” He wastes no time getting my head under the spray. We slide down the tile until he is sitting on his butt. It’s miserable except for the soft soothing strokes he runs down my back. Our slippery skin touching is the best part of my miserable day. “You’re cooling off, almost done.” His caring words are hotter than my fever. I’m straddling him and flush with his chest. I can feel his shorts getting wetter and wetter. Even with this cool water hitting me, his arousal has definitely not gone unnoticed. We sit there until I plead that I can’t take it anymore.
Leaving me shaking in the stall, Ty returns with two towels. He wraps one around me and the other one around his waist. His shorts make a big sloshing sound as he drops them from under the towel. “Take off those little shorts, and I’ll get you your panties and a clean shirt.” Ty’s face is still concerned and I try to show him I’m okay with my eyes. I don’t even have time to undress before he brings me a t-shirt and my panties. Once he walks back out, I dry off, pull of my boy shorts and slip on his soft shirt. I look up to find him standing in the doorway as I slip the panties on under his t-shirt. His eyes follow my every movement. I rub the towel over my wet hair and use Ty’s brush to get out the knots. He extends his hand, pulls me back to the bed and tucks me under the fresh covers. Even sick, I enjoy my first view of him walking around without a shirt and only black basketball shorts hanging low on his waist. All my attention is on that beautiful V-cut leading down into his shorts. The tattoo that I saw from the front at his Nan’s house, travels down his right side and leads into his shorts. I can’t help but wonder where it stops. He lies down on his back on top of the covers. I inch over and tuck up, flush to his side.
“Thank you,” I say, as he rubs his fingers through my hair. Although I feel horrible, I feel so content to be in his arms. Ty always seems so closed off. But, tonight, he has shown me his heart is big and caring. I curse the bitch that made him be so detached. He deserves to be loved and feel love for a woman.
“You’re welcome, Stella. I didn’t want you to go through this alone. I’m here for you.” I’m starting to wish he was here for me in a completely different way than he meant.
I wake to breaking that horrendous last fever. A shower is a must, so I leave the room and head over to the studio bathroom. It’s easier to sweat this one out with the cool water running over my skin. Once I’m sure the fever is over, I put back on the panties and the practically see through t-shirt. It leaves nothing to the imagination when looking at my rock hard nipples. Happy that I didn’t wake Ty at this un-godly hour of 2:30 am, I crawl back in bed and fall asleep.
My internal clock wakes me at 5 am. I get up, text Sam that I’ve been running fevers all night and will not be in to work. I feel a slight chill and take more Advil to nip this new fever in the bud. As I return to Ty’s bedroom, I see he’s curled on his side and looks cold. Gently, I pull the bunched up blanket out from underneath him and cover him up. He’s been up all night with me and has been so caring and patient. I crawl back into his bed and lie on my back. He rolls over until he finds me and pulls me flush with his chest. His muscular leg drapes over the top of both of mine. I’m chilled and it feels good when he splays his big hand over my tummy. I turn my head, and the light coming in from the city lets me see his beautiful face. I take a moment and gaze at his features while he sleeps so soundly. Those lips are so perfect, slightly parted and full. I want to feel them pressed against mine while he pushes his way inside me. I ponder why those lips are off limits to me. It’s a crime in my book. His chest and shoulders are to die for. His skin is soft under my fingertips, yet the muscles are taut and hard. He breathes in deeply, startles, and his eyes flash open. “Stella? Are you okay? Oh, shit, are you running another fever?”
I smile at his worried look, and say in a hushed tone, “Just a little one, I took some meds. My internal clock woke me, so I text Sam at work and told her I’m not coming in today.”
His voice is sleepy and sultry. “Please, never scare me like that again, Stella. You’re always moving. You’re always doing something from before the sun is up until the sun goes down. You were so out of it. I’ve never seen you like that, then we woke, and your skin was so red and hot. Sorry, I drowned you in a cold shower.” His hand lazily swirls on my tummy and his fingertips skim the bottom of my breast.
My voice comes out a bit shaky. “I feel so bad. I’m so sorry, Ty. I know it was a really long night. Thank you again for taking care of me.”
He tucks my hair behind my ear, runs his knuckles down my cheek over my collarbone and barely makes contact with my nipple. “I was happy to be here for you. Please stop apologizing.” His thumb brushes over my nipple which makes me tense. He whispers, “We’re friends. You would do the same for me, right?”
“Yes, of course I would,” I reply softly. He rolls my puckered right nipple between his fingers. Pleasure rushes from his touch and makes everything between my legs clench and ache.
“I’ve told myself,” he pauses and takes a deep breath, “after I’ve touched you like this… that I’m not going to do this to you again.” My breathing speeds up as I watch his eyes gaze at my nipples through the shirt. He has them standing at attention, waiting for more. “But, I get around you, Stella, and my body reacts, it won’t listen. It doesn’t even listen now, while you’re running a fever. I know you don’t want this, but I can’t help myself.”
When he grinds his hard erection against my hip, I breathe out, “I’ve never told you no, Ty.”
“No you haven’t, but you should. I’m an such asshole, Stella. I was a selfish asshole Friday night when I was shoving in and out of you, knowing you want more than one night. I was a selfish asshole Sunday when I was dying for you, you finally gave in, and I took what I wanted. You told me to my face you want friendship, along with love. You said you wanted something genuine.”
