Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) (16 page)

She resisted the urge to point out she felt the same way about his refusal to even discuss his relationship with Rissa.

"However, you have my promise not to intrude on your thoughts, Carae. You also have my assurance that you're vastly underestimating my interest if you think all I want from you is sex." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. "I want a lot more than that, but I just need a little time to..."

"To what? It's been over two months since we met and—"

"And that's not a lot of time to..."

"Let go of the old for the new?"

He sighed and nodded. "Yes."

The waiter approached with their first course.

He released her hand and she picked up her fork.

"Do you still love her?" She asked, pushing her plate aside after only a few bites of food.

He sighed and put his fork down. "I'm not sure what I feel anymore, Carae. That's why I need your patience and understanding. What are my chances of getting them?"

She shrugged. "Considering how darn cute you are? Fair to middling."

"I was hoping for better odds, but I'll take them."

"Good. Now can we lighten the mood? Let's talk about your nephews and nieces."

He smiled. "Layton and Tempest have twins, with another set on the way. Randall and Benai have a son. Peyton and Avanti have a daughter. All three of my sisters-in-law are currently pregnant again, making my brothers very happy men.

"They are all great kids and I really enjoy being an uncle more than I thought I would. Having so many small people always be so damned happy to see me whenever I show up, helps keep me grounded."

"Who are your favorites?"

"Favorites? I don't have favorites," he said so quickly she knew that he did but didn't want to admit it.

"I'll bet you do," she said and they began a good natured argument that lasted until the waiter placed the bill on a tray by her elbow. She picked it up, blinked, and then stared at him.

He arched a brow. "Problem?"

"No. No...well, not unless you count the fact that I don't have enough on my... I don't recall prices being this...Can you lend me some money?"

He reached across to lift the bill from the tray, glanced at it, and then reached in his pocket for his credit card. He motioned for the waiter and handed him the tray with his credit card on top of the bill. "Didn't you notice the prices when we ordered?" He asked when they were alone again.

"I had other things on my mind."

He arched a brow. "Things important enough to make you blind and force me to spend money I hadn't planned to?"

His reaction dismayed her. "I'll pay you back," she promised.

"When?"

She blinked, surprised by the question. "When?"

"Yes, Carae. When will you pay me back? Before or after I have to pay this unnecessary bill?"

"Soon. When I get paid."

"And when will that be?"

She shook her head, confused and annoyed by his insistence. "Next Friday, but honestly, Brandon, I didn't expect you to be so..."

"So what?"

"So damned pushy about getting paid back."

"Didn't you?"

"No! Didn't anyone ever tell you that stinginess in a man is a very unattractive quality?"

"Really?" He laughed. "Don't look so dismayed, Carae. You really should learn to take a joke."

"You mean you were joking?"

"Of course I was. I believe I've already told you that I have and make an almost obscene amount of money. I'm more than happy to share a sizable portion of it with you."

"Oh. Oh," she said, relieved. "For a moment, I thought..."

"That I was a cheapskate?"

"Sort of."

"I told you that you could have anything I had and I meant it. However, for future reference, Carae, when you ask a man out, you're actually expected to be able to pick up the tab. So you might want to pick the restaurant a bit more carefully the next time."

She moistened her lips, met his gaze, and then laughed. "I have news for you, buddy. If we actually end up having dinner out again, you're paying. Period."

"That would be my pleasure."

She smiled at him, met his warm, dark gaze, and felt her heart thump at the intimate look in his eyes.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"In a moment. I need to refresh my makeup."

He nodded and rose as she stood up.

When she returned, they left the restaurant, hand in hand. Once they were seated inside his car, he leaned over and pressed a warm, moist kiss against her neck.

She trembled and turned her head so that her lips brushed against his.

He cupped a hand on the back of her neck and kissed her slowly.

Feeling his insistent lips brushing so deliciously against hers, her stomach muscles tightened. Inhaling slowly, she reluctantly tore her mouth away from his.

He pressed a quick kiss against her neck before settling in his seat and starting the car.

They made the drive to his place in relative silence because he didn't seem to want to talk and she felt too conflicted.
You know what he wants and that the moment you're alone, he's going to be all over you. And you know he's going to want to take you raw.

Raw. The memory of how big and hard he was and feeling him sliding so deep inside her made her wet and eager to experience sex with him when he was awake and intent on pleasing her. Allowing him inside her without protection again would be totally irresponsible—if the damage hadn't already been done. And if she hadn't already allowed one window of opportunity to do something about it to close.

That still doesn't mean you should toss all common sense aside and allow him to treat you like an easy lay. If you do, you're going to end up in love with a man who's not sure if he's even capable of loving you.

When they arrived at his unit, there was an elaborate vase of flowers outside the door. He picked them up and handed them to her.

"They're beautiful," she said and walked inside in front of him when he opened the door. She placed the vase on the foyer table. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." With a hand on her back, he guided her into the living room.

She looked around before she sat on a single chair with no room for him to join her.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked, walking over to the bar.

"No. Thanks."

He turned on his stereo and soft, mellow jazz filled the room. He then sat across from her on the loveseat. "Join me?"

"Can we talk, Brandon?"

He nodded, slowly, almost reluctantly. "Yes."

"Can you tell me about her?"

"I suppose I can, but I'd rather not."

"Why?"

He inhaled slowly. "Because it...it still..."

"Hurts?"

He rose and crossed the room to kneel in front of her. "I know you have a right to ask about her."

"Then tell me about her."

"It still hurts to talk about her."

"I see."

"I don't know if you do. Just because I find it difficult to discuss her doesn't mean..."

"Doesn't mean what?"

