Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) (11 page)

Watching the narrowing of her gaze and the tightening of her lips, he suppressed a sigh. The large picture of Rissa in his bedroom was not going to go over well with her.

"She was very pretty," she finally said.

"So are you," he said, waiting for the storm he suspected was coming.

She turned to stare at him. "Is that all you have to say?"

Damn if he would apologize for having a picture of Rissa in his bedroom. "What do you expect me to say?" he asked. He glanced at the necklace and ring on his tallboy top. Putting it on in front of her would just add fuel to the fire she seemed determined to light. He opened his drawer and pulled a tee shirt over his head. "If you want to wait in the living room, I'll be with you in about ten minutes."

"That's all you have to say after last night?"

"I already apologized for losing my cool at the door, but if you need me to apologize again, I will. I'm sorry. I was completely out of line. I had no right to touch you without your permission and even less right to attempt to keep you from leaving."

"That's not what I'm talking about!"

He frowned. "Then what are you talking about?"

She glanced at the bed. "What happened there?"

He felt the back of his neck burn. "Apparently a little...masturbation."

"A little?"

"Fine. More than a little."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Her persistence increased his agitation. "I mean I don't know but since you're so damned interested then...judging by the number of...secretions, I'd assume yes."

"Why do you need to assume?"

"Because I can't remember anything after I fell asleep!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Carae, really."

She compressed her lips and glanced at Rissa's picture again before meeting his gaze. "You really don't remember. Do you?"

"Remember what?"

"Last night."

"What about it?"

"You had a nightmare."

"And I woke you? I'm sorry about that and I apologize if I scared you."

"That's not what I meant, Brandon."

"Then what do you mean, Carae?"

She parted her lips and then abruptly shook her head. "Never mind."

"No. If I did something else to annoy you, I want to know. What do I need to be sorry for?"

She stared at Rissa's picture again, shook her head, and turned and walked out of the room.

Damn. He followed her out into the hall. "Carae."

She turned to face him without meeting his gaze. "I'm going to call a cab to take me home."

"I was hoping you'd spend part of the day with me."

She shook her head.

"Why not? What did I do? How can I make amends if you won't tell me what I've done wrong?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does," he said and reached out a hand to her.

She slapped it away, stepping back. "Don't touch me in an effort to force a confidence I don't want to share."

He stared at her and allowed his hand to fall to his side. "We ended the night on good terms. What the hell happened? If I said something off color in my sleep, I apologize."

She stared at him. "I'm angry but I can see you really don't remember."

"Don't remember what? What did I say to hurt or annoy you?"

"You had a nightmare last night. I came in and tried to wake you, but I couldn't."

"And that frightened you? I'm sorry. I sometimes have nightmares that I...that seem to have to run their course. Bancroft told me recently that he tried unsuccessfully to wake me from such a nightmare. I apologize if I said something to offend you while I was asleep."

"I don't know what you were saying. You were speaking Tsalagi."

"Then why are you offended if you don't know what I said?"

She compressed her lips, looking on the verge of tears.

"Oh, honey, please. Tell me how I can make amends," he said.

"I don't know if you can."

"What? Oh, Carae. Don't say that. You're an intelligent woman. You know it's not fair to hold something said in a dream that I can't even remember and you didn't understand against me."

She took a deep, shuddering breath. "You have a really dark side."

"I know, that's one of the reasons I was hesitant to see you again. I was afraid of doing what I've apparently done anyway, hurt you."

She leaned against the wall. "I'm not sure I know how to handle what happened last night."

"Tell me what I can do to help."

"I really need to be held, but I don't want you invading my thoughts."

He extended his hand. "You have my word that I won't."

She stared at him for a moment before she moved forward and into his embrace.

He hugged her close, pressing his lips against her hair. "Whatever I said or did, I apologize. I've tried so hard not to hurt you. I'm so sorry I didn't succeed."

She clung to him, shaking, and he realized she was crying.

The temptation to invade her thoughts to discover what he'd done wrong so he could atone for it was difficult to overcome. The only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that doing so would make things worse between them.

"Forgive me," he whispered. He stepped away from her, cupped her face in his hands, and brushed his mouth against her ear. "Forgive me for hurting you."

"You didn't know what you were doing."

He frowned. "Please tell me what I did, Carae."

"It doesn't matter," she said, lifting her hands to wipe her damp cheeks. "It's enough for me to know that you didn't do it intentionally."

But he felt the tension in her and knew she didn't really mean it. He suspected she was looking for an excuse to blow up at him for doing God only knew what.

When she stepped away from him, he allowed his hands to fall from her face.

"I promised to go see Layton's kids today. Will you come with me?"

She shook her head. "Thanks, but I doubt they want to see me."

"You could visit with Tempest while—"

"Uninvited? I don't think so."

"Believe me when I tell you that she will welcome you with open arms. Any of my sisters-in-law would. As would all my close friends. After I see them we could go for a drive or just come back here for a swim in the pool or go shopping if you like."

"I'm always up for shopping but unfortunately I have no money."

"I do."

"Are you offering me money?"

"Why not? Generally, when I'm seeing a woman I spend a fortune on flowers and candy. In lieu of that, we could go shopping."

"We're not dating."

"Don't split hairs, Carae. You have no money. I have more than I need or intend to spend anytime soon. Let's stimulate the economy by going on a shopping spree. I hope it goes without saying that there's no strings attached."

"I really do like you, Brandon. I have from the moment we met."

He nodded. "I know and I'm sure you know the feeling is mutual. The moment I saw you, I..."

"You what? Don't stop now. I could really use a pick me up."

"I fell hard the moment I saw you...even before I saw your face." He shrugged. "But I've never made any secret of that."

