Dimitri was silent for a few moments as he tried to think back.
“No, but I do remember that most days the air was cool, but not cold.”
Okay, not very specific
, she thought.
“There is not much I can remember of my life before I was cursed. As I have told you, I do not know what my mother looked like.
I cannot remember the sound of her voice or even the name she gave me. I could not tell you if I resembled her or my father…” His voice faded as he felt Kerstyn’s emotions crash over him in waves. She was sad and angry for him, but most of all she felt pity for him. Dimitri cursed. The last thing he wanted was her pity or sympathy. He was a loathsome creature and deserved absolutely nothing from her or anyone.
“Based on what little I remember, I have done some research.”
“You have an idea of when you may have lived?”
Dimitri nodded. He was about to give her the shock of her life,
“I am from what is known as the Stone Age.”
Kerstyn pressed her palm to her forehead. The room was spinning and she was feeling faint. “Which part of the Stone Age?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“Having no solid memories, it is hard to say―” His sigh was heavy and she saw his shoulders slump. “I am between thirteen and fifteen-thousand years old.”
“Good God,” she gasped, her trembling fingers pressed against her lips.
How could anyone stand to live that long?
she thought as she frantically tried to process this new information.
Her boyfriend was a pureblood vampire who was over ten-thousand years old.
He looks damn good for his age, not a day over
twenty-six.
“I don’t suppose you know how old you were when you were changed?”
“I must have been in my mid-twenties, judging by—”
“Your looks,” she finished with a nod.
He willed himself to stay calm as the dark memories began to surface in his mind. He had never shared his past with anyone, his shameful secret.
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Dimitri rubbed his palms together, took a deep breath, and, as he let it out, he began, “As I said, my people were nomadic and it was during our travels that we came across the Shaw Clan. They were known as a powerful, mystical tribe gifted with strange and wonderful powers.” Dragging his hands through his hair, he took another gulp of air. “They invited us to join their camp. We stayed with them for three days―” His voice wavered as his chest grew tight and his hands began to tremble. Shame and self-loathing were a double-edged blade being thrust into his heart. “Those were the last three days of my human life.
The only days I remember with perfect clarity.” Again Dimitri was silent for a long while and Kerstyn shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Her blood racing with anticipation as her heart was breaking for him. Dimitri was strong, powerful, and lethal and, yet, he was vulnerable. She felt honored that he would share his past with her, a story he had never told anyone, but it frightened him.
Was he worried about how she would react? Had he done something truly horrible?
Ignoring his warning, she slid across the bed and knelt beside him. She raised a hesitant hand and gently placed it on his bicep.
“You can tell me,” she urged softly. “I will not judge you for something that took place so long ago.”
Dimitri did not move, his intense gaze focused on the floor.
“The next day, the Shaman insisted the men in our tribe join their hunting party. I agreed, we could have used the extra meat on our travels.”
Kerstyn felt the chill that settled over his body, it crept up her fingers and down her spine.
“Did something happen on the hunt?”
He did not answer. Dimitri stood and walked over to the fireplace. Leaning his shoulder against the marble mantle, he slowly turned his body towards her, his eyes remained downcast, as if he were frightened to look at her.
“I died.”
The air slammed from Kerstyn’s chest as her hand shot to her mouth.
“On the hunt, there was some confusion,” his hand went to his chest, his fingers rubbing over his heart. “I was hit with a spear. The men rushed me back to camp where I was placed in a makeshift tent to
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await death. My people begged the Shaw to help me, but the Shamanrefused.”
Kerstyn’s heart was in her throat as she waited for him to continue.
“I was meant to die that day. I lay in the tent, my body numb, my mind blank. My soul was about to slip into the void when she came to me, the priestess.”
“A priestess?”
“The Shaman’s daughter,” he clarified. “She was dressed all in white with a glowing aura surrounding her and as she walked toward me, she appeared to be floating. She knelt beside me, placing her hand above my wound, covering my heart. I felt a strange vibration course through my body as she closed her eyes.
“Her voice was smooth as she spoke, ‘You have a strong soul, but my father says you are meant to die.’ She pulled a rough stone spearhead from her robes and drew it across her wrist, laying open her flesh. ‘I will not let that happen. Not when I have the power to save you,’ she said. Placing her hand back over my heart, she pressed her wrist to my lips. I could not fight, though I wanted to pull away fearing she was performing some kind of evil sorcery.” His hands began to shake. “But her will was stronger than mine in such a weakened state.
She seized control of my mind and forced me to drink. Her warm blood flooded my mouth and trickled down my throat.”
He paused for long, agonizing moments. “She fed me until her skin began to pale and the light that surrounded her began to fade. I could feel my flesh tearing and knitting together as I began to heal. She smiled down upon me and stayed by my side until my injury was gone and the pain of the cold bite of death vanished. ‘Tell no one of this,’ she commanded, ‘for what I have done is forbidden.’ Then she kissed my brow. I gave her my word before she slipped out of the tent into the darkness of night.”
“But wouldn’t the Shaman know?”
Dimitri shook his head. “It is true that he can see the future and much more is revealed to him than there is to me. In the end, Fate decides what to share with us.”
“So you weren’t meant to die at all?”
“I did die. That was the night my mortal life ended.”
“The priestess changed you into a vampire?”
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Dimitri’s hands curled into fists. “No.” He cursed a string that burned her ears. “The next day, everyone was shocked to see that I had survived. All assumed the Shaman had saved me, but he knew the truth.
He came to me and said it was time my people and I moved on. I agreed and we set out that afternoon.”