He took her hands in his and held them against his chest. "Doesn't mean I don't adore you, Carae." He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them both. "I do. It's not just about sex for me."

"But that is what you want?"

"Yes, but if it's not what you want, then I'll deal with it. I don't intend to pressure you."

"And if you don't get it from me?"

"I have no interest in any other woman. If you're not interested, I foresee a lot of very cold showers in my future."

"I know I probably gave you the impression that I do, but I really don't sleep around."

"And?"

She caressed his face. "And I don't want to sleep with you tonight."

He blew out a breath and closed his eyes briefly before rising. He walked across the room to look out onto the balcony. "How would you like to spend the rest of the night?"

"I probably should ask you to take me home."

"But?" He turned to face her.

"But I want to spend the night with you. I just don't want to have sex with you."

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

"Okay. What do you want?"

"I want to talk...I want to be held, but I don't want to have sex with you. Is that something you can do?"

"Yes." He extended his hand.

She got up and walked across the room to place her hand in his.

He drew her into his embrace. "Just so you know, I had locks put on all the bedroom doors. You—"

"I appreciate the gesture, Brandon, but when I said I want to spend the night with you, that's what I meant. In your room and in your bed."

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea."

She looked up at him. "Can't I trust you?"

"I'd like to say you can, but I'm not so sure you should. It's been a very long time for me and—"

"It's been five weeks, Brandon," she reminded him.

He shook his head. "I don't remember that night. For me, nothing happened. For me, it's been nearly four years since...sharing a bed with me would not be a good idea."

"It's what I need from you, Brandon."

He sighed, placing a hand over his forehead briefly before he released her. "Then that's what you'll get."

"I will?"

"Yes. Make yourself at home while I go take a very cold shower." He turned away.

She caught his hand. "I'm sorry, but—"

He shook his head. "Don't be. I've asked for your patience and understanding. I have to be willing and able to make a similar effort. It won't be easy, but I want to give you what you need. If you need me to hold you, then I'll hold you...even if I burst a couple of blood vessels while doing it."

She laughed.

He arched a brow. "I'm glad one of us is amused."

"I'm really not."
I just need a sign in addition to your removing her pictures to give me some hope and help me decide what I need to do
. She kissed his hand.

"I'll be back."

When he left, she walked out onto the balcony and sat staring up at the sky until the beauty of the night lured her to sleep.

* * *

W
hen Brandon returned to the living room, freshly showered and wearing a sweat suit, he found her sleeping.  He knelt beside her and gently stroked her cheek. She looked peaceful but he found the urge to pick her up and carry her into his bedroom to make love to her difficult to resist. So he didn't. He picked her up and carried her through the condo to his bedroom.

Her eyes fluttered open when he gently lay her on his bed. He watched her blink and slowly sit up, her gaze going to the wall opposite his bed where Rissa's picture had hung since he'd bought the condo, twenty months earlier.

She kicked off her shoes and rose to quickly remove her blouse and slacks. Then, giving him only a few seconds to appreciate her camisole and thong clad body, she slipped under the covers, turning her back to him. "Hold me."

He wanted and needed to do so much more, but he'd disappointed her once and wouldn't do it again. He'd keep his promise. Removing his top, he kept the sweat bottoms on and slipped into bed behind her, curling his body against her back.

She felt soft and warm. Her perfume and natural scent intoxicated him, weakening his ability to remain unaroused.

She settled her big, round ass against his groin, sending a jolt of desire through him. He felt his cock stirring in response.

Gritting his teeth, he slipped an arm over her waist.

She made a soft, contented sound and pressed closer.

He closed his eyes and struggled to shift his thoughts away from how close she was and how much he wanted her to the need not to disappoint her again. She made that difficult by continually shifting her body into intimate contact with his groin.

What the hell was she trying to do to him? Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her even breathing signaled the fact that she had fallen back to sleep.

Lucky her. He remained awake, unable to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Several hours later, around two a.m., he slipped out of bed with a raging hard on.

After getting a seltzer water from the refrigerator, he went out onto the balcony to listen to jazz. He lay on a chaise, taking deep breaths and staring up at the stars until he started falling asleep. He turned off the music and returned to his bedroom.

Slipping back into bed with her, he kissed her neck, settled his groin against her warm, round ass, and finally fell into a deep sleep, free of nightmares.

Brandon woke a few hours later alone in bed with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling his nostrils. He stumbled into the master bath to take care of his needs before making his way to the kitchen.

Carae stood at the floor to ceiling windows sipping from a large coffee mug, wearing the shirt he had worn the night before. The bottom of the shirt lovingly clung to her ass, showcasing her long, shapely legs.

Recalling the torturous night he'd spent holding her, he longed to rush across the room, sweep her into his arms, and take her back to his bed to ravish her.

But from her perspective, he'd already done that twice. The next time they were intimate had to be all about her.

"'Morning."

She turned to smile at him. "Morning, sweetie." She lifted her cup. "Coffee?"

He nodded and watched her walk over to the counter to pour him a cup before he walked into the kitchen to take it.

"Are you hungry?" She asked. "I can make breakfast."

"I am, but I need to go down to the gym for an hour or so. Want to come with me?"

"Thanks, but I'm feeling far too lazy to exercise. I think I'll wait here and just rifle through your things while you're gone."

He shrugged. "I have nothing to hide." He put his cup down, kissed the side of her neck, and walked to the door.

"Brandon?"

He turned. "Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For last night. I really needed to be held without worrying that you'd pressure me into sex. I know last night wasn't easy for you."

"How do you know that?"

"You mean aside from the fact that you admitted it wouldn't be?" She shrugged and lowered her gaze. "Because every time I woke up, I felt your cock pressing against my ass."