He remembered everything I said?
“And look at me. I know that’s not going to happen with me, Stella. I told you. Love is not my thing. You’re so damn sexy, and God, I just can’t keep my hands off you.” He runs his fingertips down my tummy, then along my waist to my hipbone, which makes me shiver.
“Ty, I love your hands on me. I love everything we’ve done.” I run my finger through the hair over his ear, and moan as he skims his way down my thigh. “I don’t want you to stay away from me. My body craves you. I feel like you flicked a switch in me and I like it.” I do have a hard time saying what I feel, but I feel panicked that he’s going to take this away. I don’t want that. I know this won’t last. I know it’s going to hurt me when it ends. I can’t predict how long this will last, and I’m not even going to try. I just know I want him, and right now, that’s enough.
“You want me again?”
“I’m aching for you, Ty, yes,” I whisper and look in his eyes. I can’t help but send a message through my eyes that I care for him, because it’s like a train that just hit me. I’m starting to have feelings for him...strong feelings.
Ty rolls on his back and scrubs his face with his hands. “Ugh, I told you I do casual, Stella. Casual entails one night, maybe two, and we never see each other again.” I roll on my side and watch him struggle with whatever is going on inside of that head of his. The rejection I’m about to receive is going to sting like a bitch. “I like the friendship we have. I don’t want that to go away. But,” he growls, “when I’m around you, I scold myself with don’t do this, Ty. She wants more, she deserves more, and you don’t have more to give. Don’t touch her, not even innocently. The next minute, I have my hands on you… some way, somehow. If we keep going at this rate, the casual leaves and it becomes…a relationship. And I just…I just …can’t.”
“My body feels the same, Ty. Don’t take it away.” I hesitate. I just want to say what I really feel for once. That’s just not me, but he’s being honest, so I need to be as well. “We can be casual, Ty, and we can be friends. I enjoy my time with you. It doesn’t matter if we are working, hanging, talking, or the new part of this and giving one another pleasure. I’ll take your casual.” I feel desperate. I need him. I want him. I don’t want to be without him or not be able to have sex with him. I feel doomed at this moment because I’m falling for him. The thought of losing him in any way scares me. We’ve become so close. We have become friends. Not a day has passed without some form of talking, touching, and well, just being us.
“You can do casual, Stel? Can you do that with me? What if someone else comes along? Will you tell me? Cause I don’t think that I could handle knowing you were with me and then someone else the next night.” Ty rolls back on his side and looks pained. “Fuck, I know that’s not fair. I’m not offering you shit, but I just can’t share you.”
Yeah, welcome to my world when I left you at the bar with the blonde.
I give him a reassuring smile and touch his face. His hand skims my hip lightly over and over. “Ty, it took me forever to want anyone. You just ignite something in me. I don’t foresee myself sleeping around. I’m enjoying you too damn much.” I know I want more than he is willing to give. I might as well go climb a building and just jump off for what I’m agreeing to. I know I’m going to get crushed in the end. I think the building scenario may be a little less painful. I don’t care anymore, I’m tired of waiting. I have almost perfection in front of me. I want to be in the here and now.
His eyes burn into mine and with tight lips he asks, “What about Jason? He really works hard on you, Stella. And I’ve talked to him. He wants what you want, a relationship, marriage, the whole thing.”
I think for a minute and reply, “Jason is really a great looking guy. He’s super nice and he has a lot going for him, but I haven’t given into any of his advances for a reason. If I ever want to, I would tell you just like you asked.” I don’t know why I said that, maybe self-preservation. To show that I’m not as desperate as my desperate ass sounds. I don’t want to give into Jason’s advances because I don’t want what Jason wants, with Jason. I want that with this unbelievably sexy and sweet man lying next to me, driving my body crazy from the lack of his touch.
“It’s not fair to you.” I feel like Ty is wearing his heart on his sleeve right now.
“I’m a big girl, Ty. I can make my own decisions.” He cools down all the touching and won’t cross that line while I’m currently running a fever. We lie there and I rub his chest and arms until we finally fall back to sleep.
It was nice waking up in Ty’s world and arms at almost eleven in the morning. Today, even sick was the best day. There were no phones ringing, no data entry on a computer, no driving. We spent the day wrapped up in each other on the couch and had another nap in his bed. I could easily get used to this life. The laughter with him is always easy and one of my favorite parts. I feel completely comfortable and content by his side. The long looks he gives me reveals nothing, yet I know his mind is working on something. He’s told me that he has no problem speaking his mind. I believe he doesn’t and whatever he’s thinking is for him only. I wish he would open up to me. I’ve heard the name Lacey several times, and I believe she’s the one that has him so closed off to anything more than fucking for a couple of nights. I feel like he wants to give me more, but everything tells him not to trust, never to go there again.
Ty left me to go have dinner with his grandparents, Zoey and Pierce. I’m a girl, with us it comes natural to think about what it would be like to be invited. What it would be like to sit beside him as his. Instead of giving into overthinking, I act like a girl and throw his sheets in the washer on a sterilization cycle. I wrote him a note to put them in the dryer and left to go home.
I wake up later that night to the chime of a text message.
Ty: Are you sleeping? If you are, come back over. If you’re not, come back over.
I smile in the dark at the thought of his face. Everything in me wants to go and stay the night with him.
Me: I really would love to. But my exhausted body won’t let me leave this bed.