Dimitri swung around, his fist colliding with the mantle, cracking the stone. Kerstyn jumped as the entire house shook from the force of the blow. The ground beneath the bed shifted as anger began to fill the room. Self-loathing and shame thickened the air and she found it hard to breath.
“It is my fault. It is all my fault.”
“What?” she gasped between gulps of air.
“I should never have gone back.” He slammed his fist down on the mantle again. The stone collapsed and fell to the floor in pieces, dust settling everywhere.
“We came across a group of men. Three. One was severely wounded. They said they were searching for the Shaw. They had heard about their amazing abilities to heal and sought their help. I volunteered to take them.”
The room began to spin as Kerstyn tried to focus. Dimitri’s power was overwhelming and she knew this was the part of the story he never wanted to share, that he wished he could forget. She watched him close his eyes and take in deep, calming breaths before he became perfectly still. The violence in the room rushed away, back into Dimitri.
“These men knew a secret that I did not. They knew that the Shaw priestess possessed the gift of immortality and through drinking her blood one could gain this power.”
“Holy crap,” she whispered. “She made you an immortal.” He continued, as if he had not heard her speak, his mind consumed by his memories, “The Shaman led them to the healing tent and took my arm. He wanted to discuss what happened between his daughter and I…We went for a walk and night claimed the sky. The darkness allowed the men to sneak into the priestess’s tent unnoticed.
They slit her throat and drank her blood.”
Bile rose in Kerstyn’s throat.
“She died,” his voice cracked. “With her last breath, she cast a spell, turning her blood into poison within their guts. Their howls of agony woke the other witches. The Shaw were outraged by what they
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found and the peaceful tribe became vengeful. They felt death was too good for the evil men and they cursed all who had taken the priestess’s blood.”
“Oh, no,” she breathed as the meaning of his words settled in her bones.
“The curse of the vampire,” he said, his voice a rough whisper.
“All who had partaken of the priestess’s blood would forever need to feed off the blood of the living to survive, to live by night, to be burned by the sun, to live between the realm of the living and dead.”
“They cursed you, too?”
“As we walked, the Shaman told me everything that was happening within the camp. He explained that he could not undo the curse, but he could change it in exchange for my vow to never give in to the demon within me.” He took in deep, uneven breaths over and over again. Filling his lungs with cool air. “He made it so that I could walk in the sunlight, that my need to feed would fade over time, as long as I did not kill my victims, until eventually, my blood-thirst would vanish. This would be passed on to those vampires who chose to follow my example, such as Dorian.”
“I don’t understand. Why did the Shaman not stop those men?
He knew what was going to happen and he did nothing. He let vampires be created.”
“It was not his fault. It was mine.”
A hurricane of emotions swept through the room. Kerstyn could see the black aura of despair that surrounded Dimitri. His shame and fear weighed down on her and her heart broke for him.
“It is not your fault. Those men—”
“I led them to her. If it were not for me…” He swallowed his words and the pain that accompanied them.
Kerstyn stood. “Her father could have done something. He knew what the men were planning and he let it happen.”
“I am the reason vampires exist,” he snapped, whirling around.
Kerstyn fell back on the bed as the force of his rage hit her like a right hook. His anger clouded the room, mixing with his misery and shame until they both could no longer tell the difference in this storm of emotions.
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As she sat up, the air was knocked from her lungs. Dimitri’s eyes were white, his fangs long, his face pale. He looked like death. He was wild, the vampire completely untamed and unleashed. And yet, he did not meet her wide-eyed stare.
“It is my fault that countless innocent people have been slain, used to sate the hunger of the demons I created. It is my fault that so many have been changed into creatures who must stalk the night,” he said, his voice so deep and raw, it rumbled the walls.
Dimitri refused to look at her, to turn his cursed gaze upon her.
He could not face the disgust or worse, the pity, which surely filled her eyes. The silence grew between them until he could feel it pressing into his chest. He did not dare look into her thoughts, fearful of what he might find. He knew she must have been realizing all he said was true.
His foolishness was the reason vampires roamed the earth.
Millions of people had been drained of every last drop of their blood because he had brought murderers into the Shaw camp. He had brought this life upon his friends. It was his fault they were cursed. It was because of him that Gabriel could not escape his past, his heart hardened by hate. If it were not for him, Hadrian would have never gone mad and Dorian’s Clan never would have suffered at the hands of the Red Order.
How could Kerstyn stand to be with him after knowing what he had unleashed upon the world? Fate or not, she still had free will. She could leave and he would not blame her. He was a monster and the creator of vampires. Though he had not directly murdered the priestess, her blood was on his hands and he could never wash it off.
His body tensed as he heard Kerstyn come to her feet. He did not lift his gaze as she slowly walked towards him.
“Dimitri.” Her voice was soft and it filled his cold body with the warmth of life. He closed his eyes, cherishing the feeling for he may never experience it again.
“If only the priestess had let me die,” he sighed, his body shaking from his heavy exhale.
“Then we wouldn’t be here, together.” She stood by his side, her arms crossed over her chest, trying to resist the urge to pull him into her arms.
He scoffed, his eyes still focused away from her.
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“I can’t think of any reason a father would let his daughter be murdered. The Shaman must have known all of this was meant to happen.”
The room stilled, the warring emotions vanishing and Kerstyn knew Dimitri had taken them back into himself again.
As he struggled to bring himself under control, flashes of memories flickered in his mind skipping and merging together, blending into a long forgotten scene. The blood in his veins froze as he saw the night of his transition. He lay on the cold earth, his body writhing in pain.
“Why has this happened?” he panted.
“It has been decided, my son. This is the way the world must be
and there is nothing anyone could have done to change what has
happened. If it had not been these men, there would have been others.