Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) (4 page)

He inhaled slowly. Probably singing love songs to her wasn't a great idea. He intended to make the rest of the drive in silence. Still when
Slow Hand
came on, he found it impossible not to sing that as well.

"You have a romantic, sexy as hell voice, Brandon. I can't believe you're not a professional singer."

"I used to sing in a band with some friends."

"Professionally?"

"No. We all have real jobs."

"I can't believe the range you have. You can sing God-awful country, jazz, or blues with equal ease. You're wasted doing anything but singing to an audience full of panting, appreciative women."

"Thanks, but I'm very good at what I do and most of the time I enjoy it."

"I'll bet you're good at most things, sweetie."

"If you keep flirting with me..."

"If I keep flirting with you...what?"

"It'll go to my head."

"I'm intrigued. Which one?"

"Which...?" After a moment of surprise, he laughed.

She laughed too.

Although he was tempted to tell her she was arousing him, he lapsed into silence instead.

She sighed. "I hope you're not getting the wrong impression. I don't usually—"

"It's all right."

"You seem shocked."

"I'm not. It's just been awhile since an attractive woman flirted with me and I'm not used to trading double entendres with Lelia's friends."

"Do you like it?"

"With the right woman? Yes, and before you ask, you're the right woman, Carae."

"Right answer."

He smiled but said nothing. They made the remaining fifteen-minute drive listening to soft jazz.

At her open apartment door, she put her hand on his arm. "Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?"

He glanced into the dimly lit interior. The thought that she shared it with another man left him longing to go inside to make sure there were in fact two bedrooms, but he knew surrendering to that urge would probably end with them in bed. While he'd never wanted anything more than to sleep with her, he was determined not to surrender to his baser instincts.

"Yes, I would, but I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because I have zero interest in coffee."

She slipped a hand up his chest to link around his neck. "Same here, sweetie. I was thinking you might sing to me again and we could do a little more flirting."

Alone with her inside, he'd want to do more than sing and flirt. "Thanks, but I'd better say good night."

"Where's your sense of fairness?" She stroked her fingers through his hair. "I did all the work, revving you up and now someone else gets the benefits? You are revved up. Aren't you?"

"I think you know that I am."

"That makes two of us." She kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

Feeling her warm, soft lips on his made rational thought difficult. He longed to follow her inside, strip her naked, and spend the night buried deep inside her. But he was determined not to use her when he suspected she wanted far more from him than he had to give.

After several sweet moments of enjoying the taste of her lips, he inhaled and lifted his head out of range of her mouth. "Believe me, Carae, I'm doing you a favor by leaving."

"The only favor I asked was a lift home."

"If it's any consolation, I'll be going home alone."

"You promise?"

"Yes."

She sighed. "Then I guess I'll have to be satisfied with that for now, but I'm warning you, I know what I want and I want you."

God knew the feeling was mutual.

She kissed him again, this time, running the tip of her tongue over his mouth as she caressed his hair.

She revved him up with very little effort. Despite himself, he slipped an arm around her waist, drew her body into close, intimate contact with his, and sucked her tongue into his mouth.

She moaned, shivered against him, and slipped a hand between their bodies.

With her hand just inches from his groin, he reined in his passion and quickly stepped away from her.

"Please stay, Brandon."

That was the last thing he could do. He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers. "I have to go."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't."

"I wish it were that simple. It's not. The only thing I'm certain of is that if I stay, you'll end up hurt." He brushed his fingers against her cheek and then walked away before he could surrender to his hunger for her.

He saw his SUV parked in front of the building with Bancroft at the wheel when he exited. He slipped into the passenger seat. "I don't want to talk," he said and closed his eyes.

"Fine, but you'd better be prepared to listen, Hoss, because I'm going to have my say."

"There's really nothing to say."

"There's plenty to say. Starting with you like her. She clearly likes you. Why the hell are we driving away from her place?"

"You expect me to treat her like an easy lay?"

"I expect you to respect the fact that she's an adult capable of making her own decisions and mistakes."

"So you admit that if we start a relationship, it'll be a mistake."

"I admit that's a possibility. However, I still expect you to give yourself a chance to get to know her. You can do that without hopping in the sack with her the first night."

"Leave it, Croft."

"I'm not only not going to leave it, but I'm going to actively do everything in my power to encourage her to pursue you."

"If you do that, she'll end up hurt."

"Only if you make a conscious choice to hurt her."

"Look, Croft—"

"My mind is made up. I am not going to stand by and watch you push away the first woman to capture your interest in years. Instead of engaging in an argument that I am determined not to let you win, let's head over to Randall's place and go for a ride."

The Grayhawks kept their horses stabled among the three mansions in the family. Brandon and Bancroft, who both lived in apartments in the city, kept their horses at Randall's sprawling property. He lived an hour from Layton and forty minutes from Peyton's mansion.

They drove to Randall's property, saddled their horses and went for a long moonlight ride. They didn't talk, but just riding with Bancroft helped release some of the tension he'd built up struggling to resist the passion Carae had aroused.

He and Bancroft arrived at his condo just after one in the morning. Feeling bone weary, he tumbled into bed after a quick shower. He lay staring at the picture of Rissa that graced the wall opposite his bed. All his hopes for a happy, fulfilling life as a husband and father had died with her. Without her, there was nothing. There would never be anything worthwhile in his romantic life without her by his side as his sheenea and wife. And yet...his thoughts turned to Carae and the shocking level of rightness he'd felt when she'd held him.

His strong emotional reaction to her felt almost like cheating. How could he want another woman with such a mindless gut-wrenching passion? Rissa had been the one woman who could and did complete him and made him whole. Her death left an ache in his heart he feared would always remain.