She glanced towards his bedroom. "Are you ready to tell me about them?"

"No."

"Then how can we ever do any more than like each other if you won't talk to me about her? Or is that all you want?"

"What I want right now, is for you to forgive me for hurting you. I so need your patience and understanding." 

"You know I wanted more than that, Brandon."

Oh, damn. "Wanted or want?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure anymore."

What the hell had he said or done while asleep to change her mind? Had she come into his bedroom and found him calling out Rissa's name in his sleep? Or worse had she walked in and found him masturbating and been turned off? "Clearly we need to talk."

"I'm going home now. We can talk later."

"When?"

She shrugged. "Maybe some time next week."

"I have a better idea. Why don't you wait here for me and we'll go shopping when I return?"

"I don't think—"

"Don't think. Just do it, Carae. Please?"

"Okay. I'll wait here."

"You promise? You're not planning to leave the moment I'm gone?"

She started to shake her head and then suddenly laughed. "Actually, I was."

He bent his head and pressed a slow, warm kiss against her lips that left him longing to make love to her. "But now you won't?"

She sighed against his mouth. "Are you bribing me?"

He kissed her again, briefly sucking her tongue. "Is it working?"

"Yes. I'll be here when you return."

"You promise?"

"Yes, sweetie, I do."

He caressed her cheek. "I need you to forgive me, Carae. Whatever I said or did, was unintentional."

"I know." She turned her head and kissed his hand.

"And you'll forgive me?"

"I'll try."

He nibbled at her neck. "I'd walk barefoot over hot coals to undo whatever I did."

"That doesn't impress me, Brandon."

"Why not?"

She curled her fingers in his hair. "Because I'm sure you're one of those mystic types who could do that without even scorching the soles of your big feet."

He laughed. "You know what they say about men with big feet."

"Are you implying it's true?" She asked after a rather long and awkward pause.

"I'm not implying anything. I'm coming right out and saying it's true—at least in my case."

"Yes, well, some women want more than just a big dick, Brandon."

He compressed his lips before speaking again. "That's not all I have to offer."

"I hope not, because that can be vastly overrated." She stepped away from him. "Now how about breakfast?"

He watched her turn and walk towards the kitchen. What the fuck had he done and how could he find out without invading her thoughts? And why did he feel as if she'd just questioned his sexual prowess?

A
n hour after Brandon left, Carae sat on his sofa watching Bancroft pace up and down the living room as she talked. When she fell silent, he groaned and knelt in front of her. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Did you tell him what happened?"

She shook her head. "No."

He rose and resumed pacing. "You want me to tell him?"

"No."

He turned to look at her. "I thought that's why you told me."

"I told you because I needed to tell someone. I couldn't tell him and if I told any of my friends, they'd insist it was forced and I had to report it."

"You don't consider it forced?"

"How can I when he doesn't remember and was fast asleep at the time?"

"Oh, thank God!" he said and knelt in front of her again. He took her hands in his and held them against his chest. "Lately, he's been suffering through nightmares that it's impossible to rouse him from. He would never have willingly hurt you. I'm so sorry. If I'd had any idea—"

"It's not your fault. I just needed to talk to someone."

"If you're packed, I'll drive you home."

"I promised him I'd be here when he returned."

"Okay. I'll come back later to drive you home."

"I don't know if I am going home."

He released her hands, rose, and sat on the sofa beside her. "You think staying another night is wise?"

"If he has another nightmare, I'll know better than to go in his bedroom. Thankfully, I'm confident he won't come sneaking into mine with coercion on his mind."

"If you change your mind, you can call me any time, no matter how late."

"Thanks." He looked ready to leave. "Will you stay awhile?"

"Ah..." He glanced towards the door and hesitated before finally nodding. "Sure. What would you like to do?"

"Talk."

"About?"

"Brandon and her. What else?"

He sighed. "There's only so much I feel comfortable saying that he hasn't already told you."

"He hasn't told me anything of substance and I need to know if he's still in love with her."

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm not sure it's possible to be in love with someone who is dead."

"Why can't he talk about her or the baby?"

He arched a brow. "The baby? He told you about the baby?"

"He said when she died he also lost their baby."

"That's far more than he generally tells anyone who didn't know her. I know it must be difficult to try to form a relationship when he..."

"Won't talk about her?"

"I think it's a question of can't talk about her. Not won't. I think he just needs more time. When you two get to know each other better, he'll start to unwind. Then he'll be able to talk about their loss. That is if you still think he's worth the effort."

"If I had half a brain, I wouldn't. Even before the incident in his bedroom, he showed a dark side at the door when I wanted to leave and he didn't want me to."

"I won't deny that loving a Grayhawk can be challenging, but—"

She shook her head. "I didn't say I love him."

He shrugged. "But you do."

She stared at him and started to shake her head again.

He held up a hand. "Why else would you even consider staying after last night?"

A good question to which she had no rational answer. She sighed. "I wish the feeling was mutual."

"Don't be so sure that it isn't."

She felt her heartbeat increase. "Are you saying he's in love with me?"

"I'm saying I wouldn't discount the fact that he is."

"But you know how he feels."

He nodded. "But as a twin yourself, you must know I'm not prepared to break faith with him by revealing more than he wants you to know about his feelings. However, you're the first and only woman he's shown an interest in since Rissa's death. He sure as hell hasn't had any spending the night."

"If you expect me to persevere, you're going to have to tell me more than that."

"I do expect you to persevere mainly because I think you're in love with him. But I also know that if you do, you won't be sorry."

"I'm going to need you to tell me something about her because despite what you say, she is my competition."

"I suppose you couldn't help seeing her picture on his bedroom wall."