Yes, he'd hungered for Carae from the moment he'd inexplicably felt drawn to her. However, that was just lust. It would never rival what he'd felt for Rissa and surrendering to his desire to bed her would pander to his baser nature and rob her of the respect and love she deserved.

Yet lustful thoughts of her plagued him until he finally drifted into a series of erotic dreams where it wasn't only okay but right that he mindlessly ravish the sweet and willing Carae.

His dreams of thrusting his fully erect cock deep into her pussy and alternating between kissing her sweet, lush lips and feasting on her breasts while he paddled her big ass were so graphic that he woke once during the night to find himself grinding against his mattress.

T
he ringing phone woke Brandon the next morning. Feeling irritable, horny, and in no mood to talk, he let it go to voicemail. He drifted back to sleep, waking later to the smell of coffee and sausage.

After a trip to the bathroom, he walked into the kitchen, poured himself a large cup of coffee and filled a plate with sausage, eggs, and potatoes before joining Bancroft on his private balcony.

They ate in silence, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun on their bare chests.

"You know what I'd like right now?" he asked as he finished eating.

Bancroft sipped his coffee. "A cigarette."

He nodded. He'd enjoyed smoking for years, a habit Rissa had detested. The more insistent Rissa became that he stop smoking, the more determined he'd been to continue to indulge. His only concession had been to stop smoking around her once she voiced her opposition. After her death, both he and Bancroft had gone cold turkey and stopped smoking.

Now his hunger for Carae seemed to be feeding other hungers.

Bancroft took a deep breath and several more sips of coffee. "Been there done that. I'm not going to start smoking again."

"Me neither, but this morning is the first time the desire has been so strong in years."

"Maybe that's because there are few things that were more satisfying after a good fuck than a smoke."

"I haven't had a good fuck since..."

"Since Rissa?" Bancroft nodded. "I know, that's why I doubled my own fucks because I was fucking for two."

He laughed before he sobered. "Without you..."

Bancroft nodded again. "Yeah. I know, but shit Hoss, I'm getting a little tired of all this fucking for two. I'd like you to start picking up your own slack before I'm worn the hell out."

He sighed. "When I'm tempted, it feels almost like cheating."

"Have you been tempted before last night?"

"Not really," he admitted.

"Well, now that you are tempted, let me remind you that it isn't even close to cheating. As much as we wish it wasn't true, she's dead, Hoss. You're not. You're a normal male with a healthy sexual appetite. It's past time you indulged it again."

"I know. I just have to meet the right woman."

"I think you did that last night."

"No. Not Carae."

"Why not?"

"She deserves far more than I can give her."

"Then give it to her."

"She's already been hurt. I can't hurt her again."

"Then don't. It's not like you want to see other women. At least give yourself a chance to get to know her."

"She's just too damn young, Croft."

"Granted, the situation would be ideal if she were a little older, but you have to deal with the hand you have. She's an adult who clearly shares your interest. Why look for problems where none exist?"

"She has a male roommate."

"So?"

"So at some point they were lovers."

"So? At some point you didn't fully believe in an all-encompassing love that destroyed all desire for other women. That changed with Rissa and I don't see you ever treating Carae with less respect and consideration than she deserves."

"I gave Rissa everything I had and—"

"And?"

And it hadn't been enough. "I have nothing left to give Carae other than lust."

"No. Whatever you gave Rissa, you received back with her death. You can now give it to Carae, Hoss. Just learn to accept the fact that you had no part in her death and that you deserve to be happy with Carae."

He sighed. As close as he was to Bancroft and Layton, he'd never told them that Rissa had strayed. "If I had immediately done the right thing, instead of—"

"No!" Bancroft slammed his fist down on the table. "You are not in any way responsible for what happened to her and I'll be damned if I'll listen to that shit from you anymore!"

He shook his head. "Your not listening won't change anything."

"Neither will your blaming yourself for something that's not your fault. So let's agree to disagree and move the fuck on, Brandon!"

Bancroft generally only called him Brandon when he was pissed off. He shrugged. "Fine."

"Good. Now promise me you'll at least think about asking Carae out."

He wanted to say he wouldn't but he felt an emotional ache he hadn't experienced with anyone other than Rissa. Despite himself, he didn't know if he would have the strength to resist her unless he kept well clear of her.

He rubbed his forehead. "I'm ready to explode."

Bancroft nodded. "Then you'll be happy to know that Sherlyn called while you were asleep. She and Darkwater are having a drop-in brunch and dinner. They want us to stop by either for a late lunch, a swim, or dinner or all three," Bancroft said.

After years of denying his feelings, Thomas Darkwater was now happily married to Sherlyn Drake. Lately, all his friends and acquaintances were either happily married or in committed relationships. The last thing he wanted was to spend the day surrounded by men who were fortunate enough to have landed and kept their sheenea's while his best chance for romantic happiness had died with Rissa.

"Interested?"

He was beginning to feel as if he'd pushed his celibacy as far as he could. There was sure to be many single, age-appropriate women at the Darkwater home. Hopefully, he'd meet a woman interested in a few one-night stands. Yet he couldn't quite imagine wanting any of them as much as he wanted Carae.

He started to shake his head.

"Before you say no, you should know that Laura will probably be there."

"Laura Leewater?"

"Yes."

He and Laura Leewater had met ten years earlier in Vail where he and Bancroft had been vacationing. Five years his senior, happily divorced with a son in his late teens, she'd been looking for a physical relationship without any emotional attachments. They'd had an enjoyable fling. When she'd moved to the Philadelphia Tri-state area six months later, they'd become friends with benefits.

Their relationship had suited them both and had lasted until he'd met and fallen in love with Rissa. Two years earlier when he'd driven her home after a party, she'd asked him to stay the night. He'd declined, but now the thought of spending the night in her arms held definite appeal.